Can't Spell Food Without Foo!

01.03.2017 - I can't bear to drink this! #couplejournal #dailyfleep (at 貳樓咖啡舘 2nd Floor Coffee House)

It's only been a year, but already Death is everywhere. Each time, He looms closer. Just last year (or was it 2 years ago?), my then-boyfriend (now fiancé) got into a terrible accident. His car skidded, hit a divider and overturned on the highway. His car landed 2 lanes away from the fast lane. Miraculously, he escaped unscathed and his car didn't hit any other cars. No one else got injured. A few months ago, a dear boss of mine got critically ill and was warded in the CCU. He was unconscious for almost 3 months. Everyone feared for his life, initially. I even went to pray at 3 different temples (which I don't usually do, unless it's CNY or when I really needed to pass an examination). And when he got better, everyone then worried if he's ever gonna be the same brilliant person he was. Miraculously, he made a complete recovery. Shortly after that incident, my beloved retriever died due to cancer. He had been suffering for weeks, and in the end when he could no longer stand, we decided to end his misery and put him down. It was the first time I witnessed the life drain from a creature's eyes. I still cry myself to sleep sometimes. Yesterday, a dear friend and colleague of mine passed away. He was a good man, funny and friendly. He dropped by the office in the morning, and joked with the rest of us. I was away in court at the time. 3 hours later, he was killed in an accident while picking his kids up from school. A lorry hit him from behind and ran over the 3 of them. They died on the spot. The last time I spoke to him was before CNY. Just like that, he's gone. These last few months rather unnerved me. It's like God is trying to tell me to stop taking my loved ones for granted and to start appreciating, and yet, I'm not listening. I'm hating myself whenever I say thoughtless and hurtful things, and yet, I can't stop it. Until today, I am still asking myself this: Why am I not being punished, and yet, people that I care about are? I need to do more good in this life.

Today I lost all my respect for a senior lawyer, who I thought was a good friend. She is a religious person, and is seemingly concerned about the attitude and mindset of the younger generation. Every time I had the chance to speak to her, the topic of religion and youngsters was sure to be brought up, and we spent many an afternoon discussing in depth about her beliefs and opinions. So imagine my disbelief when I was told that she had been going around other lawyers and telling them that she had a problem with me being "too social". All these coming from someone who preached the practice of common courtesy and God-fearing, this seemed extremely hypocritical of her, and it shattered my faith of finding friends in this profession. If ever she had a chance to read this post of mine, there is just one question I would dearly love to ask her: "What good will it do to you?" That I can never understand. Usually, people talk behind other people's backs for only 2 reasons: 1. Insecurity; and 2. Ulterior motive (ie gaining an unfair advantage etc.) This particular lawyer is a well-respected senior lawyer AND a partner in her own firm. So back to my question, WHY is there a need to talk about me behind my back? Is she threatened by my existence? Does she want to live in my shoes? I really cannot understand this. It's baffling. I will try to post an update once I've figured out the answer to this.

Knowledge is power, and power is evil. I was wrong in thinking that money is evil. I've always thought that money was one of the main reason that someone can be so nasty, so bitchy and so gossipy, and that is why I've always loathed those associated with the position of an accountant. However, I have witnessed the transition of an absolutely delightful human being into a nasty, whiny old hag in a little over a year. All because she is now in a position of knowledge. Just by being an accountant. Do you know why accountants are nasty? It's not because their salary is high. It's because they know everyone's salary. It's because they know the one thing to turn colleagues against one another. Just a rumour of an increment, a whisper of a bonus, a hint of a commission, and it's enough to turn an otherwise homely office into World War 3. Half the time the rumours aren't true, but the damage it caused to others is real. Everyone wants to be the accountant's friend, because human beings are, in essence greedy. They become the accountant's friend not because they want the money, but because they want to know. With that knowledge, they can gossip behind other's backs. With that knowledge, they can exchange knowing smiles. With that knowledge, they can form their own little groups and lord it above others. But one thing they wouldn't know, is that once you lose respect, you gotta earn it back. Nice knowing you, "friend". #officepolitics

"I'd never hurt you." It's been eight long years, and lately I feel that you've been raising your voice at me more frequently, and most of the times, for no apparent reason. I asked why, but you brushed them aside. "I have a loud voice," you claimed, as if I'd only met you for the first time. If it was just you being 'loud', wouldn't I have noticed eight years ago? You told me I'm overreacting, but am I? Since when did such a simple question warrant such a 'loud' response? The words you said to me, I still remember them. The question is, do you? You hurt me the last time. You hurt me again today. What's there to stop you from hurting me again in the future?

Are you, are you, coming to the tree?

Five days. Five days was what it took to finish this masterpiece. I can't remember the last time I was this hooked to a book; the last time I remembered to breathe as I flipped page after page of brilliantly-worded courtroom jabs that I so desperately crave, never having had the opportunity to experience it aplenty

The boyfriend bought me the original classic of courtroom dramas. An absolute gem so far.

Hello. It's been a while, hasn't it? I've left my creative juices in pursuit of the hectic life of a lawyer, but now I find myself struggling to compose the simplest of sentences. ... It's bad.