milk & vines

“Oh fuck me, Alisdair. Please tell me you are joking. That’s all you do with your hair? Not even a hair mask every now and then? If Adrian heard you saying that you’d get a free lecture on haircare.” had she introduced Al and Adrian ever? There was a slight possibility but Barbie couldn’t remember. “Get that smile off your face.”

“Personally, I think we should just focus on enjoying the unhealthy foods. I always say, I’m here for a good time not for a long time,” Rhiannon said with a laugh. “Life’s too short to worry about eating kale and counting calories.”

As soon as Alisdair left Bruce started laughing. He wasn’t as mentally old as Skye, probably as old as Finn. The king kept working on his stuff until the bodyguard came back looking like an upset child. “Ewok, ye’r back.”

“As long as you don’t try and poison Barbie with that,” Cat couldn’t help the smirk that was slowly growing on her face. “I’ll take a chocolate button,” she nodded as she reached for the chocolate. “So. What have you been up to Alisdair?”

“Dinnae worry, Barbie wisnae very keen on the sound ae it either.” Al chuckled. “No much, was back in England and Scotland helping Grant out for a wee while, but things are settling down so am back here having tae deal with Bruce again. How about yerself, yer majesty?”

“I ran out of shampoo. But it’s obvious you don’t, I literally brought a man to this island just to take care of my hair.” Adrian working more as her assistant than coiffeur didn’t change the fact that her hair was the main reason he was there. “Shit! You found out my secret. Either way I’m not giving you the satisfaction of ever hearing me say it.”

Bruce had to hold back not to laugh, he was really trying to be serious with the situation but he also knew pulling the height card would get to Alisdair easily. “Aye, Frodo. Noo get yer Danny Devito sized arse oot ma face.”

Catarina narrowed her eyes as she tried to think about how that would taste. She didn’t want to be the one to judge, she definitely had some weird cravings of her own but the line needed to be drawn somewhere. “I don’t even want to think about trying that.”

“It’s no fur everybody.” Al grinned, not many people were keen on the idea of his food combo. “Would ye like a dorito or a chocolate button anyway?”

“Oh,” Flavia breathed out with a nod. “I hope you stay away from my girls, I really don’t know if I can stand them eating that,” she chuckled. “Not exactly the healthiest snack out there.”

“What’s a chocolate button?” Martin asked, happily grabbing the bag of Doritos from the man and taking one. “Thanks by the way. I haven’t had these in forever.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had either.” Hansol didn’t eat much junk food. He just had never been interested in them.

“That sounds so unhealthy, but I’m totally here for it.”

“Definitely less, ye’r a right scunner.” Bruce said while shaking his head at the bodyguard. Sending Alisdair back to London to stay with his brother was indeed the worst idea he ever had. “Aye, elf, go change now.”

“You’re welcome.” she pretended not to see his eyeroll and kept a smirk playing among her features. It had been hard for her at the beginning to understand what he was saying but now she would only lose a word eventually. “Well, yes. Because you don’t use half the number of hair products I do and your hair is still so flawless it pisses me off.” she would have touched his hair at that exact moment if the height difference between them wasn’t humiliating. “No you don’t.”

“Naw, ye’re as mentally auld as Skye, maybe less.” Bruce said as he relaxed and let the strong scottish accent slip, he’d normally only use it around his kids, his brother and the man in front of him. “No matter how comfortable they are, ye look like ye’re wearin’ pajamas.”

“As much as I want to I’m too nice to do it since we both know you’d cry like a baby if I decided to stop talking to you.” the princess frowned and shook her head fervently as he spoke. “No it doesn’t, you lost all charm. You’re now an average tall muscly dude. I would’ve stopped asking if you let me do one single damn braid but no, cutting off all your hair was a better option apparently.”