ARFID

Useful for explaining sensory-related eating challenges…

With ADHD, a lot of what we do or go through can be misinterpreted - by others but also by ourselves if we get told something often enough.

This is the first part of my series hoping to clear up wrong assumptions and to help you find the words to communicate and share what it looks like from your side.

Keep in mind that this isn't supposed to excuse any and all behavior or diagnose anyone, but more of a communication aid.

(Arfid= Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, or formerly known as SED= Selective Eating Disorder)

So my parents and I are in the car, on our way home from the grocery store. We were talking about how many things we bought, since we like... ran out of EVERYTHING at the same time.

I said something like "The foods I requested were because I've been eating the exact same things for-"

"-For your entire life?" -My dad, joking.

"...For the past few weeks. And I wanted something different." ((Legit, I have been pretty much been eating nothing but Cereal, Peanut butter toast, pb sandwiches, and canned chili for several days because there's like. Nothing else that I want to eat.))

"Well, that's what happens when you're picky." -My mom said, knowing full well that I'm trying my best to try new things.

My response, even though that comment made me a bit upset, was a bit more passive like I was telling a joke.

"Well, it's not like I chose to be this way." -my response.

She turned from the passengers seat, and shot me a look.

"Wow, really?" - she said, very sarcastically.

~~~

I didn't have it in me to respond. I really am trying my best to try new foods. You can't even begin to understand just how difficult it is for me to do; it's almost like asking me to swallow a sword.

I. Did not. Want. To be. Like this. If you think I had a choice, do you think I would rather have mental breakdowns every time you try to make me try a vegetable? Do you think I enjoy living off of cereal and peanut butter? Do you think I like having to look at menus to restaurants beforehand and plan out what I'm going to order?

No! I fucking don't! I've come a long way- I eat more pasta than I used to, I eat more pizza toppings than I used to... I have a larger palette now than I ever had!

Point of the story; I'm trying my best, and so are my siblings with Arfid. So when someone you say is "picky" says something like "I didn't want to be like this", please be respectful.

drinking a lot of water because you’re hungry but can’t eat the food

being afraid of being invited to dinner by literally anyone

“I have a lot of unknown allergies so I have be to be careful what I eat”

wanting to explain to your friends that you have an eating disorder but being afraid they won’t understand how selective eating is different from anorexia or bulimia

knowing your diet is garbage but not being able to change anything

“You should just eat what’s on your plate! Be grateful you have anything to eat at all!”

being guilt-tripped for not finishing your food because “other people can’t even afford a full meal”

feeling guilty for wasting food you couldn’t eat because it costs money

you come to hate the term “picky eater” because it’s been used derogatorily against you for years by people who don’t understand

bread

so much bread

but only specific kinds of bread

trying a new food for the first time in a while and tearing up because you just can’t manage to even chew it because of the taste or texture or color

trying a new food for the first time in a while and tearing up because thank god I finally found something new that I can actually eat

trying a new food for the first time and getting sick from it even though you could eat it because your body is so unused to new foods

“You should eat healthier!”

hearing people talk about food and how “everyone loves to eat!” and sitting there awkwardly because you know that’s not true

going to bed hungry because you couldn’t stomach much food but now you can’t sleep because you’re too hungry

trying soylent but being unable to stand the flavor of it

worrying about your nutrition because all you eat is carbs

literally having panic attacks when forced to eat something repulsive to you

wondering what the hell is wrong with you and why you can’t just EAT the damn vegetable

never telling anyone because the few people you’ve told don’t understand and it seems like no one ever will

finally learning that selective eating disorder/avoidant restrictive food intake disorder is a thing

but learning it’s so understudied that no one has any idea what causes it or how to treat it

For years I’ve thought there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t eat like normal people, for years I thought I was a freak for not being able to eat certain foods.