Refreshed To Be Fresh

Dear tumblr, so it has been 3 years and a couple months since I’ve last reposted or posted anything. well, here it goes. For the past 4 and a half years I’ve spent my life loving someone and tried my very best to integrate what I have learned in past relationships. So, as you can see, I’ve been so busy and consumed by the idea of loving someone so hard even though that love will be tested. Its been wonderful at times but in the end, all that withered into obscurity because, yes, i’m to blame partly. (It takes more than one to ruin something) but in all honesty I’ve poured everything into it to at least try and make things “workable” I know I know things aren't always gonna be great but if there’s one thing I know is that in my heart I know I tried. Love isn't all what its cracked out to be. I know that now. Maybe call it bitterness. I don’t know but I used to think that when you love someone, you give them everything because it’s what makes “Love” great. Well, my mistake. I lost myself. I lost the person that cared about the little details because certain things in the relationship broke that man. Maybe I am disillusioned for the moment but going through heartbreaks and heartaches is something I never miss. I know, I know I’ll get over it but I just wanted to express myself in a way where I haven’t done so in a very long time. It is comforting to me though that even though things have to end and things that you planned for aren't going to happen anymore, there’s always that promise that “everything will get better”. To be honest, she was great. She showed me that I am capable of loving someone more than myself. Everything happens for a reason is what they all say. I just wish that things were different and just remained perfect. anyways tumblr I am feeling kind of great to let it all out. Thanks for hearing me out. I still never thought I was perfect. But I know I at least tried.