imagine: pandora, schrödinger and monty hall all fly to somewhere (doesn’t matter, let’s say australia), and they all bring a box with them. of course, their boxes are mixed up and, now they have landed, they have to figure out which box is which. the problem is, they’ll only know by opening the boxes. they all want their boxes.
schrödinger’s box has a cat in it (may or may not be dead), pandora’s box contains a bunch of curses (and also a bit of hope) and monty hall’s box contains a goat (definetly alive, despite turbulence, but he’s a quiet goat).
schrödinger doesn’t want their box to be opened. if schrödinger’s box is opened there’s a 50/50 chance his cat is either dead or alive, and he would rather have his cat alive (it was a gift from his granny or something). keeping his box closed would leave that cat in a state of superposition, where it is both dead and alive, and so that is the favourable option for him. pandora doesn’t even know what’s in her box, but she’s curious to figure out what.
monty hall comes up with a plan. he knows there’s only a 33 percent chance he chooses his box, and that also applies to schrödinger. he says that both he and schrödinger should choose a box at random, looking for their own. schrödinger should then open the box he chose, and there is a 66 percent chance that it isn’t his. meanwhile, monty hall knows that the box he chose also has a 66 percent chance it isn’t his, meaning he probably chose wrong and his box is one of the two he didn’t choose. monty knows that once schrödinger opens the box he chose, either the goat will be in it (yay he’s found his box!) or the goat won’t be in it (he should then switch the box he chose to increase his odds). statistically, if the box schrödinger opens isn’t monty hall’s, then it is more likely to be pandora’s box than schrödinger’s, therefore giving schrödinger the most chance to not kill his cat.
nobody knows that this would be very bad, as opening pandora’s box would release all the curses. therefore, with blissful ignorance, monty hall chooses a box at random and asks schrödinger to open another box at random.
however, these odds as not good enough for schrödinger. he would rather keep all the boxes closed and keep his cat in a state of superposition rather than risk opening any of the boxes. this leads to an argument between monty hall and schrödinger as to how they are to figure out which box is which. schrödinger says they could weigh the boxes, that way they could tell what was in each box without opening them. monty hall is on a schedule, however, he’s needed for his game show in 15 minutes and any more stalling will mean he will be late, and it will take time to find weighing machines, which is no good. also, what if a cat is in pandora’s box, or something of a similar weight? then schrödinger would have a 50/50 chance of opening the box with his cat in it anyway, which are odds he’s already said he’d rather not tackle.
pandora, bored out of her mind watching these two men bicker about probabilities, annoyed that she wasn’t even invited into the conversation, but mostly inquisitive as to what her box contains, decides she’s just going to open a box while they are distracted. turns out she opened schrödinger’s box and finds a dead cat (it did not handle the turbulence as well as the goat).
schrödinger is mortified. monty hall sticks to his plan, swapping his choice and opening the other box, which has his goat in it, taking it and leaving. pandora, seeing a dead cat in a box, decides she’s had enough adventure for today, and takes her box without opening it, leaving as well.
schrödinger is alone with his box. being a doctor (of philosophy, but he’s still a doctor technically so just roll with it), he examines his cat, and deduces that it was turbulence that killed it. his heart, however, cannot help but disagree.
it can’t help but feel that curiosity killed the cat.
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