Raphael Santiago

(You may see this on a few blogs if you interact with in an few places but-)

-I’ve got an multi-muse now! It’s a main blog too.

-Which means I’ll be able to like your starter calls,etc and we can be less dangling in vast space

-Connections formed here, still apply over there and things here will stay here. Threads up currently will remain active,etc. 

@pulchrousati from x

Of course there had been other ideas in which wouldn’t be as peculiar. Though he deemed it not as fun and stuff that likely anybody else could get. Brief mock offense at the question; did there have to be an reason for it? There was but he was just silent for an moment. 

“I was going to say no, but actually my second in charge would be an worthy use.” 

     Magnus arched a brow; okay, well now this seemed like a gift for Raphael and not for Magnus himself. Very cryptic, Raphael, not sure if he should feel pleased or continue to be mildly confused. “And you’re referring to whom exactly? Who do you want me to spray now?” 

That had certainly perhaps been not the best explanation. Maybe he should have stuck with something else. Frankly at least that had stayed as well; the inability to give gifts after was not limited to when he had been human. “Mi error..” Could have sworn the two had met, perhaps he didn’t quite introduce them by mistake thinking of it.

He supposed at some point would have to confess didn’t hate it. That as long the other didn’t screw it up, he could manage being relatively friendly. Since really all he cared for was if Magnus didn’t end up heartbroken again. Really, it all just depended anyways. 

Raphael made an exaggerated disgusted face at the first of what Magnus said. “That I didn’t need to know.” Thinking over what to respond. “Of course not, besides I’m used to you. Not the sickeningly sweet smell of nephilim blood that even bleach probably couldn’t mask.” Wrinkling his nose as confessed the observation out loud. 

It wasn’t like he really was staying anywhere special or having settled in. Which made leaving back easier. Even if he didn’t quite know where to even start with being in charge again or apologizing to people. 

Not sure if either option was ideal; the loft was as much home the Hotel was. Except it was one thing crashing when Magnus was single, no nephilim constantly around and another now especially having offended most of them. But he figured it would be easier to manage than the Hotel. 

Magnus chuckled softly at the look of disgust on Raphael’s face. For at least a moment the mood was lightened. But there was still the heavy weight of things unsaid. Truths unrevealed. He didn’t think it was just him, either. There was more to everything that had happened. And he knew the pain of losing Rosa could not have abated all that much.

“Used to me,” Magnus parroted back, smirking.

The place they came to was nondescript. Not a home at all, just a place to stay. He looked sideways at Raphael. He needed to come home. To an actual home. If the hotel wasn’t possible then Magnus had rooms to spare. Alec would adjust. Magnus had, after all, taken in his parabatai. Raphael was far less likely to interrupt them and wouldn’t be having wild sex at obnoxious volumes.

“For the most part.” Leaving an purposeful exaggeration on his words. It was habit to banter in response.

He didn’t really think much about it, just had been a place to spend the daylight hours. Somewhere he could defend if need be. But mostly an place to hide. Finding the key inside his jacket before doing a double check. It seemed more sad looking than he’d noticed before. Then again could be that there was somebody else around for him to think about it.

Normally he would have played mock offense but hearing the quiet tone, didn’t. Besides part of leaving ended up with lots of time to consider things. Like being nicer to the shadowhunters; only if because Magnus adored them so much. Yet it wouldn’t fully mean not being an pain in their sides. He couldn’t just flip around his carefully built attitude. “Well I can manage that, though not to be rude but nephilim literally smell.”

Raphael ended up pulling out his phone which he’d kept but relatively turned off. To check the time before quickly stashing it back inside his jacket. Keeping his attention mostly on heading towards where he had been staying. After all he still wasn’t fully over just wanting to cry an lot.

“I’ll be fine, it’s enough for tonight.”

After all he could handle it longer than most if he did end up hungry. But certainly was enough remaining at where he had been staying to be enough for the night. Then well there was plenty back at the Hotel, or Magnus’ loft that it wouldn’t matter after that.

Magnus let the subject of Alec drop. It wasn’t what he’d really come here for. Although he wasn’t sure how much Raphael’s promise of trying to civil would hold once Magnus told him what he’d done. And why.

He rolled his eyes affectionately at the mention of how Alec smelled. “He uses my shampoo,” Magnus said, smirking a little. “So I certainly hope you aren’t saying I smell as well.”

