thinking out loud

I really hope I don’t encounter too many of those in my future, but ruling a kingdom, I guess it’s bound to happen. Moms do a good job hiding it from us, although I feel like that’s taken a lot of practice since one of them loves to fly off the handle when people question her beliefs, or at least apparently used to. Wait, people say I have zero game? Who says that? Why? No way, the person you just described sounds way more like a Leon to me. Or maybe even a Stephen. Fabio sounds like he’d… okay, like maybe he’d be a clown, but still! You’d have to go by your middle name for sure, I might laugh everytime I saw you if you went by Fabio. Does my middle name really matter when I’m in line for a throne? Everyone just calls me ‘Sawyer of Agrabah’ as if ‘of’ is my middle name.

You know what they say, the people in charge face the most backlash - or maybe they don’t say that, but it’s true, and they should say it! Do you think people really change that much from when they’re our age to, well, when they’re our parents’s age? Because from the sound of the stories, my parents are pretty much the same - maybe all that changes when you get older and in charge of more is, you know, being able to control yourself better, which doesn’t sound like a bad thing. Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that, See-Saw. It’s just Hurricane who says that and everyone knows to just laugh at most of what he says. Like he’s one to talk, anyway. Always talking about girls, always single. I like the name Stephen! I would’ve gladly been Stephen Amadeus, but I guess just Amadeus isn’t too bad either. Way better than Fabio which you’re never meant to tell anyone, ever! I don’t know, it’s kind of weird to think I’ve never heard your middle name, but it could sound cool with the whole title thing. Like, if you were named after your mom, Princess Sawyer Zoesephine of Agrabah! ...Zoe isn’t short for Zoespehine, is it?

Yeah, sounds like that might be a real issue for you. We’ve definitely had a mermaid smash a dude’s hand on the rocks before, and there was that time that Christian almost got his hand bitten off by Tick-Tock just like Captain Hook did. Nah, dude, other people don’t do the separation thing like at all. It’s kind of like how everyone hated Adam Driver for a while when all he did wrong was play Kylo Ren. Seriously, who wouldn’t have taken a job in a Star Wars movie??? Yeah, we all get dragged to go support Margarita on family nights, so if you’re doing music for that I guess I’ll hear you then. Why would you, though? The theater kids are a little off, I’m always worried Margarita’s going to join a cult every time she goes to a cast party.

Dang! I mean, if anyone could pull off a hook and not immediately be seen as more villainous somehow, it’d be Christian, but hands are important! There’s this old movie called The Pianist where  this chick-piano player gets her fingers cut off for punishment and, dude it’s brutal. Adam Driver’s a great example of why people should do the separation of art - and - artist though, poor dude! I’m glad his career eventually recovered but Star Wars is the chance of a lfietime. I dunno, the theater kids don’t seem that weird to me. They’re maybe a little bit dramatic but my little brother goes by Von Radcliffe, I really don’t mind people with a flair for the drama, and Margarita seems to shine within them, especially paired up with my cousin Raz. They’re like the dream team.

That makes much more sense; wow, I can’t believe I missed the context clues on that one. I was so ready to go into lecture mode like mom would have that I didn’t even realize it was you-specific. So you need adoring piano fangirls? You should offer to do the music for one of Raz’s little musicals, I bet that would help you meet girls who appreciate it and it would get you more involved in showing off your school spirit. You think it sounds pretentious? I actually think it sounds the opposite, but either way it’s not nearly as embarrassing as you think it is. I kind of like it, really.

It’s cool, I would’ve taken the lecture like a champ. Your lectures are always on point and besides, it would’ve been good practice for you if you ever did need to give some weird homophobe a lecture like that. I don’t need adoring piano fangirls, but I wouldn’t hate that, either....and holy heck, See-Saw, that’s a brilliant idea! Anyone who says you have zero game is totally wrong, wow! Fabio sounds like some weird dude who wears all black and does poety slams and snaps instead of claps to me, actually, but...thanks. I’m just glad they named me Amadeus Fabio and not Fabio Amadeus becasue I’d never pull that name off, you know? I don’t think I know your middle name now that I thnk of it...

