d o l o s.

It’s his first and last graduation. A huge accomplishment that you celebrate with your family. However, Carmichael Davis is unable to do that. He stands alone with his diploma in hand and sad smile on his face, watching his friends and peers around him. They’re surrounded by their family and loved ones, brought into gigantic hugs and words of congratulations spoken to them. It’s a moment he’s unable to share with anyone, his only family is no longer speaking to him, not only that their whereabouts are unknown to him. He doesn’t mind it too much, he sees it as a good thing. Really, he’s been preparing for this moment for months now. The case of loneliness, of desire, of jealousy of that familial love that he’s known for eighteen years. It hurts but it’s to be expected.

Without a single word, he turns his back on the crowd and heads inside the building. It’s during this moment that it’ll be the last time any of them will see him.

trigger warnings: death, blood, mentions of violence, kashia’s bullshit

CARMICHAEL’S FINAL PARA ! ! ! 

Summary!

Carmichael decides to stay and attend Gallagher for the rest of his time! Very happy, drops his second major and changes it to R&D

Meets an African American AE professor who takes him in briefly. Wesley is very much like a father to him

Disappears after he graduates. Similar to Emmett, Carmichael leaves everything and everyone behind. Not even Wesley knows where he’s going ( he just helped him leave for Europe )

He makes an Instagram account before he leaves, follows everyone on it, posts one picture, and then gets rid of the phone. He’s dramatic

Meets his grandmother on his father’s side. She takes him in and he works in her bakery. To the people of the town, he’s just some American boy who’s apparently her grandson ( drops his accent and goes by a different name )

Stays there before he’s found by someone, idk who. Now all of his friends are aware of his location ( with Carmichael’s permission ofc ) – MORE THAN WELCOME TO RP THIS !!!!

Helps with one final mission to take down a terrorist organization in Europe. Turns out his brother works for them. Ends up fighting and killing Allister Davis. During this fight, Carmichael comes out deaf in his right ear. 

“So you thought I was cute this entire time?”

“That’s not what I-- I’m not saying that you’re not-- I just meant--” He just stopped, pressing his lips tightly together, the top of his ears were beginning to turn red. “Why are you like this.” It was more of a comment for himself than for her. 

          it’s  nice  to  see  him  lean  into  her  touch  ,   nice  to  see  that  she  still  has  that  effect  on  him  that  she  loves  to  have  .    ‘  i  liked  you  too  .  ’   words  are  said  softly  ,   fluttering  from  pink  lips  as  they  fall  upon  his  ears  .   she’s  sure  it’ll  hit  ,   but  the  next  words  she  has  planned ?  that’ll  be  a  killer  .    ‘  i  could  have  loved  you  ,  ’   she  says  quietly  ,   leaning  her  forehead  against  his    (  which  she  could  actually  do  with  his  height  )  .    ‘  and  i  think  i  did  .   for  a  short  while  .  ’   but  she  shakes  her  head  ,   nose  rubbing  against  his  .    ‘  and  as  much  as  i  forgive  you  -  i  can’t  forget  it  .   and  i  do  ,   i  do  forgive  you  .  ’    a  sigh  ,   thumb  lands  on  his  bottom  lip  .   pulls  against  it  gently  .   hi  kashia !  do  you  love  me ?  

Carmichael Davis has never had someone like him back, much less someone who admits it out loud to him. Whether it was present or past tense, it meant something to him. The idea of being romantically involved with someone always frightened him. His mother fell in love, she gave her heart and soul to a man who left her. Who broke her heart into a million pieces just before she died. Carmichael always had that stupid little fear that he too would have the same fate as Eleanor. That he’ll open up to someone, letting them into his very fragile and lonely world, hoping that they’ll love him forever and always. Until they’ll crush him, leaving without saying goodbye and never looking back. Then he’ll die, just like his mother. Or maybe he’ll turn into his father, doing the crushing and hurting someone. I’m cursed, he would tell himself. I can never love or be loved. I’m cursed.

He made a promise to never fall in love, much less have a crush on someone. Until she came into his life. Georgia Brandt was his polar opposite, if he hadn’t been parading as his brother, the two wouldn’t have met. Ever. But life didn’t work like that. It was strange and unpredictable, it made you do things you would never expect to do. Such as act as someone’s fake boyfriend. It was a childish and dramatic plan, why the two didn’t just ask Steve to handle the random student, he’ll never know. But he’ll never regret it. He’ll never regret holding her hand, walking her to class, going to dances together, texting her each night, meeting her cat, giving her the nickname Peaches, and every kiss they shared. Despite not wanting to like her or anyone, he did. He fell for the youngest Brandt so easily and hard too. Everyone could see it.

