ah well, ANOTHER mental breakdown

i want a story where humans encounter an alien who frustrates them because they don’t know enough to tell them anything concrete

like humans will ask “tell us about politics in your planet!” and the alien’s all “uh… hold on it’s been a while since i took gov. um….”

“what sorts of plants grow on your planet?”

“i dunno i grew up in the suburbs. they’re like… purple? idk what you want me to say”

“tell us about the culture on your planet!”

“do you have any idea how many fucking countries are back home, i don’t even know where to begin”

“your planet is obviously much more scientifically and technologically advanced than ours. is it possible for you to enlighten us on certain matters concerning space travel, or would that be a form of interference you must avoid?”

“take me to your leader” 

You have no idea how inspiring that was to me, to see Mama Imelda basically say “fuck it, I’ll do it myself” and create a legacy that lasts well after she’s gone. Even in the Land of the Dead, she doesn’t have time for Héctor, she has a business to run, and a family to provide for.

What taxes are

How to vote

What political parties are

How to write a resume/cover letter/anything related to getting a job

How to write a check/balance a check book

Anything to do with banking

How to do loans for college

How to jump start a car or other basic emergency things

How to buy a car or house

but I’m so glad I know the fucking pythagorean theorem

How to do taxes

What taxes are

How to vote

What political parties are

How to write a resume/cover letter/anything related to getting a job

How to write a check/balance a check book

Anything to do with banking

How to do loans for college

How to jump start a car or other basic emergency things

How to buy a car or house

BONUS

How the stock market works (and how to invest)

How insurance works (house, car, life)