Allison Unsupervised

Vaginal Thrush

Menorrhagia

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome

Fibroids

Add in fibromylgia, which affects 8x as many women as men, as well as lupus (and almost any other autoimmune condition), systemic exertion intolerance disorder (SEID), iron deficiency anæmia (all of which affect more women than men), and you have well over 25% of childbearing-age women globally living with chronic pain and tiredness.

Chronic pain is overwhelmingly experienced by women, and women are less likely to be taken seriously or given treatment by medical professionals. I went through two years of diagnostics to finally find out I had occipital neuralgia; I felt doubted when I described my pain at every step of the way, but was lucky to have a partner who was persistent in helping me get treatment.

This is why if you get pregnant your doctor will take you off basically any and all medication you’re taking (including mental health medication, can’t imagine any implications/dire consequences there), not because they know it will have an adverse affect on the foetus but because they have no idea. How wonderfully kind of them to prioritise the health and life of an unborn foetus over that of a living person, let’s just hope they don’t become ill whilst pregnant. How charmingly logical it is that they wouldn’t even bother to test drugs in people with a uterus because it’s all too difficult and gosh, darn what an ethical conundrum we’ve been faced with, let’s just not! Which is so in the spirit of capital S, Science!  

Take menstrual cramps, for example. Everybody knows that cramps are a normal part of menstruation, and that virtually all people who menstruate experience them throughout their lives, right?

Except that’s not right at all.

Yes, it’s true that about two-thirds of individuals who menstruate begin to experience menstrual pain during adolescence, but it’s basically a side effect of puberty, and normally subsides by your late teens. Only about 20-40% of menstruating adults experience menstrual pain on a regular basis - and according to some estimates, as much as 80% of that figure is due to undiagnosed endometriosis or some other underlying medical condition.

Yeah, roll those numbers around in your head: if you’re an adult who experiences menstrual cramps, it’s overwhelmingly likely that your pain is a symptom of some potentially serious medical condition.

You cannot make a QuickMark to convey empathy. You cannot make one to say, “You have broken my heart.” It is not appropriate to make one to say, “I am sorry for your loss.”

And there is no mark in the world to say, “I am sorry you had to live through a mass shooting.”

How do you grade that? What rubric can measure that kind of terror?

I personalize. I say, “You are so brave.” I say, “I am so glad you were not hurt.”

I mean, “I love you.” I mean, “Your life matters.” I mean, “I am so sorry this is the world we have built you.”

I do not say, “I never want to read a story like this again.”

Donuts, anyone?

Thursday, a lifetime ago.

I was not at the hospital: not yet! Later. I’ll go later. It’ll be fine. Not now. Not yet. For hours I fidgeted between one room and another, from glider to shower to bed to computer chair until to the relief of everyone but me I conceded to go.