every demon wants its pound of flesh

I swear to God...

Alright, mate.  I have no idea what you're talking about.  I'm entirely certain that I know more about this job than some spikey haired little punk, so don't you dare insinuate that I don't.  But if you'e determined to take it to physical blows, don't let logic or reason stop you.  Go on, mate.  Go ahead and cause your bodily harm.  I'm sure we could find another replacement guard to come fill in for you.

Oh, I’m just getting started. Kidding. Others in the house are far more clever than I am. Don’t be a brat. Teasing isn’t nice.  Well, thanks for filling in while you’re here, I suppose. Not that it isn’t appreciated we just miss our friends, you know? No, really. I mean it in the best way. I’m actually quite fond of your sister.

You're welcome, doll.  It's nice that someone has enough sense to show a little gratitude.  I'm sure you do, but hopefully this has set an example for your friends to not lose their tempers or let their personal lives interfere with their professional lives.  Are you now?  I must say, it's the first time I've heard that.

Oi. And here I thought you could maybe fake a little bit of humanity. Clearly not. What I meant was if you’d been reassigned from another charge. Like they did with me. So, maybe before you go and insult my intelligence next time, you could ask for a little clarification, yeah?

I'm still not convinced of your intelligence, but I'll placate you.  Sure, mate.  And no, I have other duties within the agency, such as guard training.

I guess, yeah. Luna and Ryder, you mean. Right. Well, knowing your sister she’ll be back in no time and doubt Casey’s crazy about being away from Luna, so he’ll want to get back ASAP as well. I can’t imagine you’ll be here too long.

Deveu and Wilson, yes.  That's just heartwarming, isn't it?  I'll be here so long as I'm needed, mate.  Never assumed that meant I'd be here long.

We’re people, you know. Not labels. You aren’t speaking reason. You’re threatening and I don’t understand why. I’m not doing anything that puts myself or this house in danger, so how fucking dare you. I don’t think you’ve met Keaton before so I daresay you aren’t the best judge of his intellectual abilities.  You - what. This literally makes no sense. What could you possibly want from me that requires not one, but two cases of emotional blackmail? I’m as you put it a spoiled popstar so what corner could you possibly be so keen to shove me into? Do you really need to dangle us above a pit so we sit quietly and sit up straight and eat our veggies and make your life easy? 

Yes.  I tried to play nice, mate.  I certainly wouldn't call it blackmail, so much as ensuring cooperation.  With the resistance you're giving me even now I think it's safe to assume that you wouldn't have cooperated any other way.  But you will cooperate.  I don't much enjoy repeating myself, so I hope you won't make me say this again, but I will make Deveu's life hell.  Your choice, mate.  Not to mention, the training which you will receive could potentially be life saving, should you ever become separated from your guard.  I'm surprised this hasn't been an emphasis with all of the inhabitants of this household, given the threats you've already suffered.  In essence, you should be thanking me.

Okay dude, I don’t really know what to say to you except for the fact that I think you’re literally fucking insane and you need to back the fuck away from me right now or I swear to fucking god I will light your ass on fire so fast.  Papa K would never let you replace Casey, you’re bluffing and I’m calling it.  That’s - I - fuck.  Shit.  Wait.  Hang on.  You leave Ryder alone or I swear to fucking god.  I don’t know what I’ll do but it’ll be something drastic.

There's no need for dramatics, love.  Though clearly I'll have to do a search for lighters and anything flammable when I do a search for alcohol.  So long as you cooperate, we won't have any problems, yeah?  So, first order of business is to make sure the colour is removed from your hair immediately, it's unnatural.  And make sure you watch your tongue in my presence, sweetheart.  It's not ladylike to cuss.

Knowing your sister even just briefly, that doesn’t surprise me all that much. Well this’ll be a fun change. Everyone here’s really nice, even if it feels kind of crowded sometimes. Oh! And you’re guarding Ry and Lulove, right? You’ll love them, they’re so sweet. 

It sure will be, gorgeous.  It sure will be.  Well I do hope I've made a good impression thus far.  Wilson and Deveu, that is correct.  I'm sure I will, and I hope to instill equally strong feelings in the pair of them. 

Just because my father runs the American branch of the agency doesn’t mean that insulting that entire side of the agency is going to insult me. I can do my job, and keep my protectee alive. You don’t even have a protectee. But if you want to play blaming guards for the failings of their entire agency, I’m sure the Australian one has some black marks in its past we can put your name on.

