resilient

dependent sharon carter for reshieldedhq. ━━ penned by summer.

maybe he should just be grateful that sharon listened to him—  she definitely had better things to do.   “name one good think about the internet.   one of the little shield interns showed me  thirst tiktoks  and if i’m honest,  i think the torture sessions were worse.”   overly dramatic  &  layered with sarcasm,  he can barely hold back a laugh,  “i do plenty of better things with my time like…  —   reading.   gotta catch up on all the books i missed.   actually on that note:   can you explain to me why they made three hobbit films?   they didn’t need that many.”

sam kind of hates how perceptive sharon is - they can’t get away with much around her. makes her really great at her job, sure, but being called on their shit with no remorse is exhausting. (though, they know it’s because she cares.)

“fine,” sam relents. “it hasn’t been easy on any of us, all this multiverse mess, and i don’t think i need to tell you that this job isn’t easy, either. little hard to find time for myself when i’m constantly being whisked off to god knows where to deal with god knows what.”

sharon nearly smiled at the way sam relented. she could tell she’d gotten something right, and even more so, she could tell that irritated them a little. she liked the satisfaction, but the moment was too serious, so she her expression matched the mood. at least now they were being open and honest. 

“ms.carter.” his way of a greeting. amicable, polite. while erik may be doing things a bit differently as of late, his feelings for homo sapiens hadn’t changed in the slightest. dealing with them often led to more headaches than necessary. precisely why sharon carter was always a relief to deal with. she was competent. excelled at her duties. he refused to deal with anyone else in shield. “i have a few updates to provide you with.”

@agentcarter​

“I do see your point. Perhaps it’s just hard to avoid thoughts of it when the city has been preparing for it since January,” Brainy wasn’t up-to-date on their knowledge of human holidays unfortunately, but they made a note to read up on any future celebrations that might be relevant, “Oh, this is a drinking holiday? I was under the impression that St. Valentine’s was for lovers, and people waited until St. Patrick’s to get inebriated.”

of all the people to sidle up next to sam, sharon is probably the least surprising. every time he’s in, she’s there too, which again isn’t much of a surprise considering how she seems to be on a never-ending hustle since she fled the u.s. (for him, because of him, sam doesn’t think). sam scoffs. “rich coming from you. you know the kids are spreading rumours about you getting a pull out in your office that never actually sees the light of day as a couch.”

SHE BOUGHT FLOWERS.   well  ,   wanda  actually  grew  them    (  with  her  magic  ,   to  get  the  perfect  shade  of  pink  ),   but  if  anyone  asked :  she  bought  them  .   because  she  just  wants  to  participate  in  something  ,   feel  normal  ,   and  she’s  donned  in  a  red  dress  -  offers  the  other  a  grin  .“  hi  sharon  .   i  was  thinking  we  could  uh  -HAVE A PICNIC INSIDE.  but  not  .   you  can  pick  where  we  go  -anywhere  .   i’ve  been  getting  better  at  this  …illusion  stuff  .  ”

They’d told him, with all due respect, to get a goddamn life already. Natasha had spent years trying to set him up, trying to pull him out of the thick cloud of memories he carried with him. He lived here now. He lived now. He wasn’t a weapon, a symbol, a pretty face on a poster. He was a human, a flesh-and-blood man with a heart he’d wrapped in layers of armor. He’d fallen in love once, and he’d never get her back; he was spent, he was done, he’d had his fill. He’d tucked himself away and stayed there, resigned to the hand he’d been dealt. Steve Rogers died in the ice in ‘45, and Captain America had been thawed out.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

Then there had been Sharon. So like Peggy and so not, so smart and strong and a little bit terrifying, willing to coax him out and deal with the shards of ice left in his bloodstream. She was the closest he’d been to being alive this side of the millennium, but it hadn’t been enough. He hadn’t been enough. Steve had tried, he had, really, but he’d never stopped living with a foot in the past, never been able to put aside his mantle entirely. He could take off the helmet, lay down the shield, but he could never stop carrying the weight of Captain America.

They hadn’t made it long.

He hadn’t seen her since he’d returned, and he hadn’t known if he’d wanted to. He hadn’t known how to. What did you say? How did you say it? He’d been around a long time, he’d seen everything from HYDRA bases to alien spaceships, but he didn’t know how to deal with relationships. He’d never had much luck. But here she was, standing outside his door, file in hand, looking… displeased to see him.

