nothing but my screams left to give

This isn’t my first rodeo, alas I don’t believe I still have a possibility of finding my old poetry. I post (original as well as reblogging others’) poetry, songs, short stories, and fanfiction. Here is my ao3 account!

WARNING: My poems may include themes of suicide, self harm, and/or eating disorders. I will trigger warn them in the tags, please block “tw suicide”, “tw self harm”, and/or “tw eating disorder” to avoid seeing those.

Hi! My name is Kit and this is a side blog. My pronouns are primarily it/its, although they tend to change often.

My url is built from Greek roots to mean eternal suffering. “Aion” means long-lasting/ eternal and “pathy” means suffering/ emotions. My url can be interpreted as any combination as those, but originally the idea was “eternal suffering”.

🌙tagging system🌙

#escaped screams - original poetry

#old poem - poetry from my old blog/ that’s been sitting in my drafts for a while/ that was written a while ago and just not posted

#not a poem - other

#original song - my original songs :] usually rb’d from my main

credits to 🩵 @lunamoth-moons 💛 @strangergraphics for the dividers!

I need to wash my face Then try to sleep, I should eat some food Then brush my teeth.

I need to get a job! And go to school! Give all I’ve got! But still play it cool!

I want to text my friends And call my mom. I need to go to therapy (And not lie). I should to try to live And not want to die.

I want to smoke And get way too high. I want to drink. I’m going to cry.

I need to cut myself, Free myself, From who I am inside.

I need to starve myself And go to bed. Empty stomach, Empty head.

I need to earn your love! I need to stay! I need to be enough! I need to earn your praise!

I should to block my ex And move on. But I want to have sex And write another song.

I should get healthy And I should be better, But I can’t do that So I’ll settle For washing my face And trying to sleep. I’ll wake up tomorrow, To eat some food Then brush my teeth.

Do you ever think of me Even accidentally At all? When you try to sleep Are you haunted by dreams Of us? Of me?

You’re in all of mine. I wish I were lying, Or making this up for a poem. But I’m not. And you are In every dream I have.

I can’t go an hour Without thinking your name. I can’t look at flowers Without seeing your face.

Do you even remember My favourite colour? It’s been a few months I told you in November Listen, I get If you forgot it. Please just be honest.

I miss you. I want you Back. You hurt me, But you fixed me.

Would you kiss me With salt on my face? Would you sit with me In my smoke-filled place?

Would you listen If I started to cry? Would you hold me If I wanted to die?

Would you still say “hello” Now that you know where it goes? Would you stay with me?

I’m no fool. I’m not your first, Nor second, Nor thirteenth choice.

You hold me, but never too tight. The lights stay off, Your eyes stay closed. We won’t tell a soul!

I’m with you, But I’m always alone. I stare at the screen Hoping, praying You’ll reply.

It’s a lost cause, But I try, And try, And try. I promise I try.

Once you find someone better (Which can’t be hard), You’ll leave.

The wound might close, The scars could fade. But the pain Never will.

Did you know scars can reopen?

One more kiss! One more touch! We’re back at the start.

My eyes are wide open I want to feel it all: Your lips, your hands, your heart, You.

This’ll never work, But I try, And try, And try. I promise I try.

The salt will always sting. The wound will reopen again. Again. Again. “Can we try Again?”

I want to keep you, You just can’t throw me out.

I’ll stop crying to the moon, I won’t make a sound. I’ll be your’s, Never officially (You don’t do labels I learned that early on), But you’ll never be mine.

It’s fine! I’m fine! Fine! Fine! You’re so fine.

I don’t feel human next to you, Or maybe I do? You’re like a god. You’re like my god. The god of indecision. God, that sounds like you.

I worship you relentlessly, You pretend I don’t exist. I wait by the altar, You drink till you’re sick.

I love you, You love that I love you. Love, Love, Love. I’ll never have your’s. I’ll never have you. But, at least you’ve given me salt. Poured it straight into the wound.