Amber

Prompt: You get shipwrecked onto Jake's island (A/N: If anyone knows any good header sized Jake gifs (or any Richard characters), please let me know they're all so fuckin huge. Anyways, hope you enjoy this and let me know what else you'd like to see! Sorry not sorry Amber he's a huge dickwad in this.) WARNINGS: Jake as a person, Jake being a dick, mentions of near-death experience, angst, smoking, drinking, forced proximity, improper gun safety, etc. What's Playing: "Manchild" ~Sabrina Carpenter

The remnants of the storm still clung to the island as Jake patrolled the bank, rifle in hand just in case. It had been a nasty one, and there was another one coming soon, meaning more days stuck in the storm shelter. A wave of regret hit Jake again, making him wonder why the fuck he even decided to take this stupid job in the first place. It had been a need to get away at the beginning, now he was just punishing himself with the isolation. After Sparky went up to Alaska to be with Donna, it was just him, alone with his thoughts after successfully driving the last person away. Pieces of a little wooden boat drifted up onto the shore, could be wreckage from anything, the storm blowing in shit from miles away.

As he walked a mass up ahead sent him hurrying forwards, his gun gripped tightly and the safety flicked off just in case. Barrel raised, pointed at whatever it was that had been unfortunate enough to wash up on shore with a bastard like him.

Face down in the dirt, was you. Soaked to the bone and chilled beyond measure from the intense winds. Whatever you'd been in had likely been part of the wreckage, he doubted you were even alive. The storm had gotten you, and Jake wasn't sure if it was a better fate than being here with him.

With the end of his gun he prodded your side, wanting to be ready in the event you were violent. When you don't move, Jake makes the executive decision to put down his gun and roll you over, taking in your shut eyes and damp skin.

"Fuck me." He leans down, pressing his ear to your chest, waiting for far too long until he hears your heart beating. A nasty gash on your forehead accounted for the lack of consciousness, another fucking problem to deal with.

Had you washed up on shore with the old Jake, he wouldn't have hesitated to do all he could and help you. Now, he hesitated, not because of real danger, but rather having another responsibility to deal with. Getting drunk and high on his own was enough for him to take care of, a whole ass person was something he hadn't signed up for.

Still, it seemed that you'd come before he was too heartless.

You wake up in a stiff and small bed, your headache immense. All you'd remembered was the waves, being on a little boating trip with your friends, going out fishing. You'd all ignored the advice of the locals telling you it wasn't safe, thinking that the storm wouldn't be as bad. You'd been thrown overboard, the rest...you had no idea if any of your friends were alive. The sea had caught you, and you'd thought you were done for. But it seemed that fate had other plans, leading you to...whatever this was.

"Easy, jostling around won't do shit to help your headache."

You take in the man watching over you, becoming acutely aware of the rifle near by. "What's going on here?"

"You mean aside from me pulling you from the water?" He shrugs. "Just saving your life."

"And I appreciate it but when can I go home?"

"Not until the next storm passes, that's for damn sure. No one will risk flying out here getting caught in that. Until then, you're stuck with me. Just my fucking luck."

You're immediately put off by his hostility, but you suppose there's nothing you can do about it, you were at his mercy. If he chose to kick you out you'd be on your own without any way of calling for help. It seemed you were stuck with this asshole just as much as he was stuck with you.

"I guess we'll have to get used to each other then."

You followed Jake out while he took his pictures, mostly because you didn't want to be alone after he'd not so subtly warned about the wildlife that lurked around. With Jake taking the only gun and form of protection, dealing with this sardonic personality was the least of your worries. Besides, the nature of it all was rather nice to enjoy. In city life you didn't get to see such beauty often, despite the possibility of something coming out of the woods, it was breathtaking in its own way.

Jake offered a cigarette to you, and as you took a drag of it you realized there was more than just tobacco in it.

"The hell is in this?"

"Sparky left some shit before he took off to Alaska, mixed it with whatever tobacco I had left, make it last. What's the matter, too good to get high?"

"I didn't say that."

"Well it kind of sounds like you are. I know I'm not your idea of who you want to spend your time with while we wait out this storm but you're stuck with me, whether you like it or not so I suggest you just get used to it."

"The hell is your problem? We just met and you're already treating me like a total dick."

"Well maybe I just don't like people coming onto my island and judging me when they don't know shit about me."

"Your island? First off-"

"No one's making you stay with me, follow behind me like a pet, why don't you just go back to the lodge and we can just avoid each other until you can fuck off back home."

"Sounds perfect to me, you take your side of the lodge and I'll take mine, maybe then we won't kill each other."

