multi-muse rp

Karlach: No more making fun of me when I misuse dated cultural references, alright? Are we cowabunga on this? Halsin, sighing: Fine. We're cowabunga. --- Karlach: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined. Halsin: Heck. Karlach: You're on thin fucking ice. Karlach: Oh no- --- Halsin: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby. Karlach: What baby? Halsin, crying a bit: Me. --- Halsin: Wake up! The sun is shining! Karlach: What do you want me to do, photosynthesis? --- Karlach: You spent all your money on THIS?? Halsin, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.

Halsin: You don't know anything about me! Astarion: I know EVERYTHING about you! You are an open book written for very dumb children! --- Astarion: I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit. Halsin: Astarion, is that legal? Astarion: When the cops aren’t around, anything’s legal! --- Astarion: Wow, I really think I would’ve gotten along with young Halsin! Halsin: I know. That’s why I decided to change everything about my life. --- Halsin: Don’t go picking a fight with me. I could make your life difficult. Astarion, sarcastically: Wow. I wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life. --- Astarion: It kind of feels like you’re prioritizing work over our friendship. Halsin: Because I barely know you? Astarion: Fine, message received.

Sturmhond: What do you call a dictionary on drugs? Dio: If you say "addict-ionary" I swear I will cut you. Sturmhond: I was actually going to say "high definition", but your answer's much better. Dio: ... --- Sturmhond: Did you buy eggs like I asked? Dio: Even better! Sturmhond: What the fuck did you- Dio: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy. --- Dio: Remember, when burying a body, make sure to cover it with endangered plants so it’s illegal to dig up! Dio: Make sure to follow me for more gardening tips! --- Astarion: Are you good? Dio: In what sense? Astarion: Generally. Dio: Oh, definitely not. --- Dio: What are you talking about Astarion? You love it here! Astarion: I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome. --- Dio: People tell me I have a unique way of lighting up a room. Halsin: It’s called arson and those people are called witnesses. --- Dio: *holds a gun out to Halsin* Halsin: I-I don't believe in guns. Dio: Well, trust me, they're very real. Now take it.

Sturmhond: Punch me in the face. Anne: ...Punch you? Sturmhond: Yes, punch me, didn’t you hear me? Anne: I always hear ‘punch me in the face’ while you’re speaking but it’s usually just subtext.

Karlach: Okay, two person huddle. Halsin: You can't huddle with two people. This is just a hug. --- Halsin: That sounds like a terrible plan. Karlach: Oh, we've had worse. --- Karlach: Hey, what’s the name of the guy who lives down the hall? Halsin: His cats' names are Walter and Rose. Karlach: That's not what I asked. Halsin: That is all the information I have. --- Halsin: Just so everyone knows, don't ever try to climb a tree at night carrying a strobe light, owls DON'T like it. Aylin: ...what happened? Halsin: I made a VERY bad mistake. --- Aylin: I’m sad. Halsin: Don’t be sad, because sad backwards is das. Halsin: And das not good.

*Gale and Astarion are in a mirror maze* Gale: Come on, you got it! Almost through! Astarion: I see you! *runs straight into a mirror, shattering it* Gale: *screams* --- Astarion: Don’t say a word. Gale: Fergalicious. Astarion: Gale, I said no words. Gale: Oh, I see how it works. Two weeks ago, we’re playing Scrabble, it’s not a word, now suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you. --- Halsin: Did it hurt when you fell- Gale: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt- Halsin: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs. Gale: ... Halsin: You just laid there for 15 minutes. --- Gale: Do you ever feel like exploding? Have you experienced the urge to enter the process of combustion? Has your mind created a logical idea, known as thought, to disperse your body into thousands of particles suddenly? Halsin: It’s 3 am, please go back to sleep.

Halsin: Mizora, I don't like you. Mizora: What did you say? Halsin: You heard me! Mizora, internally: And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said. --- Halsin: Your Honor, I hereby submit the following to the court: Halsin: Mizora, what the actual FUCK? --- Halsin: Do I sound smart, or am I smart? Mizora: You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest. --- Mizora: *Pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere* Halsin: Where did you get that? Mizora: My pocket. Halsin: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket? Mizora: Skills.

Taeres: This should be illegal! Astarion: It is. --- Taeres: What are your three best qualities? Halsin: I’m hot, I have soft hair, and sometimes I cry because I love my friends. --- Gale: Well, I'm very sorry to hear about your mother. Taeres: Mmm, we aren't really that close. Gale: Oh, good. --- Taeres: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture. The Squad: Awwww- Taeres: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything." The Squad: Oh.

" Quite the contrary, darling, " Astarion replied with a slight cant of his head, " Self-preservation is very high on my list of priorities... " He smiled. " --but doesn't killing a bunch of goblins sound like fun? "