thick skin, elastic heart.

It was amazing the way their bodies seemed to remember each other so well, that as soon as they had come together again, it had all been instinctual in a way. No matter how long it had been, there were some things that they couldn’t forget, and apparently being together was one of them. Things were a little messier than before, a little different, but it was all so the same that it would have terrified them if they were in any state of mind to think at the moment. There was no room for any more thought besides the vague thought that she somehow felt even more perfect than she had ten years ago, like they had been craving her without truly realizing how much they needed her, like they had been waiting for this to feel anything like themself again. Kissing her, moving against her, made them feel more like the old them than they had in years, as if she had been the missing key all this time, and only now were they allowed to feel any of that again. It was a realization that none of their feelings for her had ever changed, no matter how much they had tried to ignore them all, for both of their sake, and now that they were allowed to act on them, it was like seeing clearly for the first time in ten years.

Her words just drove them even wilder, causing them to let out a loud moan in response, as if to tell her they felt the same, they had missed being inside of her just as much as she had missed them. Her lips on their ear sent a shiver through their body, but her words were enough to send them into a frenzy, never having heard something quite so sweet to their ears. They had been hoping they could last a little longer than this, that they could’ve at least brought her over the edge before themself, but it had been so long since they had been with anyone, and the feeling of her, the emotions attached to all of it, combined with the words she said, it was all too much. They had gotten better at their self control, but this had every single one of their defenses shot, overwhelmed with the feeling of her. It only took a few more thrusts, feeling the pleasure build more and more, before the explosion of pleasure washed over them, making them come wildly with a loud moan, closing their eyes, burying their face in her neck, holding her impossibly close. Their movements were deep and intense as they rode out the waves of their orgasm, their mind blissfully blank of any thoughts but thoughts of Alice. It was hard for them to remember a time when they had felt something so intensely emotional, a pleasure so pure, but they were glad to have it now.  

It felt like the orgasm went on for a small eternity, so fantastically beautiful, as if their body was just as grateful at the chance to be wholly connected to Alice again as they were themself. It took a long moment before they finally could think clearly again, until they realized everything that had just happened. When it all washed over them, that it was all real, that they were here with Alice, feeling things they had thought were impossible for them to feel anymore, it made a laugh bubble up in their chest, shaking their body, even as they pressed kiss after kiss to her lips, her cheeks, her ears, her neck. When they finally paused to look at her, the grin on their lips was half-bashful, but mostly satisfied, amazed. “Sorry about that,” they laughed a little, out of breathe, still moving their hips slowly, riding out the last few waves of pleasure. “It’s your turn next,” Ted muttered, pressing another kiss to her lips, this one a little messy, lazy, in the post-orgasm haze of bliss.

Her moans, paired with theirs, filled the entire room. Alice was glad they had been the first after so long, that nothing before this had worked out. In a way, besides Frank and then Andromeda, they had been the only one. It was only logical that this felt so intense now, ten years after everything. Despite what had happened her body and Ted were like magnets, inevitably attracted to each other no matter how far they tried to run. They had both tried to deny it, because of anger, and guilt; believing feelings between them were no longer possible. Who could have blamed them? The attack had taken away most of her happy memories, and Azkaban had stolen theirs. They were broken people, and at some step of the way they had stopped believing that perhaps they could help fix each other. Things were changing now, though. This wasn’t only about sleeping together - though the burning desire they had for each other was obviously undeniable - but about giving themselves a chance to feel everything again. It wasn’t going to be like before, of course. Too many things had changed, people were gone; but the fact that it wasn’t different didn’t necessarily meant it was going to be worse like they both had initially thought. 

The possibility of creating a new family, strange, spontaneous, but all in all loving; was one that would have bring Alice to tears if her brain had been thinking of anything else other than the pleasure their movements were giving her. They both needed people to lean on, hell, Nymphadora and Neville needed that as well. Suddenly this didn’t seem like such a bad idea after all. Then again, she wasn’t really in a place to make a decision right now as they moved in and out of her, moaning loudly. She held onto them, brief sounds of pleasure leaving her mouth, following the rhythm of their thrusts. It was almost unbelievable how they managed to fit so perfectly inside of her, to touch every soft spot and making her toes curl and her arousal grow more and more intense by the second. Her moans became louder and louder as her need for release grew, as her lips kissed every bit of them they could find; their jaw, their earlobe, and their neck. 

She was aware that they weren’t going to last long after she said those words to them, but she didn’t mind. She didn’t plan this to be the end, at least not today. If after this morning they decided it was better to stay as friends, then that would be that - but in the meantime she had no doubts they were going to catch up with ten years of missing each other like this. As their movements became more frenzied and intense, so did hers. Alice was able to anticipate the moment they came inside of her, exploding in a mess of sloppy thrusts and moans. “Yes, baby, like that.”, she whispered breathlessly against their lips, kissing them, helping them ride out the waves of their intense orgasm. They stayed like that for a moment, them still inside of her, kissing her everywhere; her with her arms tightly wrapped around their neck, moving her hips softly against them, both their kisses mixed with smiles and laughter. When they finally spoke again, she got off their lap and laid next to them, breathing heavily. “Don’t worry Tedward, that was fantastic.” Alice raised an eyebrow as they kissed her again, a little smirk on her lips. “You bet it’s my turn next, because I’m still so wet for you. And we definitely need to do something about that.”

This whole thing, finally being with Alice again, being laid bare in front of each other, honest, every imperfection accepted by the other, it felt a whole lot like coming home. It was a reminder of how much they had always loved Alice, still loved her, even if they were too afraid to admit that out loud for fear of what it might mean for them both. The desire they had to be with her was about more than just the physicality of it, but the act of being together again like this was bringing forth all of the things that they had thought they had lost long ago, forgotten feelings they didn’t believe they were capable of any longer. Before, they had been someone so full of love, always ready to freely give it to anyone who came across their path. They had been open with their affection even more so with the three people they had loved most in the world. They had thought, though, that that was long gone, with them or otherwise. In reality, though, it seemed like their body had just been waiting for a sign to be allowed to have some of that vulnerability again. It had to be one of them, it had to be Alice. There was never going to be anyone else who could make them feel like this anymore, not after everything, and they hadn’t even thought this would be possible. But here they were, feeling more like their old self than they had since being released from Azkaban.

No matter how much everything about both of their lives had changed, they were now realizing that no matter how much they had tried to deny it, ignore it, their own feelings for Alice had never wavered. They had fought that feeling so much, but it was impossible to kept it below the surface once she had showed up at the door a mess, everything going back to feeling so easy after they had had a chance to talk to her, to apologize even in their own way. She had somehow shown them that maybe it was worth the risk, to have even an ounce of what they had had together before, to have something of the family they had shared back then. Nothing was going to be simple, in fact, it was going to be so infinitely complicated once they were outside of the comfort of their bedroom that they were afraid they were going to let her down again, but it was worth it to try. She had been through so much pain and hurt, so much of it because of them, and they wanted to show her that they could be better. And maybe in turn that would help them realize that it was possible to be more than the pain of the past, to be more than all of the horrible things they had done, were still doing. This was all so much more than just being intimate again after so long, it was an expression of their belief in each other, and the belief that maybe they could have a future.

The tenderness of her words, despite the intensity of what their bodies were doing, just confirmed all of that for Ted. She was here, and she wasn’t going anywhere; and they planned on doing just the same for her, now. Somewhere along the way they had gotten too proud to admit when they needed help, when what they were doing wasn’t enough, when things felt hopeless, but here they were now, ready to give up that pride if it meant Alice would be there, in anyway she wanted to be there. And in that moment what they wanted was exactly what their body was begging for, her. Her laugh made them smile fondly at her as her hand went to their cheek, a smile that turned into a gasp when her hand found their length, preparing them for exactly what they both needed. The moan they let out as she slid down on them, her wetness surrounding them finally, was absolutely obscene. “You feel so fucking good, Allie,” they managed to breathe. Somehow, after so many years without her, they had forgotten the perfection of being inside of her, feeling her around them, moving against her. And they wasted no time in starting to move, a little slowly, in and out, the noises coming from their mouth, caught in between her lips as they kissed her desperately as loud and passionate as they had been ten years ago. They knew they weren’t going to be able to last long, not when their body was experiencing something it hadn’t felt in so long, overwhelmed with the sensation of her.

