alunsina

Curled up in the middle of your bed, his tail thumping against the bedding with his ears down. You would think him sleeping if his tail wasn’t moving so much, clearly restraining himself from getting up and going straight to you. Like he usually does whenever you come home from work, but instead he’s got his face in his arms, almost in a fetal position in the middle of the bed, clutching a pillow to his stomach. 

“Seungie?” You call out as you walk in. He doesn’t move but his tail does wag against the bed. If he’s upset he’s doing a rather poor job of being convincing. You walk further into the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Heeseung’s ears twitch against the top of his head and you can’t stop yourself from reaching out and petting them. They twitch again, Heeseung tilting his head slightly into the palm of your hand. “Do you not feel well?” You ask, running your fingers through his hair, rubbing your fingertips against the base of his ear. 

He whines, ears twitching, tail flickering out against the bedding. You push off from the floor to lie down beside him on the edge of the bed, propping your head up in your hand, changing hands to pet him with your free one. Your fingers sink into his soft hair, scritching your nails up and down his scalp. He whines again, finally lifting his head just enough that you can see his big brown eyes staring at you over the top of his arms. 

“Who’s my good boy?” You tease him. He ducks his head again, but his tail is going wild, thumping and wagging against the bedding. “You’re my good boy,” you tell him, leaning forward to kiss the top of his head. “Why’s my good boy upset?” You ask, resting your cheek against the top of his head, still running your fingers through the back of his hair. “What’s wrong?” 

He mumbles unintelligibly into his arms, making you frown. You pull back, letting him lift his head again. This time he stretches out, all long limbs and toned physique, only to throw the pillow to the top of the bed and gather you in his arms. You laugh as he curls himself around you like you’re his own personal body pillow, his legs around your thighs, his tag swishing over your knees. His face ends up in your neck with his arms around your waist. 

“Heeseung,” you giggle. “What is it, baby? What’s wrong?” You coo, gently petting your hands through his hair again, scratching at the base of his ears. They’re still flattened against his head, he’s clearly still upset about something. 

“You’re getting another hybrid?” He mumbles into your neck and you sigh. “I saw the papers in your office. You’re getting another one?” 

“Maybe,” you agree and Heeseung harrumphs, his tail retreating to tuck back by his legs. “Hey.” You tug gently on his hair to get him to pull away from your neck. His big brown eyes and pouting lips break your heart, they always do. He knows it too, whenever he wants something all he has to do is make that face at you and you’re crumbling, weak at the knees and completely unable to say no. “I haven’t decided anything.” 

“Then don’t get one,” he says simply and you sigh. 

“You don’t want a friend?” He pouts dramatically, making you laugh. “C’mon, you’re home alone all the time. Don’t you want a friend to spend time with? Someone you can play with when I’m not here?” You run your fingers through his hair gently, rubbing your fingertips up and down his ears. His eyes flutter closed, leaning his head into your hands. “You know I’ve been so busy with this promotion and they want me to go on all these business trips. I don’t like the idea of leaving you here alone, by yourself. You’ll be so lonely without me.”

It’s been eating at you, the idea of leaving Heeseung alone all the time. It really bothers you because when you first got Heeseung you had so much more free time on your hands. You were only a mid level manager at your company, had just gotten out of a relationship and you just wanted a companion. And Heeseung was a perfect fit. 

He’s a German Shepherd hybrid, which seemed so perfect to you. He’s energetic and loyal and sweet and loves affection. After the initial getting-to-know-you period, the two of you just got each other. And while he was so cute when you first got him, he’s only gotten more handsome and affectionate with you. You have a close relationship, closer even than some other people with their hybrids. You and Heeseung are each other’s best friend, which is why it absolutely breaks your heart that he’s been spending so much time alone these days.

When you confided in your coworker about it she suggested getting him a friend and that seemed like a great idea! German Shepherds are supposed to be really good with other animals, you thought that getting him someone to spend his days with would surely help whenever he was home, by himself, feeling lonely. You just wanted him to not be so alone, but clearly, that wasn’t as good of an idea as you thought. You were, admittedly, planning on trying to warm him up to the idea, but it’s too late for that now. In retrospect, you should’ve kept those hybrid papers hidden where Heeseung couldn’t find them, but you didn’t think he’d react like this. 

“I could go with you,” he mumbles. 

“You know that’s not practical.” 

You could take Heeseung on some of these trips, you work for a hotel company after all, and you’ve taken him before, going out and visiting locations wouldn’t be so bad with him when it comes to local locations. But you know how uncomfortable it is for him to fly. He hates flying, the way the air pressure irritates his ears, the way security is so weird and judgemental of him, the way that you have to put a tagged collar on him (government requirements) when you’re going overseas. It’s horrible, truly it would be worse for him than if you just let him stay home. 

He doesn’t offer anything else, instead curling into your neck again. You pet through his hair, knowing that he just wants to be held for a little while. You have a feeling that he’s only being like this because it’s just been the two of you for such a long time, the idea of sharing you doesn’t sit very well with him. You haven’t even had a significant other since you got Heeseung (not that he helps, with the way that he either glares or growls at every man who comes near you when you go out together), which means he hasn’t had to share you with anyone other than your family and friends. Your family, who hardly ever visits, and your friends, who dote on him so much it sometimes makes you a little bit jealous. 

Ultimately, you know that you’re Heeseung’s person, but it would be good for him to get to spend time with someone else. For him to have a friend just for him. 

That night you end up scrolling through the local shelter’s pages on your phone, Heeseung wrapped around you, grumbling the whole time. He’s reluctant to agree but leaving him alone just isn’t an option. You can feel him growling into your throat while you go through the pages, trying to figure out what might work best for the two of you. You are not unaware of the possessive hold Heeseung has on you, arms tight around your waist while you lie in bed, his face halfway in your neck. 

“You won’t do well with another dog,” you mumble to yourself. Heeseung growls lowly. “Be good,” you tell him, lifting a hand to pet his head. He tucks his face into your neck again. “I guess… maybe a cat?” 

“No,” he whines. “They’re so petty and mean.” You run your fingers through his hair, soothing him. “I’ll be good if you get another dog. I promise,” he tries to assure you, nuzzling into the side of your neck.

“You don’t even like normal men. What makes you think I can bring another dog into this house?” You tease him. You’re only half joking, Heeseung might eventually warm up to another dog, but you’d really rather not take the chance. Another possessive, territorial dog in your house? Bad idea. He whines emphatically, ears flat against his head, tail swishing around erratically. You take your hand away from his hair to instead pat his tail, which goes still against your thigh. “Let’s just look at the cat hybrids, okay? You never know.” 

“Fine,” he grumbles, hooking his chin over your shoulder. You bring your hand back up to his head, scratching at his ears as you filter your search to look at the cats. 

There are a fair amount of cats in the listings, though most hybrid shelters are pretty well stocked. For a long time, hybrids were only available from labs where they were bred but, unsurprisingly, people started to view hybrids as disposable and replaceable. Hybrids that are undesirable for any reason, from their aesthetics to their personalities, are dropped off at shelters all over the city, which means many of them are nearly bursting. You got Heeseung at a shelter and you intend to do the same thing that you did for him for whoever you bring home next, and that’s give them a loving home that they deserve. 

It’s not going to be easy, they might have behavioral issues (Heeseung was incredibly shy when you first brought him home but now he’s nothing less than a cuddle bug; you can’t get him to leave you alone) but that’s part of the deal. 

Unsurprisingly, a lot of the cat hybrids you see are girls. A lot of cat hybrids are women, specifically bred for their sexy, coy personality, and you don’t mind the idea of female hybrids at all. At least, for other people. You don’t like the idea of sharing Heeseung with a female hybrid, as much as you hate to admit it to yourself. Maybe it’s selfish, but also with the way Heeseung doesn’t like you being around men, you think it’s only fair that you have some reservations against the idea of leaving Heeseung alone with a woman for long stretches of time. No, you’d prefer if his playmate was also a boy, so you find yourself scrolling through them quickly. 

Eventually, you do end up changing the filter just to make it easier on you. Heeseung laughs softly into your neck when you do. You pull his hair, making him whimper into your shoulder. You look at him from the corner of your eye, watching as Heeseung nips softly at your shoulder, not hard enough to really hurt but definitely to tease you. 

“Hush you,” you tell him. He nuzzles against your neck as you reload the pages, hopeful that you might find something now. 

It doesn’t take long for you to pause when you see one that catches your eye. Your hand pauses through your scrolling to look closer at the cat hybrid listed on the screen. 

Riki is the name underneath the photo of the cat hybrid. He’s very pretty, is the first thing you notice, but the second thing that catches your attention is that he’s a male tortoiseshell. Male tortoiseshell cats are rare, you can only imagine how rare a hybrid of one must be. You end up clicking it, Heeseung humming into your shoulder as you go through the profile. 

He’s young, only 18, and he’s been at the shelter for less than a year. He might still have a few behavioral issues being there such a short time, but that’s alright, you don’t mind. Besides, it’s so hard not to be taken with him. His hair is pitch black but his ears, though also black, are splotched with patches of silver and tan. Even in all the photos they’ve taken of him he seems uninterested in looking directly into the camera but you can see that his eyes are two different colors, one a dark brown, the other an icy blue shade. 

You check the information in his profile, thankful to see that they noted that he does well with dogs and dog hybrids as well as children. He has a stand-off-ish personality and that he tends to keep to himself. It notes that he’s very affectionate with his handlers and people and hybrids that he has a strong bond with. You shift to look at Heeseung, who’s not looking at you at all. 

“What do you think?” You ask, showing him the phone. Heeseung harrumphs noncommittally, staring off to the side rather than meeting your gaze or looking at the phone. “Seungie,” you insist but he doesn’t even glance. “Seungie, c’mon, I can’t do this without you. If you don’t like him, you can just say that. I won’t be upset.” 

“You like him,” he mumbles. “If you like him, what does it matter what I think?” 

“Because he’s not going to be my playmate, he’s going to be yours,” you reason. You lock your phone, reaching over to set it on the nightstand. You roll over in his arms to face him, Heeseung pulling back a bit to let you. He still doesn’t look at you, ears flattened against his head as he stares down at the bedding. You gently take his jaw between your hands, tilting his head up. 

His big brown eyes stare into yours, lips slightly pursed in a pout. You stroke your thumbs over his jawline, tilting your head at him. His tail swishes over your thigh, his ears slowly perking up at the top of his head. You lean forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead and then his cheeks. You drop a kiss to the tip of his nose and over his eyelids, Heeseung nuzzling his nose against yours sweetly. When you kiss him on the lips Heeseung squeezes you around your waist, pulling you up against him. 

You are far from the first and only person who has fallen for their hybrid. Hybrids are companions, at their very root, whether it be platonic, romantic or sexual. They fill the gaps for people that are lonely or just unfulfilled in their lives. People have done terrible things to their hybrids, this is true, but Heeseung is one of the most special people in the world to you. He’s not just a companion or a “pet,” he’s someone you care deeply and truly about. And while you might be thinking about bringing another one into your home, for Heeseung more than anything, that doesn’t mean he’ll mean any less to you. 

Maybe this is the one thing you have to convince him of. 

“I love you,” you whisper into his lips, and his tail swishes around wildly, a manifestation of his happiness. For all that Heeseung tries to come across as relaxed and aloof around others, you know very well that he’s not. He can’t control his tail at all, the way his big fluffy tail will wriggle around excitedly whenever you do anything that makes him happy. 

“I love you,” he replies, nuzzling against your face meaningfully. His hands paw at your back, almost like he’s trying to climb into your skin, wriggling around in your arms with thinly veiled excitement. He whines when you don’t kiss him again, bumping his nose into yours pointedly. You giggle, making him whine again, frustrated at the way you’re not showering him with affection. You kiss him again, and again, and again, peppering kisses all over his face. All the dog-like things about him come out when he’s happy like this, chasing your mouth so he can lick at your lips messily, still tugging at your shirt in the back, pressing himself against you like he’s trying to smother you with his body. 

“Okay, okay,” you giggle, trying to get him off of you but, unlike a dog, Heeseung is a lot bigger and stronger than you. He rolls the two of you over, all but smothering you underneath him like an oversized lap dog. He tucks his face into your neck, nuzzling and licking and kissing your skin, even nipping at the skin like a teething puppy, making you whine. “Seungie, c’mon. Down! Down, boy!” 

“No,” he whines into your neck. “Wanna be closer,” Heeseung mumbles into your skin. 

“You cannot be physically closer to me,” you tell him, only for his hands to push up underneath your shirt. “Seungie, no,” you tell him but it lacks conviction. You always lack conviction when you tell Heeseung no, it’s the worst thing about him. Telling him no is so hard because all he has to do is flash his big eyes at you and you’re like putty in his hands. “Seungie, down! I mean it,” you warn him.

Reluctantly, he pulls back, meeting your gaze with his big puppy eyes. You sigh to yourself, finding yourself with a lap full of hybrid. He’s still on top of you, straddling you with his knees on either side of your thighs, hands pressing against your stomach. You run your hands through his hair, smiling gently up at him. When you scratch at his ears again his eyes close, tilting his head into your hand. He’s so easy, you know all the right places to make him melt for you, tail swishing in the air, ear twitching against your fingertips. 

“You know you’re my good boy,” you tell him and he nods, eyes still closed. “And that’s not going to change even if I bring someone new home. I promise.” His eyes slide open, tilting his head out of your hand to look at you. “I know I’m your person, but I want you to have someone other than me to spend time with. I don’t want you to be lonely while I’m gone. You understand, right?” 

“I know,” he agrees. “I’m just not used to sharing you,” he admits, toying with the hem of your shirt. 

“I know,” you tell him, “and I’m not used to sharing you either. I’m still trying to get used to the idea of having someone else in the apartment myself,” you admit. Heeseung meets your gaze hesitantly, eyes wide and nervous. You push his hair out of his face, cupping your hand around the back of his head to bring him down towards you. You press a kiss to his forehead, smiling softly. “We’re gonna figure it out together, okay?” 

The shelter lets you see Riki that very weekend, suggesting that you come alone for the first time. Heeseung is reluctant to let you go by yourself, not liking that you’re going to be leaving him by himself on a weekend. You assure him it won’t be longer than a couple of hours, you’ll be home soon and kiss him sweetly before going out.

The shelter employees greet you at the front desk, happy to take you to his room to meet him. Hybrid shelters run similar to hotels or institutions, with every hybrid only rooming with one other hybrid or possibly by themself if they’re not very good with others. The employee who meets you to take you to meet him informs you that Riki is in a room by himself, but only because his roommate was recently adopted out, so they haven’t had a chance to fill the bed yet. It puts you at ease though, knowing that you’ll be meeting Riki by himself and not with anyone else around. 

