All things

Not simply because I deeply love that word, but daily events incur unabashed feelings, which often lead to nonsense. You know? From memorials, to birthday parties, the carousel never stops turning. You can never reset, never pause, never get off. That’s the untimeliness of time. How does one live life well and to the fullest if you can never grasp it? What is the art, or rather the secret of living in the moment? For I seem to be carrying the weight of events from days ago! And conversations from last night seemingly shape the words I spew today! Being female, I understand all things are more connected emotionally when juxtaposed to compartmentable men. So, who has the advantage? 

I cannot seem to understand the sadness that’s occurred in the past few weeks, mixed with moments of joy, splendor and speed. Life breaks you down, and yet God restores ever so sweetly. And in the midst of seemingly endless spinning, I find that moments of stillness creep up in the quietness of solitude and the blunder of chaos. Ever present, I am always more and more aware of just how truly blessed and redeemed we are. 

Every time I complete something monumental in life, I seem to eventually post about the occurrence. So instead of letting time scoot along, I have decided to punctually and properly record the event. 

But even as I write this I am not sure of what to pen. Do I jump for joy at the mere accomplishment of taking the test yet a second time? For I do not feel like jumping at all, rather quite the opposite. Despite the hours of endless studies, somehow I managed to take the exam non the wiser, or if anything only more knowledgable about all the facts I have yet to grasp. Do I note that I am despondent to my core? Saddened by my prospects, disappointed in myself, and my lack of luster for the academics which my peers effortlessly understand. 

Truthfully, what do I say? For what can be said? The test has been taken, and the clock for applications ticks on, all the while I wait for a score report which I can aimlessly predict. I am glad I took the test again, the possibilities of me failing here always high, but the thought of not trying were not an option. 

If I only blog snippets when I reach epiphanies, then let me just say this: examine me. 

I had to run into the house to grab my iPhone and snap a memory of our soggy fourth of July. It was just too good of a memory to let it simply live on in our imaginations. No. This night insisted on a photographical recording. I was not the first to leave the table, however, which was the rule once it started to downpour during dinner. Whoever got up first had to do the dishes. At first it wasn't a problem...After the rain began to trickle down into a steady cascade...It became a pouring predicament. We covered our margaritas, left our plates alone, and chuckled at one another across the table. Nobody budged. "I'm not cold..." "No, me neither...*sniff sniff*" "This is a perfect night." "There is a puddle of water on my salad." It's a simple moment to document, I know, but it's the small, sweet memories which mean the most to me and I loved it. 

I woke up early to pack this morning, said goodbye to Redford and my grandparents and hit the road to work. Back at the old grindstone, I am blessed. I got off an 1 1/2 hours early (yay!) and scooted home to catch a happy BBQ dinner with my aunt, uncle, and familia. Made it just in time too! 

After a lot of laughs, a lot of food and a lot of rain, we settled inside for some pie from Madeline and my Mom and cozied up to watch Jack Ryan.

There is no greater reality check than stepping out of your own life and entering into another. Visiting a third world country makes you meet the mat on an entirely new level, and I am so grateful for the eye opening experiences I was blessed to be apart of in Costa Rica! My family and I traveled South with a handful of cousins to visit the tropical paradise of Nosara. We surfed, ventured across the country, chased monkey’s through the town, befriended wild horses…It was a dream.

Truly the trip of a lifetime. We thought we would be staying at a meager hotel, roughing it for a couple of weeks. Yet, after a day of dreary travels, eager to find a place of solace, our parents surprised us by renting out a vacation dream home, just a few minutes walk from the ocean. The surprise was one of my favorite parts of the trip. My parents are such generous people.

So we hosted most of the dinners when we didn’t eat out, cooking a different meal every night. There is something unique about bonding over the simple steps of cooking. Food unites individuals in a way that I find to be so Biblical, it was fun to take part in such gatherings. Each dinner we had a topic, often times based on a question which, we each would go around the table answering. For example, one night it was ‘What is or is not a wasted life to you?’. The answers ranged from, living for Jesus, being selfless, and not going to a penitentiary. Such a laugh.

[Below is a photo of the tiniest snail I’ve ever seen while staying at the Arenal Lodge, at the base of a volcano]

Another treasured memory of mine, was jumping into Scott’s car for a yoga class with my mom to find the car jam packed with all my cousins. I did not believe that they all were going to participate in the yoga class until they started rolling out their mats and stretching! Who knew my cousins in addition to rock climbing, snowboarding and surfing, had also mastered the art of yoga?!  (I officially have no talents of which to brag about).

My final favorite moment was surfing with my dad. He had gotten beaten up by the waves the day prior to taking me out, but that didn’t stop him from jumping into the water with Madeline and me, helping me catch waves, and teaching me to turtle. We went out twice while we were there, and those memories I cherish. I predict Madeline and I will be traveling back to take a week long surf camp in the near future..:)  

                                                                                                                                           My cousins are some of the greatest men I’ve even known. They are true adventures, who never say no (unless you offer them a salad..hehe). They are funny, kind and generous with their time. I have loved growing up with them and extending our family ties into true friendships as we grow older, it is a blessing. After spending time with these boys, I am actually encouraged to reinvent much of my own habits and perspectives. They are 100% themselves, uninhibited by the world and ways of our generation. Positivity and contentedness permeate through their very beings and it’s a quality I am now chasing after. 

Just a ramble off a few other things we explored while in Costa Rica…We marveled at watching baby turtles find their way into the deep blue sea. Went zip lining across a jungle. Ate dinner with lizards over our heads. Slept in hotels which terrified us…Had drinks delivered to us while swimming in a pool(!). Explored a natural hot springs next to a volcano, which just so happen to have a swim up bar. Cheers! Found a lizard as big as my sister’s enormous cat. Mastered the art of sand castle architecture. Lived without wifi/data (how wonderful). Observed the simple and the meek, spied some of the happiest people, who lived life with a sweet abundance I’ve yet to witness in the states. Watched Costa Rica win a World Cup game while in Costa Rica. Oh we also caught a Free People photo shoot on the beach…Darn just when I was starting to cut back on shopping..;) Our trip is hard to summarize, so I hope the photographs will do a better job at explaining. If you have never been to Costa Rica, this is a place you don’t want to miss. And if you have already traveled to this beautiful jungle, isn’t it hard to leave?! 

There were once two English men who were invited to a riches man's house to attend formal dinner. While they were sitting in the lounge awaiting the company of their host, one man remaked, "Wouldn't it be nice to have everything at the tip of your fingers? For this man can travel anywhere, buy anything, and want for nothing." The man sitting next to him replied, "I have something this man will never have, I have enough".