I'm never what you expect!

Yeah its wonderful you're trans and I do still love you but it also doesnt feel like anything will ever be about me. Anytime I have something you find a way to ask me to sacrifice it or tou jist forget about me. Im trans masc, you aint tried to be there for me like I have been for you.

You haven't even thanked me publicly for the support, the makeup, the shots, the motivation, supporting you in the mental hospital, trying to work on things, you kept your image but youre about to lose me. Cuz it hurts too much that youre the one everyone sees and loves and I always am forgettable. I dont even have anything. All I have it this job. When I was supposed to get a hormone check up, you got tires and an oil change.

If you are a nested couple they will take the time to pretend to honor the guidelines you all set but really they are violating them with one partner, and saying they aren't to another partner. They will not earn the equal space of partner, as a paramour, they will act as if they are a partner and then get mad when they are treated like a paramour. They will make everything you do as a couple about them.

They do not resolve things in group settings. They will agree to kitchen table and then separate all parties "because its too overwhelming to talk in groups". This is so they can tell you one thing and your partner another. They will also take on the trauma of your relationship as theirs. For example, if your partner yells at you, all of a sudden they yell at Bean too. And now they have your back if you leave, but Bean never says they'll leave your partner since they're being yelled at too. Basically, they'll make you feel justified from detaching from your partner by saying its happening to them too, all while they get closer to your partner via pretending they're having a hard time navigating the whole thing.

You cannot let them around your friends, any drama that goes on, they will take to the friend group behind your back, fish for info, and then act like a victim when that info isn't given. They will emotinally and verbally abuse you, your partner, and your friends even when they are reasonably confronted. (Ex: if i said to them "Hey i dont like that nick name id appreciate you calling me something else." They would respond: "what are you talking about? I call you that because I like you. If you dont like it you never loved me at all and you're a control freak")

Signs to look for:

They dont reciprocate vulnerability. They let a tiny bit leak out so that youre curious enough and hit you with a "its too hard ill talk about it later", only to never bring it up again and hope you forget about it.

They are poly, if they tell you they aren't violating guidelines with your partner, they are. And theyre going to.love bomb one to kake comfortable and try to partner with the other for thier own desire. They will lie directly to your face.

They will also get mad at things that dont affect pr have anything to do with them. They will berate and cuss you out to make you feel like youre wrong when youre not and will only show that side to the partner they desire, while gaining allies with the other partner against one.

They will encourage you to leave and acknowledge you being done wrong but its a lie. Its not support. They're trying to encourage you to leave and say they always be there for you, but will never mention how they'll handle it.

They punish paramours and thier partners when they dont act the way they want them too.

They will also abandon you if you are nor all about them all the time. They'll literally make up shit in their heads to act upon and leave you looking like "what the hell just happened. I didnt even do anything"

Oh and Bean has a problem objectifying black women and Trans people. Its also disgusting to see. They pedestal them and then try to control them as much as possible.

Bean is the worst kind of individual, friendly on the outside, empty on the inside. Please anyone, dont fall for thier bull shit. I dont pathologize, all imma say is, stay away from these kinds of people. They are no longer people at this point, theyre husks siphoning life from the rest of us.

And if you know me personally, do not put me in the same room as them. Their abuse and manipulation was one of the multiple reasons why I got cheated on and if I ever see them again...I dont have to say it if you know me. They were part of the demise of my long term relationship and maybe had we both been more stable this wouldn't have happened at all, however, I hope everyone sees how ugly they are in the inside and abandons them forever.

On top of that the person we were both dating, you cheated on them too. You hurt them so bad they've completely pulled away from me and iced me out all the way. I thought that maybe since you cheated on both of us, them and I could help each other through it as friends struggling with the same emotions. You hurt them so bad I cant even mention your name around them. Yet another person who says they still wanna be around me and then realizes they can't and goes away after making me think and feel like they were gonna be there. And it's not even my fucking fault.

I feel so abandoned and alone. I think everyone is a liar and words dont mean shit. I have never hurt this much emotinally in my life since I was bullied by a grown man, who was a teacher, when I was 13 years old. I haven't felt this worthless since then either. I didnt do anything wrong but im getting hurt as if im the one who broke up my life.

I really don't understand how everyone , including your own dumbass, can say "your person is the best thing that's ever happened to you and you need to see them more" and then you literally go notice scum. Not only was this year hell, I couldn't even have sex. For years I was perimenopausal, I begged you for it all, foreplay, romance, more intimate dates that weren't initially sexual but could build up to that wonderful ending, I took us to therapy, I did what they instructed, I asked your friends for help and actually took the majority of their advice, I made sure to hold up my end as a supportive spouse, especially encouraging you to transition and be who you wanna be cuz I saw you were scared and I wanted you to feel better. I did everything I did cuz I wanted to and you consistently put me in a mode of self defense. Any time intimacy came up you always "Well I have to get over what im used, to so I can give you what you need" and you never did it. Ive never had a candlelit dinner at home, never had a romantic couples massage, never experienced a nice quiet walk that leads to deeper things, never was allowed to have a break. Any time I was with my friends you always had something negative to feel about it, when you were with your friends you'd barely speak to me or check in and say its just how you are. Any time I wanted a break and communicated it you made it both our breaks and I still ended up doing things, anytime I had a break down or crises you would somehow go through one as well and it would be to the point where it would seem worse than mine and I often would have to take care of my own issues and yours.

And with a word, all my love came rushin' out

And every whisper, it's the worst

Emptied out by a single word

You ran away from all the good I was trying to do for you into the arms of a fucking "ex" and that's not an ex you just dont want to be exposed. You cheated on me with a person you used to use for your own enjoyment and we both know what that means. Its disgusting. I never worked so hard to keep something so fucking shitty and I didnt even know that it was more unsafe for me to be here. It was unsafe to love you and you lied to me, faked most of the relationship, and rejected all the support I gave you in your woman hood only to wanna walk in it now, while not even bothering to really support me as trans while we were together. Its a slap in the face. I rode hard for you when it came to that, I'd ride hard for anyone when it comes to that. You sat there and made all the excuses of how it'll never get better, cheat on me, and after I say im done with you now you wanna make all these beautiful changes (which they are) and not even acknowledge that i literally did all of this for you already and you literally made me feel like shit for it, solely cuz you were too cowardly to accept that you were finally safe to be yourself and COULD be and have a whole fucking group of people ready to protect you. You ended up kinda slapping us all in the face with that one tbh. You literally killed the friend group you built by cheating on me when all of our friends knew you could have just talked to me. You had them all thinking you were this super wife. You lied to everyone.

Like you emotinally and mentally abused me and no one believed me, I lost friends, and people shunned and judged me because of your lies, you cheat on me, and after seeing how hurt I was, now you wanna do all the shit I begged, cried, screamed, asked, pleaded for, compomised with, and been a bitch about. You took all you could and left me empty. You didn't follow through on any of what you said, you punished me when you had no authority. You were soooo mean to me. For so long I felt like you hated and used me.