🏺 Epimetheus 🏺

Honeymoon is off to a rocky start. My beloved Pandora, sweet as she is, is accursed with a most curious mind. Upon our pending nuptials, Zeus conveyed to us through Hermes, a most pleasing jar. At least, at first it was pleasing. Hermes bade we not open it and I, being so obedient, conceded. But my dearest Pandora could not help her curiosity. She lifted the lid of that accursed jar and well…she set upon the world of man: a plague of miseries and chaos. 💀 I hate to be an unkind husband but she really screwed the pooch on this one. Luckily she stopped the lid back in and hope remains. I just pray the jar came with proof of purchase because this is one wedding gift I would like to return in exchange for a salad tosser.

Such wondrous news! Zeus hath sent down to me a most divine creation, known as a ‘woman’. Her name is Pandora and her charms are beguiling. Please do impart your blessings upon us. We are to be married! We are registered for gifts at the Jar Emporium. Can never have too many jars!