A LENDING HAND

Hello All,

It's been a while since I last posted anything but I am back and will continue to write my thoughts on a weekly basis. Hope you take a moment to read them and make comments or suggestions.

So my first post of 2014 is about a recent CHALLENGE my church asked the congregation to take on, which really goes well with what I'm trying to accomplish with A Lending Hand. Our pastor challenged us all to do one anonymous random act of kindness, once a week for a complete stranger.

I thought it was a great idea and off I went super excited and motivated to be challenged in a way that encouraged me to keep pushing with my goal of lending  a hand. Mind you that was three weeks ago and despite my constant search for a chance to swoop in and do my good deeds, I might have helped 2-3 people. Not quite an EPIC FAIL, but definitely not a Whopping success in my mind.

As usual what's the point of this post, well it's two fold. One I am  reminding myself that helping people or giving of yourself doesn't always require a grandiose event. Opportunities will come in many sizes (for lack of a better term), but it's what I do with those opportunities that matter most. My second point is to CHALLENGE you all to do anonymous random acts of kindness as well and to share with me your experiences. I would love to hear about them and get some ideas of what I could possibly do.

Well-that' all for now, but as always please stay tuned for future stories from my Mentor Chronicles & Random Acts of Kindness.

Its ironic on the week of Thanksgiving that I am filled with thankfulness/appreciation for so many things in my life; However, one thing stood out from most this week and that was Lil Manny, my Mentee. I say it's ironic because I am not a big fan of the holiday, but a big fan of being thankful overall. Although I am sure I could be more thankful more often, but that's a story for another day.

For the past few weeks Lil Manny and I have been meeting and things have gone well, but in my estimation there were no real breakthoughs between Lil Manny and me. None in my unrealistic mind that passed the eye test atleast. So leading up to last week I had missed two sessions; one due to work, but got it covered with a sub-mentor and another b/c  school was not in session. This past week would have made it three weeks in a row that Lil Manny and I would not have seen each other b/c I was flying out for work. I was getting slightly anxious knowing I might not see him again. But it donned on me to go another day and surprise him and so I did. Best move I could have made hands down.

I typically go on Wednesdays, but since I was flying out that day I went on Tuesday and met him in front of his class-Surprise! His face said it all, he was shocked to see me, but happy. I introduced my self to his teacher and we walked together to our room in order to get going on his work. No that's not the breakthough-Wait it gets better.

It came moments later right into our routine as I'm helping him with his math and grammar. I asked him about football, since I know he likes it and when we are done if we could go out and play. He looks at me and says yeah, but then turns shyly away and whispers something about a game he has coming up on Saturday. I caught most of it, but missed the most important part-I had reminded him that he wanted to invite me to come and watch him play for the championship on Saturday at a nearby college. BREAKTHROUGH!!! I must admit I am a very emotional person, especially when it comes to children and it took everything I had to hold back tears to know he wanted me to come watch him play (I cried later in my car as I sat there for a moment reflecting). I emphatically said YES, I will be there. We then finished our work and went out and played full court basketball with him and all his friends for 2 hours-BREAKTHROUGH!!!

Why is that a breakthrough? Simply put It was AMAZING b/c I only planned for us to play and create that bonding time, but inevitably other kids that were playing bball with each other looked over and saw us having a good time, joking and that they wanted to be included. It went from 1 on 1 to 5 on 5, full court in minutes. Now it's 9 kids and me running full court, laughing, high fiving and best of all giving each other nicknames. I just about gave them all nicknames during our 2 hr run and it was pure joy-BREAKTHROUGH! I felt like I made a real connection not only with Lil Manny, but with all his friends. They were all excited and even the losing team was happy because we just played bball, nothing else mattered for those 2 hrs-BREAKTHROUGH! My team won by the way, I ain't going out like that!!

Overall, there were many BREAKTHROUGHS during our last visit balling with Lil Manny and his friends, but the most important one came long before I was even selected as Lil Manny's Mentor by way of his father. I will delve into that more on my next post and how it went at the championship football game.-trust me BREAKTHROUGH!

