Still in transit

Three young black Muslim men shot execution-style in Indiana. Muhannad Tairab, 17. Adam Mekki, 20. Mohamedtaha Omar, 23. #OurThreeBoys 

Tina here. Yesterday, Jezebel posted an article about Nik Severson, who has spent the last week counter-protesting an abortion clinic in North Dakota. Versions of Saturday Chores have occurred all over the U.S., and as far away as Australia. It’s been incredible to watch, especially as we’ve decreased our activity in North Carolina after installing a fence to protect patients from all the hubbub. But when the clinic director and several escorts expressed concern with Severson’s actions, I felt compelled to speak up. A letter to Nik Severson, which I hope will eventually reach him, below:

Nik,

Hey, man. It’s great that you want to protect women as they are entering and exiting the only abortion clinic in North Dakota. That’s a wonderful and selfless thing to do.

I know you said you received death threats for your counter-protest. So have I. I’ve been harassed more times than I can count. I’ve feared so deeply for my safety that I couldn’t sleep at night. I’ve had people ask me if I had facial reconstruction surgery, because my face is “so fucked up.” I’ve been called a devil, a dude, and an “abortion enthusiast.” People even found my workplace and threatened my co-workers and clients. I’m on a first-name basis with our city’s chief of police.

So, man, I get it. It’s easy to feel like a victim here. But have you ever sat down with the director of the clinic you’re counter-protesting, and flipped through the book of people who have threatened them? It’s hundreds of pages long, man, and it’s in every clinic. These people get threats like you wouldn’t imagine, and they still go to work each day without the internet cheering them on. So, man, I’m sorry that things are difficult for you right now. You’re going to be okay. But you’re not the hero. The clinic staff is.

I know you said that nobody is doing this like you, man, and that you’ve never heard of Saturday Chores so we can “piss off.” But as a self-described “keyboard cowboy” and internet troll, it’s surprising that you missed when my husband and I made the front page of Reddit, or when we were named one of the Best New Tumblrs of 2014. Maybe you missed when we shared the exact same sign you’re holding, but did you miss when George Takei shared it, too? If you did, that’s totally cool, because arriving on this idea organically probably means we have a lot of things in common, like our quirky sense of humor. So, I hope you’ll understand when I say that I appreciate what you’re trying to do. But this has nothing to do with getting noticed on the internet, man. It’s about creating a safe space for people and maybe—JUST maybe—giving them a tiny reason to smile. 

Don’t harass escorts to take your picture, or to tweet at celebrities with your sign. This is a health clinic, man, and your desire for notoriety has no place here.

Speaking of which, have you ever talked to a clinic escort? If they tell you you’re making them uncomfortable, lay off, man. These people have been working to make this situation a bit more tolerable long before you had the idea for a funny sign. Respect them. They work a lot harder and take a lot more shit than you do, man.

Finally, I know this one will be unpopular, but you’ve got to respect the protestors, too, man. I know you said it’s your goal to make this “the worst experience of their lives,” but they’re human beings doing what they think is right, just like you are. Antagonizing folks with a deep-held (albeit, deeply wrong) belief isn’t going to help anyone. They’re not going to change their minds just because some jerk with a sign told them to. And it’s sure as hell not going to help the people who are there to use the clinic. And that’s what it’s all about, man.