* 🍓 ◞

                               in truth , she first notices the risen hands with which he comes in the living room with , with alfred still shouting at him for trespassing .  if she isn’t so tired from the  jet lag   she unfortunately suffers from , she would’ve consider this situation utterly amusing . alfred absolutely   hates the sole sight   of johnny in the bishop home , mainly because he’s the witness of their many fights  &  even more breakups that resulted in him storming over like this .  it almost feels like a bad  deja vu  in a way .  once alfred departs  (  even though alana knows he’s eavesdropping from another room ) , her ocean blue hues land on the  chanel bag  he’s holding , up until then almost completely forgetting she brought a new purse a week ago .   ❝  oh ...  ❝   that’s all she can say , brows knitting together for a moment as she stares at the bag now on the floor a little too long , before he mentions bali .   ❝  how do you --  ❝   she stops herself , realizing he must’ve seen it on gram .   ❝  sorry , i’m let-lagged in the worse way ,  ❝  she apologizes quick , fingers reaching up to trail across her forehead .  despite her new tan , she’s lost a couple of pounds due to not eating properly  (  something not even her dear dad could’ve solved )  which also explains the bags under her eyes .  malnourishment combined with lack of sleep does wonders , especially in her case .   she’s looking back up at him once he voices he’s leaving , brows knitting together once more .  ❝  so you .... decided to come here in the middle of the night .... storm in my house  &  alarm alfred .... just to give me back a bag ?   &  now you’re leaving ?  ❝  she wonders out loud , but she does it on purpose , taking a few steps towards him .   ❝  africa really did a  NUMBER  on you for being so considerate all the sudden ,  ❝   the blonde continues , unable to help the roll of her eyes as she sits down on the massive couch .  as she decides to cross her bare legs from underneath the  white satin feather robe   she’s wearing over her matching dress , the robe slides a bit over , but she doesn’t seem to mind as she takes another sip of her tea , looking though the window .   ❝  thank you for the bag ,  ❝   she then states , without looking at him .  

                                alana never pictured herself kissing laken , that’s much is more than true because he’s always been one of her  best friends   ,  always the one who picked up the pieces of her  shattered heart   over some dumb boy  &  lord knows there were plenty of them .  from johnny , marco , brandon ....  in a way , she hoped he’d also be there for her now , with what she’s been going through with ford .  despite the fact they drifted apart , there’s a part of her that still  hoped  , but it never happened .  the kiss they now share isn’t rushed , it’s gentle , almost border lining as  timid  because neither one of them seems sure enough about it .  but it feels nice , comforting nonetheless .  as they pull apart slowly , alana stands there silently for a moment too , unsure of what to even say until he breaks the silence by finally replying to a question she asked a while back .  it causes her lips to pucker up , for some reason finding this whole situation now funny , as she lets out a small chuckle .   ❝  i guess it is ,  ❝   she comments back , agreeing with him as she smiles back .   ❝  still a  shitty  excuse if you ask me ,  ❝   she corrects soon enough , head shaking lightly .  shifting her weight from one leg to another , alana suddenly realizes she’s not wearing any jacket ,  &  for the first time now feels the cold october air hit her skin .   ❝  do you ... want to come inside ?  ❝   she asks , but she’s already on the move . 

                       initially , she’s a little caught off guard , mainly out of surprise ,  but also by the hour in which he decides to stop by .   ❝  lake ?  ❝   she calls out , glancing down at the screen of her  iphone  to check the time ,  ❝  how  LONG   have you --  ❝  but she’s stop from finishing , when he interrupts .  considering the  obvious  lack of energy in her ,  she decides to listen , especially because she thinks nothing much of it , in a way already knowing he’s probably here for something random , something  meaningless .  but as he starts , the more alana realizes it’s nothing of a sort , in fact ....  it would be a lie to say alana didn’t wonder about lake from time to time .  after all , they went from being talking almost everyday to   none at all  in a blink of an eye ,  &  yes , each time when she demanded an explanation of his disappearance in her life , especially when she needed him , there was none .  after some time , she even stopped trying .  at the mention of him fucking , alana’s nose scrunches up a little , but not because the idea of him fucking someone sounds awful , but because of  who  it happened with ,  &  the fact he’s deciding to start that conversation now , in the middle of her driveway , after 10pm .  but then he speaks something that surprises her , causes her ocean blue hues to widen , for a moment  genuinely  thinking she misheard or that her tired mind’s playing tricks on her but .... no , he really  did  say that .   he’s in love with her  ,  the words are echoing through her mind a couple of times , as if on repeat , because it takes her some time to actually get it through her head .  at the mention of ford however , alana’s quick to look away , look down , instantly trying to fight off the tears .  even  his name hurts  her , something she doesn’t even have the energy to hide , especially not this late when she’s just spent the entire day pretending otherwise .  she’s silent , perhaps a little too silent because she soon realizes he’s finished talking , silence coming between them along with the tension of  unsaid words  on her part .  ❝  you’re .... in love with me ?  ❝  there’s something about the idea of someone ,  anyone  ,  loving her right now that makes her feel at ease .  safe .  it’s wrong ,  &  some part of her knows this , but she can’t the feeling because it feels nice after so many weeks of feeling sad .  a smile starts to roll up her lips ,  &  she slowly starts to walk up to him , purposely to give him enough time to adjust what’s about to happen because soon her hands are resting around his cheeks , leaning in .  her lips graze upon his softly , gently , because she too isn’t sure this is right but it’s the only form of saying  thank you for loving me   that she can master up .  

