there was a whole episode of parks and rec about this

#iconic

i send 50 texts in 1 minute

This is the absolute best post ever. The citizens of Pawnee are my heroes.

what if someone tried to rob a nightclub and he ran in and screamed “everyone put your hands up” and everyone was like “yeah dude” and kept dancing

I rely so heavily on Amazon reviews yet I can’t be bothered to post any myself.

If hackers were to install a key logger on my computer, they would mostly just record endless strings of W, A, S, D.

The people that are the most addicted to their phones text me back the least.

People who don’t smoke get the time that smokers get for smoke breaks at the end of their lives.

Watching Thomas the Tank engine as an adult I’m appalled by the number of large scale industrial accidents there are on the island of Sodor

The Church is technically the worlds largest book club.