As long as I can remember I have never really had much of a relationship with my neighbors. Growing up in LA and later in Florida my family for the most part stuck to themselves, that is not to say we weren't social but for the most part our neighbors were pretty much strangers. Although as a kid my siblings and I played with all the neighborhood kids, for some reason we just never quite got to chummy with them and it seems it extended into adulthood. I write all that because on this journey I find myself on to Lend A Hand I was once again taught a valuable lesson-Being Neighborly!

The story begins with me getting up bright and early for two very important interviews on the other side of town, basically an 1.5 drive with no traffic to one and an equally long drive to the next. Needless to say it was really important I get to them. Well wouldn't you know it my car won't start the morning of-Really!!!!??? Why now is all I could think?

Ok, Step 1-I go through my check list of all the things it could be- mind you it's a short list I don't know S**T about cars. Step 2- Call Triple A, oh yes!! Another Wammy the operator informs me my card just expired a couple of days ago. WOW!! Murphy's Law in full effect is my next thought. Luckily I was able to renew it immediately. As I wait I think to myself what if Triple A can't fix the problem, I'm F**K*D!! Excuse me language.

This is where I learned my next lesson I am referring to as Being Neighborly. Why Being Neighborly? Well thankfully in the past year I have a new neighbor who moved in next door (Let's call him Steve) who on occasion we have taken care of each others dogs, watched sports, had drinks, bbq's, you get the picture basically being good neighbors.

Normally during a bad situation like this I would reachout to a longtime friend. I have plenty of friends who would jump at a moments notice to help me, but it was too late to call them they were probably at work or on their way to work. Not to mention they live kind of far from me-wouldn't do me any good. I needed to leave ASAP. So I bit the bullet and called Steve to see if he would be so kind as to lend me his car (Ballsy I know) for the day to get to these important interviews. I won't bore you with the details, but Steve didn't pick up at first but eventually called me back ASAP and was willing to Lend me A Hand/His Car. Fortunately I didn't need it because Triple A fixed the problem.

So what's my point with this novel? My point/lesson learned is not that I didn't need his car, but that he was willing to lend me his car, to help me out. I don't know Steve well enough to ask him to lend me his car, although we have spent plenty of time together. We are still building a relationship but his selfless gesture really made me be grateful for Steve and his willing act of kindness w/out hesitation.

The day finally arrived today where I met my Mentee. Before heading over to meet him I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be, but truthfully there were still some butterflies in my stomach. For privacy reasons I will change his name to Lil Manny because in some ways he reminds me of myself at his age. It turns out there was nothing to be nervous about, Lil Manny was part of the program in years past and basically took over our first encounter. I imagined us getting to know each other a little bit at first, but he preferred to do his math homework. I was surprised to say the least but it makes sense now, he rather talk school work than get personal. In time, Rome wasn't built in a day.

Needless to say I went with it. I will do better next time with taking control over our session (Mental note). Thank God I still remember long division and how to solve word problems. I can't imagine my first day and Lil Manny gets a dumb mentor who can't do basic arithmetic, can you say Major Fail? Luckily today was a success overall; we did some school work, ate some snacks, played some games but more importantly I was able to spend time with him. He was a tough read, but seems like a typical child finding his way. Although I did watch his interaction with the other children on the playground and it seems like he is one of the leaders. The other kids gravitate to him, not to mention his cute little brother as well.

It is the weirdest thing being in an elementary school environment after so many years. The smells and the sounds transported me back to when I was a child running around without a care in the world. Unfortunately Lil Manny has many worries in his life at such a young age, one's I was fortunate enough not to have experienced. I hope I can alleviate some of his worries over time.

