KC//EJ

Yeah it’s your heart that makes the beat

And the rhythm guides me home

Oh it’s only getting stronger now

Only move at dusk and dawn. 

Cover yourself. The sun is an old and angry thing. 

Try not to leave tracks. 

Not all that is visible is real. 

Not all that is real is visible. 

When you start hearing the voices of the dead, settle down and do not move. They will pass you by. 

Do not approach caravans. 

Dreams had in the desert are either prophetic or real. Decide wisely which to believe. 

There are no wolves here. You will hear them anyway. 

Never rest in the bottom of a dune valley. 

Do not speak to anything that has not proven itself to be human. 

When the sand shakes, run. 

Cover your mouth. The sand will coat your lungs. 

Seeing things in the day is not a problem. Seeing things at night should be.  

Never play the flute. 

Always carry a sack of sugar for hungry things. 

You are meat. Do not forget this fact. 

If there is something in your periphery, do not look at it. It wants you to. 

Dig yourself into the ground in a sandstorm. The wind will take you away. 

The flames are not real. 

The shadows are not real. 

Never close your tent flap all the way. It is impolite. 

Never let your lantern go out. 

The ancient have no love for the young. 

Do not drink water offered to you. 

Do not watch the dancers. They will trick you. 

There should be no clouds. If there are, move until they disappear. 

Travel alone. You will invariably lose your companions. 

Someone will cry out for help. Do not follow the voice. 

The murmurs of veiled ones are to be disregarded.

More guides

How to Befriend the Monster Under Your Bed

Pornodroids- like Red and Blue, a line of Androids of multiple models that provide hourly services that you can guess the nature of by their name

Housekeeping androids- a line of autonomous androids that provide housekeeping services, rented through hourly rates similar to the pornodroids. I think it’s likely that all profits from their work would go to BLI, and they’d only be left with plus rations. They might also be housed with other service androids in small apartments like Red and Blue live.

Parental Androids- BLI finds out little Suzie forgot to brush her teeth before bed? Then mommy will be replaced by a more suitable parental figure programmed with all necessary child development background. As BLI claims that their androids aren’t capable of human thought or feeling, criticisms have been raised saying that they can’t be capable of providing the emotional support necessary to raise children. BLI’s Certified Doctors™️ beg to differ, as ‘emotional support’ is unnecessary if you take your correct dosage of medication.

Customer Service Androids- we see Blue talking to what appears to be some sort of droid/bot to request a new battery, so I think a lot of customer service (especially in government run facilities like this) would be done by these droids. I think in one panel you can see that they’re actually connected to the desks, so I guess they’re just built in computerized service personnel. Pretty creepy thought considering that the androids we see are fully sentient.

hello?

can anyone hear me? 

i’m- 

*brrrrrzzz* 

and i- 

*vRRR* 

i don’t know? i’ve been off the daily medications for a few days now. my head is throbbing… everything is spinning…

let me see… things are a little blurry right now…

… … …. ….. *ksshhh*

hello?

can anyone hear me? 

i’m- 

*brrrrrzzz* 

and i- 

*vRRR* 

i don’t know? i’ve been off the daily medications for a few days now. my head is throbbing… everything is spinning…

Make sure you store enough food. Tommy Chow Mein won’t be around forever and neither will you.

The desert isn’t the only place the Killjoys live on. They live on in your hearts and your skin, in your brains and your breath.

Get used to wearing your masks. It’s harder for the Phoenix Witch to bring you home if she doesn’t have anything to bring home.

Most of you aren’t important enough for the Scarecrows. You should be grateful for that.

Draculoids are easy enough to take down, if you have a good relationship with your gun.

If you want to keep your color, get your bleach and dye. You’re going to run out eventually but it’s better to run out later than sooner.

Your jacket is your second skin. Get used to it.

Waveheads are worse than Dracs and Crows. Stay away from them.

Your radio is your new best friend. The static might get you at some point but without your radio, other things will get you first.

Don’t rely on Dr. D. He’ll take care of you, but not always.

Sunscreen.

Poison: Kobra should’ve been back days ago. What if he got himself ghosted?

hello?

can anyone hear me? 

i’m- 

*brrrrrzzz* 

and i- 

*vRRR*