Ambitious Assemble

Note apps and apps that help you keep things as organized as possible are a very individual thing and quite frankly we haven't found many good ones, so... There won't be too many of those here, apologies. We actually still like to use phone widgets for quick notes or to-do lists that we literally have to have stuck on our forehead (metaphorically) to not forget them.

Other than that we've used daylio in the past, which was pretty good but not quite what we would have wanted out of it (we have terribly high standards though), as well as a diary app.

Please feel free to add onto the list, the more the merrier!

【 General 】

Simply plural - This app is so versatile! No wonder it gets recommended a lot. It feels like everything people could possibly need already and the creators still seem to update it frequently. We personally love that you can send any of your SP data to your mail in form of a document, brilliant, and now with the added chat function, what doesn't this app have!? Even if you dislike certain visual interface choices, maybe check up on it every now and then, it could be that it may look different from when you last used it or new features could make the whole experience more enjoyable. It also has a web function.

Antar - Though seemingly created as a therapeutic self development tool, Antar doubles up as a wonderful organization tool with it's beautiful flowchart feature! There are still some kinks hereabd there, but it seems to be pretty solid. You can customize it so much, it works perfectly fine for systems. Sadly it doesn't seem as frequently updated currently.

【 Personal spaces and ways to communicate as yourself 】

PhotoNote [ and other Instagram apps] - Is Instagram something you like from a visual standpoint? Are you just wanting a personal space, like a digital picture book for each and every single one of you and aren't gung ho about being part of the dreadful social media treadmill? Then maybe this app is something you'll enjoy!

TwiNote [and other fake Twitter apps] - Do you enjoy Twitter aesthetically but are bugged by the experiences on there? Or want to vent tweet shout out your unfiltered thoughts without any bad consequences? Well, if it's not about the validation from stranger's liking your post sand just wanting a personal space to shout your heart out to, this might be a good solution?

Mytter - SNS style app, like the two previous examples. Good communication tool and which one you prefer or end up using is probably mostly an aesthetic choice.

PluralKit [Or other discord bots] - Which of course means having discord in and of itself beforehand is a requirement, otherwise getting the bot would be entirely useless. You can by the way also make private servers and having a system server is something many people enjoy!

【 To find or make references 】

Pinterest - Great for finding pictures of absolutely anything for absolutely anything! Aesthetics galore!

Picsart - One of the best free editing apps we could find out there. Now any other one will do as well, but it really offers so much, wow!

We've been told, and have read online, that keeping a physical log of a conversation between alters can be beneficial. We're not doubting that, I'm sure it works for many systems out there. Our experience however was a bit chaotic. We would talk over each other, not be able to write fast enough, forget to change colors, and eventually we gave up. I wish we could've done it but we're just gonna stick with our inner dialogue. Has anyone else tried this? Did you find it helpful?

[ID]

Panel 1: Jak and Kyra are sitting at a table across from each other. There is a notebook between them and they each have a pen in their color. Kyra says "So I've read that keeping a written log of a conversation can help communication between alters." Jak says, "Sure I'll try it." and Kyra responds with "Okay you write in your color, I'll use mine."

Panel 2: The panel is filled with the page in the journal, and the page in the journal is filled with their conversation, Jak in purple and Kyra in blue. It plays out like this:

Jak: This was a good idea.

Kyra: Yes. Now the topic at hand--

Jak: Do you think bears appreciate nature? I was thinking--

Kyra: That's not what--

Jak: --that they do because--

Kyra: Can I spe--

Jak: I just think we should consider that--

Kyra: I hate you so much right now.

Panel 3: The next page continues the conversation:

Kyra: Will you please let me say something?

Jak (written in Kyra's color): Yeah sure go ahead.

Kyra: You didn't switch colors!

Jak: There ya go, happy? I can't write as fast as I can think.

Kyra: Yeah me too...

Panel 4: Kyra peeks over the top of the notebook at Jak, who says "Should we just go back to our usual method of shouting at each other in the headspace?" and Kyra answers "Gladly."

Atom's not big on fronting. He typically only comes out if he feels he needs to step in on whatever's happening. If given the choice though, he'd much rather stay co-conscious, or even unconscious in the background. It's normally not a big deal but sometimes the host just wants to do nothing for a while, and he's not reliable to be the one to take over!

