AltAizhit

Ghost Story

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ER doctor: you mean if I just send you for a leg ultrasound right now and it's clear you'll leave?

Me, picking up my book: yeah, I'm just gonna read until we get it done

Fastest ER visit ever (it was not in fact a clot but I sure would have felt dumb if it had been)

Or, "hey so this test result came back weird and so I think we have to rule out a benign pituitary tumor."

The more specific I get with what I need the faster they order tests. For the RA diagnosis it was, "hey this is probably some weird post viral arthralgia but could we do an arthritis panel since I've got 27 affected joints?"

If the doctor says something dismissive or they don't know, I ask for them to refer me to someone with more expertise in this area.

I had to go through three different practices to find a spinal surgeon who did not tell me that operating on me would be too dangerous because I'm fat. But the third one was like, "Oh, I'm not worried about you coding, there's just a risk that it won't work. But it has a hundred percent failure rate if we don't try."

I did not code. The surgery worked. Was it perfect? No. Did it drastically improve my quality of life? It gave me my fucking life back. I can sit. I can be out in the world and not in blinding pain.

It is so important to not take dismissals and such as the final answer. I got so much bullshit for so many years. It nearly killed me twice, people blowing off clots as muscle pain or "depression".

Track your symptoms. Make a list. Talk about how it affects your quality of life. Ask for physical therapy, ask for second opinions. If you have an idea of what might be wrong, ask them to help you rule it out. Also ask for patient assistance, nonprofit hospitals have it. You might have to go through their labs and their doctors but it can cover an awful lot.

Take a friend with you, or a family member. My pcp asks if I want a chaperone (I don't) but literally having an extra person with you can help.

I mean sometimes they do yeah. I know a white guy with monolid eyes and zero known Asian ancestors and he absolutely experiences anti-Asian racism on a fairly regular basis because people think he’s mixed Asian/white. I know a woman who was told throughout her life that she was Native as an adoptee with no known history or background who experienced incredibly violent amounts of anti-Native racism until she discovered as an adult through DNA test that she is 100% white. I know white people who tan incredibly dark in the summer comparatively that are constantly accused of being mixed race and experiencing racism due to that, usually anti-Mexican racism perpetrated against white people with Greek or Italian ancestors.

If you think cis butches don’t experience both transphobia and misogyny and homophobia for daring to be women who break gender roles while still holding onto their womanhood you’ve sorely misunderstood just how bad butches have it in this world sorry. If you don’t think cis queens experience transphobia and homophobia and misogyny for daring to be men who break gender roles while being loud and proud about it and still holding onto their manhood then you’ve sorely mistaken just how bad they have it in this world as well.

Not to mention all of the cis men who wear dresses and skirts and makeup and nail polish and heels simply because they like them who experience all of these things. All of the cis straight women who simply just exist but something about them doesn’t pass society’s “woman enough” test, leading to them being caught in bathroom bills and sporting rules and being attacked by people who mistake them for being transgender or gay.

Just like how straight people experience homophobia to such a degree that they literally beat their children out of any potential deviance from rigidly upheld gender roles and let politicians make jokes on national TV about how they’d drown their pre-teen kids if they came out as LGBT. Do you really think a straight kid still figuring themselves out hears that and doesn’t internalize that homophobia? Doesn’t rigidly hold themselves to some impossible standard so that no one could ever possibly think they’re gay? You don’t think straight teenage boys who maybe don’t pass some bully’s straightness test are getting the shit kicked out of them for “being gay” when, surprise, they aren’t? You don’t think all those kids being attacked by their priests and coaches and teachers are being told “this wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t gay” when they’re literally not gay? Do you know how many straight kids had close calls at my school that famously expels all gay kids, because someone made up a believable enough rumor? Do you know how many of them still got their shit kicked in even though administration ultimately decided to let them stay?

All bigotry is violent and all bigotry catches people it doesn’t “intend” to and hurts them as well. It doesn’t matter what someone’s label is, or if they even have one. It matters if the person enacting the violence is doing it because their victim didn’t pass whatever “acceptable enough” test they didn’t know they were being subjected to.

Equiping an armor tutorial

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i feel like simon wouldn't be weirded out by the "watching you sleep" thing, he was a prisoner for at least a while. and im sure there wasn't much room on Eden for privacy. on the same hand, why would anyone have a "sleepover" when they're all constantly having a sleepover? ergo: what the fuck is a sleepover

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close ups \/

Her Haunting Voice Remains