I’m gonna end up like Eleanor, he thought to himself once. I’m gonna open up to her and she’s gonna break my heart. Carmichael believed that each time he saw her looking at someone else, whenever she flirted with another person, or when she looked at a certain someone for too long. He felt like Eleanor Davis, closing in on himself and preparing for his death that will soon follow the heartbreak. Until he remembered that maybe it was Gigi who was Eleanor and he was his father. After all, Carmichael was a double agent. Lying about his name, his reason for being at Gallagher, pretending to be something he wasn’t. That after their mission and the school year ended, he would fly back home and never look back. That it would be him leaving her heartbroken as he never looks back.

But none of that was true. They weren’t his parents and never will be. They were Carmichael and Georgia, Carmie and Gigi. He remembered that as they stood there forehead to forehead, noses slightly brushing together, and the tears that stung his eyes. He felt so stupid and childish right now, acting as if this was the end of the world. But could you blame him? He was still a kid, they both were. They had every right to act like this, to be childish, to be dramatic, because they were two kids forced into a dark and harsh world. They had every right to be like this.

“i appreciate you making the journey,” ting says with as much earnest as she can manage, because she is grateful, she just doesn’t know how to feel anything beyond the overwhelming sadness that is gnawing away at her stomach every time she’s not consuming herself with something else. “i am not all that tired, really. just… is this what numbness feels like?”

@alisnmoon· || carmichael x ting

“how was your flight?” ting asks in a voice that’s almost a whisper. she doesn’t trust her voice to not break these days, feeling a bit like she’s constantly on the verge of tears. the funeral is tomorrow, but her friends are arriving today, and she’s helping get each of them settled into various guest rooms in her home. it’s exhausting, socializing, for the first time in her life. “i imagine you are very tired.”

                               even if frank’s never been to a concert he can easily categorize himself as the type who bobs with a bottle in his hand as a crutch, maybe jumps a little bit during the chorus. embarrassing — being in the audience shouldn’t be anxiety-inducing, but he immediately finds himself in the throes of overthinking. ‘   okay, yeah. judgement-free zone. you wanna take a shot ?    ’

“maybe it is not obvious,” she says just to be difficult, but also because she doesn’t think carmichael is a sinner, obviously. “supposedly, but mostly i just liked this dress.”

closed for @alisnmoon·

“hi carmichael, you look nice,” luna says warmly when she returns to the ballroom after a breather outside. “i like the accessories.”

“Hey, thanks. They belong to my brother.” By tomorrow, he’ll either pack up the accessories elsewhere or sell them. “You look amazing too. Frank’s a lucky guy.”

“you can just say you saw me and kass, i won’t tell her,” she teases, knowing the other girl has absolutely shed tears as well. “is that a confirmation that you’d come if i do? because that’s incentive.” she could just do a roommate reunion. that’d be really cute, and she’d know exactly what to make for everyone invited. “ijust… i didn’t think i’d miss it already.”

He chuckled softly. “Okay, I saw you and Kass but don’t tell her. I don’t think she’ll like that too much.” That one of her juniors saw her crying, much less a double agent. “Yeah, I’ll come. Just give me a call in the future and I’ll be there.” Carmichael was glad that she was the only person in their room who treated him normally. It was nice, he needed some sort of normalcy. “It’s been your home for four years, of course you’ll miss it. And I’m sure, we’ll all miss you here.”

“ you wore a cape? ” he’d always thought of carmichael as fashionable, but he’d assumed that was all a part of the act. maybe not. though apparently he isn’t as much of a social butterfly as he appeared to be, so maybe they have more in common than he thought. “ ah, okay. is it your last night here? ” he wants to know whether he should say goodbye or not.

                                           @alisnmoon·

                          ‘   what’s concert etiquette, i’ve never been to one. should i stand in the back, or is it a sort of free for all thing ?   ’

ting nods almost too seriously, because now that he’s told her, she’ll never forget. “pink.” predictable, probably, but it’s just true. “i am just curious. i know you said becoming my friend was not part of your mission, but while you got to know me, you are still a stranger to me, essentially.” she knows allister, not carmichael. “so i want to know things about carmichael and forget all the things you told me as allister.”