The employee you’re with knocks on the door gently, listening for Riki to call out to them. She gently opens the door, leaning in with a smile. You hesitate at the doorway, waiting for them to let you go in to see him. 

The last time you came to a shelter was a long time ago after all, and Heeseung took a long time to get used to you. He was really shy, to the point that he wouldn’t even get off of his bed to greet you when you showed up the first time, cowering in the corner. You went to see him at the shelter four times before you started the adoption process, to make sure Heeseung would be happy with you. He is, obviously, very happy, but you worried about spooking him or making him uncomfortable with the sudden change. You’re not sure what to expect from Riki, especially since he hasn’t been here very long. 

“You remember I told you you had a visitor scheduled for today, right?” The employee says and he hums in agreement. “Is it okay if she comes in?” She asks and he hums in agreement. You can’t see him but she leans back out with a small smile. “You can come in,” she says and you take a deep breath before stepping into the room. 

Riki is even more handsome in person, all long limbed and toned physique, not at all unlike Heeseung. He’s sitting at the head of his bed, head tilted slightly down towards the notebook he has in hand. You take a second to admire him, noting the coloration on his ears and tail, both of which are tufted with long hair, black but spotted with silver and tan splotches, his tail swinging where it hangs over the edge of his bed. The colored patches match the patches of lighter colored skin on his hands, wrists and up his forearms, contrasting against the golden tone of the rest of it. You wonder if it’s a result of his breeding but your attention is immediately taken when he lifts his head, meeting your gaze. 

His eyes are piercing, narrow with long lashes. It’s even harder to take your eyes away from them in person though, one eye a dark coffee brown while the other is an icy, sky blue shade. His expression is blank, but his features are angular and strong, making you feel a little intimidated anyway. Heeseung’s resting face is much the same though so you try to reassure yourself that it might just be the way he looks. 

When you can find it in yourself to look away from him, you walk around the employee to sit on the edge of the empty bed, across from him. The room isn’t very big, not much larger than a double at a hotel, with an attached bathroom. It seems comfortable but hardly homey, painted in shades of beige and white with threadbare carpeting. Still, from what you remember, it’s better than the one Heeseung was kept it. It makes you feel a little more comfortable as you meet Riki’s gaze once more. 

“Hi,” you greet him and he nods at you. Clearly he’s of few words, which is fine. “I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.” 

“You too,” he mumbles. His voice is deeper than you were expecting, but it’s soft, almost velvety. You smile gently at him, setting your bag down on the floor. 

“So, Riki⁠—” 

“You can sit closer if you want,” he interrupts you, and your eyes widen. You glance at the employee but she simply nods. “Only if you want to, it’s not a big deal,” he mumbles, turning back to his notebook. 

“Okay,” you agree. You stand up and cross the room, sitting on the end of his bed. You don’t want to invade his space too much, it seems rude to do so, leaving plenty of space between the two of you. Still, you’re turned towards him, which allows his tail to swing out and brush against your ankle. “So, Riki, what’re you working on?” 

“I like to write music in my spare time.” Your eyes brighten. “When I have free time I go to the music room and work on some stuff.” 

“My hybrid at home also likes to work on music,” you tell him and Riki slowly lifts his gaze back up from his notebook. “He has a whole production set up. It’s something he really likes to do.” 

“Is he… also a cat?” He asks. You can’t help but notice the way his tail swings a little faster, brushing against your ankle more frequently. You think he’s not aware he’s doing it. 

“No, he’s a dog,” you inform him. Riki lifts a brow at you. “He’s a German Shepherd hybrid, his name is Heeseung. He’s older than you, I’ve had him for a few years now.” His expression evens out again and he nods, almost as if to himself. “I can bring him next time, if you want to meet him.” 

“Okay,” he agrees. “Can I ask you something?” he asks, straightening up a bit, closing his notebook. 

“Of course you can.” 

“If you already have a hybrid, why do you want another one?” He asks. You resist the urge to glance at the employee, you don’t want any help here. It’s a fair question, of course Riki might want to know why you need more than one hybrid. Especially since you came here alone. 

“Well, to be honest, I work a lot,” you admit to him and Riki nods. “I have this job that requires me to be out of the house during the week and, pretty soon, I’ll have to start going out of the country for business trips. And I know that Heeseung, my hybrid, he’s going to be very lonely without me. And that really breaks my heart. So I wanted him to have someone he can spend time with while I’m not there. I don’t want him to be lonely.” 

“Is that all?” Riki asks and you tilt your head at him. “You just want your hybrid to have a playmate? Do you even really want another hybrid?” 

“Riki,” the employee says, admonishing him. Riki sighs, looking away from the both of you, opening his notebook again. You chew on the corner of your lip, debating what to say. It’s obvious that Riki is stand-off-ish for a reason.

It’s no secret that a lot of hybrids that end up in shelters are there because they were abandoned. Left behind either at the door, on the street or in houses when the rest of the family left. It’s heartbreaking, you can’t imagine how difficult it must’ve been for Riki to feel so used and discarded when he ended up here. You don’t want him to feel like that because while, yes, you did plan to get another hybrid for Heeseung that doesn’t mean you won’t care for him. That you won’t love him. 

“I did plan on getting another hybrid for Heeseung, this is true,” you tell him and Riki huffs softly, scribbling in his notebook. “But that doesn’t mean that I won’t care about you. Just because I’m getting another hybrid because I don’t want him to be lonely, doesn’t mean that that’s the only reason for you to be there. I thought about it a lot, and I never would’ve done this on a whim. And I understand that you must feel lonely and abandoned right now, but I promise that I wouldn’t do that to you.” 

“That’s what they all say,” Riki mumbles. 

“I know,” you agree. “Humans have a habit of that. But if I take you home, I promise I won’t bring you back. I wouldn’t do that to you, Riki. It breaks my heart to even think about the way you must’ve been treated.” You gently rest a hand on his knee. “It’s okay if you don’t believe me, and it’s okay if you don’t want to see me anymore. But I would like very much to keep getting to know you.” 

Riki doesn’t respond and you get up from the bed. You pick up your bag, hanging it on your shoulder. 

“I won’t overstay my welcome,” you tell him. “Think it over?” You offer. He doesn’t meet your eye but he does nod once, slowly. You turn to the employee, who sighs heavily and then leads you from the room. You pause in the doorway, looking back at him. “Goodbye, Riki.” 

He simply hums, nodding in your direction. You step out of the room and the employee closes the door behind you. 

“I’m sorry,” she says immediately but you simply shake your head at her. “He’s not usually like that. He’s usually a lot more… friendly, I guess. You might’ve just seen him on a bad day.” 

“It’s okay,” you tell him. “I know how it can be. They don’t have easy lives and I don’t want him to feel pressured or crowded. It’s really okay.” She nods in agreement and then gestures down the hall. You follow her as she leads you back towards the front of the facility, trying not to feel too disappointed. 

You didn’t expect Riki to take to you immediately, but you were hoping for a little warmer reception than that. It sits with you, as you leave, on the drive home, even when you part in your apartment complex’s lot, staying in the car a little longer to let it settle over you. You try not to let it get to you, maybe he just needs some time. You and Heeseung, while you did click, it took a long time for you to bring him home. It’s frustrating, you were taken with Riki from the moment you saw his photo but clearly that might not be the case for him. You were really hoping but maybe this just isn’t meant to be. 

You drag yourself from your car and into your apartment. Heeseung is in the living room, like he didn’t move an inch in the time you’ve been gone, lying on the sofa watching something on the television. You toe off your shoes, letting your bag land on the floor while he sits up immediately. His ears are perked up, his eyes focused on you as you get closer. 

You climb into his lap as soon as you’re close enough, Heeseung immediately wrapping himself around you. The two of you tip over onto the couch, Heeseung’s face in your neck. You run your fingers through his hair, his tail curling around your thigh as he begins to nuzzle your throat, kissing and licking at your skin. It tickles but you don’t mind, tilting your head to the side to give him the room. 

“It didn’t go well?” He rumbles into your neck. 

“I’m not sure,” you admit. “I think he just needs some time. We’ll see.” 

You try not to let it bother you and continue on with your life as best you can. It’s pretty common practice that, since hybrids are hardly any different from humans, the second time you meet them will be facilitated by the shelter itself and the hybrid makes that decision. So you try, as hard as you can, to not think too hard about whether or not you’ll get a call back from the shelter. The ball is in Riki’s court now, you don’t have a choice except to bide your time and hope that maybe you made an impression on him. Maybe, while his distrust in humans is very understandable, he will see your earnest interest and want to meet you again. 

You keep your phone on you all the time, you don’t even go to meetings without it with you, which is very unprofessional but you don’t have a choice. They could call at any time and you don’t want to miss it. You sit through meetings, trying to pretend your phone isn’t burning a hole in your work bag and you’re paying attention even though your mind keeps slinking away from you and back to Riki. 

Really, more than anything, it sits with you that he doesn’t trust you. You couldn’t expect him to, not at all, but the fact that he’s so distrustful of humans. That he took your interest in such a way, assuming that just because you wanted him to spend time with Heeseung that was his only reason for being there, that you could easily forget about him, well, it just breaks your heart. You can’t imagine the way he was treated that he really thinks that he’s simply just there as decoration for the hybrid you really care about if you were to take him home. 

If you get the chance, you’re going to shower him with affection. Just the same as you have for Heeseung. 

Almost a week goes by, you and Heeseung have resorted to looking at other shelters to see if there are other options for adoption, when you finally get a call. You’re sitting at your desk when your cell phone starts ringing, which causes you to shoot your hand out to pick it up. All week long you’ve been answering calls like this, impeccably disappointed when it isn’t what you were hoping for.

“Hello?” 

“Hello, is this Miss. Y/N?”

“This is she.”

“Hi, this is Sakura from the Seoul City Hybrid Shelter. I’m just calling about your interest in one of our hybrids, Riki?” 

“Yes,” you agree, leaning back in your chair, clutching your phone much tighter than you thought you would be. “I’m so glad to hear back from you.” 

“Oh good! So you’re still interested?” 

“Yes, absolutely,” you confirm. 

“Wonderful! I was actually calling to see if you’d like to set up another appointment to meet with him.” 

You’re not sure who’s more nervous when you go back to the shelter the coming weekend, you or Heeseung. When you park in the lot, Heeseung is still fidgeting in his seat. His tail won’t stop whipping around his thigh, anxious energy practically radiating off of him. Add to that the fact that he’s wearing his collar, which he won’t stop fidgeting with, and the constant flickering of his ears, you have no doubts he’s feeling stressed. You reach over to stop him from playing with his collar, Heeseung pouting at you as you reach up to adjust it. 

“I didn’t put it on too tight, did I?” You ask, trying to adjust it. 

“No,” he says, shaking his head. There’s plenty of room between the collar and his neck, you can fit two of your fingers between them. It’s his day collar, it’s less obvious than the one he has to where whenever you take him overseas (it’s practically a dog collar with a buckle and a tag and everything, you hate it almost as much as Heeseung, having to tag him like he’s an animal) but you don’t love having to mark him like this. Still, it’s safer to take him out of the house with some kind of owning indicator than to not, even if he hardly ever leaves your side. 

“You okay?” You ask, gently touching his cheek. 

“Yeah,” he agrees but his eyes are darting around anxiously. You press a soft kiss to his cheek, moving your hand up to his hair, scratching at his ears. His ears immediately relax, no longer twitching down, trying to flatten against the top of his head, instead perking up properly. He turns his head towards you and kisses you, chasing your lips when you try to pull away. You indulge him for a moment, letting him nuzzle your cheek as you scratch his head, giggling when he whines when you pull away. 

“Be good,” you tell him. He harrumphs, offended. You laugh as you unbuckle your seatbelt. 

“I’m always good,” he informs you. You lift a brow making him grin at you. You climb out of the car, Heeseung quickly following after you. 

Sakura, the woman who called and who took you to meet Riki the first time, greets you, meeting Heeseung happily. You take Heeseung’s hand in yours, already noticing that Heeseung is happy that it’s a woman that’s greeting the two of you, his tail wagging away. She guides the two of you further into the facility, a little more familiar to you now as you head towards Riki’s room. 

“Riki still doesn’t have a roommate. We’ve gotten a handful of other hybrids recently, but they’re mostly rodents and what have you. We didn’t want to pair them in case they might find rooming with a cat hybrid unsettling, so he’s still rooming by himself.” You frown to yourself, disappointed that he might be lonely. “Just here,” she says, stopping in front of the room. 

She does the same thing as before, knocking softly, waiting for Riki to answer back. When he does she gently pushes the door open, leaning into the room. 

“Someone came back to see you! And she brought a friend,” Sakura tells him cheerily. Heeseung hesitates at the doorway while you step in, smiling at the cat hybrid. 

“Hey, Riki,” you greet him. He’s curled up in the corner of his room, sitting against the headboard of his bed again. His notebook is in his lap still. He looks at you, blinking slowly at you. You blink slowly back, Riki staring at you curiously. “Thank you for inviting me back. I brought my hybrid, like I told you I would,” you tell him. You look back, Heeseung leaning in the doorway slightly. “Seungie, you can come in,” you tell him, waving him over. 

Riki perks up slightly as Heeseung walks in, ears up, eyes wide. He watches Heeseung with alert, bright eyes, watching as he comes further into the room. His tail swings back and forth where it hangs over the edge of the bed, Heeseung immediately clinging to you as soon as he’s in the room. You gently pet Heeseung’s head, Heeseung trying to hide behind you despite the fact that you’re slighter and shorter than him. 

“Why are you being so shy?” You giggle, looking over your shoulder at him. “You can say hi.” He shakes his head, holding tightly to your hand while Riki watches Heeseung with big eyes. “Yah, you’re not usually like this,” you comment, scratching your fingers against the base of his ears. 

“Y/N said you like making music,” Riki says, and Heeseung hesitantly lifts his head to meet his gaze. You drop your hand from his head, nodding encouragingly. Heeseung slips out from behind you a little bit, nodding in agreement. “She said you have a production set up at your place. Is that true?” 

“Yeah…” Heeseung mumbles. “It’s something I like to do in my spare time. Y’know… when Y/N noona’s at work.” Riki nods in understanding. “I can show it to you, if you want.” 

“Is that your collar?” Riki says and Heeseung brings his free hand up to his throat. “Do you have to wear it all the time?” 

