dead star !

a sentence starter prompts list comprised of quotes from the novel the will of the many by james islington. please be advised that this list may involve topics including, but not limited to death, violence, and religion. change verbiage as needed.

watch your step. it gets slippery down here.

so what is it all for? debts? a woman? some vice that you cannot bring yourself to give up?

i know it’s not in your nature, but if you’re ever going to swallow your pride, tonight’s the night.

i’d have thought twice about coming out here if i’d realized my opponent was such a coward!

chain your anger in the dark and it will only thrive.

i wasn’t trying to kill him.

i think you’re so used to resisting, you don’t know how not to.

sometimes bullies are better off with the truth, no matter how unpleasant.

a ladder should not be climbed from the shoulders of others.

you’re placing a lot of faith in the abilities of someone you’ve just met.

conviction is admirable, but it can only take a man so far.

what i want to know is what are you punishing yourself for?

they killed your family. stole your home. don’t you want to do something about it?

this is my best chance at finding something approaching a normal life.

you only have this chance because of me, and you seem to be under the mistaken impression that this is some kind of offer.

you can still back out, but this is your last chance to do it. is this opportunity worth it? is it worth your life?

it’s hard when the lies that let you sleep are so cruelly laid bare.

you’re welcome to rest and eat before you go.

if i believed in the gods, i would say they led me to you.

there is always something more to lose.

i can hate without it coming to violence.

hate is its own violence. your choice is whether to let it hurt them, or you.

i have come to bring a reckoning for your decisions. your weakness. your blindness and cowardice and complicity.

silence is a statement. inaction picks a side. and when those lead to personal benefit, they are complicity.

you should have told me all of this from the beginning

if there is something you should be telling me, i assume you will.

you’re brighter than most—but bright doesn’t mean brave, or caring, or heroic. more often, it means the opposite.

a man will always wonder what might have been, but a wise one recognizes fortune when it comes.

how could you not resent them for what they took from you?

there comes a point in every man’s life where he can rail against the unfairness of the world until he loses, or he can do his best in it. remain a victim, or become a survivor.

there can be no love without honesty.

there are more measured approaches to justice than punching.

just because you are good at something does not make others bad at it.

whether the obstacles to our advancement arise from our ties or our actions, we need to learn to overcome ourselves. it’s not fair, but nor is the world.

a fair system only works if there’s an unbiased means of assessing merit, which means that fair systems cannot exist where people are involved.

sometimes, i’m not sure there’s anything of the real me left anymore.

there are those who see what should be, and complain that they do not get their due. and then there are those who see what is, and figure out how to use it to their advantage.

you’re not planning to kill me, then.

a cut’s only worth it if there’s poison on the blade.

we do not have to be enemies.

if all you’re trying to do is change who’s in control, then you don’t really want to change anything.

you cannot be free if you are afraid to die.

be safe, and for the love of all the gods, don’t get caught.

i am just trying to remember the last time i so vastly overestimated someone’s intelligence.

you have a reputation as a killer.

in this place… each man has to find his line. has to find it ahead of time, and be resolved never to cross it.

don’t mistake inaction for neutrality.

violence is no answer to grief.

there’s being brave, and then there’s throwing your life away.

what do you believe makes a good ruler?

don’t equate having less heart with more intelligence.

not pleasant, seeing your trust betrayed, is it?

remind me to never get on your bad side. i have no idea how i’m going to repay this.

you’re so mysterious and unpredictable.

i want you to know that you are my friend. that you have my full trust.

i envy you, you know. your capacity to do that. to trust like that.

you rotting, fetid coward.

i’m going to make sure you burn for this.

"I   dare   you   to   try."

"Do   you   always   get   close?"

"You’re   pushing   my   limits."

"Stop   looking   at   me   like   that."

"I’m   losing   control   here."

"You   have   no   idea,   do   you?"

"I   can’t   resist   you   anymore."

"Stay   back,   or   don’t."

"I   know   what   you   want."

"This   is   getting   dangerous   now."

"You’re   too   tempting   for   me."

"I   shouldn’t   want   this,   but…"

"I   don’t   play   fair,   remember?"

"Careful,   you’re   testing   me."

"You’re   just   making   it   worse."

"You’re   too   close   for   comfort."

"Do   you   always   push   buttons?"

"Stop   before   I   kiss   you."

"You’re   making   it   too   hard."

"I   can’t   stop   thinking   about   you."

"I   want   you   too   much."

"You   know   exactly   what   you’re   doing."

"I’m   not   playing   games   here."

"You’ve   crossed   the   line   now."

"Keep   pushing,   and   you’ll   regret   it."

"This   is   dangerous,   isn’t   it?"

"I’m   trying   not   to   care."

"Don’t   make   me   regret   this."

"You’re   playing   with   fire."

"You   don’t   know   what’s   coming."

"I   shouldn’t   be   this   close."

"We’re   getting   dangerously   close   now."

