Nucleus

Feelings come and go like the lies of the immoral. They are to be given just the right amount of attention in order to operate in this social construct. If I allow them to engulf my being then i would probably end up somewhere terrible and my life would crumble. “Love” is a huge catalyst to disarray and depression, amongst other things.. Letting it devour you can cause bloodletting to be a wonderful outlet of release. Love in quotations because everyone has their own personal definition of it. This is why incompatibility is present in so many attempts to find this absolution. 

Can we bring basic fundamentals into our perception of love? Such as care and empathy? Non violence and non verbal abuse? How about trust and autonomy? Basic concepts that are hard for plenty. I wish i could say the word some, but there are too many who cannot bring themselves to these wonderful and pleasant experiences.. I understand our “critical faculty” is created and molded from our lifes past experiences but from that we should utilize our knowledge and grow into a stronger human more capable of the simple ways of loving unconditionally. Let people be who they are and if not i guess let the blood flow into the energy misguided love.

When people constantly view themselves a mess and/or fucked up in the head or anything of that matter, that’s just what you’ll constantly be..

rearrange your mind frame and grow, unless you truly want to be a mess and/or fucked up in the head.

Where your thoughts go your energy goes.

Existing is such a surreal endeavor. We go day to day almost mindlessly, not paying attention to the details that continuously pass us by, or those that we ourselves pass by. How can so many of us not question the reality we live in? How can so many of us not pay attention to any detail and just worry about the things that truly don't matter?

“My hair looks terrible today.”     “I’m vegan, so I’m better and smarter than you.”   “You're two pieces of garnish short on your plate.”   “I have a drinking problem that I’m too scared to admit so I redirect my attention to innocent bystanders and blame it on them.”   The list is truly endless and infinitely accumulating and some of these things truly are so arbitrary to living a harmless path of goodwill and progression. Some of these things are stemmed from wanting to be too in charge of peoples lives. The fact is a person who is trying to control another persons life is directly breaking a law of the universe. Everyone is entitled to their own autonomy unless of course it is harmful to another human being, in which case conscious intellectual minds should come together and figure out a solution.

We must take responsibility for our own actions and know that there are so many different perspectives that make up our shared realities.. Yes, we ourselves create the reality of our lives but with the connection of those we allow in.. 

Let us grow evermore conscious of the details and be more mindful as days pass. Let us take responsibility for our actions and move forward from them. Be the human you were all meant to be. Hinder others less and grow the self more.

I’m not back here for all the clutter and distractions. I’m here to write and project it to the unknown. For the eyes and hearts of the people who don't know me in person, for the people who have no initial notions about me, and for those who really don’t know who I am deep inside. I can be fully myself here and anywhere for that matter, however each will lead to different outcomes of judgment, when all i need to do is release this energy that just so happens to be words sprouted from my feelings in this moment.

I have a deep love for all things living and not. I have a love for the people who i dislike, love for my daughter, my boss, my ex’s, and ultimately i cannot forget to have the love for myself. 

As a result of the neglecting of the self the chemicals rush through my system and take over my rational thoughts and drive for living. Ridden by anxiety and feeling manic i misplace my self..