“No,” Heeseung says with a light laugh. “Only when I leave the house. It’s really comfortable,” he says, hooking a finger through it to show Riki how loose it is. “Noona has a different one that I have to wear when we go overseas but that’s the only time I wear it. I really hate it and she really hates putting it on me.” You frown reflexively, just thinking about it, not noticing the look Riki shoots you.

“Can I… talk to Heeseung alone?” Riki asks. Heeseung looks at you with wide eyes and you look at Sakura, who shrugs. 

“If you’re okay with it,” she says. 

“If you’re okay with it,” you tell Heeseung. 

“Yeah, I’m okay with it,” he agrees. Sakura steps around you to walk out of the room. You squeeze Heeseung’s hand gently, smiling at him. 

“We’ll be right outside,” you assure him and he nods. You smile at Riki, who nods at you, then step out as well. Sakura gently closes the door behind the two of you, leaving Heeseung inside with Riki. 

Heeseung fidgets with his fingers, moving to sit on the bed opposite Riki. His tail swings around anxiously, his ears flattening against the top of his head. Riki closes his notebook, setting it on his bedside table, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. Heeseung watches him, keeping a close eye on Riki’s body language but he doesn’t move other than to face Heeseung. Riki curls his fingers over the edge of the bed, leaning towards Heeseung. 

“Were you a shelter hybrid too?” He asks and Heeseung nods. “How long ago?” 

“Uhm… four years ago?” He says. “Almost four years ago,” he corrects himself, lifting a hand to run it through his hair.

“And you’ve been living with her this whole time?” Heeseung's brow creases in confusion at the way Riki phrases it. 

“Yeah, of course. Where else would I be living if not with her?” He asks and Riki shifts awkwardly, staring at the ground. “Look, I know what it’s like to be a shelter hybrid. I know how scary it is. But I’ve been living with Y/N noona this whole time and she takes really good care of me. You’d be lucky to get to live with her.” 

“That’s what all hybrids say,” Riki mumbles, shrugging his shoulders. 

“I mean it,” Heeseung insists. Riki glances up at him from the way he says it. “You’re really lucky that she wants to adopt you. To be honest, I didn’t want her to,” he admits, leaning back on the empty bed. Riki watches as Heeseung shifts, ears lifting, tail swishing around casually. His gaze lifts towards the ceiling in thought. “I’m really protective over noona. She means a lot to me. I don’t really want to share her with anyone.” His eyes drop back to Riki. “But she really wants me to be happy, and since she’s going to be going on trips a lot, she wants me to have someone to spend time with. And you know, as much as I don’t like sharing her, I know she’d make sure you’re happy too.” 

“You don’t like me,” Riki points out, a tad bit defensive.  

“I don’t know you,” Heeseung grunts out. “I don’t like people I don’t know around her. It bothers me.” His tone drops, going thick and graveling as he says it, almost threatening. Riki swallows, a little bit intimidated by Heeseung when he speaks like that, eyes darting back towards the floor. “But she likes you,” he adds, tone lifting in consideration, “so I’m willing to get to know you. I could like you, I think.” 

Riki nods to himself, thinking it over. 

“But none of this is going to work if you don’t try to like her,” Heeseung points out. “I know you don’t trust her, and I don’t blame you. I can only imagine what you’ve gone through.” Riki’s eyes don’t leave the floor. “But you can’t spend the rest of your life in here. Trust me, it’s no way to live. But noona? If you just give her a chance you’re going to be one the happiest hybrids in the world.” 

“Are you?” Riki asks, lifting his haze hesitantly.

“Yeah,” Heeseung agrees, with a grin.

“And this is your room,” you tell Riki the first day he comes home. He hesitates behind you, peering in around your shoulder. “It’s pretty sparse right now, but we can fill it with things later. There’s a desk and a dresser, your bed and a closet in the corner,” you point out. You turn to him with a smile. “If you want, you can settle in today and we can worry about everything else later.” 

“Everything else… like… what?” Riki asks, tilting his head at you. 

“Well, you’ll need clothes, right?” You laugh softly. “And bedding, your own toiletries, things like that. And we can find you a collar, if you want.” You resist the urge to touch him like you would Heeseung, still unsure how he would respond to that. Riki doesn’t seem to mind when you touch him casually, but some hybrids are more private about things like their ears and tails, intimate touches like their face and neck. Instead you slide your hands in your back pockets to keep your hands away. “We’ll have to get you a tagged collar in the future but there’s no rush for that,” you tell him, shaking your head. 

“I would be okay with a collar like Heeseung’s,” Riki tells you and you nod in understanding. 

“I can do that,” you assure him. “But like I said, we can wait. You probably want to just rest for a while. It’s been a long day.” 

The shelter isn’t terribly far but Riki did have to pack up all of his few belongings at the shelter and say goodbye to all of his friends and the staff. You had a lot of paperwork to sign to finally get to bring him home and you’re feeling pretty drained yourself. More than anything, holding yourself back from doting on Riki is taking more emotional labor than you expected, too familiar with the way Heeseung will practically jump into your arms at a moment’s notice. 

You’ll both need time, you’re still trying to deal with that. 

“Yeah, it has,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair. You nod in agreement. “It’s okay if I just hang out for the day?” He asks and you nod again. 

“Of course it is,” you assure him. “I’ll probably order in for dinner. Anything in particular you like to eat?” 

“Chicken?” He suggests making you grin. 

“I can make that happen. Get some rest, Riki,” you tell him, patting him on the arm. He nods to you, slipping around you into his room. He gently closes the door behind him, and you deflate slightly. 

Heeseung is in the bedroom, unsurprisingly, curled up in the middle of the bed. He’s half dozing, as he tends to do during the day. The middle of the day is prime naptime for him so you come into the room and immediately lay down beside him. He gathers you up reflexively, curling around you like second nature, snuggling into you. You close your eyes as he rests his head on your shoulder, wrapped around you like a snake. You run your fingers through his hair, relaxing into his hold. 

“He’s home?” Heeseung mumbles into your shoulder. 

“Yeah, he’s home,” you agree. 

You end up dozing off in Heeseung’s arms, as you tend to do if there’s nothing pressing happening around you and you have some spare time. It’s hard to not, Heeseung’s like a portable heater, so warm and cozy when he holds you against him, his face nestled in the crook of your neck. It’s so easy to just fall asleep for a little while, especially when you’ve been so busy and anxious as of late. 

Between work, which is trying to gently but firmly press you to get your life in order so you can start participating in these business trips, and preparing for Riki to move in with you, you’ve been everywhere all at once. The room that is now Riki’s bedroom was your office, which you relocated to a corner of your bedroom. Every time you’ve turned around lately something at work has tried to break or there’s been a mistake that you have to try and make a million phone calls to fix. You read every article under the sun about caring for a cat hybrid, which Heeseung definitely made fun of you for, insisting that you haven’t killed him yet, so it’s fine. Still, you can’t help but be stressed, especially because you’re trying not to be stressed so Riki doesn’t feel stressed, which is only making things worse. 

Falling asleep with Heeseung is nothing less than a blessed reprieve from everything that’s been going on in your life as of late. 

When you wake up, you’re groggy, confused and alone. That bothers you more than anything, it’s rare that you wake up after Heeseung, as he has a tendency to sleep like, well, a dog. You run a hand through your hair, struggling your way out of the bed, trying to get your bearings. You stumble your way out of your bedroom, towards the living room, rubbing at your eyes. You’re disappointed but not surprised when you look out the window and see that the sun has begun to go down, painting the inside of your great room shades of orange and pink. 

“Sleep well?” Heeseung asks. You turn towards his voice to see him standing at the kitchen table with Riki. You blink slowly at them, Riki blinking slowly back. You walk further into the room, noticing the cardboard boxes all over the table. “I ordered dinner,” he informs you and you nod. 

“Heeseung hyung said it was okay,” Riki supplies and you nod again, still sleepy and not noticing the look Heeseung gives Riki.

“You got what Riki wanted, right?” You ask, walking past them to go to the kitchen. You pour yourself a glass of water while Heeseung and Riki have a silent conversation behind you with their eyes. 

“I did,” Heeseung assures you. “Are you hungry?” 

“Let me wake up a bit first. But you two should eat,” you tell him, sipping from your glass of water. 

“You’re sure?” Riki asks and you hum in agreement, still trying to rub the sleep out of your eyes. As nice as naps are, sometimes you wake up more tired than when you went to sleep. You don’t notice their silent conversation the entire time they’re getting something to eat, nor the glances Riki keeps sending you as you try to wake up. 

The following week you all try to settle into this new normal you’ve found yourselves in. The first couple days you take Riki out to get what he needs, fitting him with a day collar much like Heeseung’s (he chose a white collar with the silver ring in the middle, it suits him). When you’re preparing to go back to work you explain to him that he pretty much has the run of the place, just like Heeseung, more than welcome to pantry and refrigerator, this is his place now too. He looked uncomfortable but you suppose that’s probably due to the fact that this must be very different to what he’s used to. 

When you climb out of bed the first day going back to work after Riki’s homecoming, you go through your usual routine. Heeseung wakes up with you, despite you always telling him he doesn’t have to, and follows you around the house like a sleepy puppy. He’s barely awake, shuffling around behind you as you wash your face, get dressed, make yourself coffee, pack a lunch. When you pause to eat, Heeseung wraps himself around you from behind, face buried in your shoulder. You eat one handed while you pet him with the other. 

You look up when you hear the creak of a door in the hall, surprised to see Riki shuffling out into the great room. He rubs the sleep from his eyes for a moment and then looks up, only for his eyes to widen suddenly, ears and tail perking up in alarm. 

“Good morning,” you greet him and his expression slowly relaxes, as well as his ears and tail. “Do you want something to eat? Or there’s coffee,” you offer turning as best you can with your clinging German Shepherd attached to you. 

“Mm, coffee,” he agrees, voice low and gravely with sleep. He shuffles further forward, into the kitchen. You turn back to your breakfast, feeding Heeseung a strawberry when he opens his mouth over your shoulder. 

Riki sits down at the table with his mug of hot coffee while you struggle to put your dishes in the sink. Heeseung shuffles along with you, clingy as ever in the mornings. You’re more than used to his sleepy behavior, getting your things together and then going to the door with him still attached. You gently pry him off of you when you go to get your shoes on, Heeseung whining loudly about being forced to let go. 

“I have to go to work,” you remind him. He pouts in a truly devastating manner. He knows this is routine, he’s just being dramatic. Part of you thinks he was far too happy with the past few days you took off from work to bring Riki home because it gave you a reason to be home. You think briefly of taking an extended vacation soon, maybe taking the both of them somewhere nice for a little while. 

You put your shoes on right now though, hooking your work bag over your shoulder and turning back to him. You scratch at his ears, watching his eyes close and his head tilt into your hand, tail thumping away against the chair you keep by the entryway. You giggle, leaning up to kiss his cheek. 

“Be good,” you tell him and he nods in agreement. You look over at the table, where Riki seems to be staring into the middle distance, sipping his coffee. You step away from Heeseung and walk over to him, your heels clicking across your hardwood floor. You drop a hand on his shoulder, seemingly startling him out of whatever half-asleep reverie he was in, prompting him to look at you. “I’m going to work. I won’t be home until this evening. You remember what I said, right?” He simply hums, nodding. “Okay. Heeseung’ll be with you all day, call me if you need anything.” 

“I’ll be okay,” he assures you. 

“Okay.” You lift a hand, letting it hover for a second before just letting it drop by your side. Riki watches you do it with a blank expression, your hand sliding into the pocket of your slacks after a moment. “Have a good day.” 

“You too,” Riki replies. You turn away and head for the door. He watches Heeseung kiss your cheek, trying to cling to you as long as possible. You giggle, petting his head one more time and then turn slightly to wave at Riki. Riki lifts a hand at you and you slip out the door, the apartment door chiming to let them know it’s locked. 

To say you spend most of the day anxious would be a massive understatement. You spend the whole day glued to your phone, trembling with nervous energy. Logistically, you know that nothing is going to go wrong. Heeseung and Riki have already shown a real interest in each other, Heeseung’s not that much older than him and Riki’s not that young, he’s clearly very smart and capable. They are more than able to spend an entire day by themselves in the apartment, hell, that’s why you adopted Riki, so they would be together more often than not. Still, you can’t help the way you want to text Heeseung every five minutes to check on them (Riki still doesn’t have a phone, it was the one thing you weren’t able to get him in the past few days and now you’re regretting it) just to make sure everything is going well. 

“Just go check on them,” your coworker, Vernon, advises over lunch, leaning casually against your desk. Well, technically he’s your assistant but he doesn’t act like an assistant. He’s more of an annoying brother figure than anything else, tromping his way into your office in a moment’s notice without even asking or calling ahead. 

“I can’t,” you say, picking at your lunch, wishing you hadn’t remembered it just so you would have an excuse to go see them but… “I don’t want them to think I don’t trust them. It’s important that I don’t make Riki feel like I’m crowding him.” 

“God, it’s like you have a second child. I thought second kids were supposed to be easier,” Vernon comments and you cut him a look. 

A second child would probably give you less anxiety than an adopted hybrid, when you think about it. 

You’re out the door and in your car by the time five PM rolls around, already heading back to the apartment. You try to ignore the part of you that feels silly, like what could you honestly think would happen in the nine hours you’ve been out? They’re not children, they can handle themselves. Still, you feel some nerves trembling through you as the universe tests you by giving you every red light on your drive home.

You let yourself into your apartment, stopping in the entryway to take in the great room. The living room is empty, the kitchen and the dining room too, basically looking untouched. You walk further in, closing the door behind you as you toe off your shoes and put your work bag on the table, as you do every day, walking further into the kitchen. 

There are dishes in the sink upon closer inspection, so presumably they ate while you were gone, and you turn around when you hear the sound of approaching footsteps. Heeseung is right there, headed for the living room, like he does every day. However, he hesitates when he doesn’t see you at the door, having to sweep his gaze around to find you in the kitchen. 

“What’re you doing in the kitchen?” He asks, coming closer. 

“I dunno, I just…” you shrug casually, keys still in hand. 

“I made sure he ate,” Heeseung tells you, smiling gently. You sigh, knowing how he sees through you. You open your arms and Heeseung scurries right into them, curling over you as he does every day when you come home from work, breathing you in by shoving his face right into the crook of your neck. You pet his head while he nuzzles into your throat, hands pawing at your pantsuit jacket, acting yet again like he’s trying to crawl into your skin. “Missed you,” he mumbles, lips and tongue all over your neck. 

