fuck i can’t believe i wasted my entire life being moved by art and beauty and the indomitable human spirit ugh i should’ve been making money through internet scams

cats are really useful for when you need a small animal to sit 10-15 feet away from you and stare at you with unceasing neutrality

i cant think of the fact that humans send messages saying ’where are you? who are you?’ from earth to the giant and empty space all around us for too long because it makes me cry so hard and feel so human and lonely

not a single reliable narrator in sight

iwtv is so fun because it's not really about vampires who happen to be gay. it's about gay ppl with personality disorders who also happen to be vampires

sad they give tissue boxes plastic labia folds but no clitoris

I'm begging everyone to get their flu shots

i am being hunted by a persistence predator called the consequences of my actions

me and the five other people that didn’t see the northern lights are throwing a party and you’re not invited btw

In my mind I can see the northern lights in the sky every night bc I have a vivid imagination I’m not jealous of anyone it’s impossible for me to be jealous really I’ve seen it all

imagine you make microwave popcorn and by wild chance every single kernel has the same exact popping point and after like a minute in the microwave the bag instantly fills up with a single earsplitting gunshot noise would that be fucked up or what

falling in love makes me want to eat

& actually its romantic and intimate to have someone in ur life who wants u to eat, who reminds u to eat, who treats u to snacks bc they want u to be happy and full way more than they would ever care about u keeping thin, i think wanting someone to take care of themselves and eat without shame or fear for their appearance is like the worlds closest thing to unconditional love

writing a garbage essay feels like you’re the cow who gave birth to the two headed calf. in the morning, my professor will wrap him in newspaper and dissect him on a cold operating table. but here he is alive, under the pale glow of my computer screen. he is beautiful. there are twice as many logical fallacies as usual.