"I   can   feel   the   heat."

"Don’t   test   me   right   now."

"I   want   you   too   badly."

"Don’t   make   me   chase   you."

"You’re   distracting   me,   you   know."

"I   won’t   fall   for   this."

"I   want   you,   but…"

"What   do   you   want   from   me?"

"I’ll   never   give   in."

"I’m   trying   not   to   care."

"You’re   playing   with   my   patience."

"Don’t   make   this   harder,   please."

"I   can’t   stop   this   feeling."

"I’m   already   in   too   deep."

"You   won’t   walk   away   unscathed."

"You’re   walking   a   fine   line."

"I’m   trying   to   stay   calm."

a breath is taken, and he holds on to her hand the way one would a lifeline / desperately between trembling fingers. ❛ my star, i could never be angry with you. i couldn't imagine a scenario where i would ever be angry with you. ❜ an illogical statement to make, as the traveler was as capable of error as any creature given life. but it's already been established that reasonable thinking cannot be properly counted on in situations of extreme emotional distress. he hopes they do not mind the lapse in critical thinking. ❛ it's no fault of yours for my tears. i’m crying because of my own actions against you. ❜ he wishes to—— reach out. to hold / to cling / to beg to not be isolated yet again, to have them stay by their side. he does not wish to lose the love he's found. he does not wish to lose his star.

❛ you trusted me. you loved and trusted me to not use you like how everyone else has used you, and i've broken your trust. in my attempts to ensure my family would no longer harm you, i lied to you. in my attempts to protect this city, i used you. ❜ he had told him, confided in him of the cruelties of the gods / the denizens, and he had— he had promised never to hurt them the way they had. but he did. reckless actions, ever-growing pressure, and his own hubris had been the reasons to keep lumine in the dark. but it is albedo’s turn now, to be left behind.

—— THE DOG WHO CRIES AFTER IT BITES IS NO BETTER THAN THE DOG THAT DOESN'T / none of the others cried, he loves me, he loves me / STOP IT, IDIOT GIRL, HE'LL DO IT AGAIN / will he cry then, too? / DID HE NOT THINK IT WOULD HURT ME? DID HE THINK I WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND? / if i'm going to be turned into a tool, it would be nice if they at least pretended to be sad to do it / IT'S STILL BEING USED / it's something, something, i'll take scraps —

Their voice is dazed when they murmur, "That's...fine. To use me." It isn't it isn't it isn't / EXPECT NOTHING ELSE! "I understand. It's...normal to use me. You don't have to be...so sad." Despite it all, they do no like seeing him suffer ( they do they do they do, the small desperate childish part begging for more, if only as proof he loves them not just the way he loves a scalpel ) and it will destroy him if he shatters like this every time he makes use of the Traveler / of his stars.

( forgone conclusion : despite all this, he will keep using the blunt object who adores him. )

( yes, yes it was. to want more than he deserved, to steal more than he was given. to suffice on scraps is more than enough, for something as unloved as him. a voice, soft and motherly, whispers in his mind: come back to the portrait, and be happy. )

❝ and why, ❞ it asks, ❝ does he? ❞ the wind howls—— bites at exposed skin, turns it red, red—— but it is not an answer. ❝ why does he deserve it? ❞ to them—— oh, to them, rubedo is the mirror image, the one who stole another man's face. BUT THE TRUTH IS REVERSED, ISN'T IT?

A twisted kind of empathy / and of no use to either of them. BROKEN COPIES OF A PERSON MORE WHOLE, MORE WORTHY OF BEING ALIVE. The Lumine at the beginning of the story would despise the words —— the cruelty she wields like a blade and the ease at which she wields it. They are, the both of them, so good at being cruel. But Lumine is supposed to be the hero / supposed to be merciful / and she isn't. Not anymore.

( a thought, quick, a moment of soft, changing colours in her chest : would he be more whole than i am, if the roles reversed? )

the response registers the moment liquid is first felt trailing down calcified cheeks, a clear indication to the agony the situation has brought upon. there is little for albedo to do but take a moment to attempt composure, to make sense of the pieces of shattered heart. ❛ i wasn't aware that's what you thought of me. ❜ and maybe more than the hurt of his betrayal, it was the hurt of this perception that cut the deepest.

there is surely nothing that could be done to rectify the damage done, not even with the assistance from the alchemical process. he has destroyed the love they had so bravely placed upon his hands, had taken for granted the starlight shining upon his days— this hadn't been part of the experimental blueprint. ❛ but due to my recent actions, i can't fault you for having that view. thank you for letting me know. ❜ what good would an explanation provide now?

grief crashes against the mechanisms of the heart, wash over where logic and reason had once stood tall. there is a— crack. the cityscape melts away to an isolated campsite amidst the forest, to an empty tent and a long gone out fire. he is: alone. the one who he felt closest to has cut the ties that bond them / the effect of his actions? the result of inadequate performance? had he done something so wrong that isolation was the only available option? surely— the fault lies with him. 

there is a—— crack. expression collapses under the weight of this grief and albedo cries for the stars that no longer shine in his sky. a positive, the still struggling logic whispers, for they were never meant to shine in your sky. they were never your stars, you wretched creature.