“Missed you,” you tell him. “Where’s Riki?” 

“In his room,” Heeseung mumbles into your skin. When you gently push him away he whines, trying to cling tighter to you. He nips at your neck, making you gasp. 

“Hey, no biting!” You remind him, half teasing. You gently push him away, cupping his face in your hand. “I’m gonna go check on Riki, then we’ll cuddle and think about dinner?” He nods. You drop a kiss on the tip of his nose, making his tail wag against your leg. “Go to the bedroom, I’ll be there in a minute.” 

While Heeseung retreats to the bedroom, you finally take off your jacket and put your keys where they’re supposed to go. You put your lunch things in the kitchen along with your thermos, then head further into the apartment. You knock gently on Riki’s bedroom door when you get there, listening for him. His soft voice calls out to you and you push the door open, leaning in to see him sitting on his bed. 

It’s like when you met him at the shelter, notebook in hand, curled up at the top of his bed, tail swinging over the edge of the bed. You walk into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed with him. He looks at you, blinking slowly and softly. You blink slowly and softly back, smiling gently at him. 

“How was your day?” You ask, bringing one of your own feet up onto the edge of the bed. 

“Good,” he replies. “Hyung showed me his production setup. It’s really cool,” he says, happiness bleeding into his tone, a little smile tugging at his lips. Riki doesn’t usually show a lot of emotion, at least not thus far, so it’s nice to see him happy about something. “We worked on some stuff today. He wanted to see what I’ve been working on. It was nice.” 

“Good, I’m glad,” you tell him. “Well, I just got home. Hee and I are gonna talk about dinner. Anything in particular you want?” You ask but he shakes his head. “Okay. Well, just let me know if you think of something.” He nods and you get up from the edge of his bed. “Alright.”

You put your hand on his shoulder again, like you did that morning, but before you can take it away, Riki tilts his head, gently knocking it against your arm. You’re surprised by the movement, trying to read it for what Riki isn’t saying. Hesitantly, you lift your hand from his shoulder, bringing it up to his head instead. Slowly, carefully, you run your fingers through his hair, scratching your nails along the base of one of his ears.

He tilts his head into your hand, and you watch as his body shifts almost entirely towards you. His head tilted, his eyes closed, tail swinging leisurely, shoulders relaxed with his body slightly turned in your direction. You’re gentle with his ears, running your fingers up and down them, letting your nails scratch along his scalp. His tail whips out towards you, brushing against your leg and you press your lips together to resist the urge to smile too widely. 

When you take your hand back, you let your hand linger but Riki pulls away from you, turning back to his notebook like nothing even happened. 

“You know where we’ll be,” you tell him, petting his hair once more. He hums in agreement and you head out, smiling to yourself as you go back to the bedroom, where you know a very pouty puppy is going to be waiting for you. 

You feel less stressed as the days pass by, going to work every morning with a kiss on Heeseung’s cheek and your fingers carding through Riki’s hair. He gets used to the affection, which is the least you were hoping for. You didn’t want to push him so it brings you a special sort of happiness to know that he wants it. You come home in the evenings to your two boys. Usually Heeseung is the one who greets you with over eager kisses but Riki will either be in his room or slink out to greet you as well with an innocent little headbutt into your shoulder. 

By the time the weekend rolls around you are, perhaps, a little too optimistic about how everything is going. Maybe that’s why you’re so willing to take the two of them out on Saturday, fitting their collars around their throats. Riki is, understandably, less comfortable with his than Heeseung so you try to make it as loose as possible without it coming off, not wanting it to hurt. 

There’s a shopping district you know particularly well, that doesn’t turn their nose up whenever you bring Heeseung with you, that you know has a store for your cell phone carrier in it. You plan on taking them there for the day, to get Riki the phone you’ve been meaning to get him, and also to just shop around. Heeseung is, as per usual, attached to you by the hip by the time you get there. So is Riki, but you know for a fact that there are different connotations to their eagerness to be close to you. 

“Do you wanna hold my hand?” You offer Riki when you notice him standing close to you, his two toned eyes on a swivel. He looks at you for a long moment, then your offered hand. He slides his fingers between yours after a moment of hesitation and you pull him closer, squeezing his hand gently. 

The employees at the phone carrier location are unbelievably helpful, allowing you to get in and out quickly with Riki’s new phone. It gives you most of the afternoon to just shop around. You love shopping around, window shopping but also really shopping, especially for Heeseung. Having Riki is nice because it gives you another person that you can absolutely shower with gifts whenever you want (having a well paying job has its perks even if the hours are horrible). You don’t plan on giving Riki everything in the world right off the bat, he might find that overwhelming, but there’s a reason why Heeseung acts like such a spoiled, clingy puppy all the time. 

It’s while you’re looking to get Riki some more clothes, which he seems hesitant to agree to, that the afternoon starts to take a turn. You aren’t noticing, but you’re not usually the type to notice people as quickly as Heeseung is, and apparently Riki, because it’s while you’re talking to him that his ears suddenly perk up, starting to twitch in the direction of someone approaching the three of you. Heeseung’s growling clues you in that the person approaching is entirely unwelcome. 

“Do you need any help today, miss?” A male employee asks, leaning towards you in a manner that Heeseung deems a little too friendly, eyes narrowing. You reach over to touch Heeseung’s arm in an effort to get him to stop, and the sound cuts off but he’s quick to come to your side from the few steps away he was previously standing. 

“No, it’s alright,” you tell him. “We’re doing just fine.” 

“Well, let me know if you need any help at all.” He winks and Heeseung’s lips curl into a sneer, revealing his sharp teeth. The employee either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care because he doesn’t pull away. 

“We will, thank you,” you tell him and the guy finally leaves the three of you alone. Heeseung makes a low noise in the back of his throat, causing you to pull him closer. “Seungie, down,” you warn him. He relents, not making any more noise, but it’s obvious he doesn’t like it. You turn back to Riki, but his ears are still perked and his tail is raised, swishing through the air over his shoulder. It’s rare you see his tail anywhere but down by his legs, which makes you a little anxious. “Riki?” You ask and his eyes turn to yours, his pupils bigger than normal. “Something wrong?” 

“He’s still close,” Riki tells you. You turn to look, causing Heeseung to do the same. 

You can’t see the employee who was just talking to you, but your senses are worse than theirs, the two of them afforded a hypersensitivity due to their animalistic traits that you don’t have. Heeseung begins to growl again, reaching for your hand, while Riki gently takes the shirt from your hand, putting it back on the rack. 

“We should leave,” he decides for the three of you and you sigh. 

“Okay. Let’s leave,” you agree, taking Riki’s hand in your free one. 

There are upsides to having hybrids around you. Heeseung might be needlessly protective over you but he, like a dog, knows when people around you are bad people. It’s a sense that he must have, a sense that Riki must also share because you notice the way he keeps glancing back over his shoulder into the store when you leave. Heeseung is leading the charge but Riki keeps an eye on your back, almost as if he thinks the man might follow the three of you. You still can’t see him but based on the tightness in Riki’s shoulders and his upright, tense tail he can sense that he’s not far. 

There seems to be something in the air afterwards, because Riki’s tense shoulders and upright tail don’t go away. Heeseung relaxes minutely but you can hardly have your hands back the rest of the day, both of them clinging to your sides. Whatever was wrong with that guy, he’s managed to completely change the atmosphere of your day with one interaction. Heeseung glares at any man that comes within a few feet of you and Riki stays directly next to you. 

You don’t get much done and end up heading back to the apartment early. Both of them actively become less tense once you’re all safe in the car, headed back to your home. 

When you get in, you drop into the couch immediately after closing the door, only for Heeseung to descend upon you. He doesn’t even let you take his collar off, climbing practically into your lap, wrapping his arms around you and shoving his face into your neck. You pet his hair gently, scratching at the base of his ears while he kisses and licks at your neck. You lift your gaze from him to see Riki hesitating at the door, trying to edge his way out of the room. 

“Riki,” you call out, and he looks at you, pupils big, ears flattened. “C’mere.” You wave him over, trying to keep your tone light. You don’t want to scare or spook him when he seems so alarmed. He shuffles over to the couch, and you pat the free space on the couch beside you. “Sit,” you tell him and he does, sitting beside you. Your hand lands in his hair and he slumps down, resting his head on your opposite shoulder.

Given a clear, soothing signal, he hides his face into your shoulder, hands twisting and tugging at the hem of his shirt. You rest your cheek on the top of his head, scratching his ears and along his scalp. Riki rubs his face into your shoulder, making soft whining noises into your shirt, like he doesn’t know what to do. He’s soothed, but still frustrated, you can tell.

“It’s okay,” you whisper, kissing the top of his head. “It’s okay, Riki. You’re okay.” 

You don’t know how long you sit there with the two of them crowded around you, but you don’t mind. You’re used to Heeseung’s incessant need to be close to you after someone approaches you, but you have a feeling there is something deeper going on with Riki. Even still, you hold him against you, petting his hair, scratching his ears and letting him relax at your side at his pace. The tension in both of them eases out slowly the longer you sit with them, pulling your hands back so you unclasp the backs of their collars, freeing them of the restricting material. 

Riki all but melts against your side when you take it off of him, tossing it casually onto the coffee table. His hands finally leave his shirt to touch your waist, Heeseung pulling his hands back a bit to give him the room. You smile softly to yourself, proud of Heeseung for being willing to share, especially after today. Riki headbutts your shoulder gently, silently asking for pets in that way of his, so you bring your hands back to their hair, Heeseung whining into your throat while Riki rubs his face against your shoulder. 

You could almost fall asleep, their tails strewn across your lap, Heeseung’s mouth on your neck, Riki’s face on your shoulder. You’re actually considering bringing them to the bedroom for a much needed afternoon snooze when you hear it. 

It’s soft, almost negligent to begin with, but when you follow your instincts to rub a little more insistently against the base of Riki’s ears, it gets louder. A soft, gentle vibration that’s partially muffled into your shoulder. You rest your cheek against his head as it gets more intense, Riki tilting his head into your hand as you pet him. It’s sweet, you had heard that cat hybrids could do it, purr when they were happy or sleepy or wanted attention. It could be any of the three but the sound that Riki’s making makes you unimaginably happy, knowing that he’s content by your side. 

When you go to bed that night, you leave your bedroom door open, a silent invitation in case Riki wants to take it, Heeseung already stretched out in bed, tail thumping against the bed every so often when you crawl in beside him. He’s still feeling pretty clingy after what happened this afternoon, nothing bothers him more than when a man is nearby and you’re sure that Riki’s reaction didn’t help. Still, you bring him into your arms, letting him rest his head on your chest, nuzzling right into your collarbones.

“You okay?” You ask, petting your fingers through his hair and rubbing his back gently. 

“I’m okay,” he mutters into your chest. “I hate when men can’t take a hint around you.” It comes out low and growly, causing you to pet him a little gentler, kissing his head. “Mine,” Heeseung grumbles, nosing against your collarbone, leaving a trail of pecks over your skin. 

“You have to share now, Seungie,” you remind him gently. 

“I don’t mind sharing with Riki,” Heeseung whispers. You can’t stop the smile that comes across your lips. “I like him, and he likes you. You take good care of us.” He yawns widely, and you resist the urge to coo as he rubs his face against your collarbones. “I hate other men. They don’t deserve you,” he says, decisive yet sleepy, smacking his lips together as he rests his cheek on you, snuggling in close.

“You’re so cute, Seungie,” you tell him, scritching your fingernail along his scalping. He leans into your palm, closing his eyes. 

You’re not sure what time it is when you hear the door to the bedroom creak further open. You usually keep the door closed, the apartment near silent at night, so even the smallest sound wakes you from your slumber. Heeseung, however, perks up immediately beside you, staring directly at the door. You sit up a bit in bed, looking over your shoulder at the door. You gasp, half asleep and not expecting to see a pair of glowing, mismatched eyes in your bedroom doorway, clutching your chest. 

“It’s just me,” Riki whispers in the dark and you sigh, leaning forward to rest your forehead against Heeseung’s chest. Heeseung relaxes as well, falling back into the bed. You roll over to climb from the blankets, meeting Riki near the doorway. As your eyes adjust to the darkness of the room you can see him a little clearer, especially the anxious expression on his face, the tightness in his shoulders, the way he’s having a hard time meeting your gaze. Every so often, there’s a flash of his tail over his shoulder, moving around erratically, his ears pressed to the top of his head.

“Are you okay?” You ask, trying to catch his eye. 

“Is it… okay if I sleep in here with you?” He asks, voice small. You gently touch his cheek, Riki’s eyes slowly sliding to meet your gaze.

“Of course you can,” you assure him. “C’mere, baby.” He nods slightly, taking the hand you offer him. 

He shuffles across the room with you, crawling into bed behind you. Heeseung immediately clings to your back as soon as you’re close, his forehead against the nape of your neck. Riki curls up against your front, snuggling in close, nuzzling his face into your collarbones when you curl your hand over the back of his head, guiding him down towards your chest. You’re tightly sandwiched between the two of them, Heeseung’s arms around your hips, Riki’s around your waist. It’s warm and comfortable though, tipping your head forward to tuck your nose into Riki’s hair. 

“Go back to sleep, baby,” you tell him. Riki whines softly into your chest, rubbing his face against your skin. “I’m here. Noona’s here, baby.” 

You find that you physically cannot move when you wake in the morning, almost having forgotten about the fact that Riki crawled into bed with the two of you last night. Heeseung is breathing against your neck while Riki is sleeping against your chest. You run your hands through Riki’s hair, slowly waking up. You can tell they’re waking as well based on the way Heeseung’s tail is flickering against the back of your legs and Riki’s ears are twitching in your fingers. 

“Good morning,” you whisper to the both of them. Heeseung greets you with a messy kiss to the back of your neck while Riki nuzzles against your skin. “Time to get up?” 

“Five more minutes,” Heeseung mumbles. 

“Not yet,” Riki says, butting his head softly against your collarbones, asking for more pets. You oblige, as you always do, reaching back as best you can with your other hand to pet Heeseung while you scratch at Riki’s ears until he’s purring again. His arms tighten around his waist, his purring vibrating through your entire chest while Heeseung whines softly into the back of your neck, nosing against you. 

“You’ll be able to go on this trip, right?” Your boss asks you. You sigh, staring at the itinerary of what’s going to be coming up soon. There are several business trips that are going to be coming up, quarter evaluations mean that all the locations with the best numbers (in-house sales, customers, reviews, things like that) are going to require upper management to come by and check it out. It’s basically a formality, a metaphorical pat on the back more than anything, but you’re upper management now, so you have to go to at least one of these locations. It’s non negotiable. 