He let Raphael lead them towards where he was staying in this city. It had to have lonely. Dealing with what he’d done and what he’d lost. Magnus frowned thinking about it.

Raphael made an exaggerated disgusted face at the first of what Magnus said. “That I didn’t need to know.” Thinking over what to respond. “Of course not, besides I’m used to you. Not the sickeningly sweet smell of nephilim blood that even bleach probably couldn’t mask.” Wrinkling his nose as confessed the observation out loud. 

It wasn’t like he really was staying anywhere special or having settled in. Which made leaving back easier. Even if he didn’t quite know where to even start with being in charge again or apologizing to people. 

The slowing and stopping made for some slight regret. He just figured usually given let people just assume whatever, after all wasn’t like many people knew outright. Given it did have an history of trouble being involved due to it. In a way figured if the answer was yes also would prove just how much Magnus cared for the shadowhunter. 

Trusted him that much. 

But had been aimed as an joke more than anything else. Slight nod hearing the answer. “Right.” Thinking over the rest with a shrug, “Well I can be civil but we both know I can’t guarantee not to get on his nerves.”

Focusing on walking as kept put his hands into his jacket pockets. Of course they probably had lots more to catch up on, Magnus having not really said much at all but maybe consider it an start. Besides he wasn’t sure what questions to ask or what to say. Along with needing to feed, there was the train back and when they were back home to talk. 

“Enough, I was going to get some more- but figured it could wait.” 

“I don’t except anything more than civil from you,” he said quietly. “I just want two of the people I love most to be able to be in the same room.” Magnus didn’t want to divide the time he had left between the people he loved.

Magnus walked along side Raphael, perhaps a step or two behind, studying his face. He could’t shake the feeling of regret in the pit of his stomach. He had to to had what he’d done. He’d had to focus on Alexander, on getting rid of Lilith. But he wished he could have been there for Raphael. To go to Rosa’s service for him, if nothing else. To stop that foolishness with the Heidi girl. All of it. Why hadn’t he called to tell him? Why hadn’t Magnus stopped to ask.

“We can always get more before we go if you need, I don’t want you going hungry, Rapael.”

Raphael ended up pulling out his phone which he’d kept but relatively turned off. To check the time before quickly stashing it back inside his jacket. Keeping his attention mostly on heading towards where he had been staying. After all he still wasn’t fully over just wanting to cry an lot.

“I’ll be fine, it’s enough for tonight.”

Raphael raised an eyebrow but figured maybe he shouldn’t ask. Fairly aware that plenty had happened before and after he left. That wasn’t being said unlike what he’d cared to say. But he wasn’t one to exactly push or the best at offering up an good response. He could be relatively nice; professional about things even if seemed like could be more fun to bother the shadowhunter. 

After all with his luck would end up being the one to last. Besides he didn’t entirely loathe the nephilim. Not when Magnus had somebody, something good for once and maybe one that would last. 

“Though- quick question does he think we’re strange friends or would he flinch if I called you dad out of nowhere?” 

Couldn’t help it, both being curious and honestly it was something he would probably let slip at some point. Watching the hand move and Magnus turn felt like asking questions but- maybe not here or now. 

“I also need to- feed.” Walking to exit the alleyway. 

Magnus slowed and then stopped at the question. Did Raphael think he’d hidden the nature of their relationship from Alec? How could he and why would he? Had it not been complicated by addiction and Raphael’s unfortunate falling in with Isabelle…

It never would have been the way it was now.

Maybe that was hopeful and wishful thinking though. Maybe the very nature of what Alec was would always have put distance between them. He couldn’t tell for sure.

“He knows I consider you my son,” he said, after a long moment of silence. “I would never hide that. I know it’s been hard between the two of you, and I don’t know if you can ever put it behind you. But of course he knows.”

His heart hurt. He wanted to tell Raphael everything right then. What he’d done, what he’d given up, what it would mean. That he only had fifty or so years left, if that. If he could survive that long being… mundane. He wanted to tell him that they needed to make sure every moment counted from here on out because suddenly their moments together were numbered. They had had an eternity. Forever. And now…

Trusted him that much. 