[ID]

Panel 1: Atom is leaning against the wall, looking at his hand, when Jak comes in and says "Hey! The front's available for you." to which Atom replies, "Nah, I'm good." and Jak confusedly says "What?"

Panel 2: Atom says "Being in the front is just work. Having to talk to people, doing things, back pain...no thanks."

Panel 3: Jak throws his arms forward pleadlingly, he says "But...but...you can do whatever you want!" and Atom responds with "What I want to do is relax, and I can do that where I'm at."

Panel 4: Jak has his head bowed and Atom resumes looking at his hand. Jak says "I wanted to relax..." Atom says "Well go relax on your own, I'm busy." Jak exclaims "You're not doing anything!" and Atom simply responds, "Precisely."

We've been told, and have read online, that keeping a physical log of a conversation between alters can be beneficial. We're not doubting that, I'm sure it works for many systems out there. Our experience however was a bit chaotic. We would talk over each other, not be able to write fast enough, forget to change colors, and eventually we gave up. I wish we could've done it but we're just gonna stick with our inner dialogue. Has anyone else tried this? Did you find it helpful?

[ID]

Panel 1: Jak and Kyra are sitting at a table across from each other. There is a notebook between them and they each have a pen in their color. Kyra says "So I've read that keeping a written log of a conversation can help communication between alters." Jak says, "Sure I'll try it." and Kyra responds with "Okay you write in your color, I'll use mine."

Panel 2: The panel is filled with the page in the journal, and the page in the journal is filled with their conversation, Jak in purple and Kyra in blue. It plays out like this:

Jak: This was a good idea.

Kyra: Yes. Now the topic at hand--

Jak: Do you think bears appreciate nature? I was thinking--

Kyra: That's not what--

Jak: --that they do because--

Kyra: Can I spe--

Jak: I just think we should consider that--

Kyra: I hate you so much right now.

Panel 3: The next page continues the conversation:

Kyra: Will you please let me say something?

Jak (written in Kyra's color): Yeah sure go ahead.

Kyra: You didn't switch colors!

Jak: There ya go, happy? I can't write as fast as I can think.

Kyra: Yeah me too...

Panel 4: Kyra peeks over the top of the notebook at Jak, who says "Should we just go back to our usual method of shouting at each other in the headspace?" and Kyra answers "Gladly."

For the first article that I submit to this page, I wanted it to be Paul F. Dell’s work on DID. Mostly because to date, he is my favorite research psychologist doing work on DID. I found his work to be rather thorough and really accurate comparatively to the DSM’s criteria and the current vision of DID that people seem to have.

This specific article outlines P. Dell’s suggestions for the DSM 5 (which is now out - and his research was completely ignored). Of course, his research proves pretty much the opposite of what we’ve been saying DID is for at least the last 40 years.

“Awareness of the presence of other personalities has been widely reported in the empirical literature on DID. Such awareness is a common occurrence in DID. Moreover, many patients who have DID hear or see what some personalities say or do when they are ‘‘out.’’ Many clinicians have incorrectly assumed that a person who has DID can never be aware of the activities of another personality.

[…]

With the exception of amnesia, dissociative individuals have contemporaneous, conscious awareness of all other dissociative intrusions (eg, depersonalization, derealization, voices, intrusive thoughts, ‘‘made’’ actions). Thus, with the exception of amnesia, all dissociative events are partially conscious. A major shortcoming of the DSM-IV is encountered here. DSM-IV’s classic picture of DID embraces full dissociation (ie, amnesia), but omits partial dissociation. This omission is a problem because incidents of partial dissociation are vastly more common than incidents of switching-accompanied-by-amnesia.”

Basically, what he’s saying is that most people with DID have some awareness of the actions of their alters - and that this has been proven time and time again — but the people who put together the DSM are purposely ignoring this fact, which results in people who would properly be diagnosed DID often ending up with a diagnosis of DDNOS. P. Dell found that most people with DID are rather partially dissociated (essentially just ‘zoned out’/disconnected) when they switch, rather than fully amnesic.