“Yeah,” you agree but you don’t sound confident about it. “Everything at home should be more settled now.” 

“I know you’ve been going through a lot of life changes lately,” your boss says, leaning on the front of your desk. “And I haven’t wanted to push you to go on any other trips because of that.” 

“And I appreciate that,” you tell him and you do. Genuinely, since you’ve been trying to settle your life lately, adopting Riki and getting him settled and getting Heeseung used to having Riki around and Heeseung knowing that you’re going to have to be going on these trips. It’s been a lot to take on, especially after your promotion and all the new responsibilities, including these trips, that you now have. Your boss has been very patient with you, trying not to push you to go on these business trips before you’re ready, but you don’t have a choice now. You have to go to at least one of these locations. 

“But you’re upper management, and I need you to take at least one of these locations,” he points out, putting the paper down on your desk. You stare down at the list of locations to choose from, from the U.S. to Europe to several locations in Asia. You hesitate over your decision. “We’re still in the process of getting everything together, so I wanted you to have the opportunity to choose the location you wanted to go to.” 

“I’d like to stay nearby,” you tell him and he nods in agreement. “Maybe the Tokyo location?” You suggest, noting the location on the list. Tokyo’s hotel has some of the best numbers, it always does, always on top due to the tourism and the fact that your company’s hotels are so foreigner friendly, hiring mutli-lingual employees being a top priority. 

“I can make that happen,” he agrees. “Initial here,” he says, tapping the hotel name and you do so. “I’ll bring this up to the others on the board,” he tells you, taking the list back. “In the meantime, take your time to prepare for your trip. I’ll make sure you go to the Tokyo location, just be sure you’re ready when you have to fly out, okay?” You nod, staring down at your desk. “Hey,” he says, resting a hand on your shoulder and you look up at him. “It’s only a few days.” 

“Yeah,” you agree. “Only a few days.” 

‘Only a few days’ becomes your mantra throughout the rest of the day as you go through the rest of your work hours, and then get ready to go home. It’s the phrase you hope to be a reassurance to both of your hybrids when you go home tonight. You’re still not quite sure how well it’s going to go over. 

By the time you get to go home, you’re dreading the conversation but it’s necessary. You got an email towards the end of the day that the meeting is tomorrow, so the confirmation of your flight will be coming by the end of the week. You haven’t gone on a business trip in weeks, months at this point, and the last one didn’t even require flight. You drove to Sokcho for a week and were able to bring Heeseung with you. You’re not looking forward to this at all. 

You barely get a step in the door before Heeseung is on you. You can’t stop the smile that comes to your face when he’s right there, tail wagging, smile in place, ears perked. You set your keys aside and turn towards him, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek. However, Heeseung also knows you extremely well so when you step back to take your shoes off Heeseung is frowning, staring at you critically. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks. 

“What?” You reply, stacking your heels onto the shoe rack. “Nothing’s wrong,” you tell him, walking further into the room, setting your work bag on the chair by the entryway. 

“Something’s wrong,” he insists and you sigh at him. “What is it? Something happen at work?” He asks, tilting his head at you. You reach up to run your fingers through his hair, Heeseung tilting his head into affection, briefly distracted by it. You look over towards the hallway, not surprised to see Riki leaning around the corner, clearly having heard you come home. 

“Hi, Riki,” you greet him, and he steps around the corner to approach the two of you. “I’m glad you’re here. I have something to tell you two.” He freezes, eyes widening while his ears twitch down towards the top of his head. Heeseung immediately stops leaning into you, staring at you with perked ears, eyes wide in alarm. “Oh my goodness, you two are so dramatic. It’s not bad. Just take a seat,” you tell them, gesturing to the couch. 

All you have to do is sit down, and they’re both sitting next to you, Heeseung clinging to your waist while Riki hesitates, wringing his hands together in his lap. You reach over to take his hand in yours, stopping his fidgeting, anxious movement. He meets your gaze hesitantly and you smile. 

“It’s not bad,” you repeat. “But you remember how I told you that my job requires me to go on business trips?” You ask him and he nods. Heeseung whines, burying his face in your shoulder. You sigh heavily. “Well, I can’t put it off anymore.” It’s best to just rip the bandaid off, you don’t want to beat around the bush about this. They’re going to be disappointed either way. “My boss wants me to go on a trip soon, possibly in the next couple of weeks. He’s not given me an exact date yet but I can’t avoid it anymore.” 

“How long?” Riki asks, squeezing your hand in his. 

“A few days,” you tell him. He frowns, looking down at the couch cushions. “It’s just a few days,” you insist, lifting your free hand to gently run it through his hair, scratching your nails against the base of his ear affectionately. He hums softly, tilting his head into the affection. It’s hard to accomplish with the way Heeseung is clinging to you like a scared child, but you manage alright. You’ll have to talk Heeseung down separately later, he’s clearly not taking this well. “I won’t be going too far, and I’ll call you every night. I promise I’ll be back just as soon as I can.” 

“Where are you going?” Riki asks. Heeseung hums, lifting his head slightly from your shoulder. You smile softly.

“I work for a hotel company so I’ll be visiting a location in Tokyo,” you inform him and he nods. “It’s just a work trip, I’ll be back as soon as I can.” 

“Okay,” Riki agrees.

Riki retreats to his room shortly, telling you that he just wants to be alone to digest this information on his own. You let him go, squeezing his hand once more before he leaves your side. It’s once you hear the sound of his bedroom door closing that you can turn your attention to your clingy puppy, who still hasn’t let go of you. 

“Let’s go to the bedroom?” You tell him and he nods in agreement, only letting go of your waist to take your hand instead. 

You knew this was coming. Maybe this is your fault, when you think about it. Heeseung surely must have some kind of separation anxiety now, having spent so much of his life with you. He’s hardly been alone for longer than a work day since you adopted him into your home. You should’ve been more careful about this, but you’ve let him be practically attached to your hip since the day you brought him home. This is the consequences of it, you know it, trying to talk him down from the inevitable meltdown that might happen if you’re not delicate about telling him that he’s going to have to be without you for a few days. 

You close the door to the bedroom and crawl into bed with him. He’s pawing at you as soon as you’re in bed with him, pulling at your clothes and trying to wriggle his way against you as close as possible. You let him have his way, unbuttoning your dress shirt to reveal the camisole you’re wearing underneath. His mouth lands in your exposed skin as soon as it’s revealed, hands shoving underneath your shirts so he can feel the heat of your skin, kissing and licking at the skin he can reach. 

“Seungie,” you whine, struggling to get your shirt off. You wrestle it off, throwing it aside as best you can with the way he seems to be trying to devour you. You’re practically wet with the way he’s licking at your skin, wet kisses all over the skin he can reach, up your collarbones and neck, gripping at your body. “Seungie, calm down,” you try to soothe him, running your hands through his hair but it only makes him whine against your skin. 

“Don’t go,” he whimpers into your chest. 

“Baby, you know I have to,” you tell him. He shakes his head, rubbing his face against your neck. “Seungie, baby, we talked about this.” His arms wrap around your waist, gathering you in his arms as he straddles you. He’s practically rutting against your body, needy and desperate. It’s not often he gets like this, and you have to force him onto his back to get him to calm down. Pinned underneath you, he finally stops grabbing and pawing at you and you can look at his face. His big eyes are shiny with tears. “Oh, my poor baby,” you coo, cupping his face in his hands. “It’s okay. Noona’s here, baby. It’s gonna be okay.” 

“‘M gonna miss you,” he mumbles and you kiss him sweetly. He chases your lips, all tongue and teeth, messy and needy. He wants you, you know he does, but you don’t want to give in right now. Riki’s just a few doors down, he’s processing his own emotions, you don’t want to do that to him while emotions are so high in the apartment right now. You press Heeseung down against the bedding, straddling his hips, swallowing the whine he lets out with your mouth. 

“Heeseungie, baby,” you whisper, pulling away from his mouth. He blinks his big, wet eyes at you and your heart aches in your chest. “It’s only a few days,” you assure him. The little whine he lets out is enough to make you feel like the worst person in the world. “I told you I was gonna have to start going on these trips. And you won’t be alone, Riki’s gonna be here with you.” He nods, reluctantly. “And I’m just a phone call away. I’m gonna call you every night, I promise.” He nods again, a little more decisively. “I know it’s gonna be hard, it’s the first time you’re gonna be without me for a long time,” you admit, thumbing softly at his cheek, “but I won’t be gone forever. I’ll be back just as soon as I can.” 

“Want noona now,” he whines, tugging at your hips. 

“Not right now, baby,” you tell him gently. He pouts, your spoiled puppy not used to being told no. “Can you be good right now? My good boy?” You ask him and he nods, despite the pout on his lips, his wide, wanting eyes. “Later, noona’ll give you whatever you want. Okay? But you have to wait right now.” He nods again and you fall back into bed with him. 

You cradle him against your chest, Heeseung’s face in your chest, his arms around your waist. Your legs tangle together, his tail wrapping around the outside of your thigh. Heeseung is still feeling needy, you can tell, with the way he’s still licking at your skin, wet kisses all over you, nuzzling against you. You’re going to smell like him later, you know it, but that’s exactly what he wants. He might be okay with sharing you with Riki but you know he’s feeling defensive and territorial right this second so you don’t even stop him, running your fingers through his hair and scratching his ears as he does it. 

To say that things are tense in the apartment as you prepare for your trip would be an understatement. Heeseung is constantly oscillating between wanting to be alone and wanting to be on top of you the entire time you’re preparing for your business trip while Riki seems to be at war within himself, mostly keeping to himself. It feels like three steps forward, two steps back with him, the way that your sudden departure is making him question this arrangement. It hurts, trying to get close to him, only for him to close off. You’ve barely even been able to touch him, Riki shying away from your hand when you go to run it through his hair. 

You try to reassure yourself that it’s just the first trip. They’re not used to it yet, the more this happens, the more comfortable they’ll become with this, but it’s just so difficult to deal with. You feel like you’re betraying the both of them, going off on this work trip when they clearly don’t want you to. It’s so frustrating, trying to prepare while also feeling like this one thing is going to be the thing that finally tears you apart. 

Your flight is scheduled for a Monday morning, which means that you have to prepare your bags and get dressed like you’re going into work two hours before you usually do. It’s only a two hour flight, so you’re going to have to start working pretty much as soon as you get into the country, your passport and wallet in hand as you bring your bag to the door. Heeseung and Riki reluctantly see you off at the door as you make sure you’re not forgetting anything. 

“Alright,” you sigh, smiling at them. Heeseung attempts a smile but he’s been clinging to you like a lost puppy since you went to bed last night and Riki isn’t making eye contact at all. “I’m off. I’ll be back on Thursday,” you tell them and they both nod. “I’ll call every night, I promise,” you assure them and they nod again. “Well, I better get going,” you sigh. “C’mere,” you tell Heeseung, who immediately dives into your arms. 

He clings to you like you’re going away for a year, not a few days. It’s going to be feel like a year to him, you know it, so you kiss his head, his temple, his forehead, his cheek, rubbing his back and running your fingers through his hair. He sniffles softly into your ear, making your heart ache again. You are not going to cry over a four day business trip but Heeseung’s separation anxiety is making it difficult not to. When you pull away you wipe your thumb under his wet eyes and kiss him sweetly on the lips. 

“I’ll be back before you know it,” you tell him and he nods. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” he mumbles. 

You pull away from him and turn towards Riki. You’re not sure what to do, with how he’s been trying to pull away from you. You hesitate, letting him make the decision for you. You’re surprised when he suddenly pulls you into him, squeezing you tightly. 

“‘M gonna miss you,” he mumbles into your shoulder. You smile softly, running your fingers through his hair, rubbing his back too. Riki rubs his face against your shoulder, nuzzling into your jacket. “Come back soon,” he murmurs. 

“I’ll be home just as soon as I can. Okay, kitty?” You tell him. It slips out without thought but he simply purrs into your shoulder as your scratch at his ears. His tail flicks around, brushing at your thigh and waist. “Heeseungie’s gonna take good care of you while I’m gone. Be good?” 

“Mhm,” he agrees. He slowly pulls away, instead moving to nuzzle his face against your cheek. Your eyes widen, surprised by his forward affection. You turn your face into it, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. When you pull back, you thumb softly at his cheek, leaning forward to press a kiss to his forehead. 

“See you soon,” you tell him. 

“See you soon, noona,” he agrees. 

You depart from them reluctantly, waving once more before stepping out of the apartment, locking it behind you. 

You realize, on the very first night, that maybe it’s not just Heeseung who has separation anxiety. You have a hard time ignoring all the thoughts that flit through your head, trying so hard to focus on your job, the staff that greets you and the mandatory walk-throughs you have to do. You’re staying at the hotel so you’re doing all sorts of walking tours around the grand grounds and listening in on staff meetings, literally eating, sleeping and breathing your job right now. And still, your mind keeps getting distracted, going back to your boys at home. 

Are they sleeping well? Are they eating well? Are they getting along while you’re gone? They’re not children, they can handle being alone with one another for a few days, they’re not going to start fighting, but still it sits in your mind. Heeseung was so distraught by your leaving and Riki was clearly more affected than you thought. When you call them the first night, you’re thankful that they both seem to be in good spirits but it just makes you more frustrated that you have two more nights that you have to be away from them when you have to turn in. 

What’s worse is that you have to go on a walking tour through the ‘hybrid friendly’ rooms on the second day. Which means that you spend the whole day looking at other hybrids and talking about hybrid accommodations that make you miss your boys enough that you kind of feel like crying. 

“And this is one of our most popular hybrid friendly suites,” the staff member who’s taking you around tells you. You think her name is Kazuha but you’re not sure, you’re so distracted you can barely think. Still, you step into the room, alone with your colleague having been taken on a tour of the gardens, Kazuha close behind you. 

It’s a beautiful room, decorated in shades of beige, navy and black with golden accents. It’s not too much, the white curtains create a comfortable glow around the room from the daylight streaming in the glass balcony doors, the black appliances in the kitchenette keeping to the theme. You walk ahead to view the whole room, the shiny white and navy bathroom, the perfectly tucked bed with navy spread you can see in the attached bedroom, the black sitting room furniture with light wood coffee table to match the beige walls. 

“Our suites are extremely popular with people who come with hybrid companions. This is one with just one room, but, of course, there are suites with up to three rooms, and the attached balcony and patios are very popular for those that come with hybrids of more active or energetic breeds,” she informs you and you walk ahead to peer out the door. 

