Damnit Janet I love you

I think the problem with Kermit is that it's really easy to reduce him to a joyless jerk because his role IS being the straight man to a cast of bozos and he IS blunt and tired, but the thing is, he's not a jerk hes a funny little frog.

I miss working at the sex store people would really walk up to me and say shit like "I need help making my wife cum" and I'd be like yeah. I know just the thing brother

As I grow older I feel my capacity to understand that Miss Piggy is not a real person reached a peak in my adolescence and is now on a steady decline. I watched a Wendy Williams interview and there's this part that's like "can we get a ring cam!" and Miss Piggy shows her bling and I'm just like fuck she's so iconic. Miss Piggy who are you wearing? Miss Piggy have you ever considered running for office??

Like literally every time I see Miss Piggy there's a period where I need to readjust to the fact that it's not a person, and I feel that period is getting longer and longer with every instance