Alice wasn’t a person who was left speechless much too often. She would usually find both words an explanation for everything that happened in her life, especially after the attack. She needed that reassurance her memory wasn’t able to give her. If her brain was refusing to work properly, she was going to force it to. However, she could certainly say there were no words to explain how exactly she was feeling right now, her lips covered by Ted’s kisses, feeling them inside of her after so long. Both their movements were clumsier than before, obviously. It had been ten years, and despite how much they wanted each other, their bodies need to get used to each other again. Nonetheless, it felt exactly like it had the last time they had been together - though she could barely remember when that had been. It wasn’t just about how every single one of their movements seemed to fit together perfectly, in spite of how unpolished they were, it was about the way her heart couldn’t stop beating, how complete they were making her feel, as if her own body had been asleep for an eternity and they were here to awaken it, as if their kisses were breathing life into her bones. 

If it hadn’t been obvious by now, it couldn’t be denied that despite everything that had happened between them, despite their silence, everything they had chosen to do, and her anger, her initial decision to push them away from her life, frank’s and neville’s; her feelings for them were intact. She still loved Ted, and that was the reason she had decided to run to them last night, when everything had seemed to fall apart again, when every single wall looked like it was closing on her. They had been her salvation, and apparently without meaning to, she had been theirs as well. Alice didn’t really want to think of what was going to happen after this, how on Earth they were going to make whatever they were doing work in a wold filled with danger still, where they were an executioner and she was an official of the law looking for a way to stop this terrible regime they were working for. It was going to be complicated, more than that, it was going to be a mess. She didn’t care about that, though. The only thing on her mind was to keep feeling like this, to take as much of them as she could and let them do the same with her. 

“Fuck.”, she moaned under her breath as they both started moving, their pace borderline desperate. Despite her lack of memory, she knew Ted’s boy enough to notice how fast their arousal was building up. They weren’t going to last long before they needed their release, and she wasn’t sure she was going to get there first. She didn’t mind, though. There was going to be time to improve their time. All she cared now was to be with them, the feeling of them inside of her, of their arms surrounded her and their bodies pressed together, moving faster and faster. She responded to every hungry kiss in kind, tongues moving against each other, teeth catching their bottom lip from time to time, softly moaning in between. “Ted- I-I’ve missed how you feel inside me.”, she practically whimpered into their kisses. “I’ve missed you so much.” Her lips went to their jaw, then up to their earlobe as she whispered, “You can come. I want you to come for me baby.”

It had been such a long time since they had done anything like this, but as their fingers pushed inside of her, instinct and desire took over, and it was so easy to remember exactly what it was that Alice liked, just in the same way she seemed to be doing the same with them. There were some things that not even time or memory loss could take away, and they were glad to know that this was one of them. They were also glad to have the chance to make new memories of this nature with her, when they had never expected to have this chance. In the back of their mind, they liked to think that even if this was the last chance they had with her, it would be worth it, but they already knew that this was just the beginning now. Now that the line had been crossed, the unspoken agreement changed to this, there was no going back, and Ted wasn’t sure they could’ve even if they wanted to, even already just remembering how she felt as their fingers moved, coaxing a moan from her lips. They had missed that sound more than they could describe, and they were already thinking of the million other ways they could get her to make that sound again. The first of which was exactly what they were doing now.

Lips on her ear, finding that she still had the same weakness that she had held ten years ago. Even better than that reaction, though, were the words that she whimpered against their skin, a little shaky and muffled, but oh-so attractive. And there was no way that they were going to say no to something like that, especially when they felt the exact same way. As soon as the words had left her mouth, they stopped what they were doing in favor of ridding them both of the little clothing left that was keeping them from having what they were both so in need of. They were honestly surprised that they managed not to rip either of their underwear as their hands moved, quickly enough to be a little clumsy. Their thoughts were positively racing as they finally freed both themself and her of their clothing, a dozen reasons they knew they shouldn’t do it, but a dozen more powerful ones for why they should. It wasn’t fair to worry about what would happen on the outside, wasn’t fair to let the world dictate whether or not they were allowed to try for a bit of happiness. They both deserved this chance, and Ted felt in their very soul that this was the start of getting at that for both of them, a chance to fix what had gone wrong, a chance for that happiness they had thought they had lost all those years ago.

So they pushed all of the potential complications aside for this moment, instead focused on her, on relearning her body, of feeling that closeness they had missed so much. “I’ve missed feeling you so much, Allie. I need you, I don’t know why I tried to tell myself I didn’t,” they muttered, before bringing their lips together in a deep, hungry kiss, as their hand moved down her body, tracing her curves. They kissed her long and hard, moving under her, needy for more friction, more contact, even as their arousal moved against her bare skin. It only lasted for a moment, though, because they felt the same as her; they couldn’t wait any longer, not when they had waited ten years to have her again. Their hand moved to their hardness, positioning themself at her entrance, unable to keep back the moan they let out even just from feeling her wetness. Before pushing into her, they pulled back from the kiss to look her in the eye, the desire clear in their look. “We’re doing this now, yeah?” they asked, a little laugh in their voice, already knowing the answer, just from her previous words, but needing to make sure, almost as if they thought the moment they let themself have what they both wanted, she would just disappear, a fantasy too good to be true. 

The second they were finally free from the rest of their underwear, Alice couldn’t help but hum in pleasure. It had been so long since they had been like this, completely naked, bare against each other; and she had missed it so much. It wasn’t even about the sex itself, or the fact that after years she was finally feeling this kind of desire again and now she could hardly wait - it was about the fact that it was Ted she was with. She wanted them, and no one else. Perhaps that had been the reason this hadn’t worked in the past; the reason why her guilt and the memories she still had hadn’t allowed her to go further. Despite everything that had happened, she knew this was also what Frank would have wanted. If he never woke up - which was looking more and more possible by the day - he would have wished for her and Ted to reunite, to find a way together, to salvage what was left of their strange and crazy family that had known how to be happy once upon a time. 

She wanted it too. Not just because of Frank, but for herself. Even though her feelings towards Ted had been complicated throughout the years, despite having blaming them first, and then being angry at them because they hadn’t been there when she had needed them the most; things were different now. She understood why they had done what they did, and she had also realised that in spite of everything, her feelings for them had never changed. She had been willing to live with that before, keeping it quiet, giving them time to heal and recover - but not anymore. Not when they were giving her hope like this, when she knew she could help them, when it was so obvious there was still good and love inside them. Alice wasn’t going to give up now. It was going to take time, and it was going to be complicated and messy. There was no way things were going to be the same as before; but they didn’t need to be. They could make new memories together, along with Dora, and Neville. They could be a family once more. That was exactly what Ted and Dora needed - a family, people to believe in them, and be there for them as much as they were there for each other. 

“I missed you, too.” Alice muttered between kisses, voice tender. “That doesn’t matter. I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere. If you need me, you can have me. In any way you want.” That was the truth. If after this they decided they needed her as a friend, she was going to understand, and she wasn’t going to push it. By the looks of it though, friendship was the last thing on Ted’s mind as well. The way they kissed her, hard and hungrily, and their hands tracing every inch of her body made it clear that they wanted her as much as she wanted them. As her hips grinded against theirs, her wet entrance brushing their arousal, she moaned between their lips. That feeling alone was going to make her come in the stop if they keep it up. They both wanted more though, that much was obvious. Alice chuckled softly when they pulled back, ready to push into her. “Apparently we are doing this, yes.” One of her hands went to their cheek, cupping it gently. The other moved to their hardness, already positioned at her entrance. She moved up and down their length, getting them ready for her. “Hey, it’s okay baby.” She whispered, her voice soft, as she kissed them slowly. “I don’t care how long it’s been. I want you. I’ve never stopped.” Then she let go, and slid down, moaning their name as they buried themself inside of her.

