i've never been a natural, all i do is try try try

quitting my job to be a full time upstairs neighbor. bowling balls are in the mail as we speak

The key to writing good fanfiction is to harbor a deeply humiliating desire, and the trick there is that even pretty basic and societally-accepted desires like “being held” and “being wanted” CAN and WILL be humiliating if they’re intense enough. Become so estranged from human connection that the idea of someone playing with your hair fills you with yearning so deep you feel like you’re going to throw up and you will write some banger fanfiction. It might have some other consequences too but idrk about that.

hey guysss so unfortunately the rumors are true and im leaving the narrative. Buttt the good news is my absence will create such a gaping hole in your lives that it will become a sort of presence itself, and so in a way it will kind of be like i never left! But i am. Leaving just to be clear.

getting to that part in the day where I imagine how soothing it would be to rock back and forth in a dark room

truly an honor and a privilege getting to witness everyone's first time in public ever every single time i go grocery shopping

Week days should only be around 4 hours because that's how many I can be at work without wanting to scream, and then weekends should be 145 hours I can fully dedicate to my gazillion hobbies as well as hanging out with friends

a bad hair day will have you saying shit like it's so over for me

adult life is truly just thinking “I NEED TO CLEAN” while dealing with the 17 other things that have a hard deadline

in some way i have failed every single social interaction i have ever had

armand, his eyes enormous: you MOCK armand? you make fun of his traumas on the stage? oh! oh! suicide for the band! suicide for the band for One Thousand Years!!!!

it’s okay guys I’m literally as normal as a person in my situation can be