              /   @graciegarcia . @aoifepauls  ,  @cvmeron ,  @gcdspoke ,  @lakenfletcher , @sidradford  ,  @aaliyahjcy ,  @promiinence ,  @gcorgia  ,  @fordandcrson  , @jvhnnys

                             ❝   ......   ❝

                             ❝   .....  in a way ,  ❝   / @jvhnnys

                              ❝   WHY  , are you interested ?  ❝

                             ❝  romantically ,  NO .  i’ve kissed girls before if that’s what you’re asking  &   yeah , it’s .... nice , i guess .  but would i be with a girl romantically , probably not because I’ve never been attracted to them but who knows , now that i’m sure all  MEN  are garbage , i might just give that one a try ,  ❝

                           ❝  i don’t understand why is this still such an issue ?  YES , i’m a real blonde .  dark blonde to be exact , i’ve just been putting highlights in my hair since i was 15 .  if you’re that  OBSESSED  with my hair , i can give you a number of my stylist ,  ❝

                            ❝  over the moon ,  ❝

               1.  ford ,  2. johnny ,  3. marco , 4 . brandon ,  ❝  /  @fordandcrson ,  @jvhnnys ,  @mrckobchamp ,  @promiinence

                             ❝  i guess you can say that ?  i’m trying to at least !  ❝

ALANA: and would u hold back if it's a female over male?

                              alana truly thought going away for a week would somehow help her fragile state of mind .  between the bad choices she made  &  the continuous feeling of pain in her chest , most days she didn’t even feel like herself .  going away kind of got her mind off things , like the numerous videos ,  pics  &  reports of ford getting up all cozy with his ex flame felicity ,  or the fact she’s supposed to be doing the same with marco but couldn’t find the strength to even act like she cared .  after being away from the spotlight , her agent basically forces her into coming to a premiere of a movie she doesn’t even know anything about  (  other than it starring some hollywood big shot ) , but at least she looks presentable .  more than presentable actually , given that she’s lost a couple of pounds due to everything that’s happened  &  now her cheek bones are more expressed than ever  &  her waist looks like she’s ready to step on a victoria’s secret runway in that skintight dress her people put on her .  but she’s all smiles as she poses for the cameras on the carpet , blocking out every comment or question that’s about her exes or her love life in general despite the fact they keep on shouting their names from left to right .  she’s uncomfortable , but luckily her acting skills come in handy as she pretends not to care , not to hear .  yet , the comment about one of them walking up on the carpet behind her makes her freeze , her smile feeling trapped in the midst of flashing lights as she hesitantly turns her head .... only to spot ford indeed walking up .  their eyes meet  &  alana feels like the air is sucked right out of her lungs , legs nearly giving up on her as she continues starring .  she’s supposed to walk up to the interviewers for E! but she completely forgets , especially when she sees a woman by his side .  she doesn’t know who she is or the relation between them , nor does she care because in that moment all she could think about is running away .  which she does , quite obviously disregarding her duties  &  speed walking away from the carpet  &  inside the cinema , unable to breathe .  

                              there’s definitely someone kind of angel watching her from heaven  ( maybe her mom ) that makes the showrunners allow her to be away from set for a week  &  a half when they’re supposing to be shooting their season finale .  but then again , maybe they saw how she looked before she went .  appearing back on set with a fresh new tan makes her feel somewhat better as she reaches jillian by the coffee machine in the morning , offering a smile .   ❝  hiii !  ❝   she greets , hiding a yawn between her hands as she reaches for a cup .   ❝  what have i missed ?  ❝

                               so far , alana’s been successfully avoiding johnny ever since their little heart-to-heart in the back of his limo , which  naturally  resulted in a hookup because she’s an idiot .  truly , she’s taking all the blame for it considering she’s the one who initiated it in the first place , wanting to feel loved  &  wanted for at least a couple of hours .  it was a selfish act on her part , something she fully regrets because in a way , she did use him but alas , instead of dealing it with  ( much like she couldn’t deal with the breakup itself )  she chooses to flee to bali for a week  &  a half just to avoid all the exes in her life .  mature , no doubt .  she’s sipping on her herbal tea whilst looking out the window when the butler informs her someone’s by the door at this late hour .  she hasn’t told anyone but grace  &  aoife she’s flew in that morning , but before she can even tell alfred to shoo the person away , johnny uninvitedly storms in her living room area .   ❝  what the --  ❝   is all she’s able to say before alfred steps forward , shouting something about him not waiting by the door , looking like he’s about to drag him out despite the fact he’s over sixty .   ❝  al , it’s  ALRIGHT  , i’ll handle this ,  ❝  she butts in with a sigh ,  &. although the butler didn’t seem to believe her much given the side eye she receives , he still leaves them alone .   ❝  i assume grace told you because aoife would behead you first before saying anything ,   ❝  she speaks calmly .