Her laugh had always been one of their many favorite things about her, the way it bubbled up from such a place of joy, a sound that could clear clouds away, and as she laughed along with them, they realized just how much they had missed that laugh for so long. They had forgotten what it sounded like, the Dementors having sapped them of that memory just the way they had taken away the image of Andromeda’s smile. But they had it here now, and the sound made them feel at home, warm and safe in a way that took them back to before everything was ruined, before it all got so complicated. It reminded them of other times they had shared together, giggling and kissing and touching each other like they were teenagers discovering each others’ bodies for the first time. This felt a lot like that, actually. Their muscle memory knew what to do, even if their mind was still trying to remember everything about being with Alice, but still if felt a lot like they were both young again, doing this sort of thing for the first time together. A little nervous, a little embarrassed, but the desire outweighing all of that.

Her kiss was all the confirmation that they needed, the way she moved her body against theirs proof that she didn’t care how long it had been since they had done any of this, that she just wanted them now. They were surprised to hear that she hadn’t been with anyone else since then, they had assumed that at some point she had tried to move on, even in some small way, and it sounded like she had, but it hadn’t gone well. Part of them was glad in a way, a selfish way, that she hadn’t been able to. It was self-centered to think, but they were glad that they were doing this together, that even after all of this time, they both still felt something that they had then, and that even when Alice had been alone without any of them, that they had all still meant something. And they were well aware that part of their own reasoning had been that their feelings had never changed, no matter what else about them did.

“I don’t think it was meant to be with anyone but you, either. But I’m not sure I can take things slow,” they said, the last word turning into a moan as she moved against them, guiding their hand up to her breast. Her own words were a mixture of moans and heavy breaths, and that along with the feeling of her brought back a rush of memories, of how they always seemed to fit together so perfectly, voices mingling to make beautiful music. With permission for this to be just what it would be with the two of them, it having been so long with all of them, they decided that it wasn’t worth it to waste anymore time. Ted kissed her again, hungry and open-mouthed, as their other hand moved to between her legs, only teasing for a second before pushing the material of her underwear aside to give their fingers access to her. It was impossible to keep the too-loud moan from escaping their lips as they felt her for the first time in ten years. Their lips moved a trail of kisses up her jaw to her earlobe, nibbling for a second before saying, “I just want you now, Allie.”

Many people would have found her lack of worrying strange. The fact that she wasn’t thinking about how it had been ten years since both of them had done something like this, that perhaps their bodies wouldn’t fit like they used to. They were different people now. Ted was slimmer, their arms were stronger, their shoulders broader - Azkaban and Lily Evans’ job had shaped their body the way it had been useful to them. Hers was different. Her frame was pretty much the same it had been ten years ago, but she was now more scarred, her bones definitely more tired. None of that seemed to matter now, and that was the exact reason she wasn’t worried at all. From the moment they had kissed, she had felt it all back, as if time hadn’t gone by. They wanted each other like they did the very first time they had touched. It wasn’t really important how long it had been, or even how good it was going to be; they needed each other desperately - she needed to be with them, to be able to give herself one more chance at happiness. It was obvious she wasn’t going to get that with anyone else, and she didn’t want to either. 

Nonetheless, Alice understood why they could be worried - and she was ready to slow things down if that was what Ted needed. Despite her resolve, when they told her they didn’t want to stop, she couldn’t deny she felt relieved. Their moans mimicking hers only helped turning her on even further, her movements on top of them becoming faster and more desperate. Their arousal pressing against her own dampness filled her with almost painful pleasure. She hadn’t realise until now how ready she was for them to take her, how much she wanted to finally feel them inside of her. It looked a bit pathetic, really, the way she clung on to them while they kissed her, how her own moans were swallowed by their lips and their tongue, and how much they had been able to make her feel in just a couple of minutes. She understood the complications, she knew things were going to be messy from now on, but something had been awakened inside of her - something she thought was extinguished forever - and she couldn’t see herself wanting to stop any time soon. 

Ted’s fingers wasted no time to travel down between her legs, easily pushing her underwear aside and making their way inside of her. She had remembered how talented they were at this, how simply they could reach all her soft spots and make her scream. A shock of pleasure ran through her body as they started to touch her and she couldn’t contain the high pitched moan that escaped her mouth. Her body kept moving, looking for more friction, desperately trying to increase the feeling. As they traced a path of kisses up her neck to her earlobe, Alice thought she was going to come here and then. Their lips on her ear used to be her weakness, and it looked like things hadn’t changed in that regard. “Then take me now.”, she practically whimpered against their skin. One of her hands moved to the edge of their underwear, tugging from it so it would finally stop being an inconvenience. “You should fuck me soon because I don’t think I can take it any longer.”

They couldn’t remember what it had been like the last time they had been together, just the two of them, that memory one of the many that had been takne from them in Azkaban. But suddenly they didn’t mind so much, because they had the now. They had never thought that it would be possible to have any of that again, they had been so afraid that they were too changed, that they weren’t capable of the feelings they had been then, and that fear was still there, but feeling Alice on top of them again, her kisses so familiar, yet so new, they were starting to think that that fear was unfounded. 

In the blink of an eye, she had shrugged her bra off, and they realized just how much they needed her. They needed to touch her, to make sure they remembered every little detail of her body they way they had ten years ago, to learn every change that had happened in their years without her. Their fingertips ghosted over her chest, almost as if she would disappear if they weren’t careful, still not totally believing it was possible to have all of this again. The feeling of her fingers tracing their tattoos, the gentle kisses that followed sent a pleasant chill through their body, awakening memories in them that they had thought they had lost. But there they were, clear as day, how she used to do the same when they lied in bed together, how she would make the flowers and the vines move with magic, how much it all meant to them, and still did. How it meant even more now that she was saying she could tell they had never really forgotten any of it, that she would never forget them, either. Their voice caught in their throat, emotions welling up, mixing with the overwhelming sensations of their bodies pressed together. It was the most they had let themself feel in a long, long time, but it was good. They were glad it was with her, it couldn’t have been anyone else.

Her words just confirmed everything they had already believed, the desperation with which both of them needed each other. But it was more than just the physical need, even though those needs were so strong Ted could barely fathom, hadn’t realized they still could have so strongly. It was about their connection, though. They understood each other better than anyone else possibly could, and they needed each other. Things were going to be complicated and hard, but it was more important to have a way to get by, and they were realizing more and more that what they needed was her. And they knew that she felt the same way. “God, yes,” they breathed, words coming out more as a moan from the combination of her words and the feeling of her teeth nibbling at their ear. Their hand moved down her side, coming the top of her underwear, dancing along the edge, stopping, realizing just how long it had been since they had been in a situation like this, suddenly a little embarrassed, feeling a lot like a teenager again. “You should know that it’s, er, been a while…” Ted started, letting out a little laugh despite themself, even as they brushed their lips over her neck. They pulled back for a second to look at her, the same slightly embarrassed grin on their lips. “The last time I was with anyone was Andromeda, so it’s been literally ten years, Allie.”

If someone had told Alice a week ago that she was going to be in this situation, she most likely wouldn’t have believed it. Doing something like this had been unthinkable for so long - and yet here she was, needier than ever. The way she clung onto them, the way she kissed them, hungry for more, was almost embarrassing. If they had been any other person, she would have been afraid of scare them off - but this was Ted, they knew her, even though they probably didn’t remember exactly how it was to be with her, she could tell their body hadn’t forgotten about it, much like her hadn’t either. She tried, but she couldn’t really recall the last time they had been together like this. Her intuition told her it had probably been shortly after what had happened to Frank, during one of the few nights Andromeda and them had convinced her to leave his hospital bed for a couple hours. In all honesty, she had no idea; and even though she knew she was going to miss those memories, the sudden opportunity of making new ones excited her perhaps even more that what was going to happen in a second. 