This is especially important to note, as the entire ideal of DID that has been put out by the media and popular culture is one of complete amnesia and a total lack of knowledge of being DID, which is not even remotely the truth - in fact is so not the truth, that it’s been proven time and time again that most multiples have some awareness of their others. (This of course does not mean that there’s never amnesia, obviously, or that all people with DID are fully aware of their others… but that this vision of always being amnesic and never being aware us so incredibly wrong and unfounded by empirical evidence.)

Furthermore, P. Dell suggested a complete overhaul of the diagnostic criteria of DID.

The subjective/phenomenological model of Dissociative Identity Disorder

General dissociative symptoms (4 of 6 required) Memory problems Depersonalization Derealization Posttraumatic flashbacks Somatoform symptoms Trance

Evidence of the partially dissociated intrusions of another self-state,as indicated by either 1 or 2: 1. Clinician observation of a self-state that claims (or appears) to be someone other than the person being interviewed, as indicated by the person’s Co-conscious awareness of the activities of the self-state; and Remembering what the self-state said and did Experiencing the self-state as ‘‘other.’’ 2. At least 6 of the following 11 symptoms of intrusion by a partially dissociated self-state: Child voices Internal struggle, conversation, or argument Persecutory voices that comment harshly, make threats, or command self-destructive acts Speech insertion (unintentional or disowned utterances) Thought insertion or withdrawal ‘‘Made’’ or intrusive feelings and emotions ‘‘Made’’ or intrusive impulses ‘‘Made’’ or intrusive actions Temporary loss of well-rehearsed knowledge or skills Disconcerting experiences of self-alteration Self-puzzlement

Evidence of the fully dissociated intrusions of another self-state(ie, amnesia), as indicated by either 1 or 2: 1. Clinician observation of a self-state that claims (or seems) to be someone other than the person being interviewed, followed by the person’s subsequent amnesia for the clinician’s encounter with the self-state. 2. Recurrent amnesia, as indicated by the person’s report of multiple incidents of at least two of the following: Time loss ‘‘Coming to’’ Fugues Being told of disremembered actions Finding objects among one’s possessions Finding evidence of one’s recent actions

The sad thing about this criteria is that P. Dell found it to be more accurate than the previous criteria for diagnosing DID… but the DSM 5 acknowledged none of his suggested changes - even though it was as accurate as the MID for diagnosing DID (the MID (Multidemensional Inventory of Dissociation) is list of questions intended to figure out where people fall on the dissociative scale). ((Note: The MID questions are available online, but they require a special Excel spreadsheet to score - which can only be obtained by psychologists by ordering it from the psychologist who created it. Sad day.))

In conclusion:

The sociocognitive model of DID is necessarily wed to the DSM-IV’s model of classic DID. Why? Because the general culture’s model of DID is classic DID. Classic DID is clearly reflected in Sybil. Classic DID has also been reflected in countless portrayals of DID in contemporary films and television programs. In short, the DSM-IV’s essential phenomena of classic DID (ie, multiple personalities + switching + amnesia) are very familiar to the general culture. Although not intended as such, the present findings refute the sociocognitive model of DID because 15 of the 23 subjective dissociative symptoms that were measured (the criterion A symptoms except for trance and the criterion B symptoms except for self-alteration) are invisible (ie, completely experiential), unknown to the media, unknown to the general public, and largely unknown to the mental health field. Nevertheless, these 15 subjective dissociative symptoms occurred in 83% to 95% of persons who had DID. The pervasive presence of these symptoms cannot be explained (away) by the sociocognitive model’s ‘‘usual suspects’’ - therapist cueing, media influences, and sociocultural expectations regarding the clinical features of DID. There can be no therapist cueing, media influences, or sociocultural expectations about dissociative symptoms that are invisible, unknown to the media, unknown to the culture, and largely unknown to the mental health field.

Basically what this is saying is that what we’ve been taught about DID is wrong - that it’s been modeled after Sybyl’s story (which, as we know, was highly inaccurate and exaggerated for entertainment value) - and that many of the symptoms P. Dell found to be common amongst people with DID can not be explained by social/media influence, or even caused by the therapist - as most people are COMPLETELY UNAWARE OF IT.

