I’ll always be just so inviting

might also save me from the “let’s stay friends” conversation. if he thinks i’m the jilted one i can be like yeah im gonna need some time………

i’m decided to wait until merc rx is over to break things off but i’m getting a download that he’s going to beat me to it

after all that i should have realized i was just a coping mechanism. and like, i was aware of that to a degree. and i felt sympathetic enough that i was willing to help. but seeing it spelled out so clearly to me now makes me feel so weird. here’s the thing though. as mad(?) as i am its not like he really did anything wrong. he didn’t lead me on and promise me anything and i didn’t either. he’s not chained to me and he has the freedom to do whatever he wants. BUT it doesn’t change the fact that i feel ive been used even though i have also (to a degree?????? maybe not) used him back. i don’t think i would have changed anything but now i know. don’t get involved with emotionally volatile men who are going through traumatic events. or at the very least have an awareness that you are a coping mechanism and he cannot see you for you. just the value that you bring into his life with your mere presence

can’t believe i almost didn’t notice this man PLAY IN MY FACEEEEEEEEEEEEE