The numbness now is swallowing / something sick making up the empty. Pollution, not just grief. How strange, to watch their lover cry while their face is perilously vacant. She's never seen him cry. Watched him hurt, certainly, but never cry. It's always been her doing the sobbing. ( she's reminded of aether, and how she cried to him so much more than he did to her. perhaps that's why it was so easy to leave her. she needed — as ever — too much. ) How strange, that this moment would summon Albedo's tears when nothing else has.

——— Why is he crying? They can't help but wonder. There's something small, childish, not - quite - hope trying to pierce the abandoned god's heart ——— maybe I'm wrong? Is he crying because I'm wrong?

Savage, quickly, don't hope. Don't want. Don't need. He's not arguing with me. He's agreeing. Don't need more than that. He used me, like everyone else. Stop being stupid or you'll deserve the pain next time.

How strange, to watch him cry and not understand why. He doesn't understand, so he can't process. Or his heart is already so hurt, it isn't allowing him to.

The earth is tilted, just barely. Lumine stands from where they sit. The earth is tilted, just barely. Lumine closes the distance, not quite sure, not quite awake, unable to parse this reaction or the reality in which it exists. Albedo had used him like an object. Albedo had lied to him. Lumine has merely put that reality into words. He sees them as an object — if that were not true, he would not have used them as one. "I don't understand why you're crying," Lumine confesses. They're not sure where they can touch him. They can't —— nothing makes sense. There had been something like sense in the mess of her / Albedo sees me as an object / I can be smaller, I can want less / it makes sense that he would use me, because that's why I'm here. Miserable arithmetic, but at least the math checks out. Lumine is not a person. No one truly loves Lumine as anything but a tool to use. But why would Albedo weep for a blunt weapon?

This is probably the only time anyone has ever said I envy you to Vergil. Knowing it's stupid, he feels a spike of pride over her words, even knowing the better truth that no one should envy him. Lumine thinks he didn't die, but he did. Twice.

—— Or maybe there would be. God's head turns to look at the devil, eyes dim and half - lidded, and feels nothing at all.

the darkness that follows the collapse of an ancient star is haunting, even more so to one who stood so selfishly within their shine. the chill that creeps upon him at the absence is more noticeable than ever, a cold isolation that seeps deeper into the marrow of calcified bone now that there was no constant heartbeat beneath his heels. the memory of an abandoned campsite comes to mind ( it had been cold that morning, as well ) and the ghost of a mother reprimands him: was he not, before anything else, an alchemist? was his dedication not made to be devoted to the pursuit of knowledge?

he had not been created to succumb to the vapid tidings of the human heart. he was the perfect invention / the ideal that cemented rhinedottir as the greatest in the scientific world. 

eyes move to find their place of solace / rest upon the clouds that cover the mountain — would she be proud, to see how far he’s evolved? would criticism be given, on where he failed? he would make mentions of this in their next letter.

nigredo is the first step of the alchemic process: the most difficult stage, to some. but albedo stands firmly upon the petrification and decay of what once was, holding what remains of the stars she had once gifted him. a substantial starting base.

but it is in the albedo stage ( ironically enough ) where he reaches the current hurdle. for how could he begin to undergo transformation when the information still remains unclear? lumine makes a statement, but there is where albedo finds he cannot continue.

What is he testing, the Stars wonder idly. Is there a right answer? An answer that will earn Lumine more using / less leaving? Is he testing their affection, or their understanding of him? Is he testing to see how much they will tolerate, or how little? Lumine doesn't know. Months ago — months that Albedo was already lying, already planning on using — they wouldn't have worried. They would have simply trusted that Albedo's intentions towards them were good and kind and answered. What a foolish girl she was.

They feel — however dimly — something like fear. If there's a wrong answer that will lead to abandoning...it's a hazy dream, the time when they would rather be alone than Albedo's object of study. Pathetic creature. Teyvat's most pitiable god.

Gold eyes lower. They watch their fingers, still and scarred, against their ankles. They don't feel the breeze. They barely breathe. They know what Albedo sees them as. They don't know what answer he wants. If he leaves them, maybe the lesson would finally stick. Maybe it would be enough to tear out her heart entirely.

Lumine can't die. But the closer they can get, the less they need, the less they can be hurt when those needs are not met.

"Mean," she says, softly, not to him. Just a simple observation. Making her put the sad reality into words. A test, to see if Lumine truly can learn to want less? A test, to see if Lumine can bear the reality? Large eyes draw closed. It's okay. Lumine can learn. Lumine can survive on less. Albedo's done nothing but behave exactly like every other person on this world. Lips part.

Ah. The sun is almost gone.