"Sounds fucking perfect to me."

You bite back more harsh words before turning back on your heel and heading back to the lodge. It probably wasn't the best idea, but you doubted any animal would be dumb enough to attack you with the kind of mood you were in currently. You were going to rip something apart, Jake better hope he stayed away so it wasn't him.

You two kept your distance, barely interacting if you could help it. However when the wind started blowing and the sky got dark, rain kept you inside, cooped up within the four walls. As it started getting worse, everything rattling and tree branches creaking and snapping Jake breached the distance, albeit reluctantly, knowing that the proximity would be tight soon.

"C'mon, we have to get into the shelter, it's not safe out here. Tree could fall on the lodge."

You follow him to the little shelter, the cramped quarters a nightmare the moment the door was closed. You two could do little else but stare at each other from your separate sides of the room. It was like some kind of challenge to see who would break the silence first. Neither wanted to, but you were sick of his smug fucking face staring there and judging you.

"What the hell is your problem? I haven't done anything to you but show up."

"That's the fucking problem in and of itself, I didn't want some responsibility showing up here and ruining what I have going for myself. And then you're sitting there, judging me-"

"I'm not judging you-!"

"Like hell you're not! You see some loser out here, snapping pictures, smoking so much weed until he pukes, all alone. Who wouldn't judge that? But news flash, I don't need it, I was just fine on my own before you showed up."

"You're such an insufferable prick! You think you're so important that I give a shit about your life? You're nothing to me but the guy who happened to save my life. Quit thinking you're so special."

"You're right, I'm not fucking special, but the last thing I need is for a helpless little victim to point it out for me!"

You step forward into his space. "If we're going to survive this storm together then we have to at least try and get along, but you're not making it easy!"

Jake meets your challenge head on, stepping closer to you as well. "Maybe I just can't stand you being here, maybe that's the problem."

"Then do something about it, throw me out into the storm to fend for myself or something. Don't just stand there complaining and do nothing about it!"

Jake grits his teeth, you drive him insane. "You're right, I should do something about it. We're stuck here, we can't kill each other, but forgive me if I get out my frustrations in other ways-" He grabs you by the sides of your face, pulling you into a kiss.

You were tempted to push him away, slap him for taking such liberties, but Jake had a point, you couldn't kill each other, and if you were going to be stuck here together you had to take out these grievances. You return the kiss, not even stopping Jake from lifting you onto the table that was so rickety you feared it would collapse, stepping between your legs. There were worse ways to spend a storm.

Prompt: Vern takes out a newspaper ad to find a wife (A/N: Saw a thing on Instagram of a guy taking out an ad in the paper for a wife and it was so Vern coded I had to do it. I left this open ended and shorter to see about making a series, if anyone likes the idea. Hope you enjoy and if you want more Vern let me know!) WARNINGS: outdated views, Vern being a caveman essentially, mentions of smut, mentions of homelessness, mentions of family/parental issues, etc. What's Playing: "Sold" ~John Michael Montgomery

"Now're you sure you wanna do this Vern? You got plenty a' chances of findin' yurself a wife if you just look hard enough." Billy watched Vern writing and formatting the text at the local newspaper office. Most people in the city would email the file directly to the company, but in this small town out in the middle of nowhere, computers were hard to come by. Besides, he always liked the old fashioned way.

"You think I can find myself a wife when half the people in this little back country hole are all kin? I don't do that cousin fuckin' shit, sure my third cousin might like real purdy when I'm desperate but there's just some lines a man won't cross y'know what I mean? We needs to get us some fresh blood in this town, and you know me with talkin' to them yuppies in the city, always ends up in a fist fight."

"That's true enough boss, but isn't this a little...extreme? Makin' an ad to find a wife?"

"Every one o' them city girls always ends up gettin' offended when I suggest comin' back with me anywhere even if it's a quick tumble in the hay. This way I know they're interested."

"Well what'chu gonna say?" Billy leans over Vern's shoulder to watch him write with the nub of a pencil.

"Simple really, I'll list all my qualities for some lucky lady." He touches the end of the pencil to his tongue before starting to write. "Thirty-two year old man seekin' a pretty woman to be his wife and live on his ranch. Must be willin' to make a few homecooked meals and tidy. No other preferences. Qualities of the man: lots of land-"

"That's a good one."

"Four shotguns, one rifle. Bought with cash. Owns a truck, and a home. No diseases, children or other women. Good loyal boy who was raised right and wants a woman to keep him company durin' the day and warm his bed at night." Vern's smirk widens at Billy's knowing giggles at the implication of his last written line. "Serious inquires only, Vern Cleary." He finishes by writing down his number. Vern slides the finished ad across the counter, pulling out a few coins with him and smiling ear to ear.