Key Learnings:

Take control of session

Make time to share about each other

Cultivate the leader within Lil Manny

Buy spicy chips for next session-He made sure to mention it

Keep showing up

Goals:

Get him to open up

Meet his family

As I mentioned in my introduction I have been searching for ways to give back in some form or fashion for quite some time now. Fortunately an opportunity has presented itself and I'm excited to announce I will be mentoring an 11 yr old boy who is need of a positive male role model. I am unable to share the organizations name for privacy reasons, however it is an amazing national organization which does great work throughout the U.S. on behalf of children. I am blessed to have been selected truly.

I officially start next week and I am already nervous as all heck from the anticipation of meeting this young boy. I will share weekly my experiences and thoughts as I encounter them in hopes of being able to document such a scary yet crucial role I have been selected to be a part of. Since there is not much to report but the fact that I have my first official assignment on my journey of A LENDING HAND, I hope you follow my progress and can lend me a hand whenever I need it. It could be through encouragement, advice or simply just reading my blog posts.

I do not have children of my own yet, so if there is any sound advice please be so kind as to share it with me via the blog or at [email protected].

As always please pass along my information if you know of anyone that could use a lending hand. I would be honored to help.

Thanks for reading and sharing.

Hello everyone this is my first post and it’s not what I imagined it would be like when I came up with the concept for A Lending Hand. I imagined my first post being a great story of meeting some random stranger who needed assistance and I was able to lend a hand as well as get to tell their amazing story or something like that. However that is not the case. My first encounter with A Lending Hand was not me assisting someone, rather it was a stranger lending me a hand.

So what happened? Well I came up with the concept, created the blog and all excited posted my first ad on Craigslist .Ok, I’m ready to go and help the world one person at a time or so I thought. I received a few inquiries but none I was able to take up because shortly after my posting I injured my knee on a hike with my dog. Two thumbs down!! Not really.

That’s where I was taught the first lesson of A Lending Hand or the story begins. So there I am done with my hike walking back to my car with my dog when he sees another dog and they begin to play. I continue to walk and let him play with his new friend (big mistake) leaving them a few yards away. A few seconds later I hear this fast pace trotting heading in my direction. You guessed it, it’s Kobe (my dog) and his new pal running straight at me and from one second to the next BAM!!!! I’m down on the ground writhing in pain, faced down on the grass wondering WTF just happened!?!? What just happened was Kobe (70 lbs) ran straight into my knee at full speed and I am down for the count. My knee made a noise that I only heard once before and the last time it made that noise I had reconstructive surgery. Needless to say I was unable to get up let alone walk, skip or crawl back to my car. Thankfully there was one kind person who saw or better yet heard my knee go crunch from across the park. She kindly asked if I was ok and if she could help. I grunted Yes, please. This kind woman drove my car back over to me, gently helped me up, acted as a human crutch and put me in my car. She even asked if I needed to be driven home. I kindly refused, called Kobe over and went home really upset. I did say thank you, but never got her name. So thank you kind stranger for A Lending Hand when I needed it.What’s the moral of he story?

The moral is I was taught a quick lesson on offering A Lending Hand to someone. What I learned is it does not have to be so planned out as posting on Craigslist, waiting for a response and hand selecting the individual who will be graced by your generosity. On the contrary, A Lending Hand can be offered everyday to a friend, a stranger just trampled over by their dog, a colleague or family member. It does not take a lot of hard work either, it can come in the form of simply listening to someone vent or checking in with people. It took a complete stranger to lend me a hand in my moment of vulnerability to understand a very basic principle of the human experience, no one is exempt from needing help at any given time in their life. It's not always so apparent as my knee injury many times we don't ask for help due to fear, pride, ignorance or not knowing how to ask. To that I say thank you again kind stranger for helping me up, but more importantly for the life lesson. I need to apply that lesson to so many parts of my life it's truly humbling.

I hope my story was useful to some of you who read it and you continue to follow my progress through this journey of blogumenting my experience of lending a hand.

In the meantime if you know of anyone that needs A Lending Hand please have them contact me and I will do my best to accommodate them. I can be reached at [email protected]

Thank you for reading, please share and do your best to Lend a Hand whenever you can.