I am agitato grande

This is not about the Alice Ripley situation, nor is it about any performer that fans feel has messed up either in regards to a serious attitude problem, a careless comment, or an advocacy issue. This isn’t even about how fans react to those situations (that’s a conversation for another time).

Some actors are friendlier than others and will engage more with fans, and that’s truly wonderful as long as everyone is appropriate. This means that unless the actor knows the fan personally (they went to camp/school together, they are a family friend, the actor met them through Big Brother/Big Sister, etc.) the actor is not taking them out for solo meals or bringing them back to their dressing room or being physically affectionate. This means that the fan, while supporting the actor in as much of their career as they can afford (coming to see their shows, taking classes with them online or at BDC, buying their books if they write them), isn’t filling up the actor’s DMs using them as free therapy or following them home or contacting everyone the actor follows on Instagram and asking for contact information for the actor.

I am friends with a small handful of Broadway/tour actors, and at one point or another was FB friends with all of them (some have deactivated their accounts).

Of these:

Three Broadway actors are friends of mine from high school One tour actor is a friend of mine from summer camp Six or so tour actors are friends of mine from my comedy community One Broadway actor is a friend of mine from my comedy community

Of these:

All my high school friends who are Broadway actors are either currently performing in a show, or will begin in a few days (their show has been open for some time, but they are replacing a lead who is going to do something else)

My summer camp friend is not currently employed in the theater industry (he seems at peace with it, but it’s bumming me out because he’s incredible and I miss him)

One of my tour actor comedy friends is currently touring, the others are not (some have left performing, others are looking for the next gig)

My Broadway comedy friend has two shows in the next week (both of which I am seeing), but he is not currently in a Broadway show or a tour

My Broadway comedy friend is one of the nicest people I know. Because I have an extremely limited income, I have not actually been able to see him in anything on Broadway, and this goes for basically all the other professionals I met through this comedy community (although, in their cases, it was more that they had their tours before I met them and their tours did not come through where I was living before I returned to NY, or they went on tour AFTER I met them through our comedy community). He was in a beloved (by fans, at least) Broadway show a few years ago, involved with it at most of if not all the early incarnations of it, and performed in it for its entire run. When it was turned into a film, he was not cast, but he was not alone in that (also, the director is a dick). The show is now going on tour, and again he was not cast. While his casting would be a loss for our comedy community, we love him as a person and wish him all the success in the world, and getting cast in a tour is a huge success we all would have celebrated.

“Why is she talking so much about him?” you ask. Well, because since he is one of those kind and giving people who wants fans to feel connected to Broadway and his work, he often will accept fans’ friend requests on social media. I have not heard any horror stories yet, so I firmly believe he is one of the people who is keeping it all above board. That being said, news about his career or the shows he has been involved in is regularly available by a Google Alert or through following Playbill or BroadwayWorld or, you know, he will announce it.

Despite it being very public knowledge that he would not be appearing in the film version of his latest Broadway show, he has a handful of fans who post about the film every time they watch it (especially now that it has become available on streaming services) and tag him EVERY TIME. Despite the official social media accounts for the show announcing the tour cast, he still has people publicly posting on his page telling him to “PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE INVOLVED.” As someone who was literally there the day he found out (I wasn’t there the moment he found out, but I saw him later that day) he wasn’t involved, I can’t imagine it feels too good opening up your browser to see a reminder from someone who didn’t want to do ten seconds of research on Twitter about something you won’t be doing or were not asked to do in the past.

It already has bananas and carrots in it what’s the surprise??! The diarrhea your gonna get after?

Has anyone had it before and is it good,? If it’s good then nvm send over the recipe but 😀 it doesn’t sound great.

One is that it’s an actual dish but there are no bananas or carrots in it and that’s the surprise.

"we are announcing falsettos 2: falsettos in space. everything is the same, except they are in space."

I have this concept which is Glee as Falsettos characters and if you think about it, it works really well.

What I imagined is that, after the show ended, between the 5 years of 2015-2020. They hear about this Falsettos revival and all decide to audition together.

Blaine as Marvin. They are both concerned about their masculinity and both had moments where they thought they liked women. Where as Marvin develops as the show goes on, Blaine has less development. 

Kurt as Whizzer. This one is obvious. They are both very comfortable with their sexualities and love fashion. Also who wouldn’t want to see Klaine perform the Thrill of First Love or What Would I Do? And we all KNOW he would be amazing in You Gotta Die Sometime or The Games I Play.

