Alright Adrian

attitudinatively

I’m still waiting to learn what this means; a technical philosophical term. “..there is no satisfactory justification for supposing that the factual is, by definition, attitudinatively and motivationally neutral.” John McDowell, “Values and Secondary Qualities,” 1985.

barrel-assing

Driving dangerously fast. “The boys who go barrel-assing down my dirt road have a big white decal they blazon on their windshields that says NO FEAR.” Garrett Keizer, Harper’s, 2003.

beigelander

One who focuses on neutral colors and Safari themes in interior design. Reported to me by a friend.

cellardamp

The dampness or smell of a cellar. Coined by James Joyce in A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, 1916.

concretize

To organize ideas and make information clear. Merriam-Webster OnLine notes its first use in 1884.

freezation

A state of having been frozen; cold. A friend spontaneously coined this and Google can find several occurrences on the Web.

outstate

The region of a state in the U.S. outside of the state’s largest metroplitan area. The implication is that the residents of the largest metro area see themselves as the center of the state and need a term to describe the rest, such as “outstate Minnesota.” Perhaps this is more accurate than confusing terms such as “upstate New York,” where it sounds like it may refer to northern regions but often refers to the whole area outside of New York City, and “south Georgia,” that sounds like it may refer to the southern half of the state but is often used to describe any place south of Atlanta, including Macon, which is north of the geographic center.

paper street

A publicly owned right-of-way that has not been improved for access. Paper is often enclosed in quotation marks.

unexistable

The temperature of heaven can be rather accurately computed. Our authority is Isaiah 30:26, ”Moreover, the light of the Moon shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days.” Thus Heaven receives from the Moon as much radiation as we do from the Sun, and in addition 7*7 (49) times as much as the Earth does from the Sun, or 50 times in all. The light we receive from the Moon is 1/10,000 of the light we receive from the Sun, so we can ignore that… The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation, i.e., Heaven loses 50 times as much heat as the Earth by radiation. Using the Stefan-Boltzmann law for radiation, (H/E)^4=50, where E is the absolute temperature of the Earth (-300K), gives H as 798K (525C). The exact temperature of Hell cannot be computed … [However] Revelation 21:8 says ”But the fearful, and unbelieving … shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone.” A lake of molten brimstone means that its temperature must be at or below the boiling point, 444.6C. We have, then, that Heaven, at 525C is hotter than Hell at 445C. 

The year — probably ’95. The scene — the shop at the residence of my friend. He and I were hanging out as we often did, and we always acted silly. One of my jokes was completely unremarkable: I picked up the telephone handset, listened for a dial tone, and hung up. “It works,” I announced. Later that day, my friend’s sister came home, and she picked up a telephone, put it to her ear, said, “It works” — and she hung it up. Had she been spying on us? No, she was not even home at the time, it seemed. I think fate was just trying to amuse us. I hope so. (Or she did a good job of hiding.)

Later in life I became a telephone company technician. I often had to check dial tones. And then later the sister and I both went to law school.

From an undated document circa 1989:

The easiest kind of letter to write is one to someone you know well. You know what interests him and what doesn’t. There is little chance of his misunderstanding you, and since you share a common background, there are many things which can be left unsaid. There is no need to chew the end of your pen before beginning to write. The friendship which exists causes the ideas to flow.

When, however, your correspondent is unknown or scarcely known, when he comes from a different country and speaks a different tongue, when you know neither his interests nor his opinions, then the pen is apt to be nibbled for a considerable time. In this case you may find the following hints useful.

For the longest time I wanted to support local credit unions over the big greedy banks. Isn't it a great idea to be part of a community that owns your financial institution where you do your banking? However, over time it was hard to realize these supposed benefits, and the online banks were consistently better at meeting my financial needs. Some of the big banks became competitive by ditching their fees and employing the latest technology. In my experience, the credit unions became inconvenient, and one in particular made a really greedy move that I will never forgive.

The Gregorian calendar is awkward and arbitrary, but we are stuck with it. Anyone who tries an alternative calendar gives up on it after a while. Calendar reformists went full force with the French Republican Calendar and the Soviet Revolutionary Calendar, but those only lasted twelve and eleven years. The Eastman Kodak Company used the International Fixed Calendar for 61 years, but only for financial planning purposes.

I think about calendars every new year when there is excitement for the new year, yet I realize that the calendar change is really on an arbitrary date (rather than an astronomical event). I started thinking about calendars again at Easter because I'm always like, When is Easter this year?

The first thing that bugs me is that months are meaningless. I just found this quote:

A month is a wholly irrational division of time. It has no relation to anything in astronomy, or human experience. It is an inaccurate and varying measure of time that is a constant annoyance in business and a misleading unit in science. It has no religious significance. 

A month is nothing but just a bad habit. [Link.]

There was nothing more Athenian -- quintessential of the culture of Athens, Georgia -- that I could do that weekend in 2025 than go to a coffeehouse to interview a poet about her open-mic poetry experiences. Patty's perspective on identity, culture, language, and family have shaped my understanding of our society and our community. She explores themes that are relevant to all of us, but if we have not explored them ourselves, then we are not asking the right questions to better understand who we are.

Buvez Athens Coffeehouse is now closed, so I am grateful for this experience. I recall that I offered to pay for a bagel and a beverage with a credit card, and the barista took my card and swiped the magnetic strip like it was 1998 all over again.