The man who ran the paper, an old soul who had been in the community for years reads over the ad before raising a brow. "You sure about this son?"

"Sure as I'll ever be sir, I've been on this green Earth too long with someone to hold close, I reckon I better fix all that. I need me a wife."

You weren't sure how long it had been since you'd stopped here in the middle of nowhere. After losing your housing and job you had nowhere else to go but to live with distant family across the country. Coming from the city the journey would take quite a few days, meaning a lot of your nights were spent in your car before you'd purchased a little tent after experiencing one too many times with a hurt back from the unforgiving seats of your car.

There was a chance your family might not even take you in, you'd never met them and since you effectively had cut off your parents they were your best option until something else came along. You'd tried to get jobs wherever you went but with no home address many businesses labelled you as "unreliable", as if incompetence had landed you in this situation.

The night was quiet after you'd set up your tent just as it was getting dark. You stayed close to the edge of the road, not wanting to take a chance in the woods unarmed figuring you could fight off a human attacker a little better than an animal one. Still the dark crept in, and you found yourself gathering wood for a fire. With the flashlight on your phone, you bunch up the newspapers you'd taken from the local shop as a fire starter. They were always cheaper than lighter fluid and if you could save even a couple pennies, you would. Two little balls of paper got nestled into the base of the wooden stack you made before an ad caught your eye.

"Opportunity for a young woman:" "Seeking a wife. Thirty-two year old man seeking a pretty woman to be his wife and live on his ranch. Must be willing to make a few homecooked meals and tidy. No other preferences. Qualities of the man: lots of land, four shotguns, one rifle. Bought with cash. Owns a truck, and a home. No diseases, children or other women. Good loyal boy who was raised right and wants a woman to keep him company during the day and warm his bed at night. " "Serious inquires only, Vern Cleary."

And a phone number was listed below. It was crazy, the dumbest thing someone could pay to put in a paper. And yet you were just as crazy for considering it. If he was serious, then it could mean a new life for you. Playing the little housewife so that you could be taken care of, not have to worry about another cent or where you were going to live or how you were going to get your next meal was insanely appealing. Besides, you doubted that he knew what a prenup was, if you did your time, you could take half of what he had and go along your separate ways. In the best case scenario, you might actually find a guy who was right for you. Either way you couldn't lose. The idea of him being a murderer crossed your mind, but there wasn't any harm in checking out the ad and the man. You'd listened to enough true crime to pinpoint behaviours of a predator, you knew how to keep yourself save. The fact of the matter was: you were desperate, and willing to try anything.

Quickly you dialed the number. After the second ring a thick Southern accent answers the phone.

"Yeah? What'chu want?"

"Is this Vern Cleary? From the ad?"

There's a long pause, like he can't believe someone actually called.

"This is Vern. What can I do for you?"

"Like I said I found your ad. And...I'd like to see about taking you up on the offer."

Again the silence stretches out, before a loud whoop comes from the other end and you hear him shout: "Billy! Boy I got myself a wife!"

You suppress a smile, the ideas of him being a murderer already seeming farfetched.

"Ahem, well missy I would be very pleased to meet you an' talk about our future, when can I come get you?"

"Why don't you tell me where you live and I'll come to you." A better chance to back out if need be.

"Well that's just fine by me darlin' I'll have you come over nice and early tomorrow mornin', sound good?"

"Sounds perfect."

He gives you the address and you type it into your Notes app.

"I can't wait to meet you missy, you're gonna make me the happiest man in the county." He makes a kissing noise into the phone like he's blowing you one before hanging up.

"What the fuck have I gotten myself into?"

favourite character from a horror series: father paul hill | monsignor john pruitt:

that's what it means to have faith: that in the darkness — in the worst of it , in the absence of light and hope, we sing.

"my head is in heaven, my soles are in hell

Imagine Max going bald after snorting all that solicite and somehow it's YOUR fault he has no more hair 😭😂

Imagine Clay looking at you like this after you playfully grab his hair and his entire wig comes off in your hand.

Imagine Erik being so stressed out and pissed at having to close up shop again that he shaves himself bald and screams that he can't take this shit anymore.

That's it, that's the post.

Imagine Tryst when he's working at the boutique and here you come all bright eyed and cute smile asking if they do fittings.

"like, can you try clothes on? Yeah, the dressing room is right here."

"no, I mean like..."

You lean close like you're telling him a grave secret.

"like bra sizing and everything? I'm trying to get the full works."

