Random-Blog-Of-Memories II

It has been a while since my last update. Anyway, a few days ago, Facebook notified me about my memories from last year. It has been a year since my college graduation. It’s kind of funny how I’m studying again after graduating. It’s even funnier because I’m studying my own language.

Lots of things happened within the span of that year. I received job offers that I had to decline and then I tried to apply for a job too. I got hired and was asked to come back the next day to sign the contract and be there for orientation. Fate, however, had a different plan for me. Alas, I had to withdraw from that one job where I applied. That was a few months ago already.

Today I’m studying Nihongo. I already speak the language but I need to be a little more fluent. Enrolling myself in a Japanese school was a decision that my family came upon after my arrival in the Philippines from Japan. My cloudy thoughts had a window to breathe in after talking with Mother and Madir in the room. It was just the three of us, I can’t remember where Mi Amore was during that time. Anyway, there was a lot of discussion but at the end of the day I told everyone that if the only choice is to undergo naturalization, then I will respect the law of said country. I think I also need to pay respects to my dad by going back to zero and re-learn everything from step one. So here I am now, a Japanese-Filipino who holds a Journalsm degree but is studying her other language because she doesn’t speak, read, or write much of it.

I don’t tell anyone but my thoughts have been cloudier than before lately. I’ve had to decline 4 job offers last month—it flatters me but it reminds me too that I’m setting aside that part of me for another part of me and it’s confusing me that I couldn’t sleep at night. Sometimes my seatmate would catch me zoning out. Well, I always zone out even way back. It’s just that it’s tougher now. I don’t know. Maybe the Nihonjin genes in the works? Hay... Times like this one I would usually ask Bianca out or sleep over her house and then I would plan to tell her but just spending time together would make everything okay so I would forget about it without me knowing.

Anyway again, it’s nice to update RBOM again. I’m not the kind of person who opens up about my feelings or what comes next because—that’s for another story—plus, every decision I do is just from the spur of the moment but I guess I should talk about it more.

Until my next data cap,

It's past two o clock in the morning. I was so ready to fall asleep earlier, until I read an article about Psych2go looking for writers. And you know me, I more or less fall asleep looking at job ads. So there I was, saying "what the hey" and murmuring to myself about something about 2 AM. I honestly felt like I was in a sitcom. ( Because I had just watched one and the voice in my head was there). So I grabbed my laptop, which I had not used as much in the past year, and plugged in it. As I said, it was not used much, so it was dead battery. I tried to read some articles while waiting. I was so intrigued about writing about Psychology and so forth, that I even for a while considered of making my own blog. But anyway, my laptop finally lit up, and it opened to my last log in when I was writing fluff fanfiction. It was funny to read it again. As I tried to make a new page, my keyboard wasn't working right. I figured because I havent been using it as much, and that it was plugged. By the way, I was listening to instruments here, with a ripped left earphone jacket. I closed my laptop and got back to my phone again. Did I mention that my hand was numb too? My wrist have been hurting too because I've been on my phone a lot too. I'm scrolling through memes, and suddenly this piece plays, and I feel a surge of emotions that make me feel so hopeful and that I could do anything if I put my heart and mind to it. Oh and well, to explain the next part of my story, this morning ( searching for home based jobs) I felt that I needed to do something but at the same time I liked where I was. In the afternoon, I tried to ask for advice from Akari. While I did say some unnecessary stuff trying to express myself, it actually went well because she told me about doing everything. And then when I got home, mom told me to plan early about next year, whether or not I'm going to US. She said that she wanted me to stay, but that it was also up to me. And then later that night, Dad called and showed his new TV box. Honestly, It made me think about the fast internet. And then we watched HIMYM, and I'm reminded of all the courageous words and actions (the voice in my head). Especially about the doppelganger. Man, I wish future me would look back at this moment and say some awesome things about courage too. Oh and also, supportive friends. So here I am now after my "what the hey" event. What the hey.

I love lists. So here's one about the things I want to accomplish, or at least try to:

Go to Japan as an ESL teacher

Study and get a Master's degree. RPsy

Pursue a writing career. Editor. Writer. Blog?

Pursue an art career, too. Komiket and prints.

Teach college classes

Teach children (uhm yes)

Be a Recruiter Associate

Do actual "Psychometrician" work.

Be a Guidance Associate

I know this a long shot, but it's always been my secret dream to appear on credits or be stressed about paneling and back posture, so maybe art/video editor/animation work

PUTTING UP MY OWN BOOKSHOP

Really? Be a call center agent.

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.