Steve blinked. “Were you looking for Bucky?” he said. “He’s just stepped out for a bit. He should be back soon. Do you want to…?” And then he stopped, sighed, ran a hand through his hair. A hundred and seven years old, feeling like a teenage boy stumbling over his words. “Hi, Sharon.”

the minute she spoke, she should have turned around and left. but as silly as it felt and as much as she hated it, steve had had a pull on her for as long as she could remember. he was a good person. he cared about people. there was a time he cared about her. sharon was never one for serious relationships, always kind of reserved, but steve naturally brought this other side out of her. he made her want to be soft and caring and loving. and she was all of those things, she’d just had few people to share her affection with.

her feet stayed glued to the cement, watching as he spoke. was he thinking about her at all other than thinking about the fact that she was standing here? “yeah,” she said, still sort of just standing and looking at him. she hadn’t quite processed what to do yet, or his words entirely. but sharon let out a soft sigh as he ran his hand through his hair. it felt like he was as lost as she was. “hi, steve,” she returned.

it would have been easier if she hated him, or if she was over him, but she wasn’t. she’d really fallen in love with him, and that feeling stuck around. that, she reminded herself, was why she didn’t get involved with people. she was here on a mission, and she was getting distracted by steve. she needed to focus.

“everyone keeps telling me that  facebook  &  instagram  and all that crap—  best inventions of the modern era.   you’re all wrong.   the clear answer is the invention of the splayd…   the only correct use of social media is telling other people how cool splayds are.   i don’t want to hear about sandra from work’s fucking brunch again.   i want to talk about a knife-spoon-fork combo.”   (  * @reshieldedstart​  )

@reshieldedstart​

where: s.w.o.r.d or s.h.i.e.l.d training compound

sam is tired. maybe more than tired, actually. the exhaustion settles in his bones, and for a moment he lets his face fall, sheds the composed captain america expression he feels he wears more often than not lately. (when was the last time he was home?). and of course, he knows the exhaustion is really bad when he reaches for the coffee machine, to prepare his fourth one of the day. (the coffee at the compound comes in a can, bulk and pre-ground. sarah buys them the good, whole bean specialty stuff from a gourmet shop in the city.). sam sighs to himself, rolls his shoulders, and convinces himself that, at the very least, no one is nagging him about being cap right now. no one needs rescuing. (except…maybe himself). sam gets a moment’s break and the planet keeps spinning.

[   🔥   ]    𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽    𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝚁   .  .  .    @reshieldedstart​

          he   looked   like   hell   .   .   .   not   in   the   way   women   lusted   for   pete   davidson   but   in   the   way   man   feared   steve   buscemi.   he   hadn’t   slept   for   a   while   ,   clearly.   his   expression   was   much   more   gaunt   than   usual   and   constantine   was   the   type   of   man   who   made   his   distress   quite   literally   everyone   else’s   problem.   needless   to   say   queens’   local   library   had   more   tension   than   a   real   housewives   reunion.   ❝   good   god   susan   ,   i   will   put   the   fucking   books   back   when   i’m   done   with   the   fucking   books   ,   alright   ?   fucks   wrong   with   you   people   ,   eh   ?   can’t   some   bloke   from   across   the   universe   do   some   damn   research   ?   ❞

…   @reshieldedstart​   !

          “  whatever   it   is   …   i   really   don’t   care.   no   offense.  ”     lack   of   sleep   mixes   like   acid   with   social   interaction.   most   days ,   she   can   keep   it   together.   or   so   little   voice   in   her   head   claims.   not   that   anyone ,   at   any   point   in   her   life   (  read :   career  ) ,   has   accepted   her   bullshit.      “  unless   the   next   words   out   of   your   mouth   are   ‘aw   but   bobbi,   i   brought   you   coffee’    —    can   it   wait ?  ”      okay.   it’s   harsh.   a   touch   too   much.   she’s   starting   to   sound   like   her   mother.      “  at   least   until   i   get   some   caffeine ,   please.  ”

“Am I supposed to have thoughts on this whole… Valentine’s evening party they’re throwing?” Rather ridiculous, if you asked Brainy. And no one did, but they were going to give their opinion anyways, “I wasn’t aware Valentine’s Day persisted as a city-wide celebration.”

@reshieldedstart​

ever since the blip was undone, her life had gotten even more complicated. there was a certain level of personal hurt everyone coming back inflicted on her. it was purely selfish. and sharon sure as hell wasn’t saying she wished it hadn’t happened. but the guy she was seeing immediately left her, and her ex disappeared entirely, leaving her to draw some conclusions. it felt like she was no one’s first choice, no one’s priority, and it made her feel some kind of way that she didn’t want to acknowledge. 

sharon carter had always been good at focusing on work, but with so much personal unrest, she found herself spending the last two years on overdrive, an attempt to do anything and everything to avoid those feelings. sharon didn’t have the time to feel insecure or sad or lonely. she had a whole world that needed her, and if she lost focus, people would suffer. and so, she hadn’t made any efforts to reach out to some people all too often, but she needed bucky barnes for something, and so she found herself approaching the address in his file.