She gasped sharply in anticipation as their fingers hovered her chest, aching for them to touch her. It had been quite some time since she had done something like this, but she wasn’t worried. She was certain it was going to be fine, because this was her and Ted - there was no way I wouldn’t. And yet when they stopped she tensed, afraid that maybe she had pushed too far; that perhaps they were having second thoughts, regretting what had happened. When they spoke again, a little laugh of her own mimicked theirs. In a strange way it was relieving that they both were in the same situation. Alice leaned in before saying anything, kissing them deeply, her body grinding against them, feeling their arousal pressing against her leg. 

“Don’t worry Tedward. It’s the same for me. I mean, I tried but- it didn’t work out. I don’t think it was meant to be. In fact, I don’t think it’s meant to be with anyone but you. So don’t worry, we’ll make it work.” Alice smiled tenderly, her lips now moving to their cheek, small kisses travelling down their face to their jaw as she kept talking. “We can take it as slow as you want.” Her hips kept moving, slower this time, causing an almost painful friction between them. She took one of their hands and guided it towards her breasts. “I’m the same woman you made love to ten years ago, you know? Maybe a bit more scarred after all this time being an Auror but - my body still needs yours as much as it did back then.” Her whispers were almost like moans, mixed with the heavy breathing caused by their hand on her body and the pleasure her movements were provoking. “I don’t care if neither of us have don this in a long while. I want you now. However you want to have me.”

Now that they had crossed that line, now that their kisses had turned from appreciative, tentative, to deep and hungry, it was like they had suddenly given their body permission to truly want all of this again. In the past ten years, ten years without that physical closeness, without any intimacy at all, they had stopped really needing it, or so they had thought. Before, Ted had been someone who needed that intimacy to survive, so often the one to initiate moments like this, probably more often than was really necessary. But in the time since then, it was like their body had decided they shouldn’t rely on that physical affection. Now, though, as Alice’s body pressed close to theirs, they realized that it hadn’t changed, they had just been ignoring that need for so long. And now their body was nearly desperate for those feelings again, sharing it all with someone they had loved, someone they still could love.

They actually let out a laugh at her words, even as she pulled the shirt she had borrowed from them. Despite everything, despite the night before, despite falling asleep together, waking up with her body half on top of theirs, they still somehow hadn’t been expecting for things to move further. They had both agreed that friendship was a good start, and they both had to know that that alone was going to be complicated enough on its own. And yet, Ted couldn’t have cared less of whatever complications might lie ahead because of their choice to start kissing, to keep going, when they felt like their body was truly awake for the first time in ten years. Seeing her––maybe a little blurry given their glasses were safely on the bedside table––on top of them, shirt off, just as beautiful as they remembered, perhaps even more so, it was enough to take their breathe away. There was definitely no going back now, not when they were realizing just how much they had missed being close to her, being with her, having the intimacy and the understanding with her. They had missed the feeling of her body pressed against theirs, and everything that followed, and there was no doubt in their mind that they wanted all of that now.

It was more than apparent that she was speaking the truth, that she really did want them, and not just as a quick release, a distraction that she had come for last night. No, this was about both of them being together again. And how were they going to be the one to say no when she was on top of them, shirtless. “Nope, sorry, we can’t stop now, too late, don’t have that strength. I want you too badly,” they said, words coming out a little breathy half against her lips. Shifting so that they were half sitting, they very quickly pulled away so that they could pull their own shirt off, already too eager to move slowly. Ted’s lips met hers again, kissing her deeply, as they took one of her hands, and guided it to the flowers tattooed on their shoulder cap, her flowers. “I never forgot you, you know, no matter what it seemed like. I could never forget you.”

In all honesty she had been waiting for their answer. They had told her time and again the night before that they did want her, despite their decision of remaining friends. However, Alice had felt the need to ask, just in case they had changed their mind after everything that had happened. Fortunately, that hadn’t been the case, and even though she knew this was going to lead to a large sum of complications she couldn’t be more glad about it. She wanted this. One could have argued she had wanted it since the second she had appeared at their door. Perhaps it was different now, maybe it was about more than a quick release at this moment - but that didn’t change the fact that her breathing was accelerated and her body was reacting in ways she hadn’t thought it was still capable of. Alice had been scared of an interaction like this for years, ever since her last attempt had failed terribly. That was another reason why she had thought she needed to be completely drunk to try it again. 

She wasn’t drunk now, though. Quite the contrary, her mind felt as sharp as ever, aware of every little thing that was happening. Every little movement of Ted’s hands on her body, the way they seemed to pull her closer and closer even when it didn’t seem possible. The reaction their body was having to this were as obvious as hers, or even more. The fact that feeling their arousal pressing from under layers of clothes turned her on even further wasn’t even surprising. Alice had forgotten what it felt like to be this desperate for physical contact, to need someone as much as she needed them right now - but everything was coming back. Her mind erased memories from her sometimes, and it was a cruel thing to do; but her body didn’t seem to share that habit. As they shifted to take their own shirt off, everything fit into place. Her own chest pressed against theirs looked like the perfect fit, their bodies together like the right piece of a puzzle that had been apart for way too long. 

“Yes, I don’t think I have that much strength either.”, she muttered against their lips, kissing them hungrily once again. In a swift movement, she unclasped her bra and threw it aside. She was moving way too fast, she knew, but there was an urgency inside her she didn’t know she had and now it couldn’t be stopped. There was a fond glance, followed by a tender smile at the sight of the flowers on their shoulder. The same flowers she used to magically move around their skin every time they were lying in bed together, naked, after hours of making love incessantly. Her fingertips brushed the ink gently. “I know you didn’t. I could see it in your eyes, every time you looked at me from a distance. And I didn’t either. You will always be in my heart.” With that she leaned in, kissing those flowers, her lips travelling up their shoulder to their collarbone, and then their neck, landing on their earlobe as she nibbled on it not as gently as expected. “Ted-”, she whispered, heavy breathing clear in her voice. “Fuck me, please?”

As soon as they did it, as soon as they said those words, they felt significantly more awake, and they had to wonder if it had been the wrong thing to do, caught in a half-sleepy haze of fondness. But she stayed close to them, and her words told them that it had been the right thing to do, the only thing to do, given where they both were now. Even so, Ted hadn’t been expecting her to lean in again and brush her lips over theirs softly. It felt like they were both in the process of making a very serious choice, one that they were both well aware would change things drastically. This was different than the night before, though, when she had showed up at the doorstep drunk, and kissed them, tried to ask them to take her to bed, a quick release they could forget about in the morning. This was the morning, and everything was a lot less hazy with the bright morning light streaming in through the curtains of the window, the warmth of her body already half covering theirs. They both knew what came next, because they had been here so many times before.

She pulled back and looked at them, the question in her eyes, a question that it seemed they both already knew the answer to, no matter how hard they had both worked the night before not to do just that. Before Ted had a chance to say anything, to do exactly what they were both thinking, she kissed them again. This kiss was unlike the others, though, this kiss was slow, but deeper, lips moving against theirs, tongue pressing forward. And they responded in kind, letting their long forgotten instincts take over. It had been ten years since they had kissed anyone, yet alone like this, and they worried, for a split second, that they weren’t going to be good at it anymore. That didn’t matter, though, because with Alice it all felt so familiar, as if it had only been days since they had been lying in bed together, kissing like this, instead of years. This time, the wave of emotions that rushed over them as they kissed her was accompanied by something else; the desire for her. And that was something they could feel coursing through their body already, like it had been awakened after ten years dormant.

When they pulled back slightly, they hovered near her lips, eyes still closed even as they spoke in a hushed voice. “I don’t want to ruin things,” Ted whispered, voice still thick with sleep. It was clear that there was an unspoken but to the end of that sentence, and it came when they leaned forward, more confidently this time, deepening the kiss, as one hand moved under the sheets to the small of her back, pressing her closer, if that was possible.

