A Trans Journey

Inspired by @mattyboy__matt ! A beautiful shot (no pun intended) of self injecting. Hormones are something so many people take for granted, so thank you for sharing such a vulnerable moment :)

So I’ve been debating doing this for a while but lately I’ve felt weird about taking pictures of myself. I don’t like to seem “show-offy” because that’s not the kinda guy I am. Lately everytime I put on a pair of jeans and look in the mirror, I’m reminded of how far I’ve come. I remember how jean shopping was the worst because I’d see pictures of all the models and think, “Why am I even buying these jeans? They don’t fit me right and I’ll never look like that.” Of course jean shopping was just a number on the monster list of things I felt weren’t right as I started puberty. I would give anything to send this picture of me now to little 8th grade me shopping for guitars. Just having this to look forward to during such a dark time in my life would mean more than words could express. Perhaps my dark times wouldn’t have been so awful. I know trans people come in all different body types, and we are all beautiful, but if this is what you’re hoping to go for, it is achievable for us. If there are any others out there mad at their bodies and the world, I can tell you now, it gets so much better. I promise.

Feel free to shoot me any messages. I love to help anyone any way I can.

Part of my Queer Creature Collective for my MA degree show at Norwich University of the Arts. It was amazing to get to do such a major project on something so personal to me.

UPDATE: These are now available on Redbubble!

—

[Image descriptions:

1: Black fawn among yellow carnations with gradient to purple. Banner reads: “Binary is Bullshit.”

2: Mandarin duck among grass. Green banner reads: “My pronouns aren’t inconvenient, you’re just a dick.” 

3: Grumpy hedgehog curled into a ball and glaring, wearing a tiny pink hat with a blue ribbon. Pink and blue banner reads: Gender sucks, that’s it, I quit!”

4: Purple platypus swimming through green banner. Banner reads: “respect my identity, you ass-biscuit.” 

5: Clownfish among anemones. Bubbles read: “Gender is fluid, you uninspired walnut.”

Phalloplasty, in being such a complicated procedure, comes with a lot of possible complications. A major concern for a lot of transgender people considering this surgery is the risk of loss of sensation. Losing sensation was certainly something I feared. However, thankfully, my fears have not been realised. In the following blog, I map out my phalloplasty sensation progress over the four years since I had my first stage phalloplasty.

As a gay transman, you can’t decide whether you like a guy for him or you you want to be him.