HIS. FACE. GETS. SO. RED.

He's the only one working right now; the fitting room ladies have gone home for the night.

You lift your hands and cup your chest through your clothes, giving them a little bounce.

"What do you think? About a C cup?"

MA'AM, HE CANNOT PROPERLY ASSESS YOUR... ASSETS IN THESE CONDITIONS!!! HE'S NOT EVEN TRAINED!!!

"... you look more like a D cup..."

"in a good way or a bad way?"

Is there a bad way to have big tits?? Not according to Tryst. More to hold and love.

"Good... definitely... definitely good...ummm... what colors-"

You lead him around that store, loading his arms up with bras, panties, stockings, garter belts- WHAT KIND OF CLOTHING STORE IS THIS???

He checks you out, his eyes downcast and cheeks flushed.

"Do you get commission?"

"No, I'm hourly..."

"That's fucked up. You deserve a bonus; you've been so helpful."

On TOP of your $400 tab, you slip him a hundred dollar bill as a tip. Along with your phone number.

"I like you, Tryst! You've got such pretty blue eyes. I hope I get you next time."

With a wink and a kiss blown his way, you sashay out with your arms loaded down with shopping bags.

Tryst just stares. Not only did he get a tip, but he got your number and now he gets to think about what you look like wearing that royal blue bra and panty set (his favorite color, NO HE DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE!!!)

Written for

@rainbowraii

@ambyspooks @yupstillaghost

VERN HEADCANONS!!!

Vern is only cool and collected when he's around Billy. They play off each other's personalities PERFECTLY, but when he's on his own? He's awkward 😂

And seeing you? A pretty little city kitty? HE'S A GONER

"Excuse me, I think I'm lost? Can you help me, please?" looking up at him with those big ole doe eyes all sweet and soft, HIS HEART!!!!

He coughs and clears his throat WAY too much for it to be normal (he's trying to distract from his blushing)

"Y'all city folk don't know how to read a map?"

He thinks he's being cool but the moment your eyes widen and water up at his sarcastic tone, he immediately regrets it

Makes it up to you by showing you where his favorite places in the small, backwater town are

Takes you to a greasy spoon ass diner that serves the BEST pancakes

He insists on paying even though you protest (you have literally NEVER met this man before and now he's pulling out his wallet)

He insists.

What Vern wants, he gets

AND HE WANTS YOU (he will not admit it)

Eventually you start seeing him around more. He offers to help fix your tire (he literally could not even get his own truck to start, so ???) But it's what a man is supposed to do.

Doesn't hurt to watch his arms flex as he works 🤭

Vern takes you to the diner every Sunday morning for pancakes and coffee

He's fine until you bat your lashes at him and then he's coughing and beating on his chest

He cannot flirt to save his life (small town with a shallow dating pool)

Billy is the catalyst to Vern finally growing a pair and asking you out because Billy thinks you're easy on the eyes and Vern is about ready to piss on your porch to mark his territory

(total caveman behavior)

You have to make the first move and even then he's a bit skittish. He's had hookups before but that's just it: a hookup

You're the real thing. You make his heart sing, his palms sweat

You give him grasshoppers in his tummy 😂

After the initial awkward stage, you come to find he's very handy with outdoor work. He hunts, he fishes, and you learn he loves woodworking.

He learns your favorite flowers and will stop on the side of the road to pick any wildflowers he sees. Wraps them up in yesterday's newspaper and everything 🥺

Shoves them into your hand and grunts out "here" but behind the newspaper bouquet, his cheeks are PINK

Y'all's first kiss is a disaster, I'm just gonna be honest. He's jumpier than a jackrabbit on hot asphalt so when you lean up to give him a kiss when he walks you to your door, he jolts back and smacks his head on your front porch latern

OWWCHIE!! But now you get to be all soft and hold his face and coo at him to let you see

He grunts and grumbles that it's nothing but he's secretly loving the way you hold him like he's so precious

When you kiss his temple, he damn near jumps off the porch again

BE STILL!!

Mwuah! You lean up on your tiptoes and gently peck his lips and his Adam's apple bobs in his throat as he tries to get his heart rate under control

"...can we try that again...?"

Yes you can!

Vern isn't used to someone being all soft and gooey with him (you're down bad for him as well and make it very well known to the point even Billy can see it) and admittedly it takes a while to bring him out of his shell, but he's legitimately so tender with you

He opens the doors for you, stands at the bottom of the stairs and holds your hand as you walk down, stands in front of you while you adjust your top or bottoms so nobody can see, kneels down to help you tie your shoe or latch the strap on your sandal around your ankle again

He's awkward but deep down he's loverboy coded to the MAX!!!

