A lovely daze...

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I don’t speak of this with pride. I’m confessing that I stumble and need someone to be my guide.

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I’m not trying to be strong. I’m professing that I am weak and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I’m not bragging of success. I’m admitting I have failed and cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I’m not claiming to be perfect. My flaws are too visible but God believes I’m worth it.

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I still feel the sting of pain. I have my share of heartaches, which is why I seek HIS name.

When I say, “I am a Christian,” I do not wish to judge. I have no authority. I only know I’m loved.

I haven’t hated my body Since we broke up- Yet, I have sipped that beer You never wanted me to drink, And worn those baggy jeans you hated.

I haven’t kissed another man’s lips Since yours suffocated mine- Yet, I have danced in a bar To music that you’d call shallow With people that you’d despise.

I haven’t judged my family For faults that only you’d see, Yet, I have laid in their warm embraces While they dried my tears on their sleeves.

I haven’t stood in a corner crying on my birthday As you spit venom at me disguised as a whisper. Yet, I have laughed without guilt, And recognized my own voice.

I haven’t swallowed that pill You forced on me every night- Refusing to respect my wishes, And only caring about yours. Yet, I have found a new vice That comes in the form of pens and poetry.

I haven’t felt less than Since we broke up-

Yet, I have only begun To stitch and sew my torn insides back together, And forget the man who ripped them apart.