my thoughts

LETSGOOOOO

My thoughts are in a twist when I think of our what ifs? My heart would not bear your loss. My mind would betray me in seeing you in front of me however you'll never be mine again. So I need to be sure that YOU are sure of us. Don't leave me in the middle ground. We weren't fated to be friends and so my feelings couldn't lie in the depths of my heart. It's real what I feel. As perfectly beautiful as the blue of the sky at twilight. But before anything I need to make sure does that blue reflects your blue. The ocean of your complications you talk about.

when the sole art you knew was savoring love from blades' edges, you bleed scarlet. i was also a child, i was also suffering, weeping in concealed corners. my tears, my sobs, inflicted pain upon you, or so you professed. you wounded me in myriad ways, weaving a tapestry of normalcy around the abnormal. i try to calm my boat for its really rough out here, and i haven't seen shore in a while. and you don't remember it like i do. for you, it was you, always the victim. so i endured and endure, an endless ache. hatred eludes me, a sentiment you carefully ensured. you draw me back relentlessly. the love I sip from your double-edged sword bequeaths upon me treacherous vermillion tears.

I pray for the demise of my plight, To shed these shortcomings, gain insight, In poetic whispers, my heart pleads, For a chance to grow from broken seeds.

on flesh never this radiant, it glared, the moon.

06.03.23

what am I doing? where am I going?

sometimes life feels like going in dizzy motion. i feel we go round and round. the weeks like the same, there’s whitish sky and no blues. hazy, dreamy days, where you feel like you want to bundle up and just sleep. i fear that sometimes my very well-orchestrated sleep schedule has made me feel this way. somedays the time loses meaning while some day it makes me feel alive in the best possible way. the best times are usually when the night falls, its cooler and breathable. or it must be the time when it has barely started, the sunset. the only times the sky is surreal, gorgeous, beautiful, the pinks, the purples, the violets, the reds, oranges and the yellows. this is summer that has barely begun, this is summer that lasts months.