is your mother worried?

tuesday status?

yup. its tuesday 👍

copy. tuesday confirmed ✅ engaging tuesday protocol

Betty Crocker mutates your children

what the fuck. hey get this off my post

on my "don't walk to metlife" post I kept seeing people say that drivers would "bergentruck" pedestrians on the turnpike and it turns out that that's a reference to an Undertale meme where a character purposefully runs over people, but the portion of the jersey turnpike that goes to metlife is bergen county, and I had just instantly accepted that there was a term specifically referring to jersey drivers from there. I didn't even question it. Neither would you, if you had ever driven there.

I sometimes feel that I'm not doing enough with my life, but at least I grew my first two arms significantly before a cactus would have been expected to.

Reblog if you grew your first two arms significantly before a cactus would be expected to

Be sure to give adolescent saguaros a thumbs up to let them know they’re doing a good job.

Nothing has done quite so much damage to my internal vocabulary as the construction #MyNoun. I don't remember if it was from that "tour of my jar, this is my twig #MyTwig" or if it was from "inappropriate attachment to objects, my tuube #MyTuube" but either way it was one of you fuckers on here. I do it every time there's my noun #MyNoun

Taking pictures of a black cat is like.. here’s my nothing… petting my nothing… my nothing looks so cute today

i love abortion and i love divorce

i pop some pills and i ride my horse

i log onto tumblr and i start discourse

eyyyy macarena