The last time Alice had been in a situation similar to this, she had started hyperventilating and crying before she was able to go much further. For a second her whole body tensed up, scared that it was going to happen again; that the memory of Frank and the guilt she felt deep in her heart was going to force her to stop things, no matter how much she wanted them. However, the moment passed, and Ted’s tongue pressed forward inside her mouth, their hands pulling her closer; and suddenly she felt safe. She wanted to keep going, despite everything they had promised the night before, in spite of all the talks of friendship, and all the times she had tried to convince herself again and again that anything else happening between them was going to be way too complicated for them both to handle. There was something she was feeling now, something rooted deep inside her, that couldn’t be stopped.

Out of the four of them, Ted and herself had been perhaps the ones who found it more difficult to control their desires. Their fondness for physical affection translated to their intimate times, and it wasn’t strange that they would be the ones to initiate passionate moments whether it’d be between each other, with the others, or even all together. Therefore it wasn’t at all surprising her body felt like it was burning right now, eager for them to touch it. The moment they had kissed her like that, and she had responded, was the moment they had crossed that threshold and there was no turning back now. They seemed to feel the same, by the way they whispered they didn’t want to ruin things against her lips, but then proceeded to kiss her once more - pulling her closer, their hand slipping under the sheets. “You won’t.”, she muttered between kisses, suddenly not being able to keep her lips away from theirs. “I know what I’m doing. I want this. I want you.”

It was the truth. She did want them. Not like the night before, not as a quick release to forget about everything that was happening outside - she wanted them because her body was aching for them, begging for them to take her after then years of sadness, melancholy and neglect. Kissing them still, Alice quickly got rid of the shirt she was wearing and shifted her position so she was fully on top of them. “What about you? We can stop if that’s what you want.”

Alastor waits quietly as she secures the privacy of her office, one of several habits he’d drilled into her since she’d first acquired the space. The fact she even bothers to care about privacy now must mean something in all of this, he thinks to himself, her anger in him was visibly boiling inside of her, yet she still chose to keep this confrontation completely between the two of them. The implications of this small action could mean that whatever trust he’d broken in her from hiding this truth, hadn’t completely shattered the bond between them. 

At least not yet anyway. 

This small glimmer of hope soon vanishes though when he realizes just what piece of evidence she’d uncovered. Out of all the potential incriminating documents she could have found, it is of course his letter to the Wizengamot- the most damning of them all, that she has managed to uncover. He can feel his stomach lurch as she places it down on the table between them, the rushed frantic scribble of the script clearly written in his own hand. From where he sits he can just make out the last section of the letter:

…. And it is with this in mind, that I send my strong recommendation that in the case of Edward Morgan Tonks, a life sentence should and must be applied. If not for the sake of the integrity of our Justice System, but for the world in which we have fought so hard to preserve. 

There are many emotions that rush through Alastor as he glances at his old words. There’s a sense of remorse, for having failed so incredibly at his plan to protect that world he’d so desperately fought for. There’s anger, at his own mistake in having allowed this letter to survive for as long as it has. And then of course there’s regret, although still he feels none for having written the letter in the first place, he does wish he’d told her sooner. At the time he chose to hide his actions from her, wishing to protect her from any more pain, where she’d already experienced more than enough of. And as the years wore on, he told himself he’d tell her when the time felt right, but that time would of course never come. At least until it decided to come all on its own without him. 

When she speaks again her words cut deep and without mercy. But he takes it, obeying her command of silence, until she wields her final blow with her last words. If you ever gave a fuck about our friendship, you are going to tell me everything. Her use of the past tense visibly rattles him, and his gaze immediately snaps up to meet her’s. Had she really thought him that cruel? That he was that detached from the outside world he’d fabricated their entire relationship like it was one of his little games of cat and mouse? 

“I wasn’t planning to,” he sighs and looks back to the letter in question. He wants to say ‘you know me better than that’, but considering the very cause of this conversation he chooses not to. He had broken one of their golden rules to each other, never keep secrets, and now he was paying the price. 

He wants to tell her everything, every last grueling detail of it all, but was unsure just where to start in the mess that was his involvement in the Tonks case. He supposes the very beginning would be the most fair to make up for so many years of hiding it from her, as hard as it may be. 

“Well, as you know, Andromeda was the one to turn Ted in, but she didn’t just confess their crime to a couple low level aurors,” he begins, pausing long enough to retrieve a cigar from his coat pocket and light it with the end of his wand. After taking a couple puffs he speaks up again, “she came to me a complete mess that night, going on about how Ted killed- hell, strangled her sister with their own two hands. I sent out a couple aurors to check to see if it was true, once I got the confirmation Lestrange was in fact found murdered, I gave out the order for their arrest.”

“But my name couldn’t be attached to something like that,” he sighs, “not if I didn’t want to lose loyalties within the Order, so I played my part behind closed doors. Made sure everything was done properly and that they’d have more than enough evidence for a trial. And of course when it came to trial well…”, he gestures towards the letter, “I made sure things went how they should have there as well. And I’ll be completely honest with you,” he adds, figuring if he was going to air out all his dirty laundry, he might as well throw out the whole load, “if you dig up the Sirius Black case you’ll find the exact same letter for them as well.” 

Finally pulling the curtain back on the last bit of his secret, he sinks into the back of his chair, feeling as though he’d just done twelve rounds with a mountain troll. He sits in this silence for a moment, taking a couple more puffs of his cigar, before he finally looks up to face the impact his words had on the witch in front of him. 

“You know why I did it though, right? You have to know,” he says, trying to reassure himself more than anything. In all the years they’d spent together she had to know he did it all for the better good of the world that remained after Voldemort’s death. No matter how much his efforts failed in the end. 

It’s almost hard to believe how a couple words scribbled into a piece of parchment can make everything fall apart around you. For Alice, that letter means watching her entire relationship with Moody crumble before her eyes - and yet, she doesn’t want to hurt him. Despite what she has discovered, despite everything that is most likely about to happen, she doesn’t want to let him go, she desperately wants to understand. That’s probably what he’s going to ask of her, and she finds herself willing to at least try. It’s a frustrating feeling, knowing that she leans on him so much that she’s able to forgive something like this, or at least listen to him. She knows that if she was any other person, perhaps if she was stronger, she would just throw the letter at him and storm out of the office; maybe do something stupid like telling Ted all about it. 

She couldn’t do it.

The man in front of her was still Alastor Moody, in spite of what he had done; and she simply couldn’t betray him like that, not when he’s still like a father to her. That doesn’t mean she isn’t feeling every bit of the heartbreak that letter is provoking. Even after his words, she can’t find any consolation. 

She understands why he did it, as any Auror would. What she can’t forgive is the fact that has deliberately chosen to keep it hidden from her. After Ted was imprisoned, Alice had tried to investigate their case; to find out who had been behind their arrest in order to look for a reduction of sentence. She, obviously, hadn’t been able to find anything. Not a thing. Now it looks like what she had thought had been an elaborate plot thought out by Lily in order to hide everything related to Ted’s imprisonment; is just the way that Alastor has tried to clear himself of any trouble. 

Still, she appreciates the fact that he doesn’t seem inclined to hide any more stuff. A sigh of relief escapes her lips when he starts talking, apparently more than willing to tell her everything. She’s scared - of both what she is about to find and the fact that he could be lying to her again. Under normal circumstances Alice would never think something like that of him, but these are not normal circumstances and she doesn’t know how she will be able to trust him like she did before. 

Her eyes widen when he mentions Sirius as well. She knows what they had done was wrong, it was as terrible as Ted’s case - but for Alastor to so freely someone he cared for so much to jail for life, she just couldn’t wrap her mind around it. Did he have any regrets? Alice knew the job of an Auror included some degree of detachment, but the Order had always been like a family; and yet here he was, confessing that he had been behind Sirius’ arrest too. 

