she is a haunted house and her windows are broken

Going outside with wet hair from showering is humiliating because everyone sees you and thinks stuff like "eww gross here comes the wet girl". But going outside with wet hair when it's raining? Unambiguous boon because now everyone is thinking stuff like "wow, she's so topical" and "her hair is a scathing critique of the times we live in"

I'm writing to you amidst this siege, with pain gnawing at my body. Since our house was bombed, shrapnel has been lodged in my body, tearing me apart and causing unbearable pain. I haven't been able to have surgery to remove it because the entire healthcare system here has been destroyed, and I need to raise the m0ney for travel to have my operation in another country. I need your stand by me.

On top of this suffering, I'm suffering from severe anemia, which causes me to faint frequently. I urgently need your h@lp now to buy anemia medication and painkillers to alleviate this agony, and to cover the costs of my treatment, I hope you will all stand by my side.

I'm addicted to removing inane captions from otherwise good posts

*pointing to an american* you know that thing would eat you if you were a yummy burger, right??

it was never your fault they were abusive to you. it wasn’t because you did something wrong to deserve mistreatment. it was because they were cruel and you were there for them to hurt.

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

the lion concerns himself with everything

The lion is NOT sleeping tonight