Lilypad

It’s disappointing to hear Misha say things like “id name the baby brownie because it’s a butt baby.”

It’s disappointing to hear jackles say things like “Dean didn’t reciprocate romantically”

But straight white men are historically, disappointing. I’ve never met one who didn’t not disappoint me.

Point being…Dean is bi. Dean loved Cas. Screw canon. Canon was insane anyway…remember their 9/11 plot line?? Remember canonically, Misha’s dead? Remember all the plot holes and retconning?

Choices were made.

So, my fellow gays…specifically my fellow bi and pan friends…go forth…write fics and do art. Let’s flood the world with authentic content. Let’s be the representatives we never had.

I came out as bi ten years ago. The spn fandom screaming about Dean being bi made it easier for me to accept that I’m bi.

I didn’t believe in being bi before 2016. I thought it was just an excuse for women to be slutty and men to hide that they were really gay. I thought it was only gay or straight…no middle ground.

My mom had taken me for a walk one day in spring of 2007…she’d said “I know you’re in love with your best friend. You are torturing yourself and I think that’s why.”

Ironically, I was dating someone who would later transition to womanhood 15 years later. But my best friend was a point of contention between us.

I tried to accept it. I came out to a few people and even changed my MySpace profile. But then my inbox became a flood of requests for threesomes from horny, older, married men. It freaked me out so I went back in the closet.

I didn’t come out again until 2016. I played around in fandom culture beginning in 2012. It took four years for me to stop putting up a wall when I heard “bi” and accept that it is part of who I am.

I started reading fanfics and read the way internalized homophobia was diagnosed and it fucking fixed me.

My fellow fans…my point is you are doing good work. It may look small but we change the world one starfish at a time.

The world is on fire right now. But art will always prevail. Stories live on. Representation saves lives.

Ps: when I finally came out, I told my brother first. He said “Yeah. I know.” And looked at me like I’d just called him stupid.