As women, we have it hard enough. We’re bombarded with images photoshopped to create the “perfect” image of what a woman should look like. We’re in a world where we are constantly put in competition with each other. How many of us women walk past another woman and immediately judge her based on what she’s wearing, how her hair is styled or how much makeup she has on? All of us.
I’m not the vagina hat wearing feminist. However, it’s important that we as women stop playing into the bullshit and start supporting each other. I recently had an experience that put the whole women supporting women thing in a whole new light for me.
About 5 years ago, I became acquainted with a man we'll call Jack. I had gone to high school with Jack, he was a few years a head of me and one of the most popular guys in the school. We NEVER spoke in high school, but our paths crossed several years later. He was single, I was single and a bond was formed. We laughed together, we cried together, slept together. That period of time was one of the best times of my life. However, the situationship ran it's course. He got a girlfriend and I had gone back to a complicated relationship of my own. We would meet up on occasion and hook up, but eventually, things came to an end. We remained friends in the loosest of terms.
Fast forward to now. He's still with the same girl and I get texts randomly saying "Want to hookup?" Most times, I had said no, or made some excuse to not meet up. However, the other day I said yes. Why? I'm not really sure. I knew he was wasted. Not drunk. WASTED. Like can't walk a straight line wasted. I should have shut that shit down before we even started. But I didn't. We hook up and I eventually have to leave. He wasn't interested and after trying to talk some sense into him and being told and I quote "Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." So I left.
Two days later, I wake up to a Facebook message from his girlfriend. She had figured out what happened and apparently he was "missing." I didn't answer at first. Until she sent a follow up message. It was at that moment I became more infuriated than I have ever been with Jack. He's been putting this beautiful, amazing, successful women through hell the past 4 years. I obviously wasn't the only one either. Apparently, I was the 3rd girl in 2 weeks. I had made a point of telling her that even if she hadn't contacted me I was done.
I'm not that girl who knowingly goes after someone else's man. I've been on the receiving end far too many times to count. I have no excuse as to why I continued with Jack even though I knew that he was still with his girlfriend. If I know someone has a significant other, it's an automatic no for me.
BE A BETTER WOMAN! We're constantly being told we're not pretty enough, we aren't skinny enough, we aren't whatever enough by "the man." It's bad enough that the men in our society are constantly judging us and pitting us against each other. Let's not exacerbate the issue and continue to give these men more ammunition against us.
Start thinking about how you want the little girls in your life to look up to you. Do you want them to continue to see you be put down and degraded day after day? Or do you want them to see you be the Boss Bitch you are? Let's start teaching our young girls that a man doesn't determine your worth. Let's start teaching our young boys to teach women with respect and dignity.
Dr. Phil says that the most important role model in a child's life is the same sex parent. So ladies, be a MOTHER not a FRIEND. Men, be the example for your boys.
I will end with this. Be unapologetically you. But don't EVER settle for less than you deserve.
andulkaphoto
jacobvanloon
annaxmalina
blakekathryn
turnnoffyourmind
ellievsbear
