the universe has moved for us

kitten I’ll be honest the finality of everything in this world haunts daddy like a second shadow

this recent trend of teenagers using genAI chatbots to talk to fictional characters is fucking grim. what you should be doing is roleplaying on private messages with your friends until the lines between you & the characters begin to blur & you develop some very complex & confusing feelings for each other that culminate in a massive fallout you dont have the tools to process nor understand

going to get my blood tested and dr acula and nurse feratu walk in. hope everything is ok

undiagnosed autistic people will be like "I don't get upset when my routine changes though!!" and it's because they've built a set of if-then loops in their head to pick from one of 6 different strict routines and they do get incredibly upset when they're unable to keep to any of the 6 scripts. I'm john normal

i'm having a bad day. someone is going to die today (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) and it's not going to be me. (gets scared someone will report me to the police) people around the world die of natural causes every day. (remembers i want people to think i'm smart) and i know who it's going to be (remembers i want to retain an air of mystery) but i'm not telling.

Idk how many young people are still on tumblr but as a college academic advisor please listen to me: it is fine to drop out of college. It’s great even. You can drop out of college if that is what is best for you. However. Please. For the love of god, actually drop your classes. Go to the registrar/your advisor/your student portal/whatever and withdraw from your classes. Do not just stop attending. If you just stop showing up, you will fail all of the classes you’re enrolled in. This will tank your GPA, and if you ever decide you want to go back to school for a specific career, those Fs will come back to bite you. My college program is fairly lenient for our field (healthcare) and still we have to turn away a bunch of students who don’t have a 2.5 GPA, and the reason is that they attended half a semester of college in 2000, dropped out without withdrawing, and ended up with a 0.0 GPA and 16 credits. It’s very tough to recover from that. Even if you think you’ll never go to college, please just withdraw from those classes. Depending on when you withdraw, you may still have to pay for them, but at least there will be a little W transcript that will save your GPA.

beautiful women named magenta cartridge low are trying to contact me on my printer

Every morning, I put on my thinking cap and my smartiepants. Unfortunately, there is no shirt that properly proclaims my intellectual abilities, so I have to go tits out

Your landlord is a parasite. Your employer is a parasite. Your hot vampire gf that's slowly sucking you dry while joking about how weak you've been getting? She has a right to be there.

[staggering to my feet and wiping a single perfect drip of blood from my mouth] i have to get back on my bullshit. no matter the cost

girl you've been running through my mind all day

nothing makes you feel like more of a flop than not getting a phishing scam in your inbox even though the problem is apparently so prevalent that tumblr had to put out a site wide warning on everyone's dashboard

i just can't convey the frustration and sorrow that it's been to grow up at first without the internet and then watching it bloom into this useful, fun, connecting force you sometimes spent time on, only for it to degrade into this constant oppressive waste of time and energy where people are constantly pumping out algorithmically designed content for max algorithmic appeal and even the most simple search generates either no results or an infinite abyss of ai generated slop none of which is usable or correct. we briefly had a library of alexandria and then fed it into a paper shredder so advertisers could sell a random mash of pulp back to us at a premium.