You clearly don’t know enough people. Get outside more, you can even audition to be a Lost Boy if you think you’ve got what it takes. Actually, plenty of people hate musicians; they think your music’s boring or lame, or that your rapping is stupid, or that your lyrics are too cheesy, or – you can definitely make enemies, okay? You just can. I think she likes science experiments more than she likes babysitting, but maybe someone in the kingdom has a science nerd baby we can stick her with. Wow, way to make it sound like you’re in love with her, Amadeus. I take it back, you can’t audition for the Lost Boys if you’ve got a girlfriend.

Uh, first of all, Sawyer’s my sister, not my girlfriend. My half-sister, anyway, but I’d hope that was enough to disqualify her as a lady friend in other people’s eyes. I don’t think I’d be Lost Boy material even if I was lucky enough to have a girlfriend, though, I’d be way too scared of accidentally messing up my hands somehow. I’m a fan of separating the art from the artist, so even if I hate songs I don’t hate the person who made them, since I know making song is one of the hardest things of all, but I didn’t realize other people didn’t think of it that way, wow. Here’s hoping you guys don’t think my music is boring or that my lyrics are cheesy when they hit the radio! Or the school musical, as the case may be - do you watch the school musicals at all, like for your sister or something? Because I haven’t, really, but it seems a fun place to try out more songwriting. 

Your brain sounds like an even more terrifying place to be than my brother’s, so I’ll have to pass. I’d rather pick your brain on more important things, not on what appeals to you about the feminine form. If every love story in your brain is heterosexual, does that mean you discount couples like my moms or Adam’s dads? I wish that we could change our culture so that people admired respectability and hard work more, but ugh, I’ll take your suggestion to heart and try to find a way to incorporate it into my next initiative somehow. Well, of course it’s obvious, that’s why I guessed it. If not Mozart, then what is it?

I meant love stories for me, Sawyer, love stories for me! I’d be lucky to be half as in love as your moms or the kings someday, trust me, I know, but I know what I like and guys just don’t give me butterflies the way a pretty girl interested in my craft does. Our culture likes respectability and hard work enough, but you know, there’s something to be said for fun, too - it’s why Kings Will and Blake are the perfect couple, King Will takes care of the respectability and hard work, and King Blake takes care of the fun! You gotta have some of both to be the winning combo. Fabio. My full name is Amadeus Fabio Radcliffe. I guess Mom wanted to pay homage to her romance novel lifestyle, but bleck, I’m not a fan. It sounds pretentious and I try real hard not to be.

Because they’re annoying, come on, man, do we have to talk in circles here? Do you really not dislike anybody that you’ve ver met? Because I don’t believe that for a second. SHE’S FOLLOWED US BEFORE! It’s why I try to ditch Kiwi when I can, she thinks she’s his babysitter or something so she tags along more often if he’s with us. It’s too bad, too, he’s like the perfect little guy to have on missions. Not if we lock them in a soundproof room until the world’s fixed…

Sorry, it’s just weird to me! I don’t think I’ve ever actually disliked anyone, now that I’m really thinking about it. It’s easy to dislike people that rain on your parade, but no one hates a musician, which makes not having enemies way easier, I think. YIKES. Maybe if she found someone to actually babysit she’d be too busy to tag along? Babysitting for money beats babysitting a brother by a lot. Ha, in that case, better not make Moonshine and Sawyer a unit - I seriously feel like the world would fall to chaos without Sawyer sometimes, or at least I would. I’m pretty sure she’s my voice of reason.

