whenever i walk past someone smoking a cigarette i breathe really deeply to try and get as much second-hand smoke as i can

If you've ever felt good when you did something, that's because youre an addict. You are a fucking junkie and you need to stop right now

lord take all of my pain and sufferig and give it to elon musk

get outside and attack everyone you see. please hurry

oh that gap in my resume is cuz i was out killing people

she [cartoon bonk sound effect] on my [slide whistle] til i [BASS BOOSTED WILHELM SCREAM]

bop it

idgaf about career development im using the rest of my 20s to build my lore

New Years resolutions: do whatever i want forever

The time will pass anyways

I was a part of the russian sleep experiment but I was in the control group so none of that stuff happened to me

She's right inside me isn't she 😬

marlboro limited edition sour cream & onion pack

I noticed you havent said anything about my new wound

just jerked off and killed myself but im feeling better now can we still go on a walk tonight