Ambrose

[suddenly very embarrassed about walking on my knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting] [realizing i know nothing about the soft animal of my body] um . does anyone know how to live a life not spent on their knees. asking for a friend.

i'm wasting my life on the computer when i could be living my life to the fullest on the computer

My 5 year plan is to keep buying $8 frozen coffees until I die of preventable illness

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

One thing they don’t tell you about sewing is that it is actually ironing

guy who's having gauzy idealized wife flashbacks for the whole adventure but it turns out she isn't dead or anything he just really misses her and wants to get home

you cant hope to do ANY good progressive work as a feminist if you think that body shaming is a valid tool at your disposal. yes, even against men. any trait you can insult a man's body for there exists a woman with that trait who knows you arent in her corner. there are women who are fat and women who are hairy, women who are balding. women with penises and testes. women with acne and neckbeards. these traits are not exclusive to the misogynistic creep cishet men who you are trying to insult.