“May I?” You ask, gesturing to the door. 

“Of course!” She assures you and you slide open the door. 

The balcony is large with a tall railing, turf sitting area and false fire pit. It’s very beautiful but it’s by no means big enough for someone like your Heeseung, or even Riki. Surely a smaller hybrid might consider it more comfortable, but that’s alright. 

“It’s lovely,” you tell her, stepping back inside and Kazuha smiles at you. “A bit small, but I assume you have other rooms with more space,” you comment, closing the door. 

“We do. As I said, we have suites of up to two additional rooms for families or large groups that might come with multiple people or hybrids.” 

“Good to hear,” you reply. “It’s always so hard for me to find good hotels for me and my own companions. I’m glad to know that I can rely on my own company,” you tell her. Her eyes widen briefly and you tilt your head, curious to hear her response. 

“You have hybrids of your own, ma’am?” She asks. 

“I do. My lovely boys, a dog and a cat,” you inform her, walking back towards the door, past her. “That’s not a problem, is it?” 

“Goodness, no!” She says, hurrying after you. She opens the door for you. “We cater to all types, hybrids and people alike. It would be an honor to be a place where you can comfortably bring your own companions,” she tells you and you smile gently. She sounds more genuine than you’ve heard some others, easing something inside of you. 

God, you miss them, you can’t help but think as she closes the door behind you. 

You’re not sure who’s had it worse when you can finally board your flight home on Thursday morning, getting settled into your seat, eagerly waiting to go home. It’s been a long few days away from your home, your bed, your creature comforts. But mostly, your boys. 

Heeseung was practically vibrating when you video called them the night before, Riki leaning his head on his hyung’s shoulder, trying to keep him calm throughout the call. He was obviously very excited, and based on the way Riki couldn’t stop smiling, he was too. It was enough to quell the nerves in your stomach to actually get some sleep before your flight in the morning. You were ready to come home, a few days away from them was just too long. Again, maybe it’s just because it’s the first one, but this one trip has felt like it would never end, being away from them for even as short a time as three and a half days. 

You can’t help the shake of your fingers, almost dropping your keys on the hallway floor when you try to unlock your apartment. You’re so excited to get into your home, knowing that you don’t have to go back to work until Monday. Your boss agreed to let you work from home tomorrow because you’ve been away, which you are so thankful for, you’re ready to just be home for a few days.

You get inside and hurry through taking your shoes off, tossing your keys aside and leaving your bag by the door. You fully expected the two of them to come barreling out of the hallway towards you that you’re sort of disappointed that you’re not immediately struggling with Heeseung just to take your shoes off. Riki’s always been a little more subdued, showing up well after Heeseung’s already started trying to crowd around you, but even he’s missing. You walk further into the apartment, looking around to see if anything is out of place. 

The kitchen has some dishes in the sink, but that’s no surprise, the throw on the living room couch is unfolded and tossed haphazardly onto the cushions in comparison to how you usually leave it folded over the back. Nothing too out of place, just a little different to how you usually keep things. It doesn’t bother you, but it’s strange that as you walk through, no one is coming to greet you yet. 

“Heeseung?” You call out. “Riki?”’

Riki’s bedroom door is cracked open, so you push it open, but no one is inside. That’s very strange, Riki’s almost always in his room, unless he’s in Heeseung’s. But you open Heeseung’s bedroom door, also cracked open, and they’re not in there either. Heeseung hardly ever sleeps in his own room, it’s mostly a formality now, just a place for him to be if he ever wants to be alone, but all of his things are in it. Neither of them are inside, which makes your heart start to race. 

You rush the rest of the way down the hall, hopeful to find them in the master bedroom. It’s the only other place they can be, the bathroom door open, the rest of the apartment empty. You push open the door to your bedroom, the master bedroom, a sigh of relief leaving you when you find them there. 

Curled up in the middle of the bed, the two of them are sleeping. You smile to yourself, approaching the side of the bed. Riki is curled up against Heeseung’s chest in a fetal position, his tail draped over Heeseung’s waist, snuffling softly against Heeseung’s collarbones. Heeseung’s arm is thrown over Riki’s waist, his nose pressed between Riki’s ears, into his hair, cradling him close. 

If you ever doubted that the two of them would get along, it all leaves your mind now, seeing your boys so comfortable together. You sit down on the edge of the bed, running a fingertip over Heeseung’s ear, watching it twitch, and brushing Riki’s too-long bangs from his eyes. 

You must’ve let your fingers linger too long, because Riki stirs, blinking his eyes open. When he shifts, Heeseung pulls away with a frown, turning his head away to try and smother it into the blankets. Riki, however, turns his head, looking for what woke him up. You smile softly at him, Riki blinking several times in a row. Once the sleep has cleared he slowly extracts himself from Heeseung, crawling over the bedding to get to you. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” you greet him. Riki falls into your lap, wrapping his arms around your waist, nuzzling his face into your stomach. You bring your hand down to the top of his head, petting through his hair. Immediately, he starts purring, vibrating through your skin, echoing through your ribs and into your very being. You run your hand through his hair, scratching at the base of his ears. You can’t help but giggle with how loudly he’s purring, sounding almost like a motor. Riki doesn’t let go though, shoving his face into your stomach pointedly. 

“Missed you,” he mumbles into your stomach between bouts of purring and you lean down to kiss the top of his head. 

“I missed you too, kitty. Missed you so much.” 

You disentangle Riki from around you, much to his displeasure, so you can slide up the bed and settle down against Heeseung’s side. Riki immediately curls around your back to stay close while you wrap your own arms around Heeseung’s middle. Your sleepy puppy takes in a deep breath, eyes cracking open, rubbing his face against the bedding before turning towards you. He blinks a few times, trying to clear the sleep from his eyes, only for his tail to start thumping against the mattress. 

“Noona?” he asks, voice small. You nod, smiling at him and he immediately curls towards you, burying his face into your neck. One of his legs shoves its way between yours, his arms curling around your shoulders. Riki has to snuggle in closer lest Heeseung pull you away entirely, causing you to be pressed up tightly between their bigger frames. Heeseung whines into your neck, making you laugh softly. 

“My baby,” you coo, petting a hand through his hair. You reach back for Riki, fingers sinking into his hair as well, causing him to purr into the back of your shoulder. “My boys. I missed you two so much,” you sigh, resting your cheek against the top of Heeseung's head. 

“We missed you too,” Heeseung mumbles. “Love you, noona.” 

“I love you.” You glance over your shoulder at Riki, who lifts his head to look at you. “Both of you.” 

“Love you too,” Riki murmurs, nuzzling his face into your shoulder again. 

That’s all you could ever hope for.

a/n: *the above work depicts hybrids in a world in which they are considered "pets" or "companions" and not equal to humans. this isn't a social commentary, this is just a story related choice i made; this is my first stand alone riki fic and, as per usual, i cannot be trusted and HAD to pair him with heeseung (i'm obsessed with this man, i'm sorry). i've been meaning to write a hybrid fic and i'm so glad this was my first one. additionally, i know this is a little outside my usual content, still i hope you guys liked it too.

And then he knocked again. This time, you hesitated. You wanted to open it, you really did...but you didn't. No. You had to stand your ground. You weren't going to give in.

"Y/N" you heard his voice. The tapping on the window got louder, sloppier. "Y/N!" his voice was hoarse, not quiet and playful like usual. It was different.

But you stayed silent. You weren't going to let him in, you promised yourself.

"Y/N, please." You dropped your pencil. His voice was just a whisper now and you could barely hear it outside the locked window. He tapped one more time. "I'm hurt."

You felt chills on your neck and you immediately walked towards the window, pulling the curtains open. There he was, crouching against your balcony. His Prowler mask was on, his gauntlets were hanging off his hands.

And his shirt was soaked in blood.

You stared at him for a moment, taking in the sight. He reached his arm up with a pained groan, pulling his mask off. His brow was soaked in sweat, his face glistening slightly in the moonlight. "Please." he mouthed.

Robotically, you pulled open the window. You took his arm and helped him in, and he basically collapsed onto the floor, breathing heavily.

You helped him sit up, his back pressed against the wall. You quickly got to work, like you always did when he showed up in pain, grabbing your first-aid kit from underneath your bed and snapping it open quietly.

He winced as you began cleaning his wounds, pulling his shirt up so you could get to where the blood was coming from. He had a slash right across his stomach, blood gushing out in ribbons of red. It was never-ending.

You pressed an old t-shirt to the wound, trying your best to make some sort of tourniquet to stop the flow of the blood before pouring the rubbing alcohol over it. He covered his mouth with his hand and groaned, eyes squeezing shut, tears prickling the edges.

As you worked, he fell completely silent. You did too, too focused on keeping him alive to notice his eyes on you.

Not a word was exchanged.

Then a quiet, "Are you still mad at me?"

You looked up for a moment, eyes meeting his as he stared at you. They were hooded, but filled with sadness. He tilted his head back, a quiet sigh escaping his lips as he blinked, still keeping his eyes on yours.

He looked like he wanted to say something. He didn't.

So neither did you.

But after another moment,

"I'm sorry."

It was just a whisper, so quiet you'd barely even heard it, but it meant so much. You felt your eyes tear up and you refused to look at him, continuing to gently work on his wounds.

"Say something." he whispered, pushing your hands off of him and sitting up. He grabbed your arms, holding your hands in his. "Please. Anything. I'm-I'm sorry."

You looked at him, taking a shaky breath. Suddenly, you jumped towards him, practically melting into his arms when they wrapped around you.

And just like that...everything felt better.

"Ow-" he winced as you accidentally put pressure on his sore wound, and you immediately shifted yourself, a soft chuckle escaping your lips. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I-I'm sorry. You shouldn't be sorry, I'm sorry." he stammered, taking your face in his hands as gently as he could. He smiled slightly, wiping away the remnants of tears in the corners of your eyes. "Are you crying?"

"No!" you quickly responded, pulling back. "I just-I just-"

"It's okay. You can cry" he said with a grin, sitting up again with a grunt.

"I'm not crying because of the argument, you jerk." you said with a huff. "I-I just hate seeing you like this. I get scared." your voice sounded so small in the moment, it was like a completely different person had appeared.

His gaze softened. "I see." He gestured for you to come back towards him and you did, resting your head against his chest as he held you close. "Thank you. For letting me in." he whispered, kissing the top of your head gently, his lips lingering for a moment longer than usual.

"Of course." you replied with a smile, looking up at him with crinkled eyes. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I am." he said, returning the smile before giving you a gentle kiss, hands cupping your face as he pulled you close. You giggled before snuggling up to him a little closer, making sure to be careful not to graze his still sensitive cuts.

"So you're not mad at me anymore?" he asked tentatively, closing his eyes as he buried his face in your neck. You stayed silent for a moment and you could swear you felt his heart drop when you didn't respond.

You grinned. "No. I'm not mad anymore." He chuckled, nervously almost. "You had me there for a second." he whispered, kissing your cheek gently.

"I am sorry though."

"What for?"

He froze. "For...for the argument."

"What part of the argument?"

He stayed silent and you couldn't help but laugh. So he'd forgotten how it'd started too. Funny.

"I forgot too, Miles. Don't worry."

He breathed out a sigh of relief and laughed, tilting his head back. "Jesus, you scared me."

"Not as bad as you scared me, knocking on my window like that. There's blood everywhere" you said with a frown, glancing back towards the window.

He pulled your head back gently. "Don't look at the blood, just look at me. We can worry about that later, yeah?"

You smiled, nodding before hugging him again. His fingers brushed through your hair as he held you close, breathing matching yours. A tender moment.

"I love you, you know that right?" he asked softly, lips moving to kiss your forehead one more time.

"I know, Miles. I love you too."

_______

🥺🥺🥺 im gonna cry

why did I write this it literally hurts how cute it is

:((

hopefully you liked this anon!!

______

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As you walked home, an arm wrapped around your shoulders from behind, "¿Cómo está mi ángel hoy?" Miles’ voice flowed through your ears.

He called you his, but you weren't lovers.

You were slightly startled but immediately recognized him. Letting out a soft chuckle, you said, “Your ángel, huh? That’s a new one.” smiling up at him.

"It suits you." Miles gave you a wink.

Usually, he called you 'ma'. So his switch-up today made you narrow your eyes at him skeptically. "What's with the good mood today? No 'ma'?" You tilted your head at him.

Shrugging it off, he said, "What, I can't be happy to see my girl?" He had a point, except for the fact that you weren't his girl.

You laughed and shook your head at him, "By all means, go ahead." As he accompanied you on your way home, you realized he made your walk home much more pleasant. Arriving at your house, you told him "This is me. Thanks for walking me today." You gave him a light peck on his cheek.

"Course. Make sure to wear that outfit I like tomorrow, mami." He teased with a grin, only half serious.

Rolling your eyes at him, you smiled, "You're insufferable. Adiós, Miles!" You waved as you walked up to your doorstep.

"Chao, princesa." Walking away, his mood felt lighter. He walked home with a little more liveliness than usual.

For reasons unknown, Miles walking you home was becoming a reoccurring event. Within the next few weeks, he walked you home more often than not. You started to look forward to it as you searched for him after school.

As you both walked down the street of your neighborhood for what seemed to be the hundredth time, you approached your house. As you both stood in front of your house, you turned to him and said, "Thanks for walking me home, Miles." You placed a kiss on his cheek. It seemed to be turning into a daily routine now.

"Anytime, princesa. Hasta luego." He smirked at you and watched you walk into your house before leaving.

Little did you know, that would be the last time he walked you home in a while.

Later that evening, you kicked your feet up on your couch and turned on the television. The first channel that popped up was the news channel. Reading the headline, your heart dropped into your stomach. It read,

"Police Captain Jefferson Davis Found Dead At 44.”

"Holy shit." You gasped. In an instant, you dropped the remote and tried to contact Miles. You tried calling but were sent immediately to voicemail. So you opted to text him, "I'm so sorry, Miles. I'm always here if you need to talk."

You left him multiple messages that night to no avail. The following day at school, you tried to scout him out in the halls. But he was never there. You would call if you thought he would answer.

Miles and you always confided in each other. There was a mutual trust between the two of you. However, within less than twenty-four hours, Miles' demeanor completely changed.

Leaving him another message after school, you said, "Where have you been? I'm worried, Miles. But you know that already. Sorry for the messages."

No response yet again. He didn't even bother to read it.

Weeks passed by with little to no contact from Miles. He seemed to entirely disappear. Your concern only grew for him. You haven't even seen him in the hallways at school. There was no denying it, you were starting to miss him.