“I know.”, she states, but her tone makes it clear that she isn’t done talking just yet. “I’m not sure I would have had the strength to do it if I had been in your place, but I understand why you did it.” Alice sighs. “What I don’t understand is why you decided to keep it from me.” Her expression turns into a frown now, and even though she’s trying really hard to hide her true feelings behind a layer of well deserved anger, her voice breaks when she continues. “You knew how much I was suffering, how desperate I was to find out what had happened. I told you everything, I told you how Ted came clean to both Andromeda and myself and how I had decided to keep it a secret while Andromeda did what she did. All those times when we talked about that, when I told you how mortified I was- you knew this? And you were able to keep quiet?” She shakes her head, her jaw clenching, trying to repress the tears that are threatening to spill. “You should have arrested me as well. Have you ever thought about that? I knew what they had done, and I chose not to say anything. Does that make me an accomplice? Is that what we all are to you? Pictures on a wall, pieces of a puzzle you need to solve. Why would you keep this hidden from me?”

It had been a long time since they had slept straight through the night, no nightmares, no worries or fears keeping them up, making them take refuge in the ring they kept in their nightstand. But it had been almost too easy to lie down in bed together, offering her one of their much too big shirts to sleep in; to wrap their arms around her and whisper gentle words of comfort into her ear as they fell asleep together, nothing more than that. They hadn’t realized just how much they missed sleeping next to someone, having that warmth and comfort at their side, until they were lying there with her again. It was obvious that they body had missed it as well, from how they clung to her, legs tangled, half of her body covering theirs as they stirred slightly at the sound of her whisper.

They smiled softly, a sleepy, only half-awake little thing without even opening their eyes, as they heard her call them Tedward, such a familiar and fond nickname from so long ago. Not even Dora jokingly called them that, knowing the significance they felt it held, so thoroughly attached to memories of Andromeda and Alice and Frank, their happy times together. They were well aware that she was right, that they needed to get up and get moving, face reality again, but that was the last thing they wanted to do. In response, they merely let out a small groan, and pulled her closer, wanting nothing more than to fall back asleep and stay there as long as they could. The feeling of her fingers moving over their cheek gently lulled them into comfort, making it impossible to force themself up. Her little giggle was the thing that finally made them open their eyes, a fond smile on their lips as they looked up at her. She was close, close enough that they couldn’t help but thing of bridging the gap and kissing her, despite their agreement of friendship. Maybe it was the grogginess of just waking, or the tranquil feeling they had from being so close to her, sleeping so soundly, but it didn’t seem like the worst thing in the world to do just that.

“Breakfast sounds good,” they muttered, that smile still there, as one hand moved to her cheek, thumb moving back and forth, savoring the feeling. Ted hesitated, before very gently leaning forward to bring their lips together. It only lasted for a second, but when they pulled back they stayed close. “I missed waking up next to you, Allie.”

She had been hoping for a kiss, but she hadn’t been waiting for one. Since they moment she had opened her eyes and found herself so close to them, her body on top of theirs and their legs tangles, she had been invaded by an overwhelming desire for this to happen. Perhaps that had been the reasons she hadn’t moved, that she had instead woken them up so tenderly. Nonetheless, Alice hadn’t really seen this coming. She never thought they were actually going to go for it - so casually, and sleepy, as if they hadn’t spent all night trying desperately to avoid this same situation. Now the barriers were crossed, though, and she wasn’t sure how to proceed. It seemed ridiculous if she was being honest. It hadn’t really been a passionate kiss, only a brief gesture of tenderness. Maybe it hadn’t meant anything, perhaps it had been just a reflex, something brought about by the situation of them waking up together like old times. 

It didn’t feel like that though. It felt like Ted was opening a door they had both agreed on keeping close last night. And yet, Alice wanted to cross it so bad. She was unsure how to. She had, after all, been the one to propose to be friends. However, something told her they were way past friendship right here and now. “I missed it too. Thank you for last night.”, she replied, her voice low as theirs was. Making practically no effort, she leaned in as they had done and brushed her lips against theirs. It was a gentle thing, and she shortly pulled back to look at them in the eye - but she didn’t stop there. She blinked a couple of times, and then kissed them again. This time, her mouth was slow but more passionate, her lips parting, her tongue demanding entrance. 

It was dangerous territory, obviously, it was everything she had been trying to avoid since they had done the right thing and avoided her the pain of sleeping with them to escape from everything outside. This wasn’t the same thing - the desire she was feeling now had nothing to do with how she had felt yesterday. She only hoped Ted realised that. 

It took Alice a hot second to realise exactly where she was when she opened her eyes, the light of day sneaking through the window. For a moment she feared her brain was going to play her a bad trick again and made her forget about everything that had happened the night before. Fortunately, that wasn’t the case, and within a minute she remembered everything. The embraces, the promises, the pancakes, the rose tea, the sweet words Ted had whispered in her ear while they were falling asleep together, and the feeling of finally getting some sleep in their arms. The same arms that were around her right now, as she rested half her body on top of theirs, legs entangled. She also recalled the offering of friendship she had given, and smiled softly to herself noticing the way they were sleeping right now. Not really friendly at all, but neither of them was able to control their unconscious bodies; and apparently they had needed to be close to each other. 

“Tedward-”, she whispered, moving up their body so she could be face to face with them. “I think it’s time to wake up. We have to go to work.” Alice beamed fondly as she watched them sleep so peacefully. Everything felt like before, so comfortable and loving, even though they both knew the world outside was never going to be the same. Her fingers travelled to their cheek, and she caressed their cheekbones gently before noticing she wasn’t wearing the same clothes as last night. Apparently before falling asleep, she had changed into one of Ted’s t-shirts. Just the feeling of their clothes on her made her heart race in a way only they could manage to. “Come on sleepy.”, she whispered once more, lips closer this time, and a little giggle hiding behind her words. “If you wake up now I’ll have the time to make you some breakfast. How does that sound?” 

Ted understood that little sigh she let out as she agreed with them in Neville’s case. They could understand it perfectly, even without words, because they had shared the same sort of sighs a dozen times over with Andromeda, with their parents, when talking about Dora. It was so easy to fall into these patterns, confessing worries about their kids together, figuring the whole parenting thing out still even after so long for both of them. They were glad that they could have this again. It was one of the many things they hadn’t realized they had been aching for all this time. And it sounded like maybe she needed it, too. And right now, they could tell she needed a bit of reassurance, even if that wasn’t what she was looking for. “He’s got people looking out for him, Allie. He’s not alone up there. Like you said, Minerva would never let anyone step a toe out of line when it comes to Neville, and honestly I doubt half the kids even put two and two together. They’re too busy worrying about Potions exams and collecting chocolate frog cards. And he’s got Dora looking out for him, too,” they said, with a nod. That was very true, to the point where they were fairly certain Dora would be willing to do something that would get them expelled if it meant standing up for Neville. Killing two birds with one stone, to them.

They knew Alice was right, though, no matter how much they tried to reassure her. Neville was a strong kid, but even strong kids were affected by things out in the world, and Neville had already dealt with more in his short life than many faced in ninety years. It wasn’t fair to Ted. He didn’t deserve a single second of the pain he had gotten; to grow up without knowing his father, only able to sit in the hospital and talk to him, hoping that one day things might change, but knowing they likely wouldn’t. Not to mention everything now. If they had been thinking clearing in that moment that the reporter had bombarded them coming out of the Ministry, they would’ve told them to leave the Longbottoms out of the article, to give Alice and Neville even an ounce of privacy now, when they had already dealt with so much. “Hey, you’re not being ridiculous. Everything you’re worried about is valid. But it’s going to be alright,” they said, voice serious. They wanted to give her some confirmation that the Crouch mess would be over soon, that they would make certain it was, but they knew that likely wouldn’t be a comfort to her, given how they were going to take care of the problem. Instead, their thoughts were of the image of Neville and Alice visiting Frank, talking to him, begging him to wake up. The very thought nearly brought the tears back to their eyes, but they held fast. “Neville needs the chance to be a kid. It’s almost winter holiday; why don’t we figure out some things you can do with him to make everything feel a little more normal, whatever the hell normal is? I can help, if you want. Even the little things can make it all seem more bearable.”

