nice grl club

i get uncomfortable with asking people if they want to “hang out,” because i feel acutely conscious of the fact that it’s tending to a need for human beings to be around each other, which is kind of a serious & helpless & existential condition, which has to be casualized and equal measure to all these things just so we can deal with it looming every day as an implication in the background of things, & social life can actually function. if i ask a coworker if they want to hang out, that’s not overstepping a boundary, but if i tell a coworker i need them, that sure feels like crossing a line. but at the root these feel like the same thing. you have to say in different words to people, “i need you,” every day. i think i even subconsciously categorize it like a sexual proposition, because it’s the same type of collaboration. people can be horny & want to have sex with other people & they only have other people to go to about that who are in the same situation & have no option but collaboration against it. the same energy looms in any restaurant booth amid even the blandest scenario. this is everything that can weigh on prospective “hanging out”

they hate me for my ardent refusal to accept cruelty as the status quo