Wasn't looking to insult you, mate.  I was merely stating facts.  If your agency and colleagues had done their jobs properly, more of you would be alive.  Plain and simple.  Not to mention your protected would not have been jeopardized, for an entire week, I hear?  And I suppose you're going to want a gold star or a pat on the head for getting them back, but fact of the matter is you still let them get kidnapped, right from underneath your noses.  That never should have happened.  So clearly you need to reevaluate your definition of doing your job.  I do not have a protected of my own, as I aid in the running of this branch of the agency.  Myself and my agency are equally spotless, mate.  Don't go throwing around petty accusations you have no real proof to back up.

Wow, your family get togethers must be one hell of a pompous hate fest. I’ve been all over this country and can honestly say I’ve never met anyone remotely like you guys. Thank God. No, we’re not understood. I’m sorry, did you get lost on your way to bad parenting school? I am not your bitch. I’m not a solider. Not your child. I owe you no sort of blind submission. I will not give up my free will, thoughts, or feelings, and you can fuck right off. Less reasonable than complete and total control of me? Is that even possible? No. S’not gonna happen. 

Well this is rather unfortunate, isn't it.  I was expecting a bit of reluctance from the addict but I was so hoping that the spoiled pop star would read between the lines and listen to reason.  I think you'll very soon find out that you are, as you so eloquently put it, my bitch.  My sister is weak and your guard before that was unintelligent, you could benefit from having a little structure.  You will do as I say, and you will do it without hesitation.  I was hoping you'd see it my way on your own, but just to make sure we're on the same page and that I've made myself clear, I'm going to let two things known.  The first regarding that boy you're fucking.  I will personally see to it that he is assigned another guard and removed from this household.  I do have a certain sphere of influence in the agency.  The second, as you clued in to yourself, you are not the only protected who has been placed into my care.  If you do not behave as I see fit, I will make sure Miss Deveu suffers the consequences, are we clear?  Oh, and there's no need to mention our deal to anyone else, I'm sure you understand, mate.

Okay first of all excuse the fuck out of you.  Second don’t fucking tell me what to do, and third you’re never going to replace my real guard so you may as well stop trying now.

Alright, princess.  The way I see it is that you're not just a hazard to yourself, but you're a hazard to everyone else around you, and therefore, some structure needs to be implemented.  You are under my command and my protection, and you will answer to me without argument or hesitation.  Just to make sure I'm making myself clear, I'm going to make sure you're aware of two things.  The first, if you do not cooperate, I will personally make sure that I stay your guard permanently, and that you never see Windsor again.  Do not underestimate the type of authority I have with this agency.  The second, you are not the only protected that has been assigned to me.  Mr. Wilson is also under my care and if you do not behave as I see fit, I will make sure that he sees the consequences of your actions.

Stop, you’ll make me blush. You know, I don’t really see the family resemblance. You’re so much nicer than your sister.

We wouldn't want that, would we now.  Well thank you, love.  I can't say it's the first time anyone's told me that.

Really? Huh, must not be very good at it or you’d have your own guardee to protect, instead of playing substitute teacher for your baby sister’s.

And the American guard team as a whole must not be very good at it or more of your team and your protected would be alive.

Only happens once, I think you’ll survive. 

I wasn't worried about that, mate.

Oh hi! Je m’appelé Alyssa! You must be Victoria’s brother? Nice to meet you. 

Ah, a beautiful name to match with an equally beautiful face.  Pleasure's all mine, Alyssa.

Other… oh. So you’re responsible for me and Luna. Sucks to be you, mate. My physical safety is up to you. My wellbeing has nothing to do with you and is being taken care of elsewhere. Not that I wouldn’t be tempted by that face if things were different, of course. Though, I’m guessing this is the part where you tell me your darling sister is the black sleep soft one of the family, isn’t it? 

That would be correct.  I think you're going to find that isn't the case at all, but you'll soon see I won't be arguing with you.  How charming, though I wouldn't get involved with a guardee even if I did ... swing in that direction.  Not at all, mate.  Our other brother is the black sheep soft one, if you must know.  That's the good of guard training, I suppose.  It does a rather nice job of weeding the weak ones out.  Now, you're going to listen, and you're going to listen well.  You're going to do everything exactly as I say it, exactly how I say it, and there are going to be no arguments, no hesitations, or anything in between, are we understood?  I'm hoping you're not going to try to push any of my buttons, because you will find I tend to get less reasonable when I get angry.

Actually, kid, I just took a wild guess since your name is Hudson, but now that you mention it, I am starting to notice a resemblance.

Cute, kid, but I've been doing this job for as many years as you've been born.  Well now isn't that a compliment of the highest sorts.

Both! The name just sealed the deal, really. Likewise, though. Do you know how long you’ll be here for? Oh. Ooookay then. Maxwell it is. The family resemblance just keeps getting stronger. 

Well, you've certainly showcased your problem solving skills, haven't you?  The houses very own Nancy Drew.  A couple of weeks at most, I'm sure.  What a lovely compliment, love.