So basically, every time someone says “you’re DID because you have the internet” or “because you saw Sybyl”, they’re completely wrong - as the symptoms of DID, many of which are not noted in the DSM or in popular media are unknown to the general public, including psychologists.

This trend where large amounts of people are claiming to have RAMCOA and polyfragmentation within the past few years, which a significantly smaller number of specialists believe in and treat, IS going to detrimentally affect survivors even quicker and harder than general DID where there are a larger amount of people involved both professionally and not. I called this a few years ago that sometime in the future polyfragmentation would be commonly considered a "fake marker" (just as prior community trends turned into "fake markers" like introjects and kid parts) and that's already started.

Some explanations about dissociated parts and memory, information from The Haunted Self and paraphrased by yours truly.

Every part deserves to have their piece respected, even if it doesn’t seem to fit in neatly with the others, even if you think it’s weirdly shaped, even if it just seems scary. 

And remember: Puzzles are put together one piece at a time.

Having some technical difficulties with my drawing pad so today is gonna be a repost. Should be back to normal by monday!

[ID]

Panel 1: Atom is standing with his arms folded, talking to a guy who is puffing out his chest. Atom says "Why don't you pick on someone your own size shorty." Atom is noticeably taller than the guy.

Panel 2: The guy says "Who are you calling short?! You're shorter than I am!"

Panel 3: Atom is taken aback, he says "...what?"

Panel 4: Jak is now in the front and is noticeably shorter than the other guy. He thinks to himself "Oh...right. Crap!"

I was the first alter to come forth. I wasn't aware of Nyx and she wasn't aware of me, but when I came to with my own sense of self, I already had the appearance of Yami Yugi from Yugioh. We struggled with this for years. She was and still is extremely hyperfixated on Yugioh and was aware that "if she had to pick someone to share a body with, it would be that character." This caused a lot of issues as neither of us really knew where I came from. She and I are well aware that an alter can't just come out of nowhere, and it felt beyond disrespectful to say we had DID if that's not what was going on. We knew we had a traumatic childhood, but because of the character I looked like, we could never be sure. We struggled for a long time with "are we endogenic?" Not to mention, the obvious connection between Yugioh and DID. "Did she just want a real life Yami Yugi?" What made it even more strange is that I don't act like that character at all, nor do I have any desire to be thought of as a fictive or even an introject. Considering the only thing I share with that character is the name and voice, I didn't find the label fitting.

We got our diagnosis awhile ago, but that didn't stop all of these questions from bothering us, even after we had other alters split from trauma down the line.

It wasn't until a couple of things made us realize what happened. Someone brought up to us at one point that alters can be there for years, but not come forth because they don't have an identity to latch onto. I wish I remember who told us this, because they honestly changed our entire perspective on our system. Coupled with therapy, we realized that some of the memories were indeed my own and not just hers, but I never had my own identity to come forth with until she began watching Yugioh.

A system on Tumblr (I will keep their name private unless given permission to tag) made a post about their Yami fictive, explaining "of course our brain latched onto a character who also has no memory of his past and has identity issues." That was what really solidified it for us and made us realize that I wasn't just some hyperfixation that came up out of nowhere. I have been around for years, but never realized it because it took that long to find a character to associate with and I finally came forth. My memories as who I am start with that day, but I do remember certain things from childhood that we thought were her own memories until recently.

Because DID and OSDD are less known about by therapists at large, and because they come with plenty of commonly comorbid disorders, they're very often mistaken for something else, typically borderline personality disorder or schizophrenia. In fact, those suffering with DID spend on average 7-10 years in the mental health system before receiving an accurate diagnosis. However, while this is talked about in shallow detail on Tumblr, I haven't seen a post talking more in-depth about their similarities and differences and why people, both professionals and laymen, mistake one for another.

PLEASE DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH AS WELL!!! this isn't meant to be a self-diagnosis tool, just an informational post by someone with an interest in psychology and mental health advocacy. Check with others, check reputable websites, check with professionals, etc.

Reblogs are very much appreciated- help spread mental health awareness!

“having did is horrible for a lot of reasons and shouldnt be romanticized” 

and 

“its ok to do things like picrews of all alters just to have fun”

 can and should coexist