Tina as Trina. Now this may be surprising, because what about Rachel? She would be amazing as Trina. SHE’S EVEN JEWISH! But think about it, Tina’s voice and emotions would be so perfect as Trina, I can’t even. She would totally kill I’m Breaking Down and Holding to the Ground. She and Kurt also have a similar relationship to Trina and Whizzer. And her name is even one letter off from Trina’s!

Sam as Mendel. I considered Mike for this role as well because he and Tina just have so much chemistry but I think Sam would really nail this role. His voice, his attitude. I imagine that he gave up on modeling and decided to audition just for fun, and got in! And he and Tina are best friends, so they could play a realistic couple.

Santana as Dr. Charlotte. I mean, she is a spiky lesbian. I feel like she would rub it in Rachel’s face that she got in while Rachel didn’t, despite her not even auditioning. 

Brittany as Cordelia. Brittany would be so perfect in this role. Her voice and weirdness just fit Cordelia so well. And who wouldn’t want to see a Britanna-Klaine duet of Unlikely Lovers. I think that would break me.

So I figure that Jason’s baseball game was in April 1981 (Baseball is a spring sport but April can still be kinda cold, hence Trina’s long sleeves and Mendel’s sweater). If we assume that Marvin and Whizzer got together again THAT DAY, they would be a couple during Passover, because Passover was late that year. So the TKF was all together! Yay!

Marvin, Trina and Mendel all argue over what haggadah to use. Marvin’s family has used the Maxwell House Haggadah for years, Trina’s parents always had to wing it because her father is Ashkenazi and her mother is Sephardi and they compromised by creating their own haggadah together but Trina doesn’t want to go all the way out to Westchester to get copies of it, and Mendel wrote a version of the haggadah with the Jewish student union at Columbia when he was an undergrad and it’s full of typos and Whizzer is like “what is this hippie shit?” and Mendel’s like “oh, please, your grandmother’s name is Mary Kate Catherine McCatholic, don’t come after me about my haggadah.”

They decide to compromise: they’ll use Mendel’s haggadah, they’ll serve the foods that Trina’s family had at their seders when she was growing up, and Marvin gets to read all his favorite parts.

Cordelia is super interested in all things Jewish, and asks Jason a ton of questions about the holiday. Because Jason’s still studying for his bar mitzvah at this point, he’s in hardcore Jewish Mode and tries his best to answer the questions so he can tell Trina he’s doing something Jewish but still avoid having to learn his Torah portion. Cordelia finds out that it’s another one of those “they tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat” holidays and offers to help Trina cook. Because most Passover food is pretty narsty even before Cordelia’s influence, Trina doesn’t notice how atrocious Cordelia’s attempt at Jewish cuisine is until after the holiday, which is why Trina hires her for the bar mitzvah.

Trina and Marvin also argue about matzah ball soup. Marvin likes his matzah balls light and fluffy, Mendel and Trina like theirs heavy and dense, Jason prefers to have multiple small matzah balls that he can launch across the room with a spoon into the dog’s mouth, and Charlotte is very confused by the idea of matzah balls in general.

Charlotte has a bunch of medical books and Jason decides it’s appropriate to show everyone what boils look like when they get to the “Plagues” part of the seder. Nobody wants to eat after that.

Whizzer makes a lot of constipation jokes. He is in charge of dessert and brings those gross kosher-for-Passover rainbow cookies, and Marvin’s like “that’s too gay, even for me,” and Jason refuses to eat them after Trina tells him that they won’t make his poop rainbow.

Jason is in charge of the after dinner entertainment. He subjects all six of his parents to a two hour long stuffed-animal reenactment of the Exodus story, complete with musical numbers. At the end, he gives out autographed copies of the script and it is revealed that he and Whizzer have been working on it together for six months over the phone (Jason dictates because Whizzer is a much faster typer).

The dog finds the afikomen before Jason does. Jason’s not even mad because the image of the dog running around with a big sheet of matzah in his mouth is so funny. It’s less funny when the dog tries to bury the matzah in Jason’s bed and Jason spends the next three months finding crumbs everywhere.

Charlotte has a lot of Jewish friends, but this is the first seder that she’s been to and she reads everything as it’s written, figuring that any typos she sees are just Hebrew words she doesn’t know. Marvin has to correct her and be like “no, that’s a typo, it’s ‘boils,’ not ‘bolis,’ and that’s salt water, not 'slat water,’ Mendel’s just a sloppy typer.”

Whizzer smiles through the whole seder, and Jason’s happy because he thinks it’s because Whizzer and Marvin are back together, but really Whizzer is just trying to hold back laughter at the various ways Cordelia pronounces “Charoset.”

Jason is sick of always having to be the one reciting the four questions, so Cordelia asks if there’s anything she could do to make it better for him. He says yes, and that’s why she beatboxes while he recites them.