And wasn’t that the truth? This was proof of that. The world felt infinitely more bearable with Alice there in the kitchen with them, magicking the pancake ingredients together, as they finished off the tea the muggle way. More than bearable, really, they felt a spark of hope, which was something they hadn’t felt in a long, long time. When Alice had shown up at the doorstep, drunk and looking for nothing but a quick release, their heart had felt heavier than it had even hearing about Crouch’s capture. But now? Now it felt like nothing at all, light, despite the weight of everything around them, despite the complications that they were certainly going to face attempting any sort of closeness again. Alice was hope, for them, and they wanted to give her even just a little sliver of what she was giving them, if they could. Ted hoped that suggesting she stay, suggesting that they fall asleep in each others’ arms like they used to, all those years ago, might offer that little bit of comfort that she had been unintentionally searching for when she had come to their door. And they were realizing that it might just help them feel a little more human too.

Before they knew it, Alice was close to them again, taking their hand in her own. A wave of fondness washed over them as they looked down at her, a perfect memory flooding back to the front of their mind, a memory they had thought they lost to the Dementors. The first time Alice had taken their hand without them making the first move. They had been out in Frank’s garden at the exact perfect moment to see his ivy bloom the spectacular flowers, the flowers that they had tattooed on their shoulder for Alice, the flowers that were also in bloom the first time they had kissed. In that moment, they hadn’t been able to put into words just how happy they were, how much the warmth of her hand meant to them. And this moment felt a lot like that. “It is. And it’s what I want too,” they said, a small, but genuine smile slipping over their lips. 

Alice smiled, and nodded more to herself than to them. Even after all these years, Ted still knew what to say to make her feel a little bit better. They were right, too. There were people at Hogwarts looking out for Neville, who cared about him and would do anything for him not to be hurt. She was always going to be worried, obviously, but she needed to pull herself together. “I know. Out of everyone, I think Dora is the one I trust the most. They would do anything for Neville. I hope they don’t end up hexing any first years or something.” She chuckled softly, but they both knew that wasn’t beyond Nymphadora when it came to look after Alice’s son. As the pancakes poured themselves magically into the heating pan, the hand that had squeezed Ted’s travelled up to their shoulder until she fully embraced them. It was different this time; there were no tears, and she wasn’t being impulsive. She wanted to thank them, but she had also felt the urgent need to be close to them once more. Wrapping her arms around them, she buried her head in their chest and stayed there for a second. 

“Thank you.”, she murmured, looking up at them. “I know you don’t think very high of yourself right now, but I need you to know you’re making a difference here, and I missed us looking after each other.” Maybe she was stepping a line, or even oversharing, but they were past that now. She needed them to know how important this whole thing had been to her, and how much they had helped even though they didn’t believe they had. Their next words made her smile widen. Once again, they had a point. Neville did need the chance to be a kid. He had to realise things didn’t have to be sad all the time, that he could have fun without feeling guilty about not sharing those moments with his dad. Perhaps that went for Alice as well. She also needed to learn how to create new memories with people without her mind wandering constantly to Frank, and to how he would be feeling. It was a painful though, but a necessary one. In that moment she understood what Augusta meant when she told her she needed to move on. 

It wasn’t about forgetting Frank, she was never going to do that. Her husband, the father of her child, was always going to be irreplaceable in her heart. However, she needed to give herself and Neville the opportunity to be happy again. This was a first step. Even if she never became anything more than friends with Ted, she was glad they were going to try and be close again, to build their weird family back up. Knowing Dora and Neville, they were going to be glad about it as well. “Yes, I agree. We can figure things out. We could- you know, spend Christmas together if you want. With your parents and Frank’s mum too. I know Augusta would love to see you and Dora again. We can hand make presents to each other like we used to. Maybe I could bake Dora that cake they like so much?” Her hug became a little tighter. “We’ll make it work, right?” 

They wanted new memories too, and that confession almost brought her to tears once again. She managed to collect herself though, but she couldn’t help but place her hand on their cheek one more time. Like before, her fingers pushed their hair back as she smiled, and lovingly traced a line from their forehead to their jaw. Tentatively, almost shyly, her fingertip travelled to their bottom lip, trailing it softly. She shouldn’t be doing it, she knew that, but if they were going to be just friends she at least had to allow herself a little slip up before things went back to normal. “New memories it is.”, she finally said, pulling back and going to fetch the pancakes.  

Alastor was in the middle of his usual morning ritual, which in this case meant a headache inducing read of that day’s Prophet, when his assistant tapped on his office door bearing a message from Alice. 

I need to talk to you, stop by my office when you get the chance. - Allie

It wasn’t uncommon for Alice to send him memos, in fact when it came to busy times like these, when the entire office was wrapped up in a single case, memos often would become their primary source of communication. But there was something slightly troubling about this particular memo, from the ominous tone it carried, to the simple signature of a dash following her name, instead of the usual expression of love or teasing that normally preceded her moniker. It is for this reason he decides to follow through with her request now, rather than during their lunch break when he normally would have. 

He makes just one stop before he reaches the witch’s office, and picks up two cups of coffee from the tea trolley, having the feeling they were both going to need it. Given the early hour, he figured alcohol would be a tad unprofessional, so he hopes this would serve as a reasonable replacement. When he gets to her office he makes no effort to announce his presence, instead simply opening the door and greeting her ‘morning’ with one of his own. 

“Picked you up something,” he adds, as he places the steaming hot cup in front of the various piles that lay before her. It is as he does this when he catches a glimpse of the file number of the top folder, and realizes just what he’d walked himself into. To most the file number TMT-4816JZ-02/1982, would probably mean little to nothing. But to Alastor, someone whose intimacy with that particular case lay deeper than even most realized, it meant one thing-

his secret was out. 

“Interesting and filthy indeed,” he nods, and takes a seat across from the witch. When he asked Alice to go digging through the records department he knew it potentially posed the risk of her running into such old paperwork, given her history with the wix in question. And perhaps maybe deep down that’s why he did it in the first place, so that finally this secret of his could be free. But now, as struggles to keep the anxious surge of emotions he was currently experiencing in check, he wishes he’d done more to keep the ugly truth hidden from her. 

“What all did you find?” He asks, his normally stoic and gruff tone, now showing a rare layer vulnerability and fear. 

Out of all the people who could have come through the unlocked door of her office, she wasn’t expecting him. At least not yet. It was a ridiculous thought, given the fact that she had written him a note asking him to stop by only a few minutes before - but she wasn’t really thinking he was going to follow through right that second. It's a turn of events that sends her mind into panic mode, because she realises now that she sees Alastor Moody standing there, placing her coffee on the desk, his eyes quickly catching a glimpse of the file there - probably anticipating what’s to come now - that she isn’t at all ready for this confrontation. She was in fact trying to distract herself from the possibility of this happening, and now it’s being thrown at her face and she needs to act if she wants to know the truth. 

She nods as her only response, and slowly stands up, picking up the cup of coffee and taking a sip. It burns, perhaps more than it should, but she doesn’t really care, not even winces. “We need to talk about something.”, she states, not really answering his question because she knows she doesn’t need to. With a swift movement of her wand she makes sure to both lock the door and soundproof the office. What she’s about to say had to obviously stay there, or there could be dire consequences for the both of them. 

Still not offering much of an explanation, she goes to the file sitting in between them and grabs a piece of parchment. The binder is almost empty, most of its contents lost, destroyed, or who knows what in the course of ten years. However, that little speck of evidence survives, and as much as Alastor tries to hide it, Alice knows he recognises it. 

After scanning the words quickly once again, as if to corroborate what she’s seeing is actually real and not some invention of her damaged mind playing a trick on her, she places the parchment flat on the desk - a little more forcefully than necessary. Alastor handwriting is easy to spot there. 

“What’s the meaning of this?” She blinks a couple of times, looking straight at him. “And before you say anything, you better tell me the truth. I don’t want excuses, and I definitely don’t want lies. I need you to tell me everything. Now. This is your last chance. If you ever gave a fuck about our friendship, you are going to tell me everything.”

