Teen angst bullshit

they’re saying everyone without bush will be executed in 2026

Gen Z, entering their therapist’s office on a skateboard and drinking apple juice: Karen, you’re not gonna believe this-

like if you make a cashier cry you’re evil! sorry! you don’t get a free pass! you don’t get to stand there and see someone visibly stressed and already doing everything they can to help people and move things along as swiftly as possible and act like a toddler and insult them bc you aren’t getting your way in the snap of your fingers! they’re trying their damnedest! they don’t want to be there but they’ve gotta and that involves dealing w/ ppl and when it comes to that kind of behavior! you’re ugly!

no buts! you’re just evil! sorry if that hurts your feelings but you don’t seem to care about doing that to others so! sucks huh

Reminder.

I love when I’m about to clock out and a coworker says “you’re leaving me?” like first of all it’s so touching to know that my presence here offers you some semblance of joy and relief from the misery and anxiety-inducing stress that our work environment causes. Second of all yes bitch I’m OUT I’m gonna go play some viddy games suck it

What kind of whiplash is worse, the one felt by people who got into TAZ from MBMBAM who had to hear the babiest brother become a serious and talented writer or the one felt by people who got into MBMBAM after listening to TAZ and heard the super eloquent DM become a horny yell-y goblin man?

I crave domesticity with you. Waking up beside you every morning, playfully arguing about who’s going to do what chore, adopting pets together, getting ridiculously excited about buying boring stuff for our house like cookware and throw pillows, decorating, going to the store together, I wash the dishes whilst you dry them, brief, chaste kisses whilst I walk past you, leaning against one another on the sofa as we rewatch the same series for the fifth time, falling asleep together every night. That’s the dream. 

If you arent at least vaguely aware of your friends digestive system issues are you even friends.

The best part is when he turns the minion to face the camera & for a moment you think the minion is talking

how is this not intentional comedy

me, tipsy after two margaritas and twenty minutes into a conversation with the girl i just met at the gay bar: So she absolutely demolishes these three dudes with her god-like nature powers and it looks like she's going to finish them off and then--get this--her forbidden love and drag-racing partner drops in from the ceiling and shatters the glass and shit and is like, "Sloane, you're not a killer"--