Patty's poem "Tourist" really stands out as an experience I want to understand. As an immigrant, she is the product of two worlds but does not fully belong to either, in a sense. How do we find a sense of belonging? How do we make others feel that they belong or not?

I don’t want to make my bed this morning bc I’m not ready for that level of commitment to being awake

If they say “You’ll have to ask your daddy what that means” then definitely DO NOT go ask your daddy (advice for boys)

Frozen pancakes from the grocery store mean that somewhere in the world there’s a pancake factory and that’s a happy thought.

Forever paranoid that I’ll mistake the Facebook status field for the search field and then everyone will know what (or who) is “on my mind”

Drink 13 cups of coffee a day and no one says anything. Drink 1 Monster energy drink and suddenly everyone is concerned about your heart.

Waffle House coffee criteria: 1) Hot 2) A lot of it

It’s hard to communicate about your communication style when you’re not communicating

Me typing on phone: “So” — Predictive text options: “Sooo Soooooo Soooooooooo”

My usual response to my son calling “Daddy?” is to look around, act surprised, and say “Where?”

Did you know that there are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the sky?

How does love and romance work at a large public university? Actual text: “I’d give you a hug but there’s no parking over there.”

Every time I try to trace the word “sorry” on my Android keyboard, it comes up as “dirrrty.” Them: “I had a bad day.” Me: “I’m dirrrty.” <backspace> <backspace>

I just bought a ukulele and I’m learning how to spell it

A toilet bowl brush can be a back scratcher in a pinch (life hacks)

Analog alarm clocks assume you are going to sleep for less than 12 hours when you turn on the alarm

Relative at Thanksgiving: “So do you have a girlfriend?” Me: “Sometimes.”

Sitting around a campfire with two women, I mentioned Sigmund Freud’s crazy theories that assumed women anatomically cannot urinate on a fire. “Nah, I can piss on a fire.” “Me too.”

“I’d prefer to watch people die.” –Pre-med student … explaining why they’re pre-med instead of pre-vet … but still

Why are we not supposed to squeeze the teabag? What are the consequences?

Simple guide to finding a good time to call me on the phone… PM = yes AM = no!

I need sweatpants with belt loops

Why doesn’t my dishwasher have a window like the oven?

utilitarianism is when I swap my jalapeño potato chips with Robert’s barbecue chips because even though I don’t like either flavor Robert really likes jalapeño so at least he’s happier

Google popped out a travel notification saying “12 min to Home.” At midnight. While I was home. …What does Google know that I don’t?!

Live each day like you’re trying to make your yearly horoscope come true

I was surprised when I heard the doorbell ring because I didn’t know I had a doorbell.

Just read my diary entry from 1990 in which I talked about stopping my procrastination. … Guess I decided to work on that later?

There’s a place in heaven with a very long table, and laid out on it side by side is every lunch tray you ever had at school, with the food and milk carton on it just the way it looked when you sat down

This morning I found my wall clock had stopped overnight, so naturally I looked around the room for a dead body

My solution to the Rubik’s Cube includes a screwdriver. All I see are results.

You know how growth comes in spurts? So does aging. 2017 was the year I suddenly stopped getting carded for alcohol purchases. CashiersI just ask for my birthdate, like it’s an honor system now

Has anyone ever adopted a stray bullet?

The more flowers or cartoon characters on the check, the less money in the checking account. (I worked at a bank.)

Some folks complain about Christmas coming earlier every year but have you seen Ramadan on the calendar this year?

It might not be a novel idea, but it’s still an idea for a novel

Physics lesson: Whenever a body is submerged in water, the phone rings.

Uranus — “your anus” or “urine us” — either way, it’s the lose-lose of planet names

HVAC technician advice on air filters: If you can see through it, it’s not a filter.

“Eight, you’re great. Nine, you’re mine.” — Georgia state trooper on speeding

What time is it on the moon?

Holiday pro tip for next year: When school systems break for the holidays on different dates, you can just regift teacher gifts at the school that stays in session longer. You’re welcome.

I have three email accounts: 1) business 2) personal 3) VERY personal

You know how toothpaste tubes have a toll-free phone number on the back that invites “Questions?” Well here are my questions:

What kind of hosers have questions about toothpaste?

Do I use the whole tube of toothpaste each time I brush or what?

Why don’t you come out with orange juice-flavored toothpaste already?

If I’m going to spend this long on the toilet then I get to name it

Would the poll numbers shift if the word “president” were replaced with “immediate supervisor”?

“Personal lubricant” … as opposed to … public lubricant?

The wi-fi at Chi Phi should really be named Chi Fi but it isn’t

I wish milk was sold in 2-gallon jugs filled up only halfway. Then I could pour the first serving without spilling on the side.

Change machine light says “out of service when lit.” Yeah, bruh, me too.

My ATM gives me an option for English or Spanish. That’s pretty cool that it can print money in Spanish.

What’s the deal with flavored coffee? Coffee IS a flavor.

Slogans to promote texting over calling: “Text is bext.” “Typing is hyping.”

I don’t have a type, unless a woman who keeps her phone charged regularly is a type

I would live on Missile Base Road just so my address could be Missile Base Road.

“Moths” is hard to pronounce. We should say “mothren” instead.

I feel like if you buy a book on how to negotiate then you’ve already failed — you’ve been suckered into buying something extra

Santa Claus is so jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live