Although, today was a new day. And for the first time in what felt like a century, you saw him in the hall. He looked a fright. There were new frown lines on his face that weren't there before. He looked slimmer, even. His smug smirk that would always adorn his face around you was no longer present. Your eyes lit up at the sight of him nonetheless. Jogging up to him, you called out.

"Miles, wait." You softly said as you delicately grabbed his arm, not to startle him. He paused, looking back but not into your eyes. He shook your grip off, never making eye contact with you. "I just need some time, alright?" He told you. But what does 'some time' entail? What if he just didn't want anything to do with you in general?

He walked away and didn’t look back.

You felt your heart break into two as you watched him fade away from your view. It broke for both him and you. Seeing him like this pained you. But at the same time, your heart ached as he pushed you away in the process.

Yet, you granted him his wish. You stopped looking for him in the hall. You stopped trying to message him. You stopped leaving voicemails. Maybe if you gave him some time, things would smooth out. Grief is a long process, after all. You couldn't blame him for grieving.

Weeks turned into months without any contact from Miles. And it didn't seem like he was going to break that any time soon.

You fell back into your old routine, the one where you'd never met Miles. He was merely a stranger that you thought too often about. You walked home without him next to you. And into class alone as well. You no longer looked forward to walking with him at the end of the day. The walks home were infuriatingly quiet.

Every day you arrived at your doorstep but never felt at home. You had a home, and he was it.

-----------

While you were getting books out of your locker, an arm slung around your shoulders. An almost familiar sensation. But it wasn't him. Far from him, actually.

Instead, it was no one other than Flash Thompson. His notorious blond hair and conceited attitude were tell-tale signs. You could almost smell the arrogance radiating off of him before you even acknowledged his presence.

"How are you, gorgeous?" He removed his arm from your shoulders to close your locker. Leaning his arm onto the locker above your head, he encased you on your locker with your back against it.

"I'm fine." You dryly responded, uninterested in his pursuits.

"That you are." He gave you a predatory smirk and winked at you. You mentally grimaced. "Anyway. You still with that Morales kid?"

Raising a brow at him, you respond, "We were never together.”

"Huh. He's always by your side, like an over-protective guard dog. So I assumed." Flash said. He wasn’t necessarily wrong. But that wasn't the case anymore. It hasn't been for some time.

This was one of the many times Flash had tried his advances on you. However, it never worked to his intentions since Miles was always there to tell him off. This time was different. Miles was nowhere in sight. At least, within your sight. Meaning Flash had an open opportunity with you. There was no Miles around to try and bite his head off.

"Yeah, well. Not anymore." You muttered. Suddenly feeling awkward, you directed your stare anywhere other than Flash's hungry gaze. An uncomfortable cold shiver ran down your spine.

Flash leaned in, his fingers pushing a strand of your hair away from your face. Whispering in your ear, he told you, "That's too bad. I could treat you better than him, though. He doesn't have to know, baby.”

You looked up at him and tried to hide the disgust that was forming on your face. But, hey. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise, you tried to convince yourself. This was a chance to get over Miles. His hold on you was ridiculous, considering you were never actually together. You weren’t going to wait for him to crawl back to you.

You put a hand on Flash’s chest in an attempt to push him away from you. But he misinterpreted it and encased his palm over your hand that was laying on his chest. “See? You’re warming up to me already. You don’t need him.” He cockily said.

Turning your head away from him, you said, “I don’t know, Flash. I’ll think about it.” pretending to consider it. He gave you a displeased look, "What's there to think about? We would be good together, babe." he tried to persuade you. It was evident that he wasn't going to give up anytime soon.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Miles turned around the corner and instantly spotted you. He’s been skipping almost every day. All of a sudden, he felt glad that he didn’t skip today as he saw you with Flash Thompson. Way too close for his comfort. And then he saw your hand on Flash’s chest. That was his breaking point.

Miles saw nothing but red as he walked over to the two of you. If looks could kill, Flash would've been dealt with by the first second he walked around the corner. He sneered, "Back the fuck off my girl, Thompson." shoving him in the chest away from you.

You couldn’t believe him. After all that time, now is when he decides to make an appearance. He was the one that cut you out of his life. Not you, but him. Huffing at him, you spoke up before Flash did. "I'm not your girl. You've made that clear." You rolled your eyes in irritation.

Flash gave Miles a smug smirk at your words, "You heard her. So go fuck yourself, Morales." He spat at Miles, getting up close and personal with him. As Flash glared at Miles, it was clear he was trying to intimidate him. It wasn't working.

You almost didn't comprehend what was happening as a fist collided with Flash's face, knocking him down momentarily. He groaned in pain, holding onto his nose as blood dripped from it.

“What the fuck?” You screeched at Miles’ outburst. Flash was still laying on the floor, stumbling to get up. Before it could escalate further, you pulled Miles by his arm and dragged him into an empty supply closet. Miles opened his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it.

"The fuck is wrong with you, Miles? You don't speak to me for months and now you suddenly want something to do with me?" You said in disbelief.

He said bluntly, "I don't want to see you with him again."

His hands traveled over the curve of your hips to your waist, pulling you closer to him. You tried to get out of his touch. Or, you would've. But his hands on you felt too natural. He felt right.

That didn’t mean you’d let him off easy. This was the first conversation you both held in months.

"Well for the past few months, you didn't want to be seen with me either." You quipped, aggravated. His sudden change of heart polarized your emotions. You were conflicted with yourself.

He shook his head, “I’m sorry, mami. There’s shit going on that I couldn’t involve you in. I can’t bring you down with me.” He uncharacteristically apologized.

His words made you become hyper-aware of his hands on your waist. The way he rubbed circles into your skin with his thumbs. How you almost folded under his touch, but maintained your unbothered facade. No matter how much time has passed, he still made your heart race.

You scoffed at him and continued, "I’m not going to wait around for you like some lovesick puppy. Do you want me or not, Miles?"

Without a moment of hesitation, he quickly said, “You have no fucking idea.” Inspecting his eyes, you tried to find deception within them. What you saw in return was the gaze of a man starved.

“Then earn me.” Glaring up at him, you harshly retorted as you furrowed your brows at him. But one more look into each other's eyes was all it took for the tension to snap in half.

He grabbed you by the waist swiftly and pulled you in, your lips finally connecting. You wrapped your arms around his neck. Your bodies pressed together against the wall of the closet, knocking over supplies. The pent-up frustrations inside of you came undone as you kissed him with all the fiery passion you could muster. You bit his lower lip, making him groan against your mouth. That was a sound you realized you'd love to hear on repeat. Your lips moved together in perfect harmony. Like they were made to fit each other.

His hand traveled to the back of your head into your hair as he pulled it softly, making you muffle a whimper into his mouth.

Miles pulled away for a split second to whisper with a smirk, "Cállate, hermosa. But I'm down if you want everyone to hear." His lips were hovering over yours, only seconds away. You felt both of your chests heaving against one another, his breath overlapping yours. You were sure he could feel your heartbeat.

"Fuck you, Miles." You briskly closed the small distance between both of your lips once again before he could make a crude remark about how 'you'd like that'.

You spent the rest of the class period cooped up with him in the minimal space of the supply closet.

-----------

After school, you looked for Miles. Something you've been restraining yourself from doing over these past few months. However, you were hoping things were different now. In a good way. You'd think spending some quality time in a supply closet together would change things.

But as you looked across the courtyard, Miles was nowhere to be seen. You felt irritated with him once again, but you weren’t going to let him cut you out of his life for a second time.

So you did what any rational person would do. You visited his house to talk with him. You believed that if you had a decent conversation with him, it would fix what broke between the two of you. After all, his mother did tell you that you were always welcome there. His house was the place the both of you created a collection of memories. Memories that you stayed up late thinking about. Before it all went downhill. Knocking on the door, his mother answered it.

You greeted her with a smile, "Hola, Mrs. Morales! Is Miles here?" She gave you a knowing look. Mrs. Morales always did have a knack for knowing exactly what was going on.

Nodding her head, she told you "You caught him at a good time. He's been in and out with his Uncle lately. Come on in." She promptly led you inside the house.

"Gracias, Mrs. Morales." You told her before you made a beeline for Miles' room. Stopping right in front of his door, you knocked. Silence came from the other side. "Miles, I'm going to come in. Please don't be naked." You covered your eyes with your palm as you opened his door.

You didn't hear any yells of protest, so you assumed it was safe to peek through your fingers. As you removed your hand from your face, you noticed he was climbing through his own window. But that's not what made you stop in your tracks. Rather, it was his attire. He wasn't naked by any means. Instead, he was wearing the infamous suit that you've seen on the news time and time again. Over the past few months. The correlation clicked in your brain. He wasn't purposely avoiding you for the last few months. His life was just turned upside down in more than one way. He turned into the Prowler.

He looked just as shocked as you while he climbed through his window. "Fuck, what are you doing here, mami?" He frantically asked.

Closing the door behind you, you said, "I came to speak to you, but it seems like all my questions are answered now." You felt numb.

He didn't have a response. He didn't know what to tell you. It was exactly what it looked like. There were no words exchanged, but much was said within those silent moments.

Breaking the silence, you exclaimed, "Y'know what? Forget it. Forget I came here. Matter of fact, forget we ever met." You just about had it. Miles, the one that used to walk you home, being the Prowler was not exactly something you predicted.

"You know I can't do that." He said. You started to back away from him, turning away. He grabbed your arm with a feather-like touch, despite wearing his steel claws. You knew he wasn't going to hurt you. Not physically, at least. "Just let me explain."

"What is there to explain? That you've been avoiding me for months because you're the Prowler? I don't think anything else needs to be said." You let out a faint melancholic chuckle.

He stared into your eyes as he removed his claws, gently grasping your shoulders. "Mami, just listen to me." He pleaded, "You understand now why I couldn't tell you. That's why I had to stay away. This business is the shit I can't have you affiliated with."

"If you don't want me affiliated, then don't join it." You snapped at him, pushing a finger into his chest.

Your response set off something inside of him as he blurted out, "I'm in love with you. Shit, I love you so fucking much. I always have. You're the only one that's ever on my mind, 'ight? If I permanently lost you, I'd never come back from that."

Those were precisely the words you've been waiting ages to hear. But not like this.

"Miles. I can't be a part of this. I don't want to do this 'back and forth' thing. I can't do this. Not with you." Turning your back on him again, you tried to hold your composure as you stepped away. Out of his grasp. You had no intention to break down in front of him. This time, you were the one walking away. You were going to be the one leaving him.

"Wait," He called out, his voice faltering. You were slipping through his fingers, right in front of his eyes. If he had to beg you to stay, so be it. Even after all that time apart, you've been the sole reason he woke up in the morning. He couldn't afford to let you leave him for good.

"Quédate conmigo, mami. Por favor. I can't lose you again." His voice trembled with desperation. Your steps hesitated, his words plunging knives directly into your heart. You've never seen him like this. And it was a sight you never wished to see again.

So you obliged. You might as well have taken what you said and thrown it in the trash. He had the ability to change your mind with only a few words. Turning back to him, you wrapped your arms around his neck in a tight embrace. He reciprocated as he enveloped your waist with his arms.

You buried your face in his neck as you whispered, "Don't fucking do that again. Don't shut me out." You placed a light kiss on it. You continued, "I love you too, Miles." removing your face from his neck to stare up into his eyes.

"I promise, mami. It's only ever been you." He softly said, pressing his lips to yours. You kissed back with just as much delicacy.

You were aware it was an incredibly dangerous business Miles was involved in. For him, you'd give up anything. You hadn’t a clue what being involved with the Prowler would exactly entail. It was something you both would have to figure out together.

Your relationship was by no means perfect. But you were both learning. As long as it was with him, you wouldn't have it any other way.

-----------

¿Cómo está mi ángel hoy? - How's my angel today?

Princesa - Princess

Adiós/Chao - Bye

Cállate - Shut up, be quiet

Hermosa - Beautiful

Quédate conmigo - Stay with me

Por favor - Please

There were days like this, where everything was grey for no reason.

The sky rolling with clouds, heavy with rain, threatening with thunder, for sure wasn’t helping. But Andrew couldn’t pretend that it was at fault. Nor was the season, spring was on the horizon after all. There were boughs staining the branches, the first flowers blooming, the air a little warmer, the wind calmer than the winter storm. The birds had been chirping all morning, even if they had quietened now, under the menace of rain. He should be happy. The sun was high this morning, he had gotten some work done at Alex’s, he had had a nice lunch with his parents. Nothing but positive things, in theory.

And yet Andrew could feel his skin crawling, the tears that threatened to rise and spill, the numbness that came with spleen. Christ, melancholy was such a bitch, sometimes.

It was a bad day, the voices in his head were louder than usual. Despite the distractions he couldn’t keep them down. He kept on thinking about the pieces of songs he had recorded this morning with Alex, and on the spot they sounded good. Now, all he had left was doubt. For sure, none of it was good enough, and his lyrics were all over the place, and they didn’t do the subject justice… the didn’t do you justice…

He felt the burn in his eyes and the tightening in his throat again, his breathing grew more laboured, so he took a deep breath. He was driving, now was not the time…

And yet the thoughts were still there. As he entered his tiny town, the swirling of voices kept shouting.

Not good enough…

Don’t know how to write a proper song…

Got lucky with one song, will never be good enough again…

Imposter…

He entered his driveway, parked the car there. He didn’t notice your car until he was turning his head towards the front door.

Fuck…

He wasn’t in the mood for socialising, for pretending that everything was alright, for playing perfect boyfriend…

Another person you’ll end up disappointing…

Another thing in your life you don’t deserve…

He closed his eyes for a moment, tried to shush the voices. Just voices. It was just his busy head being louder than usual.

He just needed to calm down…

Damn, he should have called to cancel for tonight. You had a date night planned, you had told him you would come to his place early to start preparing dinner. You weren’t living together but he had a change of keys to your place, and you had one to his. He didn’t need to be home for you to come in.

Yesterday, Andrew was thinking about asking you to move in with him, to make a common home out of his large house.

She’d never say yes to you anyway…

He clenched his jaw, until his teeth gritted.

Just voices. Just voices. He was okay, he was fine…

It was just dinner, and it would be lovely. He loved you, he would have a great time…

He blinked his eyes open, brushed the wetness from his eyelashes.

Put on a brave face for her, come on…

He released some of the tension across his jaw, finally let go of the steering wheel. The soreness in his fingers made him realise how tightly he had been holding it.

