Summary: Five letters Julian never sent, and one he did.Β
Notes:Β Hey @daneel-the-sister-of-castielβ! I was your gifter for the @fieldsofvesuviaβ exchange, and definitely possibly went overboard with your fic! I hope you enjoy it, and all the weird and subtle ways I worked in your flower choices (or at least their themes!).Β
Iβve always wanted to write a 5+1 fic, and this gave me the chance! It was a lot of fun to experiment, and to write a fic that was very much aboutΒ Julian, without him ever actually being the POV character.Β
A slippery boy, through and through.Β
Content warnings for blood and injury mention, as well as medical treatments and references to off-screen violence.Β
(A crumpled bit of parchment found stuck to the Nevivon signpost after a heavy rain; the writing upon it is a messy, exuberant scrawl.)
My dearest, littlest sister,
Well, by now you know Iβm gone, and are probably furious with me for leaving without saying goodbye. But β I left so early, and had so far to go, and besides, last night was so much fun Iβd rather leave that as our goodbye. The way you kicked Bertβs ass in the footrace β I havenβt laughed that hard in years. Heβll be pouting for ages.
And before anyone makes you feel bad about winning β donβt. He deserved it, especially after the way he broke your sling last year. Little shit, thatβs what he is, and donβt you forget it.
Now β I donβt know when Iβll be back, Pasha, but it might be a long time. Iβm going to be a doctor, and they have to train for years and years just to pass the apprenticeships β and Iβm going all the way to Prakra, because thatβs where the best doctors train, and thatβs what Iβm going to be. The best. I want to help people who are hurt, and broken, and I want to make them laugh while Iβm helping them, the way we always made each other laugh.
Iβm sorry, Pasha. I left early because I knew youβd want to come with me, and β and you canβt. Not this time. Itβs not going to be safe and I canβt let anything happen to you. And I knew I couldnβt say no if you asked me, and then Grandma Lilinka would have my head and then what kind of doctor would I be?
Iβm sorry. You can hate me, Iβll understand. But Iβll be back, once Iβm a doctor, and by then youβll probably have taken over as Mazelinkaβs first mate. Iβll be your shipβs doctor, and weβll never stop sailing. No storms can stop us this time.
Keep Nevivon safe for me while Iβm gone, all right? If you canβt reach their eyes, aim for the knees.
Pasha didnβt cry, not when she tripped going down to the baths and knocked out her front four baby teeth in one whack. She didnβt cry when Bert and Abbott stole the glass beads Mazelinka gave her for a birthday present, and she didnβt cry when she woke up from nightmares about the ship going down underneath her, and losing her grip on Ilyaβs hand.
So she wasnβt going to cry over her stupid big brother leaving, especially not when he didnβt even leave a note for her to tear up and stomp on when he was gone.
