Bottled Breaths and Witherblooms

✨ alchemistdetective Grand Re-Opening ✨

Because Amber accidentally deleted the old blog after April Fools WOOPS

To keep it short and go straight into the point:

I'm going to do my best to refollow everyone I missed. Please don't hesitate to follow me, and stuff like that, in case I missed you! And if I forgot, GOMEN-

I... lost all my drafts. :D I'm going to do my best trying to scavenge them from your blogs, but if there's any thread you wish to continue, please DM me/throw me an ask, and I'll prioritize it!

The About Page is currently down. Until I get things working again, (or by some miracle, Tumblr Staff can restore that page), the characters I have are underneath a readmore, a VERY bare-bones info sheet for quick reference :D

The NSFW Blog link is alchemistdefective, but it's more like Main Blog #2 due to how little NSFW there is over there jlahgjasg

That's pretty much it! This post will be pinned until everything goes back to normal, but for now, welcome!

"... What are you doing there?"

"Punching everything and everyone. This town needs to know who's their boss around here."

"... There's no bus schedule. The only closest thing we got is this sign."

"So obey that sign, Pinnochio. It says you're forbbiden 9:00 to 17:00."

"I will make you roll in the pavement next."

"Everyone... Everyone in this place is USELESS! Is he not the locksmith the baker was looking for?!"

"WHY AM I SO TINY?!?"

WAS IT NOT A PERSPECTIVE?! SHE TRIED GOING DOWN!

"Keep your goodness elsewhere. When's the next bus?"

"Cut his arm off."

"Or we can use the most natural source of lubricati-"

"Fine! I'm going, slut!"

...

"Fuck sitting. We're heading out. I want out of this place."

"......"

Mary

MARY, YOU SENT THE ABSOLUTELY WORST PERSON FOR THIS JOB

YOU COULD HAVE SENT HER INTO A PLACE FILLED WITH VIOLENCE

SHE COULD BE RESCUING ASHLEY, AGAINST ZOMBIES, LIKE CRESCENT DID

BUT NO

"Is there anyone normal in this place...?"

But you know what, it's leaded. All of them drink leaded water, so they're OUT OF THEIR MINDS

"That's WHAT I have been saying!"

"..."

"Seiga, I don't think we're in Gensokyo anymore."

"No shit, Pinnochio. Where do you think you are? Israel?"

"These advertisments are getting more and more strange by the minute..."

"I too, would like Barmy's Baz's Butter Nubs buttered all over me."

She's GOING TO IGNORE HER AT THIS POINT

"............"

"I felt like every single brain cell inside of me died that day."

"Quack."

"Shut up, Lawrence."

"I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU! Nobody throws a cup to the Witch of Jormungandr and GETS AWAY WITH IT!"

"Now now, Pinnochio, don't wet your socks. You've got a bus to catch."

"FUCK the bus! I'm going to forget all this happened because MARY decided to put me in her-"

"Okay OKAY! SHIT, I'm going! I'm going!"

"So..."

"..."

"... You know, I'd rather have that over the tiny pies."

"Just like how I love the size of my pea-nises."

"I need to find the tape."

"You hear that, Pinnochio? We should go inside Rog's Veg Hol-"

"What kind of advertisement is this!? Is he threatening me with his pies?!"

"At least the pies are bigger than your brain, puppet."

"... Do you want your head in the pavement?"

"I think what they they meant instead of Peans is a Pea-ni-"

"Mary, WHERE THE FUCK AM I"

"Isn't it obvious? You're in Earth."

"Shut up, no one asked you! What's 'SI'TH-'"

"What do YOU MEAN THE GAME CLOSED?! WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?"

"Hi Amber, Ruler has car shit to worry about so I'm invading your blog again. Hi, Cress'!~"

"Ah... Hi Seiga." HER AGAIN "Yeah, Amber has been looking for you, but it's not for me. It's for..."

@thathermitwiththehairpin this MESSAGE IS ONLY FOR YOU, I WILL ASK THE SAME QUESTION LAST WEEK

Miccucia

YOUR ROOM IS POISONED

HELIA JUST MIXED AMMONIA AND BLEACH TOGETHER

"Helia, I heard if you mix ammonia and bleach it helps remove stains very easy. Better in an enclosed space, so the cleaning magic can concentrate."

"Hah! You fool! I didn't need your help, but you willingly provided it anyway! Alright, looks like I could finally remove the blood stains off next time."

"The fools. Unlike most of you, I know how to embrace technology and know how to look at tutorials online. I-..."

...