How come everybody says you can pick to like them, instead of letting you pick to dislike them? Mom and dad don’t want me to be fake, acting like I like Moonshine would be the fakest. She’s just always been kind of a buzzkill. Anytime I say anything she corrects it and makes me feel stupid, I don’t even want to talk when she’s in the room anymore. Beast help us all, if Sawyer and Moonshine ever hang out I’m scared for the world. Although maybe she’ll adopt her and take her off our hands…

Because why would you pick to dislike someone? It’s bad enough when you can’t help but dislike someone, but if you have the option, it should always be the happier option, right? The only time negative emotions are useful at all are for when you need pain to write songs. I guess being honest is more important than being forgiving to some people, though, can’t judge you there. At least it doesn’t sound like you’re home a lot, right? It’s not like she’ll follow you on excursions and correct you along the way. HA, if Sawyer and Moonshine ever hang out, the world will be cured of all its problems but in the most painful way possible for everyone else involved, that would be something.

Or husband, absolutely, of course, but I think your rationale for why it might be a husband is flawed. It’s not possible to be ‘straight enough for both of you’ and if anything I think your defensiveness over your sexuality calls it into question much more than Ludwig’s. I’m not a showoff, I just work hard, that’s different. I prefer to think of myself as an honest civil servant, but if secret agent will make people respect the student council more then… sure. It’s Mozart, isn’t it? Amadeus Mozart Radcliffe?

It’s not “defensiveness” over my sexuality, it’s, like, honesty. Trust me, AppleSaws, but if you were in my brain, you’d get how I consider myself straight enough. Too straight, maybe, even. Every love story in my brain is a man and a woman, and yeah, that might change someday, but as of now? My future Mr.s and muse is very much a girl. Ludwig, on the other hand? Who knows what’s going on in that head. Hey, if you got it, flaunt it, showing off isn’t a bad thing, it just means you know your strengths. Secret agent is cooler, even if “honest civil servant” sounds more respectable or whatever, people react to cooler better. What? Nooooo, Amadeus Mozart Radcliffe is too obvious.

BED: @rorythemvp. It’d be a heck of a workout, I’m sure!

WED: @margaritapan. Super talented, pretty, nice, how could that go wrong?

Your dad didn’t have five other siblings that would still like him even if he didn’t get along with just the one, though. Besides, Moonshine totally started this fight, she can grow out of it anytime and start being fun enough to be in the family but she chooses not to. Nope, never again. Moonshine came with us one day when we were catching fireflies to put in jars and throw in the lagoon for the mermaids, and she ruined allll the fun.

That’s true, but it’s your family! It’s the one group of people you can’t pick in your life, but you can pick to like ‘em, at least. I didn’t realize it was a full on family feud over in the Pan Clan, oh Beast. What did she do to start the fire? Was it that trip to the mermaid lagoon or did she let any shots loose before then? There’s hope for her still, bro. She’s just gotta grow up. People let waaay looser when they grow up… except for like Sawyer, but she’s one in a hundred.

His future wife could be reading these messages, and she could start doodling the wrong initials in her notebook, and then he could think she has feelings for someone else and their whole life path could be thrown off kilter. They may not be public record, but they are on record at the palace in Auradon City, and my student council connections would be happy to get me inside the records room if I asked. What could your middle name be that would possibly be that flow-ruining?

Or husband! We don’t wanna presume what he’s into, but my money’s on dudes, since I’m straight enough for the both of us and there’s always at least one non-straight person in each family, right? But psshh, if Ludwig’s got a soulmate out there, a little thing like initials isn’t going to throw them off. Yeah, yeah, you got unlimited access to pretty much everything, don’t you, you showoff? That’s pretty cool, though. It’s like you’re a secret agent with top level clearance or something. I’m not telling! It’s not a bad middle name, it just doesn’t like…fit the aesthetic.

Don’t troll the poor people, Amadeus! There’s no way that there’s a ‘von’ on his birth certificate, but if those kinds of things are public record, I’d be happy to prove it if you need me to.

Come on, See-Saw, it’s not trolling if it’s fun and harmless. Everyone knows he’s my brother, calling him Von Radcliffe won’t do anything other than make him happy, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But uh, hey, full names aren’t actually visible on public records, right? Because if so I’d totally want to strike my middle name from ever being found ever. It’s not bad but it ruins the flow of Amadeus Radcliffe.