“That sounds perfect. We’ll make it happen,” they said with a smile, a genuine smile, back at her. Even just being able to suggest something like that, something that seemed as simple as a dinner, made them feel lighter than they had in years. Nothing was going to be the same, that was impossible after everything, but even just knowing that there was a possibility of getting some of that back, in a different way, was heartening. Maybe they could be a little more like a family again. Alice had always been like a mother to Dora, after all, especially in Ted’s absence, and it made them glad to even consider the possibility of them feeling less like stoic exes passing off a child, when she came around to see Dora, and more like a family. And being able to talk to her about being a parent was something else they hadn’t realized they missed. But her confession of worry over Neville just made that clearer, too. 

“He’s strong, from what Dora tells me. He’s got yours and Frank’s blood after all, he’ll be more than alright. But I know that feeling well. It’s hard to watch them grow up, to have to start letting them go, even just a little bit,” Ted said, voice softer as they looked at her. They knew that better than they wanted to think about. Their thoughts went momentarily to the night they had dropped Dora off at their parents’ house, thinking that that would be the last time they ever saw their child again, but having to force themself to say goodbye away, knowing that it was for the best for them to let them go. It was too painful to think of, really, and of course Azkaban had left that memory in tact, as clear as day. “I wouldn’t want to share it with anyone else,” they muttered, a quiet confession that they worried might be too much, for the time that had passed since they had been so honest with one another. But it was true. They were infinitely grateful to have known that Alice was there for Dora when they couldn’t be.

Her hand suddenly moving up to their jaw, to their cheek, and then to their hair, brushing it back off of their forehead fondly, it reminded them just how much they had missed her, had missed the tender but casual contact they had shared before. Ted had always been a very physical being, always someone who enjoyed showing love and affection through touches, even in platonic relationships. Andromeda had never been quite as casually physical as they were, because of her very different upbringing, and so Ted had ended up giving a lot of his casual physical affection to Alice and Frank instead, since they had both always been just as comfortable as they were with it. They had missed being touched by someone else with such obvious care. It made them want to kiss her even more, if that was possible, and they could tell she was thinking the same, by the way her eyes kept lingering on their lips. Part of them had been expecting her to reject the offer, or maybe part of them had been hoping that she would, knowing that it was only going to make the temptation greater, that it would make all of this harder to deal with. But her showing up at their door, her kissing them again, sharing their feelings, and just being together was making them feel an ache deep in their chest that they knew only being with her might calm. It was something they had been trying to ignore since they had gotten out of Azkaban, a feeling of need and nostalgia, the desire for something they weren’t sure they could have any longer. Now that she was here, though, it was impossible to deny themself that much, even just to be able to hold her again, as they rebuilt a friendship. 

It was a good thing that she moved away from them when she did, because they were more than seriously considering just saying fuck it to the friends thing, and kiss her again. Their bodies were pressed together too close, enough that they could feel a heat building in the pit of their stomach that they hadn’t truly felt in years. “Yeah, pancakes. Good plan…” they breathed, staying in their stop for a second, regaining that self control of theirs. Before they managed to move, though, the kettle started whistling, causing them to jump, bringing them back to the reality of things, of just how complicated this all was, even without mixing in the desire for each other. They busied themself with taking the pot off, and dividing some rose tea between the two mugs they had pulled out earlier. They filled up the mugs and then turned back to Alice. “This is almost like old times. The two of us in the kitchen together, cooking for everyone…” they said with a little fond laugh, but the smile faded a little at the end. Only it’s just us now, was how they were going to finish that sentence, but they stopped themeslf. They were both well aware that that was the case, there was no need to bring up the reminder when they were finally having a moment that even resembled how things had been before, despite just how exhausted they felt now from everything in the world.

“I know he is.”, she said, voice firm even though a small sigh followed. She didn’t doubt that about Neville. That child had gone through so much pain and heartbreak, much more than anyone should at his age. Alice herself sometimes didn’t understand how he had managed to remain so high spirited, and she liked to believe maybe she had a small part of responsibility when it came to that. However, things were different now that he was alone at school. She knew she wouldn’t be able to protect him for every single evil. He had to learn how to stand up for himself - and with parents like her and Frank, and someone like Alastor Moody in his life, she was sure that was going to be no problem - but that wasn’t enough to shake off the feeling of uncertainty every time she started thinking he could be in danger, or feeling hopeless, and she wasn’t there to comfort him. She usually had this kind of conversations with Augusta, and no one else - but talking to Ted was such a breath of fresh air, to share there worries with someone else who not only understood her, but her and Neville enough to really comprehend what she was going through. 

“But he won’t always be strong. Even the toughest person has their moments of weakness and he’s just a child. What happens if someone tells him something? Or worse, if a teacher dares to say anything.” She pursed her lips, staying quiet for a second. “You know Snape’s working there. I know he wouldn’t be capable of hurting him, and Minerva wouldn’t let him, but he’s a teacher, and Nev is only a first year.” Alice shook her head, trying to calm down her own mind. “I’m being ridiculous, I know. And I’m overreacting. I just don’t want this whole Crouch shit to affect him. He’s been through enough. No child should be visiting his father at the hospital every week, begging for him to wake up Ted. That’s not how his childhood should be. I just don’t want it to get even more messed up that it already is.” Talking about Frank and about her fears like this, with such intensity and honesty, wasn’t something she was used to doing anymore. Ted made her feel safe enough to do it, though, despite everything that had happened. The truth was she felt the same way as they did; she wouldn’t share this with anyone else, and she knew they realised that. 

Even after she moved away and started fetching the stuff for the pancakes, she could steel feel the electricity running through her fingertips desperately pulling her to them. Alice had thought that staying a few feet away would lower the risk of her wanting to just eliminate the space between them and devouring their lips once and for all; she had been wrong. The desire was building up now and nothing seemed to be able to stop it. Nothing but her own mind, she told herself. She couldn’t let her need for them rule her actions, she needed to pull herself together and stick to her word of being friends. That was what she had offered, and she had to respect it, as difficult as it was right now. 

When she had told them the pancakes weren’t going to make themselves, that had been a little lie. They preferred the muggle way to do things, as much as she kept using magic for everything. It only took her a few flicks of her wand to have all the ingredients mixing by themselves, while the fire was already lit and waiting for the mix to be poured. They had always cooked like that together, magic and muggle intertwining. It could be called a good coexistence, Alice believed. If only everything was a simple as that, and not as rushed and filled with bitterness as Lily Evans had made it to be. She knew this wasn’t the time to bring that up though. There was going to be a moment to try and talk to Ted about how fucked up Lily’s vision was, but this was not it; especially after their next words. She didn’t need them to finish the sentence to realise what they were thinking, so she offered them a fond smile and once again walked up to them, taking their hand for a second and giving it an affectionate squeeze. “It does feel a bit like old times, yes. We can make new memories now. It’s what Frank would have wanted.”

Almost an entire week had gone by since the news about Crouch had been published but the excitement and the general buzz didn’t seem to quiet down. Alice was trying really hard to focus exclusively on her work; and that didn’t prove to be any simpler. As expected, the Aurors were going absolutely crazy, setting up the security for the trial and avoiding the press in general. It seemed like both Moody and most of her work mates had realised it wasn’t really the best idea for her to go outside, so she had been pretty much buried in old paperwork and evidence. 

She was grateful for it, if she was being completely honest. Reading piles and piles of documents and sorting them out was a good distraction for her brain, that was still trying to process everything that had happened those last couple of days. After some years of a relative dullness, so many things seemed to have been set in motion once again and she wasn’t sure how she was going to cope with them. 

She was dusting off a stack of old parchments when she heard the door of her office opening. “Morning.”, she said absentmindedly without really looking at the newcomer. “I’m really sorry about the mess. I have been spending a lot of time inside the archives lately and I had to pull out some equally interesting and filthy stuff.”