He prefers cooking meals with you as opposed to going out as there isn't a whole lot of places to eat in town, but he will drive you to the city every once in a while for an actual date

Will cook and plan a picnic and take you to his favorite scenic spot

Takes you fishing so you can work on your tan while he catches dinner (he's totally checking you out in your little bikini top)

Shows you how to properly scale a fish and even kisses your finger if the knife slips (that gives him an excuse to stand behind you and guide your hands with his own)

Not too big on lots of PDA, but he will hold your hand anytime you're in town and will kiss the back of it on occasion

LOVES GIVING FOREHEAD KISSES

Loves making out with you even more (even though it runs his heart rate sky fucking high when you sit on his lap and your soft lips are on his and just UGHHHH)

He thinks you deserve more than a simple life in the country with an equally simple man like him

It takes some convincing for him to believe you want HIM, crickets and all

At night when you're asleep, he watches you and gently brushes your hair out of your face and kisses your cheek and thanks whatever higher being out there for bringing you into his life

Little mushy gushy moment 🥺

Calls you baby, darling, doll, pretty girl, "my girl"

He commits HARD, YOU ARE HIS PERSON NOW!!

Thinks about the future, about buying a farmhouse with you, about raising kids with you

He's a simple man and he wants a simple life with you 🥺

He makes your engagement ring. Learns how to smith and everything (he's had your measurements for a while now) so it's perfect.

Takes you to the scenic spot and it takes him over an HOUR to propose because he keeps getting nervous and losing his train of thought. You saw the outline of the box in his pocket and knew what was coming so you were smiling the whole time which made him even more nervous because who gave you the right to smile so pretty???

Finally spits it out and you tackle him to the picnic blanket with an enthusiastic yes

Admittedly, he tears up. He never thought he would find someone, let alone be able to share and build a life with them

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Jake is getting up to take pictures of the moments after, yes you're embarrassed and hide your face but he wants to catalogue everything, the cum on your tummy, the discard clothes and tangled sheets, it's beautiful to him.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) His hands, he likes taking pictures of his hands on your body, touching your face, cupping your chest or ass, his imprint on you. On you, it's cheesy but your eyes, he loves capturing the way the light up when he touches you, roll back in your head when it's too much.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Anywhere on you makes him happy, he just likes the look of it. One of his favourite things to take pictures of.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He has a whole folder of erotic photos he's taken of you, he tells you they're just for fun in the moment but he spends hours staring at them, considers them his finest work. Part of him has considered putting them in his portfolio.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) A few serious relationships, fooled around more in college.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) Missionary, he wants to look in your eyes while he does it. Riding him for the same reason too.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) He's too focused on picture taking to be overtly goofy, he might joke about something in the picture but he's obsessed with getting everything right.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Trimmed, but when he's on a spiral he forgets and lets it grow.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Very romantic, he's making you feel like a model or goddess with the way he treats your body with such reverence and care.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) The other reason he keeps your pictures close by is so that he can flip through them and jerk off to your body, it's a common ritual whenever he's stressed or you're busy.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Body worship, cum play, lingerie, anything he can take a picture of.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) His room/apartment, he knows the lighting and best locations for pics, it makes things easier.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) Surprising him with a polaroid of you every once and a while, or getting a new outfit and asking if he wants to take pictures of it. Also just staring at your pictures.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Anything too messy that could damage his camera.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) He's a body worshiper so he's eating it, looking up at you to see every expression and change in your face.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Slow, he wants to see your face slowly contort as he hits deep, sliding in inch by inch.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Not the biggest fan, he'd rather spend his time with you. Probably wouldn't unless you really wanted him to.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) He likes what you have going, he's not really one to go too far from what you've both established that you like and works.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) He can last a while taking it slow, but he's only up for one round.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Not really his thing but if you expressed that you really wanted to use them he'd consider it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Not a teaser, unless you count waiting until he's got the perfect shot as teasing, then he does it all the time.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Whimpers and sighs, just enjoying your body and how you feel, but he quiets himself a lot to get you vocal.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) When you moved in together you noticed that all your boudoir style photos were printed and put up around the bedroom, when you asked him he just said "inspiration".

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) 6 inches, pretty average.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Medium to high, he just loves the opportunity to see you dressed up all pretty for him and the chance to worship your body.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He's up a long time, taking pictures, unless you tell him to come back and cuddle he's probably getting ready to go develop the film.

It's giving Vern if he were a mechanic 🤔 either way, imma eat it up, eat it, eat it UHHPPP 😋