But had been aimed as an joke more than anything else. Slight nod hearing the answer. “Right.” Thinking over the rest with a shrug, “Well I can be civil but we both know I can’t guarantee not to get on his nerves.”

Focusing on walking as kept put his hands into his jacket pockets. Of course they probably had lots more to catch up on, Magnus having not really said much at all but maybe consider it an start. Besides he wasn’t sure what questions to ask or what to say. Along with needing to feed, there was the train back and when they were back home to talk. 

It was rather childish in some ways; then again Raphael hardly was known for being rational. Especially when came to annoying idiots, people, or nephilim who were faceless and nameless up till recently. Could have gone his whole life without all of it. And the trouble, the guilt and blame of all that happened. Much preferred staying in the Hotel anyways, or stalking around the night where nephilim didn’t roam. 

“Maia?” Then realizing who Magnus meant, “Oh her; I’ve really only heard vague things so-.” Dismissive shrug before thinking over the last bit. Not really that bothered by it. Though did know his father cared so didn’t say any witty remarks or anything. Pouring it into an glass he motioned towards the direction of his room. 

           Magnus hoped that if they’d met on the street, Raphael and Alexander wouldn’t come to blows. He didn’t think his heart could take two very important people in his life at it like that.He just wished things hadn’t ended how they’d had. 

Truth be told, he would probably quickly alter his route crossing paths with any nephilim at this point. More than he had previously. Could manage to be relatively polite but also he wasn’t going to risk getting into it with Magnus’ boyfriend if that was the case. As he wouldn’t be able to help snark, or probably pressing some sensitive spot. 

“She’s relatively new to all of this, though suppose I’d take that over any of the other wolves.” Indifference yet it wasn’t entirely because it had provoked some thought. Especially since clearly the warlock yet again seemed to care about another person. Might have to start making some detailed list to keep track honestly. Drinking the blood as noted the following behind; heading towards his room. Twisting the knob with his free hand before slipping in. 

(You may see this on a few blogs if you interact with in an few places but-)

-I’ve got an multi-muse now! It’s a main blog too.

-Which means I’ll be able to like your starter calls,etc and we can be less dangling in vast space

-Connections formed here, still apply over there and things here will stay here. Threads up currently will remain active,etc. 

There was so much more he hadn’t said; details especially and yet still was an lot that had come out. An major part of him wanted to get over it because surely some was not feeding in a while. Which did tend to make him moody but really he was just making excuses.

“I’ll- try my best, but getting along isn’t exactly my expertise.” Plus only an select few got to see past the attitude, uncaring front he put out. Didn’t see a reason to be too friendly even though he was coming to accept at some point; they’d both have to own up to Magnus caring for both of them. It wasn’t quite a promise the other could make but- he gave a slow nod. “Alright, though I’d like to get the stuff I brought with first.” Sentimental things like pictures, he should have left but couldn’t help taking along in case he hadn’t been able to return any time soon. 

Magnus shook his head, feeling tired. Would he care so much about them getting along if his years weren’t suddenly so short? Probably not. But he had no time now. Not really. And he couldn’t have his son and the man he loved fighting all the time. What had happened between Isabelle and Raphael… that wasn’t really anyone’s fault but Aldertree’s. The rest had just been a complicated mess.

“Please,” Magnus said quietly, and his eyes squeezed shut.

He felt every remaining year like a weight. His breath caught, he swallowed down the emotions. He let his hand fall from Raphael’s shoulder and he turned a bit towards the entry of the alleyway.

After all with his luck would end up being the one to last. Besides he didn’t entirely loathe the nephilim. Not when Magnus had somebody, something good for once and maybe one that would last. 

“Though- quick question does he think we’re strange friends or would he flinch if I called you dad out of nowhere?” 

Couldn’t help it, both being curious and honestly it was something he would probably let slip at some point. Watching the hand move and Magnus turn felt like asking questions but- maybe not here or now. 

“Didn’t say was.” Really hadn’t any strong opinion on it; except that he should have been just an bit faster. But was over with now and unlike some he wouldn’t get hooked on the what if of the whole thing. Was rather just an common thing among downworlders, as concerning that could be to some and was. “Hardly consider it, besides still haven’t annoyed even half the local population.” Was instinct to dance around it and anyways he hardly weighed much thought or time on it. 

“Besides couldn’t be your annoying psedo son if I did.”