He had no strength left in his body to open the car door, but he did it anyway. He was kind of used to it, the falls that followed the heights. It hadn’t happened in a long time. So bad, out of nowhere? Probably a year. Yeah, not long after the two of you started dating. It was pretty smooth after that. There were days when he didn’t feel great, but he didn’t feel terrible. With no energy left in his frame, no positive thoughts on his mind, no faith in himself, and no social battery either. Usually, when he felt like this, he simply locked himself up for a couple of days. The solitude usually helped. And now, he needed to be left alone, or at least he thought so. Besides, he would be in a terrible mood all evening, you would properly get tired of the sight and his sharp tone very quickly. And he didn’t want to take it out on you, it wasn’t fair, and he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t. He was too tired to be angry anyway.

He unlocked the front door, was welcomed by the smell of spices. It should have made him smile, but instead, his heart clenched.

He took off his shoes and jacket, slowly, too slowly. Any other day he would have hurried to join you.

Tonight, all he wanted was to be alone, to not talk to anyone, to get out of his clothes that felt like a burden too heavy to carry, and get under the covers, and lie there for the rest of the night, and maybe throughout tomorrow too.

Instead, he walked to his kitchen, nervously rubbing at his palms. God, he bet he looked terrible. He didn’t have a hair tie, and his hair was frizzy with the humid air, and he felt so fucking ugly when he entered the room, knowing he looked like a mess in sweatpants and an old t-shirt when you looked stunning, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen…

You didn’t seem to notice, because when you saw him, you let out an excited gasp and hurried into his arms.

Why did the feeling of you in his embrace make him want to cry?

“Hi, baby! How was your day?”

He cradled the back of your head in his large hand, gently, as if you could break under his touch. He rested his lips on the top of your head, took a deep breath of your shampoo, the scent so familiar, so soothing, so reassuring…

He closed his eyes.

It lasted a couple of seconds, and then the voices were back.

One day she’ll see you can’t make her happy…

He pulled away.

“Good,” he answered elusively, forcing a smile, but he knew it was tight-lipped. “Busy.”

“Did you get some work done with Alex, then?”

“Hmm… loads.”

“Good! You must be tired then, you can sit down, I’m almost done!”

He looked at the meal you were making for the two of you. You had set up the table, had even lit up some candles. It was fucking nice, so damn romantic…

“Smells amazing,” he complimented, but you seemed to notice that there was no light left in his voice. “Gonna take a shower before joining you, okay?”

“Sure! But… you’re okay, honey?”

Honey… Honey…

“Yeah, just… tired. Long day. I won’t take long.”

You nodded, offering a smile and he did his best to give it back.

He thought the shower would help, but it didn’t. He almost let the floodgates open while the warm water numbed his muscles, made his body feel like it wasn’t there at all. He had even less strength as he walked out of the shower. But at least, now, he was wearing a shirt and black jeans, and he had tied his hair in a low bun, looking close to presentable. He was wearing his glasses, he didn’t have the energy to put some contacts on.

When he entered the kitchen again, you had poured some red wine, were humming to a tune he didn’t know, checking the cooking of your vegetables.

“Almost done! Perfect timing!” you announced with pride.

“Thank you for cooking tonight,” he let out in a breath.

He knew his shoulders were bent, he knew you had noticed the way he was trying to look as small as possible. He read it in your frown. He nervously rubbed at his collarbone, felt irritated now.

She’s doing all this for you, you can’t get mad for nothing. It’s not her fault, calm down.

He sat down, as you invited him to do so. You brought food a couple of minutes later, and he asked you about your day. But unlike any other day, it wasn’t out of genuine curiosity and fondness; he simply didn’t want to speak.

He had done a good job at playing pretend the rest of the day, but he had no energy left to keep the mask on. The cracks were all over his features, in every forced smile, in every glance, in every blinking of tears. Your food was delicious, he complimented you on it, forced himself to swallow it fully, even if he felt like he might throw up if he kept on eating.

“Andy?”

He looked up again, noticing all of a sudden that he hadn’t paid attention to the conversation in a few minutes.

“Hmm?”

“Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”

You offered him a kind smile, reached for his hand across the table. An anchor, an intimate gesture of support.

His throat tightened, he couldn’t find his voice.

“Baby… it’s just me. Why are you all closed up all of a sudden?”

He gave you a sad smile, although he had aimed for it to be reassuring.

“Just…”

Just tired was the excuse, but then again, he didn’t feel like lying now. Didn’t have the strength for it. Maybe if he were honest now, you’d show him the voices were right, you’d realise what a loser he could be sometimes, how you should leave…

Shut! Up!

“It’s just… it’s just a bad day.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing. I mean… nothing in particular, I just… I don’t know… sometimes my head gets messy with thoughts for no reason. I’ve been working a lot for the past couple of months, it’s more frequent when I’m tired.”

Slowly, you nodded.

“It’s pretty bad today, right?” you asked, and he nodded.

“I’m sorry. Your meal is truly delicious, and I was really excited about having a date night. I know I’m kind of… fucking up the mood.”

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

“Isn’t it?” he asked with bitterness in his voice, and he clenched his jaw at the sound.

He wouldn’t let himself get angry against you. He was in love with you. So fucking much. And you didn’t deserve that.

“There’s nothing wrong with feeling down sometimes, Andy.”

He looked down at his empty plate.

“It’s a bit worse than that.”

He heaved a sigh.

“I’m fine though, it just… It just needs to pass. I’ll be back to normal in a couple of days.”

“What do you usually do when something like that happens?”

“Erm… I just… shut down, basically. Wallow in self-pity for a while,” he tried to joke, managed to get a smile out of you. “I just… lock myself up on my own until I feel really low, and then I go out, and… it lingers a few days, sometimes a few weeks, but by then I can put a mask on again.”

“Do you put that mask on with me?”

“It hadn’t been so bad in a long time.”

“And when it’s not as bad?”

He shrugged.

“There’s no need to worry you about that.”

You raised an eyebrow, unimpressed.

“I’m your girlfriend. I tell you when I’m unwell.”

He started rubbing at his collarbone again, until the skin turned a bright shade of red.

“I don’t particularly enjoy talking about it,” he replied, his tone dry and distant.

“But I… you know you can trust me, right? That you can talk with me about these things…”

“I know… It just doesn’t help. I know how to handle this, I’m fine. I promise.”

Slowly, you nodded, but he could feel that your silence was a bad sign.

“So… usually, you just… spend time alone?”

“Yeah.”

“And it helps.”

“Yeah… yeah, it does. I just… I’m kind of introverted, in case you haven’t noticed,” he gave you a small smile. “I recharge my batteries when I’m alone.”

You seemed to be thinking for a few seconds, and then you were standing. He looked up at you in surprise.

“I should leave you alone, then.”

“Wh… what?”

“You said you needed to be alone… you should have told me, I would have let you have a moment on your own. It’s fine. I get it, if that’s what you need.”

He blinked up, not fully registering what you were doing. His brain jumped to the worst-case scenario, as per usual.

“Are you… are you breaking up with me?”

“What?! Of course, not!”

“You… you’re leaving…”

“Because you said you needed to be on your own for the evening. That’s okay. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

You heaved a sigh, took his hand in yours.

“Andy, I’m very happy with you. I know you love me. There’s nothing wrong in needing to spend some time on your own. You should have just told me. I’ll give you some space for tonight.”

You took his face in your hands, dropped a gentle kiss to his lips.

“I love you, baby,” you whispered as you pulled away. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

And with that you left the room. He heard you fumbling with your things in the hallway.

Being alone was what he needed. He had always longed to take a step back from everyone, even his partners, when he felt like this.

Except that tonight he didn’t want you to leave. He didn’t want to be alone. He wanted to hold you as tightly as he could, and cuddle in bed, and just forget about the world outside your arms, let you hold him until he couldn’t have a single thought anymore…

He jumped to his feet, rushing across the house as you put on your coat.

“Don’t go.”

The plea cut the air like a knife.

He blinked tears away.

“Please, don’t go. I don’t want you to go,” he confessed.

“But you said…”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I won’t be mad if you want to take the night for yourself.”

“Y/N. I don’t. Want you. To go.”

He struggled to swallow back the lump in his throat.

“Please… please, don’t leave.”

You stared at him for a moment, motionless. But then you put your coat back on its hanger, took off your shoes.

When you walked back to him, he almost started to cry.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes… please…”

Before you could say anything else, he was holding you in a tight embrace, one that you quickly reciprocated.

“What do you want us to do, then?” you asked, rubbing his back, and for the first time that day, he felt his muscles relax.

“Honestly… I just want to go to bed, cuddle with you and not move until… the end of the month.”

You laughed, kissing his shoulder through his shirt.

“Well, we’ll have to get up before that I’m afraid… but cuddling for the rest of the evening sounds nice.”

He heaved a relieved sigh.

“I’m sorry, I’m fucking up our date night… it was so lovely of you to cook and everything…”

“It’s okay. It’s fine.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Of course not.”

“Good… that’s grand…”

He finally pulled away, took your hand to guide you to his bedroom. The dishes would have to wait for tomorrow.

He got ready for bed first, and then waited for you. And while he was looking at you as you moved around the bed, plugging in your phone, setting up an alarm for the morning, drinking some water… all he wanted was to hold you close. You were the first person who made him feel that way. Who made him long for companionship even when he felt so low…

… and then, you were in bed, opening your arms for him to settle in your embrace, letting him bury his face in the crook of your neck.

ㅤ

ㅤ

“how much longer are you going to make y/n carry your 6-foot ass?” yeonjun asks while placing a variety of drinks on the table. you hear beomgyu and kai cackle from the kitchen, and taehyun lets out a soft chuckle himself. soobin was currently wrapped around you like a koala, waddling around with you as you tried to help the boys set up.

“they’re not even carrying me!” soobin exclaims, “and they don’t mind either... right baby?” you chuckle and shake your head. “no, I don’t mind at all.” soobin makes a face at the others and finally releases himself from you. “I have to use the bathroom really quick!” he kisses your cheek and walks towards the bathroom.

beomgyu and kai return from the kitchen and place bowls of popcorn on the table. “yah, y/n, I don’t know how you deal with him.” beomgyu teasingly looks at you with pity. kai nods in agreement, “I can’t believe he’s even showing this much pda around us, it’s almost adorable.” he says. “that means he’s too comfortable with us, we should change that.” taehyun chimes in, making everyone laugh.

“guys, leave him alone,” you whine, “it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.” yeonjun walks up to you and dramatically grabs both of your hands. “and what about us y/n? did you not miss your sweet junie?” you all start giggling as the rest of the boys join in and start doing aegyo. “yeah! what about your cutie beombu, hmm?” soon the room goes silent as you hear the bathroom door close. soobin walks in giving death glares to everyone in the room, except you, of course. “papa rabbit has arrived, guys.” taehyun says playfully.

“leave y/n alone, seriously,” soobin walks over to separate you and yeonjun, “you all are a bunch of pests.”

eventually, you all sit down to finally watch the movie. there was no actual hostility in the room, and the boys were just teasing soobin. he knew that. it wasn’t anything new, but sometimes you would glance over at him to find an unreadable expression on his face.

later that night, you and soobin are both sitting on his bed after finishing up your skincare routines. you get ready to turn off the table lamp until you notice him sulking. “hey, what’s wrong?” you ask. he glances at you before responding, “nothing…” you can tell that he’s not actually upset with you. you’ve comforted him enough times to know when he’s truly struggling with something, but still, you know that there’s something on his mind.

you slowly crawl into his lap and see him turn his head in the opposite direction. “baby? honey?” you tickle his sides softly, smiling as you watch him try his hardest not to smile. “I know you’re not actually upset with me,” you begin, “you’re sulking about something.” you wrap your arms around his neck and place a soft kiss on his cheek. “please tell me, bunny.” the nickname makes his lips twitch as he finally looks over at you. “i’m mad at yeonjun.”

your eyes widen for a second before asking, “what? why?” his pout deepens. “he was flirting with you…” a small chuckle slips out of your mouth, causing him to sulk again and try to get up. “no, no, i’m sorry.” you wrap your arms even tighter around him, preventing him from leaving. “I won’t laugh anymore, I promise.”

“but…” you begin, “what about beomgyu? you aren’t mad at him?” you ask. soobin thinks for a second. “i’ve learned to tune him out...” he admits, making you both giggle.

this was your first time seeing soobin jealous, and you could tell that he didn’t exactly know how to handle it. truthfully, you didn’t either. part of you thought that it was cute, definitely a little funny considering it was about yeonjun, but you also knew that soobin was an overthinker. you knew that you had to put an end to whatever he was thinking before it went too far.

“you know they weren’t really flirting, right?” you ask quietly, not wanting to make the mood too awkward. “they do it to be funny, or mess with you, that’s all.” soobin nods and looks down, suddenly becoming more interested in a stray thread on your pajama pants.

“could you wrap your arms around me, please?” you ask, you’d been sitting on his lap the entire time while his arms were off to the side. he looks at you and immediately relaxes after seeing your eyes full of adoration. even if he wanted to be mad at you, he couldn’t. he wraps his arms around you and sighs in content.

“I love you, soobin.” you stroke his cheek softly. “the love of my life. my entire world. I know the boys are just messing with you and deep down you know it too, but even if it were a stranger on the street, I still wouldn’t pay them any mind.” you explain to him. “there’s no need, because I have everything i’ve ever dreamed of right here.”

“you are the only one I love, yesterday, today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life.” you finish. soobin buries his head in your neck as you slip your hands under his shirt to rub circles on his back. “my soob, my home.” soon enough, you feel tears on your shoulder and soobin’s body starting to shake. “oh baby... hey, please look at me...” you lift his head and the sight nearly makes you melt. a red nose, puffy cheeks, and tear-stained eyes staring back at you with all the love in the world. you wipe his tears as he apologizes.

“i’m sorry.” he sniffles. “don’t apologize.” you reassure him, trying not to cry yourself. “no really, I overreacted and I just-” you nod, encouraging him to continue. “it wasn’t about yeonjun… I was just scared of losing you.” he explains. a few seconds pass before he continues. “for a split second, I imagined a moment where you really left me for someone else… and it absolutely killed me.” soobin chokes up once again. “and here you are… treating me so gently… like i’m the most precious thing on earth… I just started getting emotional.”

“I really love you,” he confesses, “I love you so much, baby.” at this point, your attempts to stay sane are thrown out the window. “noooo, angel…” he frowns at the sight of you crying, wiping your tears just like you wiped his. “i’m sorry.” he whines. you give him a knowing look and he chuckles. “right, no apologizing!”